⚠️ Warning There Is Some Violence In This So If You’re Not Comfortable Please Don’t Read.

I don't know when I'll have the time to write this, but:

CW: Minor Mentions of Blood, Character Illness (Hanahaki), Use of Queer as a Slur

Hanahaki AU. Steve develops hanahaki over Eddie. It's not because, oh, Eddie's probably straight and doesn't know I'm into guys...

No, it's because, oh, Eddie doesn't want to be very close to me due to previous hangups he has.

Cut to Steve coughing up dark purple, almost black petals. Soft and wet and sticky to his fingers. Then, after some time, they become small buds. Small black rose buds with gentle, prickly thorns sprouting in his throat.

People around them find out quickly, very quickly, that Steve is experiencing Hanahaki. Everybody, sans Eddie himself, finds out they're related to Eddie—even as these black roses symbolize hatred, even as they come close to death and mourning in their meaning—they're still perfectly Eddie in color, shape, and beauty. Obviously, since nobody wants Steve to, y'know, die, they tell him to confess to Eddie.

However, Steve is faced with a secondary option at one of his doctor visits. A surgery. The petals can be removed, the thorns torn out and tossed, his lungs cleared...but his brain shocked empty of all traces of Eddie. All traces. He wouldn't know Eddie as he is now. He wouldn't know Eddie from when Dustin would ramble on and on and on about his new guy best friend. He wouldn't know Eddie as the mischievous troublemaker in high school.

And he especially wouldn't know Eddie as his childhood best friend that he drifted apart from many, many years ago. Nobody but them knows that part.

And soon, through decision, through the fear of death...Steve chooses to forget that part, too. He chooses to remove Eddie from his conscious. Every last part of him. With the decision made, the party members keep Eddie away, Robin goes through Steve's room and hides anything he has of Eddie's—including a little memory box of their childhood photographs, little trinkets he'd receive from Eddie, doodles and crushed flowers...crushed flowers that look similar to the ones Steve coughed up with a note attached to them: "For the prince to my prince. Mama said they're for royal people, and I thought they were beautiful. These are for you, because you're beautiful, too."

Steve kept all of it. Tucked neatly away for nobody but him to see. All these delicate, baby confessions of two queer kids in rural America, waiting for the right moment; though never getting that after a fall out in their relationship.

According to Eddie, the two drifted away due to rhetoric Steve's dad was spouting; rhetoric that was being passed on and spat right at Eddie's face from Steve's mouth. Even if he saw Steve change during and after Vecna, he'll always remember the last big fight in their friendship; the day he was called a queer.

When Eddie finds out, he's beyond devastated that Steve would make the choice to forget him. He gets it, Steve didn't want to die. He knows. But now he doesn't even have a spot in Steve's life? It cuts deep, it hurts.

He knows so much about Steve. Little details. Favorite things. Where his moles are. How he styles his hair. What he looked like before braces, before Tommy, before high school bullshit, before all the traumas. He knows who Steve really is, sweet and nurturing and nearly unbearably kind.

And now Steve doesn't know him. Doesn't love him.

He wishes he knew, because then they wouldn't be in this mess.

But Eddie gets to fall in love with Steve all over again. Shake his hand and introduce himself. Even though he wishes they could meet each other as kids, just like they did. Because Eddie remembers a dorky, geeky, self-conscious, timid little kid quietly asking him if they could play princes on the playground. And Steve remembers Eddie at twenty-one, full grown and stubborn; not the same shy kid, not the bubbly kid...just a man haunted.

But! Plot twist!!!

What if, yeah, Steve does forget Eddie...initially?

He meets Eddie again, for the first time. He gets to know Eddie. He begins a friendship with Eddie.

And then he begins getting these awful...awful migraines being around Eddie. Flashes of fractured, half-formed memories of some kid with big brown eyes and a shaved head, of a kid crouched down in wood chips trying to find a guitar pick he had dropped. Little glimpses of smiles: some with teeth missing, some with teeth growing back in, some with blood-stained lips, some with a blue tint. There's splintering voices, a little boy's and an older man's and a squeaky, pubescent voice—he hears his own name crackled around the edges, hears Prince Stevie cooed and King Steve snarled, soft words whispered through choking sobs and whip wild yelling.

