I Hate When People Ask Me About My Preference But I Don’t Understand Their Preference Level. Like Yes

I love to write this Kinde of comments or when a word is missing/not fitting in []. People who beta for me or are allowed to read my wips seem to love these little insights and comments. I can recommend it for the writing process and also as Entertainment for early readers.

me, struggling to write: hmm, this part is a little difficult. maybe i should check my planning document, which i created as a helpful tool for my writing process!

the planning document:

Never Say Die

You are here | part two | part three | part four

I can’t get this concept out of my head steve being a prisoner instead of hopper and coming back home.

Steve sat in the back of the car, unsure what to expect. Six months. Six months he hasn’t seen his friends, who he considered to be his family if anything. He wished he could say that it had been six months since the last time he seen his parents but that would be a lie. Strange how he could place the date and times when he last seen his real family but yet he didn’t know when he last seen his parents. It was a chilling thought. He doesn’t remember being this nervous about seeing his parents for the first time in a long, long time.

Then again this was under different circumstances. Last time he seen Dustin, Robin and Erica it had looked like he had died. The last time he seen Hopper and Joyce, both of them had been trying to reach them from god knows where with their own personal Russian translator. Now, when he steps out of this car his new life will begin. One that was much different compared to before he “died”.

He was stunned if anything. He doesn’t know how he survived. He had thought the torture he had endured at star court, tied to a chair was bad. Little did he know, the Russians got very creative in their homeland. His body sometimes still aches from his time there. Though, he’s been through hell and back nothing was more scarier then seeing his family again. What if they were different, what if they didn’t want him back? All questions that were bothering him. All questions that disappear the the second he he sees all of the kids gathered together in a drive way. Smiling and laughing as they all help the Byers unpack their boxes into a nicer home then what they had lived in before.

He smiles to himself. He’s unsure if they were told he was coming. He stops the agent in front of him from stepping out. To break the moment he was watching. Lucas was laughing as he carefully holds one hand on the back of Max’s back. Crutches under her armpits as she leans on on foot. Her other leg in a cast, along with one of her wrists. Both of them talking to each other in a way that told him they made it through the little dispute from six months ago. Off to the right of them, stepping out of the van carrying boxes was Jonathan. Handing them to Nancy, who was smiling brightly up at him. Mouth moving as she talked. Next to them, in a bean bag sat a boy with long silky hair. Obviously stoned off his ass as he wore a button down shirt eating pizza. Steve wanted to hear some of what they were saying, he pulls his window down just a smidge to catch Jonathan laughing.

“You know, the pizza was supposed to motivate you helping us carry our stuff in.” Hes looking at the other with a smirk. Steve chuckles softly to himself before his eyes move over seeing Will sitting on the hood of a car. Talking to El, who seemed to have lost all process in her hair growth. Both of them huddled together and talking with serious expressions. Both of their faces cracking into smiles when Mike comes walking over to them. There’s something awkward going on there but it seemed like they were all friends.

The front door of the house opens further, and Steve’s heart stops. Breathing not in his dictionary anymore as he watches Robin Buckley walk out with flying hands. God it was so her, though what takes him by surprise was the fact she was wearing his letterman jacket. How the hell she got a hold of it was beyond him. Then again Dustin must have told her where the key of his house was hidden. Let her in and it warms his heart in a way that doesn’t even make sense to know she wanted something that was his. Her hair is in a Bob and she’s yelling at someone. That someone showing his presence, walking out behind her. Steve’s in a near heart attack and near tears when he sees Henderson walking out with a cap on. Hair styled in the way that he had showed him, a hat firmly placed on the top of his head. Mouth moving a mile per minute. Talking right back to Robin. Even from here Steve knew the kid was being obnoxious.

“Come on Robin. It’s not that bad, right Eddie.” The boy turns. Looking for confirmation from Eddie the freak Munson. And Steve really shouldn’t be that shocked that Dustin would find a friend in a drug dealer. If there was trouble in Hawkins, Henderson sure as hell would find it. Steve’s about to freak out, but stops when he sees the amused look on the metal heads face. His hair was much longer then what he remembered it being.

