OCTOBER 2023 (Life Is Very Long And You, After All, Shall Live It)

Hello friend!

Ahoy! You are now anonymous (because you asked so nicely and it's a valid question.)

G-d I wish I had a real answer for this. I think it depends on the person, but is this someone you feel like will be receptive to you approaching her with some vulnerability about how unsafe that makes you feel? Do you think she will listen to reason if you give her fact-based explanations for why that rhetoric is more antisemitic than it is helpful to the Palestinian cause? + your perspective and feelings on it? If so, it's worth a try if you are intent on maintaining a trust-based friendship.

If you don't think you'll be safe/you aren't really in a place to take the risk of vulnerability, I'd say you have a few choices:

Avoid her or at least talking about that with her for now, and talk to her later when some of the heat has died down on this issue. Admittedly, this is not optimal because it's way easier to apologize and backtrack when the stakes are low(er), but if you really work on it with her maybe you could rebuild some of that trust.

Stay friends but don't trust her with your safety (emotional or physical). Up to you about how you answer her if she notices and asks about this.

Cut ties at whatever speed you are comfortable with and don't tell her why. You can drift or just start avoiding her. That happens sometimes for non-political reasons.

Cut ties with her and tell her why you aren't interested in maintaining the relationship. That's obviously the most direct, confrontational version; if you go this route but don't want to have a fight about it, you could just say "hey - this really showed me that you do not value the lives and human rights of my people and therefore me, and so I no longer feel safe around you. I wish that was different, but it can't be fixed at this point because I can't trust you anymore." That's a tough lesson, but it's one some people need to learn.

Obviously none of that is ideal, but we're not working with ideal circumstances here unfortunately. Idk if other people have suggestions, but those are mine. I'm sorry you're in this position and hope that you have other supportive community no matter what you decide and how she responds.

tbh i don’t think people who aren’t active in jewish spaces have any comprehension of the damage being done and the sheer amount of hate speech/crimes and blood libel and ancient conspiracy theories being remixed and perpetuated boldly across the internet and the world, and how truly terrifying it is. either you aren’t seeing it or you don’t get it, or you tacitly agree with it. it doesn’t have to come from jewish voices, though i have countless of them as sources, have seen so much anguish and fear and people trying to educate others and speak up for innocent life on both sides for the past three weeks, and been met with nothing but silence or hatred, only receiving support from other jews, who also don’t want any of this suffering or death. but let’s take yashar ali, who is nothing but fair and measured and intelligent in his coverage, sharing things like:

it’s demented how far this has gone, that anyone reporting on anything, no matter how balanced, no matter how outspoken for all affected, will be attacked with this rhetoric, that anyone offering empathy after a slaughter is immediately torn to shreds, that schools are being tagged with nazi graffiti and synagogues are being firebombed, that jewish students on college campuses are being told to hide during protests, that people are being told not to wear anything identifiable of their jewishness because it’s dangerous, that outright “cleanse the world of jews” posters are being displayed, the incidents are endless (the UK estimated antisemitism up by 1350% there, what does that even mean? how do you even calculate it). and people directly affected by this weren’t even given the chance to grieve because it went to immediate jubilation and justification and apologism for a genocidal terrorist organization (it’s in their charter, it’s not a secret) that steals billions from their own people and rips out their pipes and intentionally imbeds themselves amongst them to cause maximum harm and subjugates and oppresses and jails and kills anyone who would stand in their way. there was no time to mourn because people were immediately forced to defend themselves and their right to exist as humans. the rampant ignorance and ignoring of things here (do you know about the peace talks with saudi arabia preceding this? do you know about the oppressive regime in iran, that is actively hurting their own people, training and funding this? do you understand how it’s connected to russia and thus do you care about ukraine?). by all means, speak up for human rights, speak up for oppressed people who deserve their autonomy and self-determination and do not deserve to die in a terrible war, but this? this is not doing that. and if you cannot and will not condemn hamas, if you haven’t even had a moment of sympathy for the innocent civilians who suffered their torture and brutality, because you don’t like the country where they, from elderly Holocaust survivors to infants, were killed, if you quantify innocent deaths with, “yes, but-,” i will never trust you again.

nytimes.com

As Gazans Scrounge for Food and Water, Hamas Sits on a Rich Trove of Supplies

Hamas has spent years stockpiling desperately needed fuel, food and medicine, as well as ammo and weapons, in the miles of tunnels it has ca

and yes i am saying this here, on the tiny blog. to 30 people, because i am not safe to say it to nearly 2000 on the other one. i am happy to help educate you or send you sources or histories or definitions or anything to clarify all this, but if i am not safe saying this here, and you have a problem with how hurt and scared and outraged people are, then i know fundamentally you are not a friend and will never be an ally when it’s needed.

A locket Humphrey Bogart gave Lauren Bacall has a new owner.

The gold locket, which is heart-shaped and inscribed with the words “Baby/heres my heart/Bogie,” is set with a simulated garnet and has openings for two pictures inside. A buyer paid $57,150 for the locket at a Julien’s Auctions sale of Hollywood memorabilia, nearly three times its highest pre-sale estimate of $20,000. There was a total of 23 bids for the piece. (sept.2023)

💜👻💜

tumblr forcing new accounts to have the "for you" algorithm tab first rather than "following," so you constantly have to switch it, is the worst decision

just took a “what jellycat are you?” quiz and

Witchy woodland animals on a vintage Halloween card

PRIDE & PREJUDICE (2005) dir. Joe Wright

I want you all to see this to understand even a sliver of why I'm not using this evil, godforsaken website, not that it's limited to tumblr because it is now the incessant, constant reality everywhere. I'm an "all of the above" statistic on this. you cannot possibly comprehend the despair and the depths of what this is like unless you are entrenched in it and seeing people futilely trying to combat it every day. too many people unaffected can't even recognize what they are seeing, or don't care, or are participating in it. my dash is COVERED in it daily, from mutuals. I got tired of blocking people and prayed maybe some of what I said would get through instead, but it didn't. people literally participating in this were liking my posts? it's almost laughable if it weren't so deeply wounding and concerning. this has been the daily reality for Jewish people trying to exist online (or anywhere) since that horrible day. there is no respite from it. we are battered and broken and angry and devastated. there is no space for our grief except from each other. there is no recognition of our collective humanity. I said this already over there, but I'll say it again - this killed something in my soul. every single person who has perpetuated this or was utterly silent about it (and continues to be. do you think we don't hear the silence too?) has destroyed something irreparably. idealism, trust, hope, safety. it is inescapable, it is violent, it is relentless. everyone else will eventually move on and we'll be trapped in the aftermath of knowing how prevalent this hatred is. that people we considered friends would stab us in the back and supposed allies would cheer harm done to us for the crime of being Jewish. because that's what this is about. none of this rhetoric is about anything but that anymore, not when conspiracy theories are being woven, lies are being perpetuated, victims and atrocities are being denied, and any Jew, no matter their beliefs or political spectrum, is being attacked for existing. we are not the same. we will never be the same. I will never forget or forgive the response from this, from "friends," from strangers, or from the whole world.

hi followers <3 curious after the reblogged discussions yesterday:

if you'd like to reblog this to elaborate what happened or in which fandom(s), you are more than welcome to.