lily-rose depp at the 76th annual cannes film festival for the idol, by eddy chen.
camille gives the girl an eye roll , albeit playfully . “ oh , come on . it'll be fun , i promise . well , yeah , it does look kinda scary for the first time but once you're up there ? you'll forget all about it . at least you're coming with me and i've been on a ferris wheel a ton of times —— trust me , you're gonna love it . ” this time she offers yejin a reassuring smile . “ we can hold hands if you get scared . i'll keep you safe , okay ? ”
open starter - valentine's day carnival
"i'm like not scared of heights i swear. i've just never been on a ferris wheel and so, i don't know if i'm scared yet. like, will i regret it? will i yell? will you regret coming with me? probably, but who knows! not me, not yet, at least. but that's fun right?" yejin looks up at the wheel and it's massive size and height, biting her lip, a bit scared just from looking at it. "you can say no." ( @nepofmstarters )
anyone in their social circle would have known that camille and darius go way back , and they were best friends before they were lovers . maybe that's why this whole ordeal hurt more than it's supposed to be , because what's worse than a heartbreak if not a betrayal from someone who you think would always have your back ? camille stays quiet at his question , knows well that she had been one of the reasons for why he starts smoking in the first place . hands raised to hug herself , as if trying to keep herself from falling apart , a reminder that she would have to push through this conversation no matter how painful it would be . after all she doesn't think she could stand seeing him around and not talk to him any longer , even if she knows he's probably sick of her by now . hell , even camille knows she's sick of herself . how could she not ?
she feels her nails digging into her skin at the thought . darius has been nothing but nice to her —— he's always been supportive of what she does , never seemed to question her choices or why she desperately wanted to be in the spotlight when he himself despises it . he never cared for the fame and attention , and even when their relationship wasn't made public , he always made her feel loved and seen . it's not like they were unhappy , and yet she still ended up in another man's arms , as if what they had was never enough to begin with . his words make her speechless , feels the pang of guilt rising in her chest . camille braces herself to look at him , trying to clear the lump suddenly caught in her throat . “ i'm sorry , ” she blurts out , because really , what else is she supposed to say to that ?
“ i'm sorry , ” she repeats , like a broken record . “ i really am . i know i fucked up so bad but , ” there's a pause , a moment to collect herself , and a sudden realization that there shouldn't be a but . “ i'm sorry , okay ? that was so fucking stupid of me and i know saying this probably wouldn't make a difference , but fuck it , darius . it's always been you . i've never loved anyone like i loved you . i mean , i still fucking do , but god , that doesn't even matter now , right ? ” maybe she should just shut the fuck up . “ you don't even fucking trust me anymore . ”
not that there was much to prepare for, darius just didn't think they'd speak for awhile. awhile because they'd known each other for so long. he woke up one day and saw his best friend in a different light. for better or for worse. “ when do you think ? ” it's hard to not sound as bitter as he does. he shifts uncomfortably: leans onto the wall one second and then stands on his own weight the next. he doesn't make eye contact either. because her eyes, maybe he missed her eyes—dark brown and honey sweet. a part of him is sure she's here to remind him of what's been broken. there is nothing like knowing someone so well. too well ? there's that prying question: did you go back to him? but it's none of his business and he bites his tongue at the thought. it's unfortunate for him that he knows her crave—the way camille rushes in for the affection, the validation. they're all with their own vices, he just never thought he'd be the one she was trading in. “ well, i didn't want to see you. ” his family made that much clear. he knew they missed her more than they'd ever admit to him. it took them awhile to get used to her and it took them awhile to move onto the idea of her. “ how— ” he wants to say something snarky, ask her why she cares. but he knew why she cared. “ yeah. ” darius expels a long sigh. he had practically held his breath since he saw her. then a rare, defeated, “ you hurt me, you know ? you didn't even consider me or what i was—to stay—god, cami, seeing you makes me wonder if i can ever trust anyone again. ” what he wants to say is: everyone could've wronged me but it was never supposed to be you.
maybe if this was another person , camille wouldn't be so persistent , but she doesn't think she could easily let darius go . sure , she's fully aware by now that she's the fucking problem , and it's times like this that reminds her she wouldn't always get what she wants , but that doesn't mean she'd just sit back and do nothing about it . not when darius is right here , and all she could think about is how she could possibly turn back time so they would still be together —— she knows it's a little too late for that right now , but still , camille likes to believe she would've done the right thing if she was given the chance . after all you never know what you got until it's gone , right ?
