Lilyrose_depp: 🍦23🍧🌸!

          “   i  don't  even  know  what  i  was  expecting   ——   maybe  it's  the  fact  that  it's  based  on  the  making  of  facebook  ,  which  is  kinda  interesting  ,  but  not  interesting  enough  that  you  wanna  recommend  it  to  someone  else  .  and  yeah  ,  maybe  i  did  expect  it  to  be  a  lot  better  than  that  ,  so  i  get  what  you  mean  ,   ”   she  offers  her  two  cents  ,  followed  by  a  chuckle  .   “   well  ,  nobody  that  i  know  ,  but  rowing  for  fun  doesn't  even  sound  that  abnormal  .  it's  definitely  not  something  i  would  do  for  fun  though  .  to  each  their  own  ,  right  ?  either  way  eduardo  saverin  deserved  better  .   ”

˙   ៹    movie night @ charlie's place

“  to  be  honest  ,  with  the  way  people  talk  about  this  movie  i  think  i  was  expecting  it  to  be  a  lot  better  than  that  ,  “  a  kernel  of  popcorn  is  tossed  into  her  mouth  ,  the  credits  to  the  social  network  rolling  across  the  flat  screen  that  hung  against  the  wall  of  her  living  room  .  “  well  .  .  .  let  me  not  say  that  ⸻  it’s  not  like  the  movie  was  bad  ,  i  think  the  winklevoss  twins  really  just  freak  me  the  fuck  out  ,  “  her  head  shakes  ,  “  seriously  ,  what  normal  people  do  you  know  that  row  for  fun  ?  “  ( @salvateure )

closed  starter  for  josie  @delicatlueur setting:  new  club  grand  opening  in  nyc

          “   oh  come  on  ,  babe  .  you  can't  just  refuse  to  come  with  me  at  the  very  last  minute  !  we're  literally  almost  there  ,   ”   she  tries  to  reason  with  josie  ,  but  really ,  she's  not  going  to  take  no  for  an  answer   ——   it's  how  she  even  gets  josie  to  leave  her  house  in  the  first  place  .   “   a  friend  gave  me  two  vip  invites  and  i  haven't  seen  my  best  friend  in  a  whole  ass  week  .  can  you  believe  that  ?  a  whole  ass  week  ,  josie  .  plus  ,  when  was  the  last  time  you  went  to  a  club  ?   ”

          it  would  be  a  lie  to  say  that  camille  isn't  afraid  that  things  would  take  a  turn  for  the  worst  .  she  has  always  known  that  darius  has  a  bit  of  a  temper  ,  but  she's  not  usually  on  the  receiving  end  until  their  break  -  up  ,  in  which  she  rightfully  deserves  in  a  way  .  a  sigh  of  relief  escapes  from  her  as  the  tall  guy  eventually  retreats  from  the  situation  ,  and  she  follows  him  to  the  side  of  the  building  ,  somehow  feeling  a  bit  antsy  now  that  it's  just  the  two  of  them  here  .  at  his  question  ,  camille  opens  her  mouth  to  say  something  ,  but  she  couldn't  seem  to  find  the  right  words   ——   their  relationship  has  already  reached  rock  bottom  at  this  point  ,  and  yet  a  small  part  of  her  still  believes  that  she  could  save  this  ,  whatever's  left  of  them  ,  anything  .

          “   i  didn't  know  you  smoke  ,   ”   comes  out  her  response  ,  eyes  glued  to  the  cigarette  in  between  his  lips  ,  momentarily  catches  herself  staring  for  a  second  before  she  finally  looks  away  .   “   when  did  that  even  happen  ?   ”   she  could  probably  tell  ,  knowing  that  she  too  has  been  indulging  in  some  new  bad  habits  since  the  last  time  they  saw  each  other  .  she  lets  out  a  scoff  ,   “   seriously  ,  darius  ?  do  you  think  that's  what  this  is  all  about  ?  me  trying  to  get  back  my  things  ?  i  don't  even  care  about  them  .  i  just  want  a  fucking  excuse  to  see  you  .   ”   this  is  so  pathetic  ,  she  knows  ,  but  she'd  be  damned  if  she  doesn't  take  this  chance  to  talk  to  him  now  that  he's  here  .   “   i  heard  that  you're  coming  back  to  new  york  .  is  that  true  ?   ”