“Sorry dude. Im with Robbie on this one.” Eddie moves a hand playfully moving the others head on his shoulders. None of them noticing the suspicious car on the other side of the street. Next came Joyce, whose hand was wrapped tightly in Hoppers. That was not a shock to see at all. Both of them laughing as they look around at the children. Like Steve had.

As expected, Hoppers eyes land on the car. His face going a bright red as he lets go of Joyce’s hand. Storming forward catching everyone’s attention. Breaking the peace as he looks like he’s ready to kill someone. “Get the hell away from my property. Don’t need the god damn government spying on my daughter. Last warning, next time I’ll -“ his words die in his throat as Steve steps out of the car. Hoppers back blocking the view of everyone behind him.

Steve looks at him with a amused look, holding his side. Body still recovering from his stint in another country. “Wow, nice welcoming home gift hopper.” He laughs. Coughing a little from the bruised rib. Though the bruised rib is nearly the least of his worries as Hopper pulls him into a bear hug.

“Never got a chance to thank you for saving Joyce and the kids. Considering the fact you fucking died.” Hopper gruffly rasps. “Everyone’s going to freak you know.” He warns.

“I know.” Steve says softly. Stepping back with a tight smile.

“Hopper what’s going on?” Joyce is now walking over. Obviously warning the kids to go inside. All of them complaining and bickering as they do. Steve could hear them. Her face pulls into a shocked expression when she sees Steve. “Oh my god.” She gasps as she moves nearly tackling him.

“What is it mom?” Jonathan’s voice is heard from the van.

“Everyone inside now.” Joyce yells. Helping hopper hide steve from everybody. They knew that the second they all seen him, the neighbors attention would be all over them. Something that they didn’t need was for everyone talking about how a whole group of people started sobbing in the middle of the drive way. That and Steve Harrington was supposed to be dead. Word got around, that was all they would need.

When he hears the front door closing Joyce finally looks at him. Looks right through him actually. “Oh god what did they do to you.” She sounded in pain as her hand cups his face. All of them still standing in the middle of the road. Only remembering where they were when a car try’s coming through. Hopper quickly thinks as he pulls off his ugly Hawaiian shirt. Quickly tossing it over Steve’s head. Who starts to gag.

“Oh my god you stink. I shared a cell with a guy who had stomach issues and you somehow stink more then our toilet.” He gags, being dragged up the driveway. Letting Joyce’s hand wrap around his as she moves him to what he assumes is the front door.

“Shut up-“ hopper rasps out.

“Honey, everyone’s going to freak out. Are you ready for this?” Joyce sounded like she was crying herself. Hand shaking in his. Steve felt like his world was just beginning again. Rotating, revolving whatever the earth does. It was happening again for him.

“Yeah.. yeah I’m ready.”

Im thinking about doing a part two though I’m unsure. If I did write more, it would be eventual Steddie. I don’t know if I should though 😭 should I?

Masterpost: How to write a story?

Compilation of writing advice for some aspects of the writing process.

How to motivate myself to write more

How to get rid of writer’s block

Basic Overview: How to write a story

How to create a character

How to make a character unique

How to write conversation

Introducing a group of characters

Large cast of characters interacting in one scene

Redemption arc

Plot twists

How to write a summary

How to write romance

How to write emotional scenes

Fatal Character Flaws

More specific scenarios

Slow burn

How to create quick chemistry

How to write a bilingual character

How to write a polyamorous realtionship

How to create and write a cult

Criminal past comes to light

Reasons for breaking up while still loving each other

Forbidden love

Date gone wrong

Causes for the apocalypse

How to create a coffee shop atmosphere

How to write enemies to lovers

How to write lovers to enemies to lovers

Arranged matrimony for royalty

Paramilitary Forces/ Militia

Honeymoon

Academic Rivals to Lovers

How to write amnesia

AU ideas

Favourite tropes

Inconvenient things a ghost could do

For a few weeks, Claudia thinks that she’s collecting her son from the hospital after he’s visited Max Mayfield.

