Hozier B Like "hey Girl What If The Ceaseless Battle Between Unconquerable Suffering (as A Consequence

every time i listen to malevolent, i'm like "oh these two are getting a little toxically codependent, i'm not sure if that's so good" like i'm not listening to toxic codependency: the podcast

So there's a lot to unpack here but I want to start by talking about the ending and specifically about the Metatron and the calculating moves made at the end of episode 6.

Every single piece of what happened there was a manipulation technique being employed against Aziraphale to an almost brilliant degree and I'm honestly a little obsessed with what this says about the Metatron in particular.

Let's go in order.

First of all. We see him order coffee. In a human body. Something sweet and sugary. He talks to Nina and asks her about her shop name. Does anyone ever ask for death? And when she tells him no they don't his response is to say "so predictable". Our introduction to him here even when everything about him reads like a sweet old man is presented to show us someone who reads the world in terms of being predictable to him.

He then shows up in the middle of Aziraphale's existence being threatened. He immediately cuts down the threat's authority (using outdated language like Az himself would favor) and reemphasizes his own connection to Heaven. When Michael doesn't recognize him and he puts her down and then directly engages Crowley. Crowley who, to Aziraphale, has for centuries at a minimum been someone he thinks is smarter, better, more Good than these other archangels. The Metatron validates these beliefs. Crowley is more Heavenly than these archangels who couldn't even recognize the voice of God when he was standing right in front of them.

The Metatron draws attention to the fact he's in a human body. The kind of body Aziraphale has been in and loved for nearly 6000 years. He then banishes the archangels, implying their morality is in a gray space, and validates Muriel someone we have seen Aziraphale react positively to and someone outside the current power structure. Look at me, he's saying. I see and validate the little guy.

He then tries to talk to Aziraphale. Aziraphale says "I've made my position quite clear." And then the Metatron offers Aziraphale the coffee. This bartering chip, consuming sustenance, is a thing that Aziraphale and Crowley have used as their connective tissue for centuries. It's an olive branch for them. It's giving Aziraphale bodily pleasure and the Metatron implies that he himself has partaken also - a thing we know that Aziraphale has struggled historically with moralizing. He is seen by the closest thing he has left to his parent and he is having old fears validated as safe and old habits being played upon to make him feel secure

He then REMOVES Aziraphale from his home turf. Not only does he remove Crowley from the equation but he takes Aziraphale from the place that has stood as a place of sanctuary throughout the entirety of the season. The shop is Safe and Aziraphale is leaving it and he is leaving the one person who might be able to smell the bullshit coming from the Metatron. The music notably turns absolutely dire here.

The next time we see them the Metatron tells Aziraphale that he doesn't need to answer instantly. He can take his time, if he likes. All the time he needs. And then tells him to go tell Crowley. Once again bringing Crowley in as a valid part of this while manufacturing a scenario where he can't possibly be.

Az ends up in a place where he's overwhelmed and confused and he wants so badly to believe what he's being told. It's an appealing thing from his perspective! He feels off kilter like he's made a mistake in judging the Metatron. He can't even fully articulate what happened to Crowley at first and he's had absolutely no real time to actually think it through. He's running on sheer reactive energy.

The Metatron starts their conversation by asking Aziraphale's opinion. Who should rule Heaven? This is once again playing into making Az feel validated and like he's a part of this decision making process. The Metatron corrects him, complimenting Aziraphale and making him feel capable and in control. He reassures Aziraphale's bafflement. And draws attention to some traits that, while true of Aziraphale around Crowley, are not his defining traits in the eyes of Heaven. You don't just tell people what they want to hear I find particularly notable in this regard given Aziraphale spent most of his time on earth actively lying to Heaven and doing just that. But it fits into the narrative Aziraphale has built around himself, especially post Apocalypse. The Metatron then says I need you (a phrase Az will use much more painfully here in a minute).