He looks Eddie straight on at one point, his face open with concern, but all he sees is an angry, sobbing, red-faced, wet-faced little Eddie talking with Steve, "You think I'm...I'm a dirty queer? Why would you say that to me? No...no, Steve, keep your voice down, keep your voice"—and then, quieter, a whisper—"I thought I could trust you. I know I like boys, but that was a secret. You're an asshole, Steve. Go fuck yourself."

And when he blinks again, Eddie's concerned face staring back at him, all Steve does is cough and cough and cough. Eventually, he's hunched tight into himself and spitting directly into Eddie's palm. Out comes a fully formed black rose.

A bud that hadn't bloomed, that hadn't been removed. Sharp thorns and wet petals and an eye that swirls and swirls and swirls.

It all comes back to him, then, staring at that flower, floundering backwards, catching Eddie's eyes in a daze.

It all comes back to him.

How much he's always loved Eddie Munson.

Anyway, just like, a hanahaki surgery gone wrong, I guess. Like they all think it works until, y'know, it doesn't. They get close again and it floods back in. The very thing he tried to get away from.

I imagine that after Steve coughs up that fully formed rose, Eddie squishes it in his palm. The thorns cutting up his hand, the petals crushed between his fingers. And then he just...eats it. Like fully puts it on his tongue, chews it up between his teeth, and swallows the whole damn thing—yes, even the thorns. There's blood in his mouth, petals between his teeth, blood and drool on his hand.

And he lunges forward to grab Steve's face, to kiss him so roughly they could be devouring each other. And all they taste in each other are the bittersweet ghosts of black rose petals and the metallic harshness of one another's blood; Steve had hacked up blood, too, from the thorns cutting his throat.

And when they separate?

"You were the first boy I ever fell in love with," Eddie confesses, "you're the only boy I've ever loved. There's been nobody else in that place, Steve. Only you, after everything, have remained."

Okay. Now I'm done. I promise I'm done rambling. Would this be interesting as a fic? I don't know. It's fine.

Writers should NOT feel guilty about:

Skipping a day of writing.

Not having a perfect first draft.

Partaking in sinister, arcane rituals for inspiration.

Working at their own pace.

Enlisting demons and/or helpful spirits to aid them with editing.

Mistake P2

TW: Angst, internalised homophobia, homophobia

Steve is scared. For two days. He's felt fear like this before. When Tommy had given him a funny look for looking at a skirt too long, or for not wanting to use fag, or for when Steve leant on him too long.

or around his dad.

He hated the way his belly churned, how his brain wouldn't stop coming up with different scenarios. The upside down was less scary than this. Robin called round once, but he didn't want her to see him, bleeding noes and hiding in fear.

He didn't want her to know.

It would ruin everything, their friendship.

He'd probably ruined it already, by being so stupid, by not thinking before he acted. Maybe if he had thought about it more, he would have seen that kissing Eddie Munson was not the best idea.

Steve curled tighter in his bed.

He thought….

He'd just thought. They were so close. Eddie liked to cuddle, Eddie touched him, so much more than Tommy ever did. Eddie was accepting of the weird and the wonderful.

Of Robin.

Steve sobbed. But not him. Not the kiss. Not them.

He cried.

Cried and cried until he had nothing left, until his face felt dry and his throat hoarse.

Then he got up. He got up and he washed his face, he put the peas from the freezer on his nose and he locked away his heart. It was fine. He would be fine.

Like he always was.

Robin hunted him down the day after, a million and one questions about his nose, but he just told her he walked into the door. Steve didn't want his stupid impulsive action to ruin what they all had, after all Dustin's birthday was tomorrow and he had to be fine.

He was fine.

He and Eddie looked at each other over the crowd at Dustin's, eyes catching one another. Steve feels his heart rate go up, but Dustin is pulling him away, dragging him over to something and he can breathe again.

He could breathe.

As long as he avoided Eddie. He could do that.

It was almost impossible in the small house, but Steve was good at mingling, good at talking to people and as long as he was talking to…

"Hey kid, was lookin' for ya. Got that repair kit you were looking for,"

Wayne. Fuck. Wayne.

Steve's shaking. He doesn't realise it till Wayne's looking at him funny. He liked Wayne, kind man, always talking to him about fixing stuff up, baseball.

He'd thought…

Steve doesn't know what he thought. He'd told Wayne, in the quiet of the night after a game they'd watched.

How he'd always felt a bit different, how he never felt like he fit in any one box and Wayne had said he'd understood. That sometimes love took different forms. That he was glad that he and Eddie had grown close, hasn't seen Eddie look at anyone the way he looks at Steve.