Then she finds out that’s only partly the truth.

Usually Dustin’s already waiting in the parking lot for her, Steve by his side. They chat, Steve insisting that he could drive Dustin home, it’s no trouble, and Claudia thanks him for the offer, kindly refuses; the poor boy looks run ragged these days.

One day neither of them are there, so she heads inside. There’s still a long line at reception, the aftermath of the earthquake, so she finds a nurse in a corridor, describes Dustin—my boy, about this high, curly hair (smiles like the sun, she wants to add)—and the nurse smiles, says, “Follow me, ma’am.”

She has a passing thought that this isn’t the direction to Max’s room, but reasons that she must’ve been moved. The nurse leaves her at the door before being called away.

Claudia opens the door quietly.

It’s not Max who’s in the bed.

She recognises him from the posters—his eyes first, then his long hair. He’s holding a battered copy of The Hobbit, the spine broken, and he’s reading so softly that she can’t quite make out the words.

And there, lying so peacefully against Eddie Munson’s shoulder, is Dustin. He’s fast asleep.

Eddie’s got an arm around him, and he’s slowly running his fingers through Dustin’s hair the way she used to when he was little, to help him drift off.

He looks up from his book at the sound of her entering the room, and his face goes as white as the bedsheets.

She takes one step forward.

Eddie inhales, breath stuttering, and it’s a fragile, heartbreaking sound.

Dustin stirs. “Hmm? Wha’s wrong?” He lifts his head up from Eddie’s shoulder, and his eyes meet Claudia’s, and he’s suddenly wide awake, scrabbling upright. “Mom.”

Eddie’s mouth keeps moving, like he’s desperately searching for words. “I-I’m not—” His breathing catches again, eyes wide; Claudia realises, with a heavy heart, that he’s deeply afraid of her. “It’s just a stupid board game, I swear.”

“Mom,” Dustin says again. Pleading.

And of course, Claudia never once believed the frenzied cries about Satanic rituals. Still, throughout that awful Spring Break, knowing that her son was lying to her, all she could think was that she was once a teenager, too—remembered how easy it could be to get caught up in something scary, something beyond your control.

She looks into Eddie Munson’s eyes, and knows deep in her bones that she has nothing to fear from him.

She beckons Dustin over, hands him the car keys.

“There’s a pillow on your seat, hon,” she says softly, because there’s a sleepy haze returning to his eyes despite his obvious concern for Eddie.

Dustin blinks, so unsure.

She smiles reassuringly. It’s okay. I promise.

“Okay,” Dustin says slowly, and he looks back at Eddie, raising his eyebrows like he wants to convince him of something. “See you tomorrow, Eddie.”

Eddie nods, but doesn’t speak.

He lifts his hand in a weak wave as Dustin leaves. It’s shaking. Claudia sits down by the bed. Puts her hand in his.

Eddie stares at her.

“I’m so sorry,” she says. “I’m so sorry for what we did to you.”

Eddie shakes his head, like he can’t believe what he’s hearing. “You didn’t—” He clears his throat. “It wasn’t you.”

Claudia shakes her head, too, slowly—prays that he can really hear this. “No, no, please. Listen to me. I’m so sorry.”

It would be an easy thing to say, that the town of Hawkins wronged Eddie Munson. But that would make it sound so impersonal: like it was inevitable, just one of these tragic things that happened, nothing to be done about it. Like earthquakes.

But that wasn’t true. People were behind this, and Claudia knows that they are all the town, every single one of them. And what did it say about them, that the fear and mistrust and cruelty spread like wildfire? That not one adult in the town hall stood up, begged people to stop, to think again?

“Th-thank you,” Eddie says. It sounds so uncertain, almost like a question.

Claudia squeezes his hand. “You were with Dustin, weren’t you?” she asks. “When the earthquake…”

His hand is shaking again.

