No Cuz You Don’t Fucking Understand

Bi Han x Bimbo Reader

"I need to die looking good."

This is for chickensandwich69

Warning: Bi Han is sexist (and a bit of a d*ck), and mild sexual flirting but nothing explicit.

She has priorities.

She wasn't fighting for Earthrealm, nor did she have any interest in fighting for Shao Kahn. She was in it for herself, blindsided and forced to compete, but making the most of what she could enjoy out of it.

And that was something Bi Han could respect, even though her motivations weren't. Spending time with friends, shopping, getting her hair and makeup done, and scoring herself a romantic companion.

The She/Her in question is you. You were a ballerina, a gymnast, a cheerleader, pageant Queen. It was clear competition is in your blood, so the tournament was a walk in the park for you. The fighting part, anyway. Seeing you freak out over blood was another matter.

"Do you want me to massage your hair?" you asked him, a cheeky smile on your face. He nodded, and you did as you offered.

Seeing Bi Han's face was a luxury, and you would do anything to see it as long as you could, even though you didn't mind him with his mask. You liked being the one that gets pampered, but you would make an exception for Bi Han.

He questions how it came to this, all the time.

Maybe it's your Chaosrealm blood. Nothing made sense around you but it came naturally. It happened out of nowhere. First, you're watching him train with Cyrax. Second, you're following him and yapping your mouth off. Third, he ends up doing something very intimate with you and he's wearing less clothes. And it involves his mouth and lower region.

Your relationship wasn't much of a secret, considering you were seen hugging his arm if you were both in the same room or area, but not enough lived to know it as fact. With the tournament and all. Or just in general. Bi Han saw competition in their gazes, which meant jealousy. Which meant lots of ice and blood during fights. Thankfully you were too dumb to figure it out, because blood upset you a lot, and you had only started making an exception for the tournament.

"What else would you like me to do?" you were sitting on his lap now, something in your eyes. Pretty obvious what you were feeling.

Oh yeah, that's why. There was no way he would resist this.

Bi Han may be a Lin Kuei assassin, and one that takes his profession very seriously, but he could enjoy a good lady himself. You had just broken up with your boyfriend so it felt like a fitting decision to take your attention while it was still available to him. So long as you were his no one else could have it.

Companions were not common within the clan, and you were an excellent fighter. Sure, there were the cultural differences and the clash of personalities, but if the Lin Kuei were to ever find out it would be unbelievable, so it was a right decision.

You desired him and he desired you, it worked both ways. Both of you were being selfish, he was certain, but you initiated so he had no reason to care about your feelings.

[Noob Saibot]

He grew more possessive of you, and that possession followed him when he died. Before he would freeze any man that flirted with you, these days he killed them. You were distraught when Bi Han died, but you weren't sure what to make of his new self. It was still Bi Han, but he was Goth now and you've never been with a Goth before. You were determined to try something new, however, so you kept going on with the relationship.

You didn't understand his new found problems with his brother or where his bizarre mindset came from, but your main concern was matching with your boyfriend, so you had a bunch of black designer dresses lined up in your wardrobe.

"I guess Goth isn't a phase." you said to yourself. Then again, your parents thought you were a phase.

Bi Han gently brushed your hair out of your face and kissed your cheek, even though his skin wasn't as soft as it originally was, which meant his lips were almost shrivelled into his skull. It would only be fair if you were dead as well, that way he wouldn't feel left out from lack of lips.

"Where is your fear?"

"I think I left it in my purse."

"We will find it."

You had only started getting used to his new odd way of showing his affection, but it still made your insides all fluttery. You kissed him sweetly. Your lip gloss stained on his 'lips', and Bi Han didn't show any irritation, but there was the pride she recognised. It wasn't often he gave an expression since his change.

Victor and Graydon Creed

I have a broken sense of humour, so forgive me. But the fact that VICTOR CREED not only fathered a non-mutant child, but also that same non-mutant child became a politician, suit and all. Sabretooth, a man where the word 'Barbarian' comes to mind, fathered a political figure. Granted, Graydon is as much a monster as Mr Creed senior, but the vision is everything.

Can you imagine the shenanigans?

Graydon being forced to go back on his words about his anti mutant propaganda, and talk about how they're not so bad because a list of nice things they done for him in order to avoid getting a spanking.

Graydon opening up about his mutant background, and how his anti mutant propaganda came from hating himself and his mommy issues, and how he learned that doesn't mean other mutants are the same, and using that to advocate for mutant acceptance.

Graydon getting some kind of promotion, and a party being hosted to celebrate it. Then Sabretooth crashes it, gets drunk and starts embarrassing Graydon in front of all his co-workers and fellow politicians. Saying stuff like "Just to think all those decades ago you was in my balls!"

His co-workers recognising that Graydon's cat-like habits come from Sabretooth. Standoffish with people he's just met. Hissing or growling when annoyed. Disturbing people, but not liking when others bother him. Having no concern for other people's belongings. His co-workers noticing how he avoids people when he's stressed, just like a cat.