That Steve wasn't alone.

Because someone different had once meant something to Wayne, meant the world to Wayne even though it didn't mean nothing to society.

"Y-yeah. Ill come get it some time Wayne, thanks,"

"Nothing to it kid, you okay? Ya nose is kinda blue,"

Steve twitches, "Nah, it's fine, just walked into a door,"

"Steve,"

Steve whips around so fast he sends the tray of sandwhiches behind him flying. His back is pressed against the wall, body in flight before h can even think about it.

The room is silent.

All he can see are Eddie's eyes. Those big eyes staring back at him. Fear mirrored inside them.

Fear. Why would there be fear, Eddie's not the one who got punched in the face. Steve feels a sudden surge of anger churn his belly.

He needs to leave. Needs to get out of there.

"I have to- I have to go, Dustin sorry," he mumbles as he stumbles out of the house.

Away from the questions.

Away from Eddie.

"Steve wait!"

Steve doesn't.

"Steve please,"

"It's fine. I'm fine. Just let me go. I need to go. I can't. I can't do this right now Eddie. I'm sorry. I'll just.. i'll leave. thanks for not saying anything I guess,"

"Steve no. I- no. I'm saying sorry. I shouldn't have hit you. Even if you're queer."

Steve doesn't know how many times he'll flinch that day. He stares at Eddie who now that he's actually looking at him, looks a mess.

"Even if? Are you fucking serious?"

"No I meant-

"What the fuck?"

They both turn to see Dustin, who's staring at them with huge eyes. Steve's fear returns, a cold icicle in his belly. Fuck. Dustin. Fuck.

But Dustin isn't looking at him. He's looking at Eddie.

"You hit Steve?" Dustin repeats.

"No- "It's not-

"That's what you said. That's what you just said. You hit Steve for being queer,"

Eddie's mouth flaps helplessly.

"Get out. Get the fuck out of my party,"

"Dusty, no, it's fine. It's not like that," Steve tries, doesn't want this to draw a rift any further.

"How else is it Steve? What the fuck else would he mean?" Dustin says, Steve's never heard him so cold. "That's not fucking cool Eddie. I thought you were cool. But you're just another bully,"

Eddie runs.

And Steve watches.

and Wayne curses.

Here <- Previous Part | Next Part -> Here

--- Authors Note: this will have a good ending! I'm just trying to dig into that feeling of messed up emotions from being told one thing your life and not processing it properly. Please don't hate Eddie to much, he's going through it.

I can't see straight, 10 seconds past 5 o'clock

Summary:

But then, he sees the beautiful strawberry scented lipstick and could clearly picture his boyfriend kissing him not so long ago with this flavor attached to his delicious lips. His mind wanders down the "Sex with Eddie" avenue of his brain, as he remembers the first time he saw him with lipstick on. OR : Steve tries make-up thinking Eddie is at rehearsal.

You can read it here, i really hope you'll like it ! ♥

Robin fully thinks that Dustin is a dog that was sent to obedience school and not a human child that went to summer camp because Steve talks about him like:

Steve, sighing wistfully: I just miss the little guy, you know?

Robin: ?

Steve, right after servicing ice cream to a guy: That’s my mailman. Dustin fuckin’ hates that guy. Goes crazy when he sees him.

Steve: *does not elaborate on Dustin’s long standing feud with the postal service*

Steve: My parents are actually kinda happy that’s he’s gone. They think he’s loud.

Robin, thinking of her neighbor’s dog: Yeah, they’re like that.

Steve: And the jumping, they hate that.

Steve: - bunch of chocolate. Got an upset stomach and threw up.

Robin: They can’t have chocolate.

Steve: Yeah, I know. He’ll throw up!

Steve: Dustin’s coming back next week. I think I’m going to get him a welcome back gift. Got any ideas?

Robin: Something that squeaks?

Boy, walking up to the counter: Hi

Robin: Hi

Boy: I’m Dustin

Robin, internally: *no one can ever know any of my thoughts ever*

i so badly want one of those fic examinations of steve's relationship with joyce and hopper but solely through eddie's pov like hear me out

steve and eddie chat a lot in the upside down (and later in the hospital, when they learn hop is alive). steve has taken charge of filling eddie in on the rest of their of-age crew without the kids butting in. he never mentions his own parents, but he talks about the rest of the party's a lot, especially joyce and hopper. eddie knows what it's like to desperately want someone to be your parent and trying to hide it from his own childhood, when he would try to be cool about wayne dropping him off at his dad's house. steve obviously adores joyce and hopper, thinks the world of them and legitimately looks up to them.

eddie isn't sure what he expects from a cop who came back to life and the world's most determined housewife, but he's excited to meet them as someone steve loves.

cue eddie's horror when he realizes that neither of them really feel much for steve rather than annoyance and vague distrust. that joyce trusts will with eddie, an accused murderer, in a heartbeat and still hesitates to leave him with steve. that hopper brushes off every ounce of steve's hero worship and joy.

he tries to broach the topic with steve, gently, and is heartbroken when steve genuinely has no idea what he's talking about. and not because he's oblivious, but because steve thinks that's what he deserves. he thinks that's the parental love that someone who was an asshole in high school needs, because that's what would make him a good person. he needs people to call him out constantly, obviously, because why else would they keep doing it? why would nancy? at least they're here. at least they're not ignoring him. at least they're not forcing him into a box. they just want him to be better.

like, this is the man who thanked a girl for calling him bullshit and telling him she never loved him. he doesn't Know that's not how you're supposed to handle things. no one ever taught him that.

and now eddie's gotta figure out how he can teach steve how to be loved the right way without outing himself and his huge crush on his love-starved dork of a friend.

You ever been in a state where you physically have no energy, but you're bored and socially understimulated so you kind of wish you could just invite people to come over like this:

Is there a fic out there when after season 4 Steve doesn't trust/react well to Joyce and Hopper? I just think that him being the oldest and real adult left in Hawkins to deal with and protect the kids would mess him up a bit.

Like, I understand Joyce left because she wanted to protect her blood children and El, but none of the other parents are read in on the situation. She left the rest of the kids after another super traumatic experience where multiple people they knew and cared about died and only Steve, Nancy, and Robin could support them. Not to knock Nancy and Robin, but the show doesn't show them supporting the kids the way Steve does, so it all ended up on his shoulders.

Add in the fact Joyce up and abandons her kids when she learns about Hopper being alive, and then even more terrible things happen, and I feel like Steve would not trust the adults anymore and truly resist ans get upset when they try to parent him or take care of *his* kids.

So I'd anyone has fic recs or wants to write one... let me know...

WIP Weekend WIP Snip Share!

Didn't have time to do any WIP games this weekend, but here's a bit I've written for my Steddie (-Jonathan) fic. Because I thought, "huh, you know what this steddie angst fic needs? A Stobin fight."

Enjoy (or... you know)

~~~

Context: As Robin finally convinced Steve to tell Eddie how he feels, they're shocked when they go back to the party and find Jonathan and Eddie making out on the couch.

“Everyone’s gone home,” Robin consoles, tone grating against his skin. He doesn’t need her pity, or anyone else’s. Besides, Steve wouldn’t even be in this mess if it wasn’t for her. Meddling in his love life has never worked out for Steve in the past, and he doesn’t understand why he convinced himself it would be different this time just because it was Robin.

Because why would anyone, let alone someone like Eddie, be interested in dating Steve Harrington, King of Assholes and Jocks. Compared to someone like Jonathan, someone who is so clearly a better match for Eddie, Steve brings nothing to the table.

He laments himself for believing anything she ever said about how Eddie apparently looks at him when his head’s turned, or how he always goes out of his way to make Steve laugh. None of it was real. It was all just lies. Bullshit.

“Then why are you still here?” It’s colder than he meant. Steve can already feel the crown sliding back into place. It’s sickening how much he misses it, an old, awful comfort he worked so hard to shed. And yet, it feels so fucking good to wear it again. 

If only it wasn’t Robin.

Heavy silence weighs against him. It’s not the response he expected. People always have a reaction when they meet King Steve– whether it’s disdain from the kids he tormented, pride from his asshole friends, or disappointment from people like Nancy. 

Steve still hasn’t turned around, his back to the door Robin had come through to find him. The inability to read her eats at his nerves. He denies the sharp urge to look at her– to consume and study every twitch of her mouth, every crinkle of her eyes– to know what she’s thinking right now. But that would mean giving her the same opportunity which is something Steve can absolutely not allow her.

The crown is a cold comfort if yet still a bit ill fitting. It’s been too long since Steve’s had to wield it as a sword and shield to fend off the people closest to him. He’s forgotten how. It wobbles on his head no matter how hard he clings to it. The heat of shame still stings behind his eyes. Steve hates it. So he clings to the anger, if he can’t cling to anything else.

He’s ripped from his seething by a firm hand on his shoulder. Robin’s next to him now, appearing almost out of nowhere. Steve wonders how long the silence lingered, if she said anything to him as he was stuck in the swirl of ruminating thoughts.

“Steve, look at me.”

Brushing her hand off his shoulder, Steve storms across the kitchen. She can’t look at him, she can’t see him. He can’t talk to her with all the shit clogging his throat. It’s all bubbling up inside him, the way it always does, thoughts and feelings he can’t name or pin down long enough to examine, not that he’d ever want to in the first place. Robin needs to leave before it bursts from him like a monster crawling through a hole in the ceiling, ready to hurt anyone in its path. Like a stupid, bigoted boy willing to throw a punch in an alleyway.

“Get the fuck out of my house.”

Sad Steddie Scenario Part 4

Hiiiiiiiii. Here is the THING I mentioned I had for today. Part 5 should be out later this week (please help me manifest) I've got most of it written. Quick summary since it's been so long - After a disastrous "meet the friends" night with the Hellfire guys, Eddie says some unintentionally cruel things, then decides he and Steve are too different and breaks things off.

CW: a couple of mentions of child abuse

Part One, Part Two, Part Three

____________________________

Steve doesn’t remember much about the week after Eddie breaks up with him. He starts each day with unnamed misery filling his chest, black and viscous. For the first few seconds between sleep and wakefulness, he’s overwhelmed, unable to identify its source. Just as it finally clicks, why he feels like tar is oozing through his body, why he can’t take a full breath, his dad knocks a solid fist onto his door. He’s always had a sixth sense of when Steve is awake and “lollygagging” in bed. He never waits for an answer to his knock, just sticks his head in and says, “Move your ass, Steve. Now.” He doesn’t shut the door again as he leaves, and he doesn’t wait to see if Steve listens to him because there’s never a question in his mind that Steve will.

And every morning, Steve gets up, pushes the misery aside. Never away. It coats his bones and drags him down and doesn’t leave, but it’s paired with a nervy buzzing, an anxious hum that roars through his head whenever his parents are around.

They like him to be present when they’re home. He’s been able to get out of the couple of dinner parties they’ve attended the past few days through sheer luck of being scheduled to close at work, but when they’re not out, they expect him in their eye line at all times. “We never get to see you, Steve,” his mom says one night at dinner, with zero trace of irony. “Is it too much to ask that you not hide away in your room while we’re here? We’ve been visiting all the old crowd. They’ve all asked where you were.”

“If you’re not going to spend time with us,” his dad chimes in, waving a third glass of tequila and soda around haphazardly, “you need to be out pounding pavement trying to find a job. A real job.”

“He’s right, dear. Do you know how embarrassing it was for me to tell LeAnn Perkins, of all people, that you were still at that awful video store? Her daughter is off to Ball State in September. Imagine being embarrassed by someone whose daughter is going to Ball State. Is this what you want for your mother?”