“Yes,” he whispers. “I-I’m sorry, I—” He swallows. “I didn’t want a-anything to happen to him.”

“Oh, honey.” She reaches out cautiously, and when he doesn’t freeze up, she cups his cheek; her heart breaks at the rough indent of a scar beneath her palm. “You’re not God.”

Eddie reaches up, pressing her hand further against his cheek. He’s crying.

Claudia wipes his tears away as much as she can. She keeps up a steady murmur: “Shh, shh. I know you kept him as safe as you could. I know, I know. Shh.”

When he starts to calm, she thanks him again, but for something lighter.

“Dusty… he was so nervous, starting high school. But his first day, when I picked him up, all he could talk about was getting invited to have lunch with… well, a club.” Claudia smiles. “Oh, he was talking a mile a minute, I could hardly keep up. But I… oh, Eddie, I understand now. That was you.”

Eddie grins back. His cheeks are still wet.

“I didn’t do much,” he says. “You’ve…” For a moment, his eyes fill up again, but they look like happy tears. “You’ve got some kid, Mrs Henderson. He’s—he’s a real gem.”

She laughs. “Oh, I know.”

It’s one of the many things she loves about Dustin: that he’s always been so unashamedly, so joyously himself.

And Eddie had clearly seen that in him, had taken him in and nurtured everything that made him so.

The door abruptly slams open.

Steve’s in the doorway; he must’ve been running, is still gasping for breath as he says, panicked, “Claudia, I can—”

“Steve,” Eddie says softly, and that’s all.

But it’s clearly enough, because Steve’s shoulders drop in relief, and then he’s shutting the door, coming to Eddie’s bedside like he belongs there, and Eddie’s smiling at him, so tenderly…

And oh, she was young, once. She knows what she’s looking at.

Of course, she doesn’t mention it, can still sense some residual anxiety radiating from them.

Instead she looks around the room, spots a pile of laundry in the corner. It’s been stuffed into a bag; she recognises that as belonging to Steve, but there’s some shirts in there that are definitely Eddie’s, entwined with Steve’s things.

She stands, but before she can even pick up the bag, it seems like Steve’s read her mind, because he’s stepping forward, stopping her with a touch to her forearm.

“Oh, you don’t have to—I’m taking care of it, Claudia.”

She pats his cheek, lingers there until he smiles. “I know, sweetheart. But… would you let me? It’s the least I can do.”

Eddie reaches up from the bed, squeezes Steve’s elbow. Steve sighs, briefly leaning into him.

“Okay,” he says. “That’s… thank you.”

“As long as you do one thing for me.”

“Of course,” Steve says immediately. “Anything.”

Claudia brings out a notepad and pen from her bag. “Write me a list? Anything you’d like, I’ll be shopping anyway.” She looks Steve in the eyes, adds firmly but with a smile, “It’s no trouble.”

Steve takes the notepad, twirls the pen hesitantly.

“Anything you’d like,” Claudia repeats. She glances at Eddie, says, “You know, if you want a different shampoo than what they have here, things like that, or—”

“Oh, uh, it’s okay,” Eddie says quickly. “Whatever’s on sale is—”

“I know, honey,” Claudia says patiently, “but what would you actually like?”

The last extended hospital stay she’d had was fifteen years ago; Dustin had been a preemie, and one of the few things that kept her calm was the familiar: scents, food, people…

Steve chuckles. “I’ve got it.” He writes on the notepad, and Eddie must be able to read it, because he suddenly turns a little pink.

“How did you know that?”

Steve shrugs, smiles. “I notice things.” He writes down just a couple more things, then hands the list back. “Thank you so much, Claudia.”

“Any time, sweetie, I mean it.” She hugs Steve goodbye, then reaches one last time for Eddie’s hand on the bedspread. “It was lovely to meet you, Eddie. Hope you can go home soon.”