Getting asked awkward questions at interviews like "Do laser pointers bother you?" and "Do you eat lots of fish?". Graydon trying his best to stay professional and not lose his cool.

Graydon being forced to stand next to Sabretooth, and everyone pointing out how small he looks in comparison despite being very tall, because Victor is HUGE.

Graydon being forced to acknowledge his other siblings from Mystique's side, and coming to the realisation that Logan is his uncle.

Graydon trying to force Victor and Logan to form a momentary truce just so they can take a good picture for the front page of a news paper (for mutant positivity reasons). Many fights ensue, and it takes over 60 attempts until a picture is taken where Victor is holding up a struggling Logan with a grin prepared to throw him, and the headline being "Sabretooth excited to reunite with little brother" or something.

Graydon meeting with Professor X to discuss the needs of mutants, and bumping into his cousin Laura, who hasn't forgiven him for his anti mutant days.

Professor X helping him with his inner trauma, and unpacking the trauma Mystique put him through, and the shame he felt knowing his parents were bad people, and being normal as the only thing he can cling to in efforts to avoid believing he's like them. How Graydon wants a family deep down, and actively hunted mutants to get attention from one or both his parents. How Graydon always wanted acceptance, and being abandoned caused a dilemma within him that lasted decades.

Graydon being forced to spend his holiday in Canada, and staying indoors at a cabin while Victor gathers firewood because he can't handle the snow.

Being forced to embrace his Canadian heritage.

Mortal Kombat Headcanons

Frost

Frost is going through a teenage rebellion of some kind. Yes, she's a bit old for one, but hey every person in their early 20's has a right to be immature. She feels a bit confused, dismissed and disrespected.

Kuai Liang was always her father figure, so Frost internalised and took the Shirai Ryu rivalry very seriously. So when Kuai Liang started making peace with Hanzo she didn't take it very well.

Frost has a wrapped sense of justice and logic thanks to her childhood, considering she killed her own mother. Before becoming a part of the Lin Kuei she lived in a bad environment. (If her mother is truly like Sindel we can only imagine and guess what that was like).

Rain flirts with her all the time, and he is genuinely interested in her. (Can we get her a boyfriend?)

Her acting out is her way of getting everyone's attention, and she believes it's a great way of proving herself.

Mileena

Mileena is desperate for a relationship with Kitana, so she's willing to be an antagonist so long as it means having her attention, but there's still resentment. Even with that resentment Mileena is somewhat caring and protective of her, judging on how she doesn't want Kitana and Liu Kang to marry.

She wants love, and lots of it. She thinks that by having the throne she will be given that love, since Shao Kahn was given it.

Mileena and Frost can become friends.

If things were different, her and Skarlet would get along well.

(Skarlet should've been the Jade to Mileena's Kitana. Why Netherrealm Studios? Why?)

Skarlet

Even though it was Shao Kahn that introduced her to bloodmagic, it was Shang Tsung that taught her how to cope with it. (Since he created her in the flesh pits before her backstory was retconned)

Skarlet experienced racism and classism during her early stay with Shao Kahn, and she longed for Kitana and Jade's respect. Due to their shunning she holds a harsh bitterness towards them.

Based on Rain's intro she is partially Edenian, but is mostly Outworld-ian.

Mileena and Skarlet would never admit it, but they both have a bit of a sibling bond with each other. But it's one of actual rivalry thanks to their narcissistic parental figures. Her infatuation with Shao Kahn is a sign that bloodmagic is slowly and surely leading to her insanity, before she did not view him in that way.

Erron Black is the only person she's had a relationship with. Ever since Erron she hasn't been in a relationship due to the fear of being hurt again, but she has been getting a certain Shaolin's eye on her. (I think Kung Lao was genuinely flattered when he said "We hardly know each other.")

Shang Tsung

He does feel some kind of care for Mileena, but in the end she is like a dish to be proud of and served instead of growing a bond with.

He gets a bit prideful from her accomplishments, though.

"Mileena would never do that thereafter. Mileena did you do that thereafter?"

When Skarlet was much younger she used to follow him around just to see how well he would perform magic in order to improve her own skill.

Noob Saibot

Noob/Bi Han takes a lot of things people say literally. Because of this he is the least antagonistic towards Johnny Cage.

His soul is enslaved so a lot of what he does is not the actual Bi Han, but he is sometimes able to break out of it to deliver a few lines.

He has mistakenly gotten into a few debates with Shang Tsung about the use of dark magic vs soul magic.

Kitana and Jade

Very classist and a bit racist, on Jade's part.

Were mean to Skarlet during their upbringing and intentionally isolated themselves from her.

As much as Kitana doesn't want to admit it, she is much like Shao Kahn.

Kitana is 17-19 in human years. Jade is 21-23.

(I like Kitana and Jade but there's things about them that I don't like)

I already wrote this in the comment section, but since it was reposted I'm going to guess that I'm supposed to repost and respond in the repost.

