Reblogging From The Old Sideblog - Blog Posts
she would actually end up taking the exam not the next semester but during the summer and flunking that goddamn exam but at least she passed and got it over with. (spelling to sound is my nemesis)
chaotic academia is deciding to not pass my english spelling to sound rules exam two days before the due date because I've been studying this shit for a week and a half now and still don't understand shit.
can we collectively agree to not come study as a couple at the library? or at the very least not to be all over each other snuggling and talking and kissing (which by definition implies to take your mask off) if you are a couple??? some of us want to be able to study without having to bear with your disgusting pda and your giggles.
thx for coming to my tedtalk.
someone please tell men women do not want you to flirt with them at the library. i was extra focused and this assh*le comes sit next to me and starts asking me questions about what's my major and whether i live close to uni. sir i do not want to give you these information and now i can't focus on my fucking linguistics i hate it here.
it's so weird re-reading this two years later. i remember that time and i remember how stressed and anxious about it all i was. i remember thinking i might fail and how scared i was of disappointing everyone but first and foremost myself, but now that i know how this year was going to go for me i realize how silly it was of me to be this scared. of course at the time it wasn't silly and those feelings were absolutely valid but in retrospect, oh how i hurt myself stressing myself out and doubting myself so much. i wish i could tell 2021 me that everything was going to be alright and that i should trust myself more.
but maybe i can still say that to myself. maybe i can use this experience to help me trust myself more today. come back to this when in doubt. 🩶
09.12.2021 (i'm belgian so i use the dd.mm.yyyy date format)
i couldn't possibly tell you how happy and grateful i am right now that my first little post could attract so many responses. never in a million years could i have imagined that people would like it that much and i didn't expect it to gain more than 10 notes and here we are almost a month later (i'm sorry) and it has gathered almost 70x that amount. i am so grateful to each and one of you for interacting with this post and giving me the confidence to continue posting on this account.
i hope that in the future i can continue to create content that you guys will like and that will have a positive impact on others, know that i will try my best to post interesting things and helpful posts.
today i'm studying at the library again. i'm working on my literary analysis class because my exam is next week and i am terrified i will fail and that for various reasons.
the first of them is that this year is extremely important for me as i have failed my 3rd year of BA this september and i am currently retaking it having changed my minor from musicology to english, which means i cannot afford to fail this year again. besides in the past i've usually got very good grades in my english classes and thus my parents are expecting a lot from me this year as all my classes are english classes. finally, as i have to take both 1st year and 2d year classes in the same year some things are harder for me as i don't have the necessary knowledge the second year classes are build upon and my literature TA kindly agreed to share with me the course's slides before everyone else so i could work in advance, therefore i'm worried i'll fail and disappoint him given that he has been so kind to me this semester and made exceptions to his rules to help me with the class, i want to show him it was worth it and he was right to trust me.
all in all i am worried i'll fall short of all these people's expectations. i try to stay confident and give my best in my studying but that lingering feeling of inadequacy is never far away hidden in some dark corner of my mind.
my advice to myself and to all of the people reading this that are feeling the same things, is to try and remember that these are just feelings and not facts and that we are stronger than the mean anxious voice in our minds. let's continue to work hard (without overexerting ourselves) to prove to ourselves first and foremost that we are capable of doing this and that we're great no matter what, that academic success is not all that matters and that we have many other qualities that define us way better than our ability to regurgitate knowledge in an exam, in conditions that are not those of real life. 🤎
16.11.2021
studied some english linguistics at the library and continued to read A Journal of the Plague Year by Daniel Defoe for my literature class at the coffee shop today. could've been more productive but at least i worked a bit. ended up failing my english grammar test though but i can retake it at the end of the semester so i'll have to work on what i didn't understand on the first shot to get a better grade on my next attempt.
sometimes i have to remind myself that failing a test is not the end of the world, it still feels like shit but i'll get through it and you will too! 🤎