“Yeah, me—me too. Thank you, Mrs Hend—” Steve squeezes Eddie’s shoulder, and Eddie stops. Smiles. “Thank you, Claudia.”

She looks back once to shut the door behind her. Steve’s pulling up a chair, as close as he can get, and as the door closes, she hears him tut softly, gently swiping at the remaining trail of tears on Eddie’s face: “Hey, what—?”

They look like they belong together. Dustin’s boys.

Dustin’s asleep in the car, pillow pressed against the window. Claudia puts the bag of laundry in the trunk before quietly slipping into her seat.

Dustin wakes anyway as they drive out of the parking lot. “Eddie… okay?”

“He is, honey. Steve’s with him.”

“Mm… good.” There’s a pause, and Claudia thinks he’s fallen asleep again, but then he says, tentative, “Mom?”

“Yes, Dusty?”

“If I tell you something… d’you promise to keep it private?”

“As long as it’s not hurting anyone.”

“It’s not,” Dustin says firmly. “Um. Steve and Eddie, I think… I think they’re…”

Claudia smiles, nods encouragingly. “Oh, that’s lovely.”

Dustin hums in agreement. “They’ve not told me. Did I… do something wrong?”

“No, baby. You just keep doing what you’re doing.” Claudia feels a lump in her throat. “You’re a good friend.”

Dustin makes an uncertain noise.

“You are, baby. They love you very much, you know that, right?”

“Yeah.” Dustin sighs. “I know.” His eyes are closing.

“Sorry, baby, just before you sleep—are there any candies Steve and Eddie like?”

Dustin nods. “Eddie likes anything sweet. An’ Steve…” He yawns. “Anything w’peanut butter.”

“Great. Thank you, honey.”

Dustin’s already asleep.

Claudia knows that even with what she’s learned today, she still only has half a story, if that. That there’s something more to Dustin’s exhaustion, to just how Eddie ended up in a hospital bed.

Today, she’ll do all she can. It’s not a lot, but it’s something. Laundry and shopping, reading the brand of shampoo Steve wrote with a careful eye. She’ll fill her cart up with treats, things that won’t solve anything; they might make staying in that hospital room just a little easier, though. Make it feel a little warmer, a little more like home.

But first, she’ll take her boy home; she’ll park the car as close to the front door as she can get, and when he doesn’t stir, she’ll run a hand through his hair, gently put him to bed.

Jealousy Looks Different On You

[Part One] ✨ [You Are Here] ✨ [Part Three]

Steve can be a jealous man. He can be.

Just not in the same way that Eddie seems to thrive on it. Steve doesn't have a right to jealousy outside a relationship, so even if he feels jealous, he'll never act on it.

He thought it was just one of the many ways Eddie and he were incompatible romantically.

It was the same song and dance when they'd go out. Eddie would drag someone onto the dance floor and spend most of the dance making eyes at Steve until his catch of the night got jealous enough to pull Eddie out of eyesight.

Steve is used to that. That's the routine.

Except.

Well, except Eddie's broken the routine now, hasn't he?

Flipped the entire script by saying the things Steve has wanted to hear for years. I wouldn’t have rejected you and Jesus, Steve, you’re the only one I’ve really wanted.

Steve knows Eddie well enough to know that Eddie believes he's telling the truth or believes he really does want what he's saying to be the truth.

And now, sitting in silence in the back of a taxi that Eddie's gotten them, Steve can't bring himself to hope about it. Eddie's not a liar, as far as Steve knows, but that doesn't mean he actually wants Steve. Not for real. Not in the long run.

Steve can't give Eddie all the things Eddie seems to enjoy most. He's heard enough about Eddie's sex life to know they aren't super compatible in that department. And as far as he knows, Eddie's never even had a relationship. Just one-night stands and friends with benefits situations, which, y'know, Steve's not judging him about because Steve had all that once, too.

And maybe it's shitty of him to think but because Eddie's never been in a long-term monogamous relationship, Steve's not sure that one between them will work.

Okay. It's a lot shitty for him to think.