his answer isn't what she hopes for , and even when he's trying to be nice about it , camille thinks he's just fucking with her right now . “ so you don't believe it , ” she remarks , feels another tear fall down her cheek . camille knows she should just bite her tongue , should just suck it up for now and gives him more time to think , but she doesn't really has any patience for that . all that she's hearing now is that darius no longer wants to be friends with her , and as much as she deserves it , it makes her more upset than anything else . god , she could feel her whole body trembling at this moment . “ why though ? ” she repeats , hands curling into ball of fists on her side . did he know that she went back to julien while he was away ? then again , it's not like they're keeping it a secret this time , she wouldn't be surprised if he knew .
“ because i don't love him , that's why . ” she breathes , “ he means nothing to me , darius . he's just some guy i fuck around with , that's all . ” and it's the truth , but it's hard to believe her words when everyone knows she's been spotted around julien grimaldi often enough that it would be ridiculous to assume otherwise , even if most of the time it's just them arguing in the middle of the street . things have always been so complicated between them anyways . “ i just didn't know what to do when you left me , ” she knows she shouldn't go back to julien though , given their history , and yet that's what she fucking did . “ well , it's true that i did go back to him , but we're already broken up at the time , so it doesn't really matter now , does it ? and please , if you don't think we'd ever be friends anymore , just fucking say it . ” it's easier for me to let you go that way .
camille sure knows how to lean into the dramatics. maybe it wasn't always a conscious decision but she drags the hurt out in the exact way he dreaded when he recognized her. “ you're in no position to make any demands from me. ” it's not meant to be a challenge but maybe his tone makes it that way. it's not like he'd be any less callous. they way she handled them built up so much resentment in himself. he's not sure where to put that hurt down. people like camille don't change overnight. the year that he was away was not enough for anything grand to take place. he thinks that maybe it's a little bit of his own fault for playing into her behavior when they were together. he did what she wanted, found ways to do it before she even asked. from where he was standing, it was princess behavior. some people don't really grow up. though it's not like he was very grown himself. “ i want to believe that at some point we could be friends again but that's all i can say for now. ” that's the thing about knowing someone so well. he's sure he's had that thought a million times over tonight. he knew her too well and it was difficult to see them at odds. she really would stand outside all night for an answer from him (they're both so stubborn). he eyes her up and down with a look of pity. julien grimaldi didn't seem to cut it for her but that was never darius' problem. “ why though? where's your white boy? ”
see , camille would have agreed to his plan in a heartbeat , if only he hadn't mentioned her ex or implied that this had anything to do with his return to new york . that was his first mistake , to think that she would ever want to hurt darius ( she never meant to , even if her actions sometimes suggest otherwise , especially with julien involved . ) and comes julien's second mistake , to think that she has some sort of loyalty towards him —— what a fucking joke . it makes her want to laugh , but instead she settles with a coy smile as she looks up at him . “ oh , julien , ” she drawls . “ you out of all people should've known better that i have no fucking sense of loyalty . ” it's self - deprecating , but it also means ' my loyalty absolutely does not lies with you . ' hell , at this point camille is probably only loyal to herself and nobody else . “ i don't know what kind of message you're trying to send here , but i'm not doing this shit . here's what i'm proposing : just you and i , why don't we just stay the fuck away from each other ? ” for the record , this is not the first time she has said that to julien , but somehow there is a hint of seriousness in her tone this time . “ and if it's true that darius is actually back from hiding , then maybe i don't fucking need you anymore . ”