And even after all this Aziraphale says no. He says flat out he doesn't want to go back to Heaven. He says this!!! And then the Metatron sweetens the pot. He swaps tactics. Not once has this come up until Aziraphale pushes back against the idea. If the Metatron could've gotten him without using it I have no doubt he wouldn't have bothered with it. Come to Heaven and we can save Crowley. Aziraphale loves Crowley. Aziraphale thinks Crowley is better than any of the angels he's interacted with. Crowley is Good and Nice and Kind and always saving him and now he's being presented with a way to return that. He can Forgive Crowley - a thing Crowley has always presented to Aziraphale as something he struggles with. All of these things Aziraphale has watched Crowley react to in a way that belittles himself or distances them from one another. Of course he wouldn't consider that maybe what he was actually saying is "I'm unforgivable and I don't want that forgiveness."

The Metatron offers Aziraphale a Dream Offer for the pre Armageddon Aziraphale. You can keep your Crowley. You can heal him like you have always thought he deserved. You can have power and control the people who for your whole existence has beaten you down. It can go back to how it was but BETTER.

When Aziraphale leaves he still hasn't answered. He goes and has the conversation they have. It's intense and emotional and the Metatron comes in after the Moment all casual and asks how it goes, knowing fully well the shitstorm he had just set up to get created. And then he turns around and says "always did want to go his own way" which is not only true of Crowley but framed as a bad thing despite the fact that he has just spent twenty minutes or so telling Aziraphale that he's done his own thing and that is Good. He is playing both sides of this perspective as it suits him. And then he cuts down Crowley asking questions, pressuring Aziraphale to avoid doing the same. He then proceeds to ask Aziraphale not if he's made up his mind but if he's ready to get started. He is one by one closing off exit routes to this thing as Aziraphale starts to look more and more panicked and indecisive. He makes sure the bookshop is in good hands and asks Aziraphale if there's anything he needs to take with him. Letting Aziraphale have the illusion of choice while cutting down "I don't want to" as an option altogether.

And Az, as soon as the Metatron is out of shot, tries to express this. And then he falls back right on old coping methods. The Metatron pats him on the head. Reassures that he's the right one for this. That he is Good. That his particular skillset is needed here.

It is a masterstroke of manipulation. A very dark twist on what we see Crowley do time and time again with Aziraphale throughout the millennia. Familiar in a way that makes Aziraphale feel safe. Except this time this is being used to put him back in line. It's brilliant and painful and it fucking hurt and I need a season 3 to see the Metatron get what's coming to him stat.

I need a Too Sweet edit for Dean Winchester, but instead of a ship edit, it's just between pre hell and post hell Dean.

Dionysus and Apollo

My biggest Rick Riordan pet peeve (I love his books but I have many many gripes with some things…)

Uh Apollo isn’t the god of fucking rock n roll stars and ‘bad’ poetry. That’s Dionysus. Apollo is the god of ballet, of studied poetry, the kind that has rules and form while Dionysus is poetry that says ‘fuck you’ to all that and scribbles on a page. Apollo is the god of ballet, a type of dance so grueling and studied that there are schools recognized for their disipline all over the world… Dionysus is the god of breakdance and dubstep not becaus they are any less hard but because it was born on the streets and taught there still. Apollo is the god that showed Michael Angelo wisdom while Dionysus drove Van Gogh to paint a night with stars no one had ever seen before and who drove Pollock mad with drink and who showed Dali that dreams could be painted. Apollo might have inspired Mozart to learn piano and read musi but it was Dionysus who drove him mad with creation. 

Apollo and Dionysus are two sides of a coin, of art and genius, of academia and emperial learning.  Apollo is the god of rational thinking and order, appealing to prudence and purity. On the other hand, Dionysus is the god of irrationality and chaos, appealing to emotions and instincts. The Greeks did not consider the two gods to be opposites or rivals, although often the two deities were entwined by nature. In fact, Dionysus’ temples were always built next to Apollo’s as you cannot have one without the other. 

Also, it is Dionysus who is the literal god of theatre, not Apollo. 

“Fuck!"

