I Picture It, Soft, And I Ache

i picture it, soft, and i ache

He cannot love Patton.

But god, does he want to.

It doesn’t take Janus very long to fall in love with Patton, when it comes down to it. It takes him far longer to accept it, and to allow it to grow.

Content Warning: brief, non-graphic depiction of a panic attack

(ao3 link)

(podfic by @titheinironside)

It’s unbelievable, how fast he falls.

He prides himself on his rationality, his pragmatism. He’s no Logan, of course, but it has been a very long time since he allowed his emotions to get in his way. Over the years, that has cost him so much– his relationship with Virgil, his ability to trust and be trusted, any moral compass that he may once have possessed, among other things. But he has never regretted it, not once, because his primary directive is to help Thomas, and if he has to play the villain to do so, so be it. Lord knows none of the others see the world for what it is, are willing to do what it takes to ensure Thomas’ success.

But the scene is like this: time passes, Thomas begins to listen to him, and one day, Patton smiles. He doesn’t know at what, doesn’t know why, because he wasn’t paying attention until now, but Patton smiles, wide and bright, and in that moment, Janus would do anything for that smile to be directed at him.

Keep reading

More Posts from Sanderssidessideblog and Others

4 years ago

virgil rly saw roman about to give up and prepared to fight god

4 years ago

headcanon that Janus calling wine soup is an insider joke of the Dark Sides and it drives Logan crazy so Janus will ask Virgil to pass the soup and Virgil will hand Janus a wine bottle and Logan just sits there like

Headcanon That Janus Calling Wine Soup Is An Insider Joke Of The Dark Sides And It Drives Logan Crazy
4 years ago
No Reposting My Art.

No reposting my art.

Happy Halloween! Here have Janus as a naga!

4 years ago
Day 16: Insect

Day 16: insect

Lil something from the guardians au 💜🕷

4 years ago
How Roman Found Out He Was Aromantic
How Roman Found Out He Was Aromantic
How Roman Found Out He Was Aromantic

How Roman found out he was aromantic

4 years ago

Is it bad to like Deceit/Roman and Logan/Deceit? I started a blog for it but I've gotten nothing but people telling my to go kms and that the ships are toxic and I'm a toxic person. I just think they are kinda cute together. I just entered the fandom through the most recent video so I know everything isn't perfect but is the ship really that bad? Also, what is rem/rom (?) I see a lot of people hating on it but I don't know what it is.

Okay...so I’m gonna answer your second question first because it’s easier to explain and is more cut and dried. 

Remrom is the ship name for Remus/Roman. A lot of people don’t like it because, since canon presents them as *brothers, they see the ship as incest, which triggers and/or squicks a lot of people. If this is the case for you, the best way to handle that is to just blog those tags and not interact with those blogs. Harrassing people online over a ship never did anything positive or productive. 

Which seques into your first question, is it bad to like Roceit (Roman/Deceit) or Loceit (Logan/Deciet)? Of course not. I see loads of people ship it all over the fandom, especially Roceit. Here’s the thing, if you’re new to the fandom you won’t have heard about this, but there used to be a hUGE debate in the fandom about Deceit and whether or not liking him/shipping him with other characters was “toxic” or not. I thought that had all died out by this point, since there are more episdoes with Deceit in them (especially with where his character was left at the end of Putting Others First) but apparently those comments are still around and just lurking in the shadows more. 

But here’s the thing. One, those fears about Deceit are, in my opinion, very unfounded, especially with the current state of the character, and two, it’s fanfiction. NONE of the ships will be canon, cuz that’s not the type of show this is, and in fanfiction, we get to not only explore the dynamics that characters do have in canon, but the dynamics that they could have if things were different. If this WAS the type of show where a ship was possible in canon, would I see Roceit as plausible (or even healthy) ship with where the characters are at in the show right now? Absolutely not, they’re way too at odds with each other, Deceit’s motives are still shady at best, and BOTH of them need to make reparations with each other before their relationship can improve. 