Steve’s pretty sure Ball State is a fine school, one that only a year ago his parents were encouraging him to apply to. He twirls his pasta around his fork and stays quiet.

“Hey!” Steve hears the smack land across the back of his head more than he feels it. “Are you paying attention?”

“Yes, sir.” He keeps his hands still, his eyes on his plate.

“Because you look like you’re bored, Steve. Is your mother boring you?”

“No, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize to me. Apologize to your mother.” Steve angles toward his mom, raises his eyes to her forehead instead of making direct contact.

“I’m sorry, Mom. I’m just tired.”

“From what?”

Steve barely holds in a sigh. And so it goes their entire visit.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The kids know he’s not as available when his parents visit. They think it’s because Steve never gets to see them so he wants to spend time with them - or at least, Steve hopes that’s what they think - and he’s glad of the excuse to keep contact to a minimum. He doesn’t need them asking questions. As it is, the couple of times he does see them—because they all drop by the store at least once—he can tell they know something is up. Mike’s clearly making an effort to be less annoying than normal, Max’s eyes bore holes into him from behind her new Coke bottle glasses, and Dustin tries to corner him while Robin rings Mrs. Henderson up. But Steve does his best to deflect them and is mostly successful.

Robin is harder to evade. She oscillates between encouraging him to talk to Eddie, figure out where everything went wrong, and raging to him that he doesn’t ever need to see Eddie again if he doesn’t want to and she’ll personally ban him from Family Video for life if Steve wants her to. Steve gives her a lot of “can we please stop talking about this?” and “We’re just cooling off, I’ll talk to him soon,” because every time he tries to tell her, the words refuse to leave his mouth. As soon as he tells her they’re over, it’s 100% real, and he can’t bear it.

So he spends the week exhausted, his body cycling through moments of heavy sadness and tense anxiety. Thankfully, his parents leave Wednesday afternoon. Steve doesn’t realize they’re heading out until his mom calls him downstairs to see them off. She takes the opportunity to tell Steve again how disappointed she is in what he’s doing with his life, how embarrassing the entire visit has been for them having to explain to their friends what he’s up to. His dad calls him lazy and a waste of potential.

Sometimes when they talk at him like this, Steve zones out. The buzzing that’s in his head gets so loud he can’t hear what they’re saying. He feels outside his body, loses time. Sometimes he doesn’t come back to himself for an hour or more. This time, he’s pretty sure he’s only lost a few minutes. His parents are gone. He’s curled up on the bathroom floor with no memory of how he got there. He’s clutching the cordless phone, partway through dialing a number from muscle memory, but then he remembers it’s one he’s no longer free to use. He presses the button to end the call lightning quick and tosses the phone far away from him.

It was stupid to think about calling Eddie anyway. Steve’s never told him about his parents, except to say they’re assholes. Never wanted to spoil the time they had together with his poor little rich kid sob story. After they got together, things were so good. Steve was happier than he can ever remember being. The Upside Down shit was over, Robin was planning to take a gap year so she could work and save money, so Steve didn’t have to worry about her leaving just yet. The kids were loud and thriving without the threat of the apocalypse weighing them down. And every time he was with Eddie was so…so perfect, he thought.

Fucking stupid.

He thinks about calling Robin. Whenever he calls her after he has to deal with his parents, she talks and talks and talks, leaving no room for anything in his mind except whatever ridiculous thing she decides to say. She saves all her most ridiculous thoughts for these moments and he loves her so much for it. But it’s not her he wants to talk to.

In the end, he doesn’t have to call anyone. As soon as he finds the strength to get off the floor, there’s a pounding at his front door and a very insistent Dustin Henderson calling out to him to “open up or so help me God—”

“All right, all right!” Steve barely gets the doorknob turned before the kid bursts inside, completely ignoring Steve’s wipe your feet, asshole! as as he blows past him, headed for the kitchen.

“Get in here, Harrington! You owe me a float.”

Steve shakes his head and follows. This might as well happen.

“What for?”

“Uh, what for?” Dustin slides onto a bar stool at the counter and Steve starts assembling the floats. “How about for not answering your walkie? How about for completely ignoring me when my mom and I came to the store the other day? How about for—”

“Do you want a cherry on top?” Steve asks, interrupting Dustin before he can rile himself up more.

“Obviously I want a goddamn cherry, Steve.” Steve pulls out the cherries. He puts the finishing touches on the float and hands one to Dustin, rounding the counter to sit next to him. They spend the next few minutes in blissful silence as they eat. The sugar perks Steve up like nothing has all week and by the time he’s done, he’s feeling almost optimistic. Then Dustin speaks.

“So are we gonna talk about it?” He drums his fingers on his float glass, eyeing Steve pointedly.

Steve sighs. “Talk about what?” Maybe if he plays dumb for long enough, Dustin will get tired and leave him alone.

That could totally happen.

