"fuck It We Ball" Is For Stress About The Future "it Is What It Is" Is For Stress About The Past And

someone please tell men women do not want you to flirt with them at the library. i was extra focused and this assh*le comes sit next to me and starts asking me questions about what's my major and whether i live close to uni. sir i do not want to give you these information and now i can't focus on my fucking linguistics i hate it here.

Ken Shiozaki (Japanese, 1972) - Cerberus (2024)

girls be like “im fighting demons” and the demon is a degree they chose for themselves

my heart is a ripe fruit rotting in my chest

you don’t need perfect conditions to start. you just need to start. five minutes of focus is better than waiting for motivation to come.

she would actually end up taking the exam not the next semester but during the summer and flunking that goddamn exam but at least she passed and got it over with. (spelling to sound is my nemesis)

chaotic academia is deciding to not pass my english spelling to sound rules exam two days before the due date because I've been studying this shit for a week and a half now and still don't understand shit.

get out of the house. visit museums. go to open air festivals. go to concerts. meet new people in the park. use apps to meet people with common interests. try new things, try hot yoga. try pilates. try rock climbing, try a new gym, a new trainer. attend a public event, a yoga class, aerobics class, join a book club. get a professional massage, have a full day of spa activities. read a life changing book on selfcare, mental health and wellness and implement it daily. make new friends that you actually hang out with physically, frequently, that you have lunch dates with, coffee dates with, sleepovers, that you heal and laugh and grow with day by day, friends that are friends in every sense of the word. be open to opportunities every day for anything that brings you joy and sunlight and adventure. life is meant to be lived, tasted, experimented, savored to the last maddening drop. life is not a neat little checklist put away on your shelf for when you feel ready to tackle them. life is here. life is right here right now. what are you waiting for, a magical tomorrow to give you permission to live the life you want? you already have permission, all you have to do is decide it. it's in your hands. now, in 10 years, in 30 years, in 50, the choice is yours. the only thing standing in the way of that reality and the current one... is your actions.

15.05.22 // Lumen's diary

16.11.2021

studied some english linguistics at the library and continued to read A Journal of the Plague Year by Daniel Defoe for my literature class at the coffee shop today. could've been more productive but at least i worked a bit. ended up failing my english grammar test though but i can retake it at the end of the semester so i'll have to work on what i didn't understand on the first shot to get a better grade on my next attempt.

sometimes i have to remind myself that failing a test is not the end of the world, it still feels like shit but i'll get through it and you will too! 🤎

Get over the shame and the lack of confidence and the fear of failure and the imposter syndrome. Nobody cares. Some people are cruel and mean and love to watch others fail. So what? Do you really want to prove them right? Get the fuck up, we’re chasing our dreams like our lives depend on it because, in case you forgot, they do.

i love you ugliness i love you obscenity i love you monstrosity i love you decay i love you horror i love you grotesque i love you