It's an exclamation from Nicky over the radio that makes Booker stop so abruptly that Nile runs full tilt into him; her face making acquaintance with his broad back and she just barely avoids accidentally shooting him in the ass with her gun.

"Damn it, Booker!" She hisses, heart pounding in fear of being overheard by the drug dealers who are about to be put through the wringer by them. "What the hell wa-" She begins in a whisper, irritated by what caused him to stop.

He interrupts her with a raised hand, signaling her to be quiet, and Nile obediently shuts her mouth. Of course, she knows how important it is on missions to agree upon something and trust each other, so she swallows her growing curiosity with difficulty, waiting dutifully instead.

For a handful of heartbeats, it seems like he's listening to something, but when Nile pricks up her ears, all she hears are the noises of the warehouse - the radio remains silent.

"Okay," Booker finally whispers, and starts moving again. "Let's keep going."

The closer they get to the drug dealers about to load another shipment, the sharper Nile's perception becomes, and she falls into the rhythm of objective focus that allows her not to be affected by overwhelming excitement or fear.

Booker gives her a small grin and nods wordlessly at her, silently counting with his fingers, ready to heckle the drug dealers through Andy and Joe on the other side. Three, two, o-

"Motherfucking shit!" The next curse rings out on Nile's radio and once again Booker freezes, pressing his back against one of the containers. One of his long arms also pushes Nile further into the shadows.

Booker's strange behavior deeply confuses Nile and she notices a drop of sweat slowly trickling down her temple. As he begins to retreat, pushing her further back as well, she braces herself against him with little success, but has to give in so as not to draw the enemies' attention to them after all.

Only when they are out of earshot, outside the warehouse, and the icy wind makes her shiver, she confronts him, irritated by now. "What are you doing? We were almost there! Did you get cold feet? Or did I miss something?" Nile actually always thought her perceptiveness was more than good. "We can't leave Andy and Joe alone with them!"

"Andy and Joe are on their way back to the car, too," Booker replies, his breath a bright cloud in the night air. "The mission's off."

At first, Nile thinks she has misheard. "O…sorry, what?! Are you kidding me?"

Calmly, Booker stows the explosives he was going to attach to the vans in his backpack. "Do I look like I'm kidding?" He asks, slightly amused, and Nile has no idea what he finds so funny.

"Booker?" Andy's voice crackles in Nile's ear.

"Already on our way," Booker answers her unspoken question, and Nile has the hated feeling that she is missing something important.

"All right, see you at the car."

As Booker starts walking the way they'd just taken with careful caution, Nile trudges behind, grumbling.

"Could someone explain to me what has fucking changed with our plan in there?" Even though she's been part of the team for several months, the others continue to tend to forget that, as a newcomer, she has no idea about insiders or secret maneuvers.

Booker takes pity on her with an apologetic look and slows his steps so she can catch up to him. "Nicky swore," is his only explanation, and Nile is about to punch him in the shoulder.

"I’ve noticed. So?" She asks impatiently.

"Have you ever heard Nicky swear?"

A little, Nile feels like a student that is pointed towards the answer of a riddle by a teacher who wants her to solve it independently. But as she ponders Booker's question, she's surprised to realize that she's actually never heard Nicky curse.

Part of her protests firmly, because everyone curses at some point, right? But even as she strains her brain and digs into memories, she can't find a moment when Nicky had cursed in any form.

Last Monday, half his shoulder had been ripped off in an explosion, and though Nile had been able to tell he was in great pain, Nicky had endured the healing of the injury with a stoic expression.

Yesterday he had accidentally burned dinner, but instead of swearing, Nicky had merely sighed and then made a delicious meal from scratch.

"Nicky doesn't just swear," Booker puts her thoughts into words. "Which, by implication, means the shit is going to hit the fan when he does swear."

"Makes sense," Nile reluctantly admits, suddenly strangely glad to be out of the warehouse, to which she gives an uneasy look. "But the first time Nicky cursed, you didn't abort the mission yet."

"I was waiting to see if he would swear a second time." Booker seems to have been seized by an inner turmoil at Nicky's curses, showing Nile that this is indeed a serious matter.