     old habits die hard. at least it's what his friends throw out whenever darius finds himself some trouble. it's the first time he's been back in months and he hears: ' the prodigal son returns. ' it's enough of a reason for him to shove his shoulders up against the other. textbook barfight: the force is enough to knock the stranger over a neighboring table, their friends gather, the two are idly held back. see, he heard that tone right. or wrong—the youngest suwan had a bone to pick with just about anyone. “  you know me, but who are you ?  ”  on a bad day, he would've done more but it was meant to be a good night. the following happens simultaneously: he looks over at his friends, notices their confusion, and he hears a familiar voice. camille addario is always going to be the last person darius would like to see. at some point they all thought the two would run as suwan-addario. he's disappointed (read: hurt—it's like reopening wounds he thought had closed) when he realizes who it is. “  alright,  ”  he decides. “  not worth it.  ”   his friends know him well enough to give him space. “  what do you want ?  ” is what darius leads with. they end up tucked to the side of the building with his lighter struggling against his cigarette. his tone is dry and rugged—practically mumbles the question at her. “  i don't have your things anymore. ”  it's why he ignored her texts about it. “  it's all tossed. what do we have to talk about ? ” because sometimes, words are put together to hurt others.

Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters

          “   so  you're  saying  i've  got  no  standards  or  something  ?   touché  ,  logan  .   ”   of  course  camille  only  says  that  to  mess  with  him  ,  it's  apparent  from  the  playful  smile  toying  on  her  lips  .  another  laugh  comes  along  at  his  following  words   ——   how  could  she  forget  that  she's  in  her  bad  guy  era  right  now  ?  thank  god  for  logan  !   “   oh  ,  trust  me  ,  i'm  not  .  it's  just  that  i'm  not  a  natural  like  you  so  sometimes  i  get  distracted  .   ”   once  her  attention  drifts  back  to  logan  ,   “   well  ,  fuck  him  ,  i  guess  .  i  mean  ,  if  the  logan  im  is  offering  to  get  me  a  table  in  the  vip  section  ,  how  could  i  possibly  say  no  to  that  ?  my  friend  over  there  absolutely  got  nothing  on  you  .   ”

" i've got standards , contrary to popular belief . " lips pull into a small smirk . it's not that he necessarily minds partying with the normies , it's more that he'd rather not have phone cameras pointed at him every time he moves . logan has learned over time to be more CAUTIOUS about such things . he lets out a short laugh , " thought you wanted to be the bad guy now . don't tell me you're chickening out already . have i taught you nothing ? " eyes follow her gaze to the man in question , giving his head a quick shake , " highly doubt it . look at him — feels like hot shit with his bottle of 1942 . he's not gonna notice anyone unless they're trying to take that bottle out of his hands before he's done milking it . "

          “   nothing's  wrong  with  being  a  little  crazy  sometimes  ,  but  seeing  a  fortune  teller  is  probably  like  the  least  crazy  thing  you  can  do  around  here  .  i  mean  ,  what's  the  worst  that  could  happen  ?  it's  not  like  the  predictions  are  real  .   ”   camille  truly  doesn't  believe  in  the  whole  being  able  to  look  into  the  future  kinda  thing  and  it  shows  .   “   you  should  still  give  it  a  try  though  .  i'd  say  you  shouldn't  trust  them  one  hundred  percent  ,  but  if  you're  into  that  sort  of  thing  ,  you  do  you  .  after  all  someone's  gotta  believe  them  ,  am  i  right  ?  that's  how  they  keep  the  business  going  .   ”

with: @nepofmstarters where: outside the fortune teller's tent @ the vday carnival

stood at the edge of the valentine's day carnival, van couldn't help feeling drawn to the flickering glow and velvety, starry pattern of the fortune teller's tent. she sighed, a mix of curiosity and apprehension as she turned to the person nearby. " y'know, back in texas, we've got our fair share of superstitions — and mixin' fate with fortune-telling feels like playin' with fire, " she drawled, southern accent adding a touch of warmth to her tone. " but i'd be lying if i said i'm not a little curious. am i crazy for thinkin' about goin' inside and lettin' those cards have a say ? or is that just askin' for bad luck ? " in her eyes, it was like telling someone your wish after blowing out the candles on a birthday cake . . . if you said it or heard it out loud, it was never going to come true. but how could she not feel some allure ? she was known to be a romanticist, after all.

