Saveperfect - Redemtion

Felt✨

I genuinely don’t know how to go to people for help or support when I am upset or depressed or going through whatever. I don’t want to bother them but when I’m visibly upset and depressed and openly stating that I think I’d be better off dead, ignoring those changes should not be an option especially when it’s something that serious. I guess it doesn’t matter because I “got over” what I imagined was the “worst of it” for now and not one of my closest friends asked me if I needed to talk. I had 2 people reach out to me. One I haven’t spoken to in years and the other has backstabbed me more times than I can count and yet these were the people reaching out to see if I was okay, telling me they were worried and that they’re proud of me. They reached out but my friend who’ve I’ve been there for again and again to listen and try to give advice and support and love, there wasn’t a word about it. I don’t want to hold it against her because she’s dealing with a lot right now but for my close friends i could not imagine holding my own problems above theirs. Maybe I’ve conditioned them unconsciously to not ask because I’ll be fine if you give me a week. I just want someone I trust to listen and hold me and tell me everything is going to be okay and tell me good things.

Susanna Kaysen, from “Girl, Interrupted,” originally published c. 1993

Honestly, I’m at my best when my ed is at it’s worst. My room is clean, I dress nice, I wash my face more, I whiten my teeth, I wear makeup, I do my hair. For some reason the only thing that pulls my out of my depression spiral is my ed and the only thing that pulls me out of my ed is my depression. Idk if anyone else feels like that? Idk I just always feel better when I’m losing weight and excersizing and not eating. Idk maybe it’s my body thinks I’m finally being healthy? But I’m not? So… idk, it’s just really weird.

exactly!!!

me 🤍🤍

immediately

she’s who i want to be

“And all I loved, I loved alone.”

— Edgar Allan Poe

Felt✨

🐁Mouse workout

(it’s called mouse workout because it’s quiet) 

100 leg lifts (each leg) 

75 squats

50 sit-ups 

50 second plank 

50 second wall sit

⚡️ Burns around 293 cals ⚡️  

Scott Bergey

scottbergey.etsy.com

i’m fasting rn, and it’s all grumbling sounds from here to Sacramento.

the burning hasn’t started yet.

that’s when i know.

i swear, i fucking love that warm feeling