When I Go In A Room And Forget What I Needed I Become A Point And Click Protagonist. [water Bottle?]

Mistake P2

TW: Angst, internalised homophobia, homophobia

Steve is scared. For two days. He's felt fear like this before. When Tommy had given him a funny look for looking at a skirt too long, or for not wanting to use fag, or for when Steve leant on him too long.

or around his dad.

He hated the way his belly churned, how his brain wouldn't stop coming up with different scenarios. The upside down was less scary than this. Robin called round once, but he didn't want her to see him, bleeding noes and hiding in fear.

He didn't want her to know.

It would ruin everything, their friendship.

He'd probably ruined it already, by being so stupid, by not thinking before he acted. Maybe if he had thought about it more, he would have seen that kissing Eddie Munson was not the best idea.

Steve curled tighter in his bed.

He thought….

He'd just thought. They were so close. Eddie liked to cuddle, Eddie touched him, so much more than Tommy ever did. Eddie was accepting of the weird and the wonderful.

Of Robin.

Steve sobbed. But not him. Not the kiss. Not them.

He cried.

Cried and cried until he had nothing left, until his face felt dry and his throat hoarse.

Then he got up. He got up and he washed his face, he put the peas from the freezer on his nose and he locked away his heart. It was fine. He would be fine.

Like he always was.

Robin hunted him down the day after, a million and one questions about his nose, but he just told her he walked into the door. Steve didn't want his stupid impulsive action to ruin what they all had, after all Dustin's birthday was tomorrow and he had to be fine.

He was fine.

He and Eddie looked at each other over the crowd at Dustin's, eyes catching one another. Steve feels his heart rate go up, but Dustin is pulling him away, dragging him over to something and he can breathe again.

He could breathe.

As long as he avoided Eddie. He could do that.

It was almost impossible in the small house, but Steve was good at mingling, good at talking to people and as long as he was talking to…

"Hey kid, was lookin' for ya. Got that repair kit you were looking for,"

Wayne. Fuck. Wayne.

Steve's shaking. He doesn't realise it till Wayne's looking at him funny. He liked Wayne, kind man, always talking to him about fixing stuff up, baseball.

He'd thought…

Steve doesn't know what he thought. He'd told Wayne, in the quiet of the night after a game they'd watched.

How he'd always felt a bit different, how he never felt like he fit in any one box and Wayne had said he'd understood. That sometimes love took different forms. That he was glad that he and Eddie had grown close, hasn't seen Eddie look at anyone the way he looks at Steve.

That Steve wasn't alone.

Because someone different had once meant something to Wayne, meant the world to Wayne even though it didn't mean nothing to society.

"Y-yeah. Ill come get it some time Wayne, thanks,"

"Nothing to it kid, you okay? Ya nose is kinda blue,"

Steve twitches, "Nah, it's fine, just walked into a door,"

"Steve,"

Steve whips around so fast he sends the tray of sandwhiches behind him flying. His back is pressed against the wall, body in flight before h can even think about it.

The room is silent.

All he can see are Eddie's eyes. Those big eyes staring back at him. Fear mirrored inside them.

Fear. Why would there be fear, Eddie's not the one who got punched in the face. Steve feels a sudden surge of anger churn his belly.

He needs to leave. Needs to get out of there.

"I have to- I have to go, Dustin sorry," he mumbles as he stumbles out of the house.

Away from the questions.

Away from Eddie.

"Steve wait!"

Steve doesn't.

"Steve please,"

"It's fine. I'm fine. Just let me go. I need to go. I can't. I can't do this right now Eddie. I'm sorry. I'll just.. i'll leave. thanks for not saying anything I guess,"

"Steve no. I- no. I'm saying sorry. I shouldn't have hit you. Even if you're queer."

Steve doesn't know how many times he'll flinch that day. He stares at Eddie who now that he's actually looking at him, looks a mess.

"Even if? Are you fucking serious?"

"No I meant-

"What the fuck?"

They both turn to see Dustin, who's staring at them with huge eyes. Steve's fear returns, a cold icicle in his belly. Fuck. Dustin. Fuck.