          “   first  of  all  ,  that's  so  rude  .  second  of  all  ,  which  part  of  this  screams  we're  staying  in  for  you  ?   ”   hands  gestured  randomly  over  her  outfit  ,  an  offended  look  washes  over  her  face  .   “   i  was  feeling  cute  and  shit  and  now  i  don't  even  know  anymore  .  well  ,  at  least  i'm  dressed  for  the  part  ,   ”   she  blurts  out  ,  motioning  towards  aria  .   “   i  distinctly  remember  telling  you  to  wear  something  cute  because  we're  gonna  go  bowling  .  .  .  i  guess  you  didn't  hear  that  one  .   ”

˙   ៹ open starter :

“  um  .  .  .  i  thought  you  said  we  were  going  out  tonight  ,  “  she  gives  [ name ]  a  quick  scan  with  her  eyes  ,  one  of  them  clearly  must  have  misinterpreted  the  dress  code  for  tonight’s  plans  .  “  when  you  said  out  i  thought  you  meant  like  to  dinner  or  to  the  club  or  something  ,  not  out  of  the  bed  and  onto  the  couch  .  .  .  “  ( @nepofmstarters )

          “   oh  my  god  ,  babe  .  did  you  just  admit  that  you're  obsessed  with  me  ?   ”   of  course  she  knows  vivi  doesn't  mean  it  like  that  ,  but  either  way  that's  what  she's  hearing  at  the  moment  .   “   i  mean  ,  it's  obvious  that  i'm  obsessed  with  it  ,  which  is  why  i  wear  it  so  often  .  can  you  really  blame  me  though  ?  it  just  goes  well  with  anything  and  it's  so  chic  .   ”   in  fact  there's  one  on  top  of  her  head  right  now  ,  because  how  could  camille  not  have  it  on  her  now  that  it  has  become  her  signature  ?   “   oh  ,  we  can  definitely  find  a  signature  thing  for  you  ,  vi  .  tell  me  ,  you  got  something  you're  obsessed  with  at  the  moment  besides  me  ?   ”

closed starter for @salvateure ! ↪ at a chanel store perhaps ?

" i'm sure i've told you this before , but i'm literally obsessed with your lil' chanel cat eye sunglasses THING you've got going on . it's , like , your signature . you see 'em and think cami ! i need a signature like that . "

          “   well  ,  i'm  in  my  bad  guy  era  ,  remember  ?  of  course  i'm  gonna  twist  your  words  ,   ”   she  lets  out  a  laugh  ,  fighting  the  urge  to  roll  her  eyes  at  his  following  words  ,   “   okay  ,  that  absolutely  has  nothing  to  do  with  me  not  moving  past  my  fangirl  phase  .   ”   their  first  meeting  still  makes  her  a  little  giddy  every  time  she  thinks  about  it  ,  so  maybe  he's  not  all  wrong  about  it  either  .   “   i  mean  ,  how  could  i  get  over  you  ?  nobody  has  ever  serenaded  me  before  and  you  made  me  one  less  lonely  girl  .  .  .  that  shit  is  kinda  hard  to  forget  ,  you  know  ,   ”   she  teases  ,  only  to  break  into  a  fit  of  giggles  soon  after  .   “   i  thought  a  while  ago  you're  flattered  that  i  called  you  a  natural  ,  why  are  you  so  offended  now  ?   damn  it  ,  logan  ,  pick  a  fuckin'  side  .   ”   mirrors  the  look  on  his  face  ,   “   yeah  sure  ,  let's  get  us  some  ‘42  so  we  can  feel  like  hot  shit  too   ——   oh  wait  ,  my  bad  .  we're  already  hot  shit  now  ,  aren't  we  ?   ”   

" don't twist my words ! " his exclamation is accompanied by a laugh — that's not at all what he'd MEANT , but she'd got him good . " oh , a natural , huh ? you flatter me ... thought you moved past that FANGIRL phase . good to know i've still got it . " hand rests over his heart , shooting a playful little smirk — and WINK — her way . hey , if she gets to tease him , then it's only fair that he gets to dish it right back ! it's all done lightheartedly , evidenced by the smile adorning his features . " you're ANNOYING . " he says it with love , " look , if this is your way of subversively telling me i'm being a dick , i've got the message loud and clear — but you can't say i'm not right . " he gives cami a look , " let's go get some '42 for ourselves . maybe your friend actually has a POINT . "