But none of that matters in fanfiction. Because they are cute together, and there’s a lot of potential between those characters. Now, someone else may disagree for whatever reason. They might not like the character dynamic, maybe they can’t see past the tense state of their canon relationship, maybe Roman or Deceit or both just aren’t their favorite character. That’s all totally fine too, people are going to engage with content in different ways. But that doesn’t give people the right to come into your inbox and hurl insults and death threats. In fact, NOTHING gives people the right to treat you that way, on the internet or in real life. Keep on shipping Roceit and Loceit and whatever else you want to ship, and block people who try to harrass you over it. Here’s a tutorial on how to block anons (since most of the time people sending that kind of crap aren’t brave enough to send it off anon). If you’re getting hate anons over a ship or character, you are not the one with the problem, the hate anons are.  

Also, if you’re following blogs that post a lot of stuff you don’t like, be it ships you don’t care for or negative posts about ships and/or characters you like, you can unfollow them, scott free! Carefully cultivate your own online experience, and suddenly fandom becomes a wonderful thing. Welcome to the fanders, I hope you have a lot of fun! Check out the roceit and loceit tags, there’s loads of good content there to enjoy! And if anyone else out there reading this thinks it’s okay to send hate over a ship, then you can kindly leave this blog, because this isn’t gonna be the place for you! 

*Arguments can be made surrounding this, such as A) since they’re all figments of Thomas’s mind, they aren’t really brothers so it’s not really incest, or B) since they’re all figments of Thomas’s mind, ALL the ships are incest and/or selfcest. There will be people who feel either way, and as far as I’m concerned those feelings are valid, but they’re both minority opinions as far as I can tell. Either way it doesn’t matter, everyone will have their own interpretation of the material and how they engage with it is ultimately their business.  

4 years ago
The Snake Boi Himself He’s Always So Fun To Doodle

The snake boi himself He’s always so fun to doodle

art block only lets me draw comfort characters rn sorry T^T

4 years ago
I’ll Start Glowing In A Second, I Swallowed A Flashlight!

I’ll start glowing in a second, I swallowed a flashlight!

4 years ago
A Scene In Which Virgil Lost His Wings And The Angst Is Probably Meager And Confusing.

A scene in which Virgil lost his wings and the angst is probably meager and confusing.

(Feeling pretty off today, so oh well?? Maybe I’ll fix it later)

(Edit: forgot to add my signature whoops)

4 years ago

infinity, and beyond

He remembers the first time he kissed Janus. He remembers the way they were curled up against each other, the lights dimmed and the television on low volume, neither of them paying attention to the images on the screen. It was messy and terrible, as far as kisses go, and Patton loved every moment of it, and when they pulled away from each other, they were both breathless, smiling, and he knew then that what he felt, Janus felt too.

He remembers, too, the moment he heard about Virgil.

It’s not every day that your husband’s long-lost kid breaks into your house. It’s not every day that you find out your husband of four years is an alien.

Patton’s just trying to roll with the punches.

Content Warnings: threats of violence, mild body horror, brief, non-graphic panic attack

Word Count: 7,168

Pairings: Moceit, parental Anxceit

(masterpost w/ ao3 links)

Patton’s day begins with a teenager holding a knife to his throat.

Technically, the day has already begun; it is mid-morning, the sun inching steadily toward noon. But Patton has barely been awake an hour, has been sitting at the kitchen table with his mug of coffee, staring at all the final exams he has yet to grade as he waits for his brain to start functioning. He likes Saturday mornings; he would go so far as to say that they’re usually his favorite part of the week, because usually, Saturday mornings mean sleeping in, wrapped in his husband’s arms, and later, a big brunch and a lazy day. But today, an emergency called Janus into the office, and he has a backlog of grading to finish this weekend, so here he is. Squinting, bleary-eyed, and with a sad lack of a husband to keep him company.

That is when the teenager appears.

Appears, because there is no better word for what happens. There is no break-in, no slamming of doors or shattering of windows. One minute, he is alone, and the next, there is another person in the kitchen, a young person who can’t be any older than seventeen or eighteen, and Patton barely has time to process that before they lunge for him, knocking him from his chair and to the floor, pinning him against the cool tile.

It takes a second to process the bite of cold, sharp metal against his throat, but as soon as he does, Patton wakes up very, very quickly.

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sanderssidessideblog - Everybody is a little gay
Everybody is a little gay

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