“Why you were crying in the car. Why you’ve been moping around for the past week. Why Eddie hasn’t been returning my calls.”

Steve’s eyes cut to Dustin. “Eddie hasn’t been returning your calls?”

“Or answering the door when I go over, so someone better tell me what the shit is going on or I’m going to have El torture it out of you.”

“Okay, whoa. First off, El would never do that. Second off, you know I was actually tortured, right? You remember that? Not cool, dude.”

“Yeah, I remember that, and you folded like a cheap suit, gave the Russians my full name. So I already know you’re susceptible.”

“They gave me a truth serum!”

“Excuses, Steve. Excuses.” Dustin fixes him with an expectant stare. “So. Why were you crying in the car?”

“I told you it was allergies.”

“Do I look like an idiot?”

Steve tilts his hand from side to side. “Ennnhh.”

“Don’t answer that. I’m going to ask again. Why. Were. You. Crying.” He punctuates each word with a sharp poke to Steve’s chest.

“Jesus, dude! It was allergies! I wasn’t crying.” Steve swats him away and stands up, desperate for some space. But he doesn’t go far, leans on the wall across from the counter. He doesn’t want to talk about this, but maybe he needs to. Robin accuses him of wallowing, shutting himself off when he’s upset. She says it only makes it worse.

Dustin stands up with him, crosses his arms over his chest. “Steve. Are you trying to teach me it’s not okay for boys to cry? Is that the idea of masculinity you want me to have?”

“Oh my god, you’re going to get me in so much trouble.” “Fine. Me and Eddie broke up, okay?”

“What, when you came to pick us up?”

“Yeah.”

“What the fuck, Steve?”

“That’s what I said!”

“What did you do?”

“Okay, asshole. I didn’t do shit.” He bangs the back of his head lightly against the wall in frustration. “Or I may have done shit, I don’t know. Robin and I tried to figure it out, but we couldn’t.”

“So why don’t you tell me what happened? I’m the smartest person you know. I can help way better than Robin.”

“I don’t know, man. Feels wrong to talk to you about it with you.”

“I talk to you about my problems with Suzie! Why can’t you talk to me about your problems with Eddie?”

“I don’t know, it’s just different! I don’t know Suzie. You know Eddie. Feels like I’m gossiping behind his back or something.”

“Who else are you going to talk to then? Everyone you know hangs out with Eddie. Including Robin.” Dustin’s voice goes soft. “Come on, man. Let me help. You’re always helping me. I’ve been in a relationship for a whole year. Suzie and I are very happy. I know things!”

“I know you do, Henderson. But I don’t think I can talk about it right now. I’m really…I’m just really fucking sad.” That’s it. Steve’s really fucking sad. It feels stupid to be this sad with all they’ve been through. Selfish, indulgent. But three weeks ago he’d spent his days listening to his boyfriend jam out in his car, or watching him bounce around his room while he tried to explain a fantasy game, or cuddling up next to him in bed, whispering sweet words that Steve never thought anyone would say to him. And maybe it had been too soon, but he’d honestly thought he’d be doing those things for the rest of his life. But now that was all gone and he has no idea why.

“I thought we were doing okay,” he says to Dustin. “It was the same with Nancy. I thought things were fine, and then it blew up in my face. I don’t know why this keeps happening. It’s even worse with Eddie, though.”

“Why’s that?” He says it so gently, in a way he never is, that Steve has to take a minute. He swipes a hand across his mouth, breathes in hard before he can continue.

“Me and Nancy,” he says. “We were never going to work out. We don’t want any of the same things. And she liked me at first, but I think she was just trying to cut loose by being with me, break out of her shell or whatever. But Eddie, I thought he actually liked me, you know? He always wanted to show me stuff, play me a song he was writing, teach me the Dragon game, get my opinion on tattoos he wanted. And he never thought anything I said was stupid. Guess I was being stupid, though.”

“Steve.”

But Steve can’t take it anymore. He gives himself a shake, pushes against the wall to stand up straight. “Shit, man, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have unloaded all that on you.”

“I’m glad you did. You never let me help you with stuff like this. I want to help.” Steve reaches out, tugs Dustin close. Dustin presses his face into Steve’s shoulder and mutters something against it that Steve doesn’t quite catch. Steve pulls back enough to look down at him, but not enough to let him go.

“What was that?”

“I said, do you want me to skip Hellfire tomorrow? I will. I’m on your side, Steve.” Steve marvels at him. How did he find this kid? How did he get so lucky?

“No, that’s…I don’t want you to do that, I promise.” Dustin squints up at him, skeptical, but Steve gives him a reassuring smile and ruffles his hair. “I promise.”

“If you say so,” Dustin says.

Steve finally lets him go. He glances around at his empty house and back to Dustin, who’s clearly still upset. Part of him wants to go back to bed. Forget about his parents, forget about Eddie. But a bigger part of him wants to say fuck all the angst and watch some space teddy bears with his friend.

“You wanna stay over tonight?” he asks. “I could use the company. We can watch Star Wars.”

Dustin’s face lights up and he places a hand on Steve’s shoulder, clutching the other one dramatically to his chest. “Steve. I would be honored.”

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Next up: A confrontation at Hellfire! Sorry I didn't tag anyone, the tag list just got way too overwhelming. Thank you for reading! Reblogs appreciated!