There's no real basis for Steve to think this other than that everything Steve wants out of a relationship, Eddie's shown him he wants the exact opposite.

Maybe Steve's just thinking shitty thoughts because it's easier than hoping that this might work.

The ride to the apartment is awkward only for Steve. They can't exactly talk about liking each other romantically in the back of a taxi where a stranger can clearly hear them, so they don't. Instead, Eddie chats up the cabbie about everything and anything that comes to his mind and Steve sits with just his thoughts.

Which are not being kind.

God, he's kind of a shitty person, isn't he?

Steve lets them both into the apartment and it feels different now. It's not like Eddie's never been in Steve's apartment. Hell, he's been sleeping in his old room for this whole 'break from the LA stress' he's taken. Has been here three days already, so this isn't even the first time this week that Steve's let them both into the apartment.

It's just different now that Eddie knows. Steve's been living his life with the assumption that Eddie knew but now he knows and everything is different.

"You, uh, want a beer?" Steve asks as he toes off his shoes, stalling because he doesn't know how to start this conversation. Isn't even sure he wants to because having this conversation means there is no going back. He won't be able to unsay these things, Eddie won't be able to unhear them. It'll be out there. All his hurt and love and fear and hope.

"Steve," is all Eddie says, in a tone that says 'we need to talk'.

So, Steve swallows thickly, nods, and heads for the living room. It's so stupid but he suddenly feels exposed, so he picks up a throw pillow from the couch before he plops onto it. He turns completely sideways, back to the armrest of the couch and legs crossed, pillow in his lap to act as a barrier of some sort. Something to feel less exposed.

Eddie takes longer to join him because, unlike Steve, he'd gotten completely done up for the bar and that includes full lace up combat boots that he can't easily slip out of.

Eddie finally joins him in the living room, pausing when he sees Steve before he moves to sit on the couch, one leg folded under him and the other on the floor. He leaves a respectable foot of distance between them and Steve's not sure if he's disappointed by that or not.

There is a tense silence that falls on them, neither brave enough to really begin the conversation that could be the end of everything.

"Steve, I- I don't even know where to start, man," Eddie finally says, running a hand through his hair.

"Me either," Steve says, looking down and picking at the pillow. "You were the one who said we needed to talk."

"Because we do?" Eddie sounds confused. "I, fuck man, I basically accused you of being in love with me and you confirmed it. We gotta talk about that."

Steve frowns because he doesn't agree. They don't have to talk about it. As far as Steve was concerned, they've been successfully not talking about it for years. Nothing has really changed from Steve's perspective. "What's there to talk about?"

"That you love me! And that I was, am, in love with you, too! That feels like a big deal!" Eddie cries, voice not loud enough to bother the neighbors yet but he can easily get that way. "You- why don't you seem as happy about this as I am?"

"Because I'm not," Steve says, stern and biting as he finally looks up from the pillow. "How am I supposed to be happy about this? This is going to change everything between us. Everything! And I've been- I've made peace with how this wasn't- with how things were between us."

Eddie stares back at him, eyes wide and mouth agape in his shock. It takes him a moment to recover. "I don't... understand. Why, why aren't you happy? Of course this will change things between us, but you make it sound like it'll be for the worse? I thought-"

"What? You thought you'd tell me you love me too and I'd jump into your arms?"

"Well, kinda," Eddie starts, but Steve doesn't want to hear it.

"I can't! Eddie, I can't. I'm not- I-I get that you, that you've just realized I loved you, but I've been living with the assumption that you already knew. I thought you knew for years. And now you're sitting here, telling me that you've felt the same. What, this whole time?"

"Yes! For longer, probably!" Eddie argues back, anger and hurt mixing on his face. "I've never known you to not go after the person you want, so why did you say anything sooner?"