"It's very simple, Nile. One curse is something like a red flag, okay?Swearing twice means immediately canceling the mission, and three curses means we should take to our heels." Subconsciously, Booker's walking pace increases and Nile struggles to keep up with his long legs.

"Keep that in mind. Got our asses saved a lot of tim-"

An Italian curse cuts Booker off. Even though Nile's Italian is a little rusty it must be quite a heavy curse by the face Booker pulls.

And Nile starts running.

Sometimes listening to a song on repeat isn’t enough. I need to inject that shit into my veins. I need it engraved into my mind. Tattooed on my eyelids. Sometimes all I need is to eat, sleep, BREATHE that song

Bitches will find a fictional man attractive and then immediately imagine him in situations where he is losing alarming amounts of blood

I am sorry, but what is Harlan doing making a podcast that is darker than malevolent. DARKER?? HOW IS IT DARKER? girl what are you doing, what fuels this. I don't want to know, I am a little curious... but that content warning list. Dear God wtf. I am not strong enough for this. Oh but it sounds good, and horrible and gross and what if, but like no.

I also think that it is funny tat he thanked his wife and posted what seems like a very heavy and disturbing. I don't know he is like I love my wife she is so wonderful and supports me! Look at this podcast I made, and it is really dark so look at the content warning about the show. (please don't take this as a criticism it isn't. I just think it is a bit funny because of the tone change)

Monsters learning to be human is one of my favorite tropes in stories and I love the way Malevolent handles it. Yes, John learns that he’s more than his past and learns to love Arthur and humanity, but not only does he “become good” he is also gains all the selfish emotions that come with being human.

Take lying for example. In seasons 1 + 2 he lies because that’s what he knows as the King in Yellow. He lies and manipulates for his own benefit. He does so uncaring how that affects Arthur because he is just an end to a means. And it’s hard to tell when he’s lied as he only points it out when he knows it would hurt Arthur.

Compare that to season 3 + 4. Despite lying being the core of who he was as the king, he gets kinda bad at it. It’s pretty clear that John is hiding things from Arthur about what happened to him when they were separated and why John wants to go to New York. He begins to sound so unconfident in his words because he now understands what he’s doing is wrong. Instead of lying to manipulate and hurt Arthur, he’s lying to try and hide the fact that he’s hurting him. He’s so scared of the repercussions of the bad thing he knows he did, that he lies to cover it and pretend it will all blow over. It takes a lot of guts to admit your own guilt, and deciding to shrink away from it instead is so human.

When John admits all his lies to Kayne in part 40 he just sounds so desperate. He truly believes that he’s in the home stretch. That just a little more lying and everything will be done and he won’t feel guilty anymore. He decided he’ll tell Arthur when it’s over because he believes Arthur won’t be that mad, that he’ll think “you did something bad, but it all worked out in the end so it’s okay”, but we all know that’s not how that works. He’s so horrified when it’s revealed Arthur heard his confession because he knew what was coming, all of Arthur’s feelings of betrayal, disappointment, and anger, and he wasn’t ready to face it. He feels so guilty that he probably can’t imagine Arthur understanding and forgiving him.

Of course Kanye’s deal makes this worse. John once again knows that this is wrong as he hesitates at the beginning. But once Arthur begins to threaten him to not take the deal, John decides to take it, once again trying to run away from the repercussions of his actions. John doesn’t know yet that lying more only makes things worse, and Kayne knows this and gives him one more bump to trip on before leaving John to the fate that he has been avoiding for so long.

Of course it’s enjoyable to see John gaining his humanity. Him showing compassion, sympathy, and enjoying the mundane parts of life like admiring the view or wanting to watch a movie. But humanity is a double sided coin that comes with emotions like jealousy, selfishness, and envy. It’s frustrating to see John make all these decisions that we know are wrong and will have bad consequences, but he hasn’t been in this position before doesn’t know how this will all play out yet. And we just have to watch him learn the hard way.

kaminari !! 💛 ⚡