julien has this … claim … over camille . and it’s wrong . god , it’s all sorts of wrong . but he charmed her away from her ex once , didn’t he ? so why wouldn’t he think he could do it again ? “ so , i hear darius has emerged from his … comment dit - on ? ah , yes , hiding place , ” mumbles , lips ghosting her neck , barely touching , breath warm on her skin . he’s so damn confident , so very sure , as fingers tilt her chin up , up to meet his gaze . “ to that , i propose a night out . just you and i . oh , and a horde of paparazzi , of course . think of the message that’ll send , hmm ? it’ll paint such a vivid picture of where your loyalties truly lie . ” // @salvateure
“ i mean , of course , you can't just show up to a fucking carnival and not attempt one of those games . and sure , maybe it's all a scam , but i could care less about that if there's a chance i could bring a life - sized teddy bear home , even if it's like by 0.1 percent . ” now camille knows she has more than enough to afford one ( hell , she could even afford more than one if she wants to ) but where's the fun in that ? “ usually i just go for the one with the best grand prize and call it a day , although i wouldn't be opposed to trying them all just for fun . either way i'm getting that giant teddy bear . ”
* 𝗢𝗣𝗘𝗡 𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗥𝗧𝗘𝗥 ›› @nepofmstarters * 𝗙𝗘𝗔𝗧𝗨𝗥𝗜𝗡𝗚 ›› dahlia & your muse * 𝗟𝗢𝗖𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡 ›› coney island , brooklyn * 𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗡𝗧 ›› valentine's day carnival
“ are you gonna attempt any of the carnival games ? or do you think it’s all a scam so there’s no point in trying to win a prize ? because i’m pretty sure there’s a trick to winning all of them . ”
“ well , i'm in my bad guy era , remember ? of course i'm gonna twist your words , ” she lets out a laugh , fighting the urge to roll her eyes at his following words , “ okay , that absolutely has nothing to do with me not moving past my fangirl phase . ” their first meeting still makes her a little giddy every time she thinks about it , so maybe he's not all wrong about it either . “ i mean , how could i get over you ? nobody has ever serenaded me before and you made me one less lonely girl . . . that shit is kinda hard to forget , you know , ” she teases , only to break into a fit of giggles soon after . “ i thought a while ago you're flattered that i called you a natural , why are you so offended now ? damn it , logan , pick a fuckin' side . ” mirrors the look on his face , “ yeah sure , let's get us some ‘42 so we can feel like hot shit too —— oh wait , my bad . we're already hot shit now , aren't we ? ”
" don't twist my words ! " his exclamation is accompanied by a laugh — that's not at all what he'd MEANT , but she'd got him good . " oh , a natural , huh ? you flatter me ... thought you moved past that FANGIRL phase . good to know i've still got it . " hand rests over his heart , shooting a playful little smirk — and WINK — her way . hey , if she gets to tease him , then it's only fair that he gets to dish it right back ! it's all done lightheartedly , evidenced by the smile adorning his features . " you're ANNOYING . " he says it with love , " look , if this is your way of subversively telling me i'm being a dick , i've got the message loud and clear — but you can't say i'm not right . " he gives cami a look , " let's go get some '42 for ourselves . maybe your friend actually has a POINT . "
“ honestly , no truer words have been spoken . i'm always a sucker for mini skirts , but like you said , we don't wanna be scandalous and not - so - accidentally flash our asses to the entire alley . . . well , not today . ” it's definitely something that camille would do on purpose . anything to get people talking about her , but with aria around she's ought to put on her best behavior at the moment —— unless aria is down for a little misbehaving , of course . “ i know right ? did anyone really not think about it at all ? that's so crazy to me , like come on , people . it's 2024 , let us have some cute bowling shoes for once and all ! but for real , that better happens before this year ends or else i'm super convinced that they all hate bowling . ” shakes head at the thought , but instantly nods at aria's question . “ sure , we can totally go grab dinner after that . i really don't mind whenever so i'll leave that one to you , babe . ” she's never been picky when it comes to these things , and it's only fair to have aria decide on their dinner place since she already suggested for them to go bowling . “ the only thing i'm worried about is the power that we hold when we're together , i bet it'd be too much for them to handle , ” a pause for dramatic effect , and camille breaks into laughter at her own words . “ other than that , i got nothing to worry about for sure . but really , who cares ? paparazzi should be fucking banned at this point but they're not , so we might as well just do whatever the fuck we want , am i right ? ” paparazzi might be brutal , but they are the least of her worries right now .
