Lets Out A Single Agonized Bloodcurdling Scream But Doesnt Elaborate On Why And Just Walks It Off

things which have occurred over the past few weeks other than the irrevocable heartbreak the fear the shattering of hope and idealism and belonging the unending despair the not sleeping not eating dropping to an extremely low weight strands of hair suddenly turning white in my 30s due to stress of it all:

some of you know my mom has been very ill and had an excruciating reaction to a procedure which led to a serious cancer scare. it took two weeks to get the biopsy results back, and they'd pretty much convinced us to prepare for the worst. when they finally called back, she left me this note:

so that is a massive relief and blessing and we are very, very thankful for it, and grateful to those of you who knew and kept her in your prayers.

received this little felt and cotton haunted friend in the mail, but don't know who she is from!:

reached the Yentl chapter of My Name is Barbra (just ahead of its anniversary on the 18th, though i haven't finished this section yet), and everything about it feels more important and affirming than ever.

there are certain things that once you have no man can take away, no wave can wash away, no wind can blow away.

Witchy woodland animals on a vintage Halloween card

playin catch

Tomorrow, October 27th, marks the 5th anniversary of the Pittsburgh Synagogue Shooting. For any of those who may not remember or forgot a few details, especially outside of the US: in 2018, a man named Robert Bowers went into the Tree of Life Synagogue during their Shabbat morning services and opened fire. 11 Jews lost their lives. On August 3, 2023, Robert Bowers was sentenced to death for this antisemitic crime. This was the worst mass shooting of Jews in the US to date.

Yesterday, October 25th, Jewish students at Cooper Union, a college in New York had to barricade themselves in the library while 'protestors' banged on the doors and shouted 'Free Palestine'. Note that the students had done absolutely nothing to cause this and have absolutely no power to do anything about the situation in the Middle East. This was an antisemitic attack, not a protest. You don't trap people for a protest. That's basic protesting rules. Disrupting is NOT the same as trapping. Peaceful protesting is defined as not blocking doors. Even if the students had opened the doors the demonstrators were right there and threatening. Not peaceful. It took over 40 minutes for the students to be safely escorted out of the building.

Also yesterday, a 6-person family in LA was woken up at approximately 520am by a man who kicked in their door and was wielding a knife. Blessedly (somewhat) he had entered the master bedroom first where he confronted the husband and his pregnant wife (at 9 months which means any amount of stress could put her into labor and put her baby at risk). All four children were also at home. Luckily the husband was able to fend off the knife-wielding antisemite. Multiple reasons he knew they were Jewish range from the mezuzah on their door to the fact he is apparently a neighbor and had talked to them before a few months previous where he found out they are Israeli. He apparently was drunk but had the wherewithal to state his intentions: he was going to kill them because they are Jews.

October has not been kind to Jews in the past few years and especially not this week in particular. Please, we are not okay. We are very tired and hurt and scared.

Audrey Hepburn wearing Givenchy in 'Sabrina' (1954)

Will literally anybody at all see those murdered kids' faces and start speaking up. Everyone in my life tries to tell me the whole world doesn't hate us, that the "silent majority" is with us. But what fucking use is a silent majority? If literally nothing at all whatsoever can get them to stop being silent?

Babies were murdered and your peers excuse it and celebrate the organization that killed them and held a party as they handed over their corpses. And this "silent majority" won't even reblog a post about it, on the off chance that they get blocked by their violently antisemitic tumblr mutuals on a completely anonymous microblogging website. If that is the extent of the moral backbone of the "silent majority," what fucking use is it? People can bring up every excuse in the world for not taking this or that action or not talking about this or that particular thing, but the fact of the matter is that if you literally never push back against bigotry in any situation at all no matter how low the stakes are, you are completely indistinguishable from a bigot and what's "in your heart" is less than worthless.

What's inside only matters because of what it makes you do. Anything else is a fantasy we tell ourselves to hide from the reality of who we really are.

💜👻💜

CASPER | 1995 ↳ Directed by Brad Silberling