But Dustin isn't looking at him. He's looking at Eddie.

"You hit Steve?" Dustin repeats.

"No- "It's not-

"That's what you said. That's what you just said. You hit Steve for being queer,"

Eddie's mouth flaps helplessly.

"Get out. Get the fuck out of my party,"

"Dusty, no, it's fine. It's not like that," Steve tries, doesn't want this to draw a rift any further.

"How else is it Steve? What the fuck else would he mean?" Dustin says, Steve's never heard him so cold. "That's not fucking cool Eddie. I thought you were cool. But you're just another bully,"

Eddie runs.

And Steve watches.

and Wayne curses.

Here <- Previous Part | Next Part -> Here

--- Authors Note: this will have a good ending! I'm just trying to dig into that feeling of messed up emotions from being told one thing your life and not processing it properly. Please don't hate Eddie to much, he's going through it.

Now I have lost the smile too 😭😭😭😭😭

I LOVE MY FRIENDS SO MUCH I'M JUST STUPID AND FORGET THAT FEELINGS NEED TO BE EXPRESSED IN ORDER FOR THEM TO BE FELT

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Stranger Things (TV 2016) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson Characters: Steve Harrington, Eddie Munson Additional Tags: Piercings, Genital Piercing, Kink Discovery, Sexual Content, First Kiss, First Time, Getting Together, Idiots in Love Summary:

Steve overhears a conversation between Eddie and Robin, and then spends a few weeks trying to think of anything else.

Why do I have to work to live?

Why can’t I just exist?

Even if I have fun at my job, there is not enough time for me in the end. And if there is enough time, there won’t be enough money.

You WILL write your WIP

You WILL write your WIP

You WILL write your WIP

You WILL write your WIP

You WILL write your WIP

You WILL write your WIP

You WILL write your WIP

You WILL write your WIP

You WILL write your WIP

You WILL write your WIP

You WILL write your WIP

You WILL write your WIP

You WILL write your WIP

pro tip “he freed his erection” is the most useful phrase in any smut writer’s arsenal because it means never having to figure out a dude’s pants situation. how did he do it? were there zippers? buttons? some kind of bizarre lacing situation? maybe he cut off his pants with scissors. maybe it was a wizard. maybe it busted out like the hulk busts out of his shirts. no one knows. no one cares. his dick is out now and that is all that matters. thank you helpful dick wizard.

How to show emotions

Part V

How to show grief

a vacant look

slack facial expressions

shaky hands

trembling lips

swallowing

struggling to breathe

tears rolling down their cheeks

How to show fondness

smiling with their mouth and their eyes

softening their features

cannot keep their eyes off of the object of their fondness

sometimes pouting the lips a bit

reaching out, wanting to touch them

How to show envy

narrowing their eyes

rolling their eyes

raising their eyebrows

grinding their teeth

tightening jaw

chin poking out

pouting their lips

forced smiling

crossing arms

shifting their gaze

clenching their fists

tensing their muscles

then becoming restless/fidgeting

swallowing hard

stiffening

holding their breath

blinking rapidly

exhaling sharply

How to show regret

scrubbing a hand over the face

sighing heavily

downturned mouth

slightly bending over

shoulders hanging low

hands falling to the sides

a pained expression

heavy eyes

staring down at their feet

Part I + Part II + Part III + Part IV

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It can be really bad, how controlled pain can be really grounding…

It is not always control or to feel something or to fell something other. Sometimes it is just grounding and bringing you back to the now with a clearer mind.

It is conflicting to tell someone to stop if you know it is helping and not to much harming… it could be too much harming and you will never know if it could be until it is.

There has to be also a joke about Eddie’s first son.

Ed mun son

[steve and robin discover eddie’s name is edmund munson]

steve: eddie, what’s wrong? you look munhappy

robin: do you feel munappreciated

steve: maybe munloved

eddie: i wish you’d left me to die in the upside down

robin:

steve:

robin: then you’d be six feet munder

steve: [wheezing]

--

steve: so this is your home huh?

eddie: yeah, yeah, i know it’s no—

steve, face trembling as he tries not to laugh: no munsion?

eddie: