Kostel Svatého Jiří (St. George’s Church) Also Known As "ghost Church" In Luková, Czech Republic

That awkward moment when you’re like “ahhh that was grooming” ????

Friday nights & Clandestines

The world is small when it is limited to your own room

And the thick smoke of his endless cigarettes

And cobwebs on the framed pictures of the lovers time buried/

The furniture is dusty with ashes of my past, but he doesn't mind that

He's okay with the fact

that we'll never last and the passion will wilt away like his cigarettes/

2 A.M. and Loving in adagio

Flesh meshing with mine and our heartbeats synchronised

We dont have to speak to communicate

As every caress is open to interpret

We are in separate wonderlands/

The night is unfurling and I wonder if our obscenity woke up the sun but

I cannot think clear because I am inebriated on the cadence of his voice and my head is on his chest

And I listen to him like I listen to that damned song/

Carefully/ intently/ on repeat

From start to finish.

The soundtrack is coming to an end

And so is his last cigarette

I will lay on his side of the bed and watch him leave

But the smoke will stay

And I won't open any windows

I'd let me suffocate/

I'm a writer before I'm a mistress

Hence I'll write love confessions with the remains of our night

And my fingers in the ashtray

Oh how I envied your cigarettes as they

Kiss your mouth more than I do/

But it's okay, you suck the life out of both of us.

—the male gaze

the robber bride by margaret atwood // the virgin suicides (1999) // at test of objectification theory: the effect of the male gaze on appearance concerns in college women by rachel m. calogero // ex machina (2015) // a woman’s beauty by susan sontag // lolita (1997) // shame is an ocean, swim across by mary lambert // fleabag // fleabag: the scriptures by phoebe waller-bridge

writing tip:

if you push buttons on a keyboard, letters will appear on the screen. and with that power you can do anything

“Stay afraid but do it anyway. What’s important is the action. You don’t have to wait to be confident. Just do it and eventually the confidence will follow.”

— Carrie Fisher

My favourite character: smokes, drinks, reads greek and other dead languages, keeps a latin diary, kills someone by punching their collarbone, weaves an intricate web of lies and plot to escape jail, kisses his unrequited love and then shoots himself.

Me: now I know what Wilde meant when he said 'You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit.'

lovers

Truly eye opening how selfish the men around me are

Reblog this if you're the eldest daughter who had to mature at a really young age, were always seen as the 'quiet and unproblematic' one, were the overachiever of the family, were the so-called 'perfect child', so now you're literally terrified of doing anything wrong because you don't want to ruin your reputation and whenever you try to tell anyone about your fears or insecurities they just brush it off like "lol why would you think that you're worrying for no reason"