"Why didn't you!?" Steve shouts, feeling the heat of tears in his eyes. He throws the pillow at Eddie and jumps from the couch to pace the living room. "We lived together for years! And I watched as you brought home guy after guy after guy. I listened as you waxed poetry about the perfect man for you; a fellow metalhead who would want to go to concerts with you, someone who'd play DnD with you and enjoyed your other nerd things, and-and-and," Steve stutters over the word, fighting back making a sobbing sound because it's one thing to let Eddie see his tears; it's an entirely different thing to let him hear the whole sob-fest Steve's fight back. "And a laundry list of all the kinks they have to b-be into so you don't get bored. I- God, you'd laid out your incredibly long list of standards that I didn't fit before I'd even realized I liked men. That I liked you! Why would I even try when I already knew I'd never measure up?"

He's pacing still. Movement helps him push the urge to cry down and makes the tears dry up. It takes him a while to realize that there's been no answer from Eddie. So, Steve finally gets his emotions under control and turns to look at the couch, to see Eddie's response.

He's not expecting to see tears falling down Eddie's own cheeks and wearing a face of heartbreak and regret.

Idk what it is but I just love omega! Steve with body worship…

—

All of his life Steve has been put on a pedestal; taught to primp and preen but he never really received it. Never any tender touches or words of encouragement.

He’s the Harrington’s prized pup, and when his first heat hits and word comes out that he’s an omega; Steve becomes that much more of a pawn for his parents to use to gain control.

Because of this, Steve acts out; of course he does. On nights his parents are away he will throw himself at anyone. He doesn’t care how rough the touch is because it means he is being touched, being held, being close to someone for once.

He forms his pack and of course Robin and the kids are there. They love him and grow to be practically glued at the hip but it’s just never enough. Steve needs to be held down, trapped under the weight of an alpha for the night for his omega to soften to a gentle purr ‘Held. Safe. Adored’ even if he knows it isn’t real, just something to help stave off the need eating him from the inside out.

Then comes the spring break from hell-

touched starved omega Steve, my beloved🥲

@izzy2210

here you go! i did them in green and black so they'd match your blog <3

requests: open please like/reblog if you use! credit is appreciated!

I love that as soon as I am back here, I found all this great One Piece artists I saw bevor on the internet on various platforms 🥰

LOST WIP - Whump Steve Harringotn

CW: Suicidal thoughts

Steve Harrington was tired.

Tired from the shitty day he'd been having.

Tired of all the sleepless nights he'd been having over the last few years.

But worst of all, he was tired of his existence.

There were days when he didn't want to go on, when he just wanted to stop existing.

It wasn't going to get any better, if anything it was only going to get worse.

Steve was very sure of that.

He had thought about just ending it all, about what would happen if he simply sank into his pool and never emerged again.

But those were thoughts he would keep strictly to himself.

He couldn't do that to Robin and the kids.

They had all endured enough in the last few years, he shouldn't be a part of their trauma.

But he knew that eventually they would leave him behind. That he would become too much and then. Yes, then he could disappear, when no one needed him anymore.

Steve lived as long as his friends still needed him.

He pretended everything was fine and was there when they called for him.

It was after Starcourt that someone started to notice his behavior.

Robin couldn't stop thinking about what had happened and she thought about what had happened to Steve.

She thought about how he had always stepped right in front of her.

How he had run towards a gun.

How he had done the talking and had been the first to be "questioned".

Something that wouldn't let her go.

Had Steve done all that consciously?

Had he actively used himself as a human shield?

However, Robin stopped thinking about it.

It would never go back to normal, but she was happy that it was as close to normal as possible.

Robin had to think about it again after she had told him that she felt that not everyone would get out of here again.

She didn't know why she had to think about it afterwards, only later would she realize that his answer had never included himself. That he was always concerned that all the OTHERS survived.

But at that very moment, other problems were more pressing than the question of what was different about the interaction.

After Vecna was defeated and Eddie and Max were in the hospital, Steve was as busy as ever making sure everyone was okay.

This time she saw clearly that he was taking care of everyone else and not himself.

She wasn't the only one who saw it.

Eddie asked her if Steve was actually taking a break.

They both wished he would.