          anyone  in  their  social  circle  would  have  known  that  camille  and  darius  go  way  back  ,  and  they  were  best  friends  before  they  were  lovers  .  maybe  that's  why  this  whole  ordeal  hurt  more  than  it's  supposed  to  be  ,  because  what's  worse  than  a  heartbreak  if  not  a  betrayal  from  someone  who  you  think  would  always  have  your  back  ?  camille  stays  quiet  at  his  question  ,  knows  well  that  she  had  been  one  of  the  reasons  for  why  he  starts  smoking  in  the  first  place  .  hands  raised  to  hug  herself  ,  as  if  trying  to  keep  herself  from  falling  apart  ,  a  reminder  that  she  would  have  to  push  through  this  conversation  no  matter  how  painful  it  would  be  .  after  all  she  doesn't  think  she  could  stand  seeing  him  around  and  not  talk  to  him  any  longer  ,  even  if  she  knows  he's  probably  sick  of  her  by  now  .  hell  ,  even  camille  knows  she's  sick  of  herself  .  how  could  she  not  ?

          she  feels  her  nails  digging  into  her  skin  at  the  thought  .  darius  has  been  nothing  but  nice  to  her   ——   he's  always  been  supportive  of  what  she  does  ,  never  seemed  to  question  her  choices  or  why  she  desperately  wanted  to  be  in  the  spotlight  when  he  himself  despises  it  .  he  never  cared  for  the  fame  and  attention  ,  and  even  when  their  relationship  wasn't  made  public  ,  he  always  made  her  feel  loved  and  seen  .  it's  not  like  they  were  unhappy  ,  and  yet  she  still  ended  up  in  another  man's  arms  ,  as  if  what  they  had  was  never  enough  to  begin  with  .  his  words  make  her  speechless  ,  feels  the  pang  of  guilt  rising  in  her  chest  .  camille  braces  herself  to  look  at  him  ,  trying  to  clear  the  lump  suddenly  caught  in  her  throat  .   “   i'm  sorry  ,   ”   she  blurts  out  ,  because  really  ,  what  else  is  she  supposed  to  say  to  that  ?

          “   i'm  sorry  ,   ”   she  repeats  ,  like  a  broken  record  .   “   i  really  am  .  i  know  i  fucked  up  so  bad  but  ,   ”   there's  a  pause  ,  a  moment  to  collect  herself  ,  and  a  sudden  realization  that  there  shouldn't  be  a  but  .   “   i'm  sorry  ,  okay  ?  that  was  so  fucking  stupid  of  me  and  i  know  saying  this  probably  wouldn't  make  a  difference  ,  but  fuck  it  ,  darius  .  it's  always  been  you  .  i've  never  loved  anyone  like  i  loved  you  .  i  mean  ,  i  still  fucking  do  ,  but  god  ,  that  doesn't  even  matter  now  ,  right  ?   ”   maybe  she  should  just  shut  the  fuck  up  .   “   you  don't  even  fucking  trust  me  anymore  .   ”

      not that there was much to prepare for, darius just didn't think they'd speak for awhile. awhile because they'd known each other for so long. he woke up one day and saw his best friend in a different light. for better or for worse. “ when do you think ?  ”   it's hard to not sound as bitter as he does. he shifts uncomfortably: leans onto the wall one second and then stands on his own weight the next. he doesn't make eye contact either. because her eyes, maybe he missed her eyes—dark brown and honey sweet. a part of him is sure she's here to remind him of what's been broken.       there is nothing like knowing someone so well. too well ? there's that prying question: did you go back to him? but it's none of his business and he bites his tongue at the thought. it's unfortunate for him that he knows her crave—the way camille rushes in for the affection, the validation. they're all with their own vices, he just never thought he'd be the one she was trading in. “  well, i didn't want to see you. ”   his family made that much clear. he knew they missed her more than they'd ever admit to him. it took them awhile to get used to her and it took them awhile to move onto the idea of her. “  how— ” he wants to say something snarky, ask her why she cares. but he knew why she cared. “  yeah. ”  darius expels a long sigh. he had practically held his breath since he saw her. then a rare, defeated, “  you hurt me, you know ? you didn't even consider me or what i was—to stay—god, cami, seeing you makes me wonder if i can ever trust anyone again. ” what he wants to say is: everyone could've wronged me but it was never supposed to be you.