" that's exactly what i was thinking ! oh fuck it i'll just wear the boots , in a perfect world i'd wear a miniskirt but i don't really like the idea of me bending over to roll the ball and flashing my ass to the entire alley , " it's a sacrifice she has to make to maintain at least some decency . " honestly now that you mention it , i'm kinda shocked none of the big names have gotten on that ⸻ nike or something really needs to get on that , i can't believe they've made fucking pickleball shoes before bowling ones , " there's a story somewhere in there , she thinks , tucking that thought away in her mental file cabinet as she pulls her current shirt over her head and tosses it to the side of her closet . " are we just going bowling or do you wanna go grab dinner or something ? there's a few places i've been wanting to try but i'm honestly not opposed to just roaming around until we find somewhere that looks good . . . but only if you're not too worried about like , paparazzi , i've heard they've been on the fucking prowl in soho recently , " she says , pulling on her shirt and disappearing around the corner to hangers sliding against the metal rods as she flicks through her rack of skirts .
“ okay , i've never been peer pressured into eating glue before nor had i ever peer pressured anyone into doing so —— who the fuck would peer pressure somebody into eating glue anyways ? that's just fucking bizarre . and sure , you might say you're fine right now , but isn't that still dangerous ? like are you sure you're not just gaslighting yourself into thinking that eating glue is fine ? we should probably get you checked or something . ” maybe camille just got lucky she didn't have much peer pressure growing up , and she would like to believe that she could very much stand up for herself and say no to doing things that she shouldn't be doing ( re : eating glue ) but maybe kids tend to be more relentless and it's easier to give in to peer pressure when you're younger . with a tilt of her head , camille gives the other an eye roll before saying , “ all i'm hearing right now is excuses , babe . i don't know who the fuck dragonrider420 or whatever that thing is , but if you're too scared to do this you can just say so . i'm not gonna peer pressure you into it . ” camille has never been the ultimate peer pressurer after all , even if she might seem like she is . “ if anything you were the one trying to poison me with your glue - infused drink , ” she teases , followed by a laugh . “ you can just put it on my tab and throw it out so we can both stay alive , by the way . i promise i won't snitch on you . ”
with phoebe crane, whose mouth is silently constructing eloquent aspersions of the decidedly un-babe-like kind, there is no calm before the storm. there is only the rambling tornado that sends limbs flying into a sign language with no signal for stop, that breaks the fujita scale into the components of a virgin mojito. curse her for thinking camille would understand. then again, if camille couldn’t get behind the extremely real feminist movement of turning fungal overgrowth into a fashion statement, there was no way she’d get the glue-eater tag trending without some real persuasion. if she almost knocks the shot glass over while presenting her case, it’s a happy coincidence that only highlights the passion with which she defends her life and its questionable continuation. ‘ i didn’t do it on purpose! either the wrong-alcohol-putting-inning or the glue eating. you know what peer pressure is, right? i mean, i guess you’re basically the ultimate peer pressurer, but that just means you have a civil duty to drink glue with me whenever you’re done with whatever you’re dressed up for, ‘ she says, scrawling a jumble of digits and decimal points onto the counter with the chipped tip of her fingernail in an attempt to calculate ninety-nine per cent of one hundred. her concentration is broken by the other’s dalliance with negotiation, which phoebe replies to with a grin that’s all incisors. incisors that are also covered in the shiny, fake flavour of expired lip balm. ‘ uh, we’re out of straws. save the turtles, y’know. also, god is a woman, and i dmed her about this whole sitch and she said that i cannot leave my campaigns to the grubby hands of dragonrider420. ‘ in one swift motion that suggests ample history with health inspectors, she brings out a photo of her favourite npc thus far – a grotesque goblin kid with pupils shaped like daggers. ‘ do you really wanna condemn this adorable baby to eternal oblivion? ‘
“ first of all , that's so rude . second of all , which part of this screams we're staying in for you ? ” hands gestured randomly over her outfit , an offended look washes over her face . “ i was feeling cute and shit and now i don't even know anymore . well , at least i'm dressed for the part , ” she blurts out , motioning towards aria . “ i distinctly remember telling you to wear something cute because we're gonna go bowling . . . i guess you didn't hear that one . ”
“ um . . . i thought you said we were going out tonight , “ she gives [ name ] a quick scan with her eyes , one of them clearly must have misinterpreted the dress code for tonight’s plans . “ when you said out i thought you meant like to dinner or to the club or something , not out of the bed and onto the couch . . . “ ( @nepofmstarters )