On my part, it's a one sided situation, where Budo finds out about Ayano and stops her or fights against the brainwashing. Literally anything. The whole point of most ships is that they don't make sense and most are done as a what if scenario and find that scenario more interesting than the canon. Also, Taro is boring as hell, that's why we say she dumps him and gets with anyone else. Doesn't just have to be Budo. We love the drama that could come from the 'what if'.

Even if we like Budo we're still gonna put him in a tough situation. I am very aware that Ayano is a hopeless psychopath and so is her mother. Hannibal Lector is also a hopeless psychopath, and a cannibal, but it doesn't stop people from shipping him with Will Graham. People will ship Hermione with Draco, and they will find ways to ship Mileena with any Mortal Kombat character simply just because they can. Or making up stories where a literal celebrity falls in love with the reader, which is a lot more insane in my opinion.

Shippers ship anything, whether it is simply because we have seen chemistry or we see potential in the littlest of things, or because some of us are sick (insert insult here). We don't really need a reason, we'll just do it because our creativity allows us to.

Yes, Ayano is not a good match for anyone. But we don't care so long as we can make an interesting story out of it. I may hate a character but I'll still ship them with someone.

Whenever I see people saying "Ayano should dump Taro's ass and go with Budo, he's SO MUCH BETTER than him!", I ask: ...why are you so desperate to see Budo go through what Jokichi was subjected to? Do you secretly hate him or are you just masochists? Ayano is not a good match for ANYONE.

ooh this is gonna be long

Yes you have a good point! Ayano isn't a good match for anyone and it doesn't make sense to suggest that she should be with Taro or that she should dump Taro and go for someone "better" because whoever she ends up with is doomed to live in captivity among other unpleasant things. So why would people say this?

1. They don't know the game's concept very well, especially evidenced by the fact that they think Ayano is in control of whoever it is that she's obsessed with. She isn't. Stands to reason that if they don't know that, they ALSO don't know that being Ayano's lover is definitely not a good thing.

2. They forgot to mention that they're talking about their AU/rewrite in which Ayano isn't a bad person. Like it's very clear that some people like to pretend that Yandere Simulator's problematic characters aren't problematic. What if the bullies weren't bullies? What if the delinquents weren't delinquents? What if Ayano is just a slightly more cunning than average schoolgirl experiencing her first crush? That makes the game more enjoyable to them so that's the lens through which they perceive it, and when they talk about it, that's what they mean.

3. They know exactly what they're talking about and they're curious about how Budo might respond to being put into such a situation. Wanting to see bad things happen to a character doesn't necessarily mean hating them. There are characters in Danganronpa that I think should die, but I don't hate them as much as I hate Vlad from Magicka. FUCK that conniving little "nyeh nyeh I'm not a vampire!" bastard. Point being, they may not hate Budo, but they might think that it would be more interesting to see Budo in that position than Taro.

So which is it? Honestly... I hope the first one, because it's the best compromise between non-offensive and actually realistic. I don't think it's the third solely because the focus is on what kind of guy Ayano deserves to be with, not on who would make a better Magic Senpai. The second one is just... guys, you know Yandere Simulator is gonna be an M Rated game, right? Bad people do bad things. Ayano isn't a good person, even if you play pacifist, because her aim is to take away another person's agency over their life. I've talked about this before with Info-chan but it applies to e v e r y problematic aspect of the game. But I can't really blame anyone who says that Ayano deserves Budo over Taro just out of ignorance. Realistically it's probably a mix of the first and second options tho.

Dear Supporter,

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Note: Verified by several people as 90-ghost and aces-and-angels. ☑

I got asked to spread the word, so here's my attempt to share this post with multiple fandoms.

Greasy Hair

Everyone knows how Snape's hair is greasy, and a large percent of the fandom kind of demonises that. I personally think there's nothing wrong with greasy hair, and I'm saying this as someone who hates putting gel. I wonder, what if he keeps it greasy on purpose?

Just a funny idea I came up with. Say Snape has a genetic magic thing where his hair has a mind of its own and moves around to disrupt whatever he's doing or randomly attacks people out of the blue, and the only way to keep the hair from moving is applying grease or gel on it everyday. Every Prince had to put gel on their hair, or some kind of sticky substance to keep their hair from getting out of control.

I have a thing for hair manipulation in general (as you would see in my alien reader post), but I couldn't help but think this would be a funny scenario. Like Malfoy has attempted at giving Snape a hair makeover only to have multiple strings of hair swatting his face with Snape calmly saying "It doesn't like strangers." after which his hair wasn't brought up again. If anyone in Malfoy's inner circle were to bring it up he would give them a panicked warning.

I'm probably projecting, might make a fanfic out of this.

This post is also a good excuse to put some Yukako gifs.

Clark Kent is Insane (Smallville)

I'm on the Smallville bandwagon, and I'm currently on season 7. I've seen some posts that find it unbelievable that people weren't interested in and crazy in love with Clark and stuff. I'm convinced that people stayed away from him because they thought he was crazy, or was that guy that always had something weird happening to him. It's obvious that Clark is attractive, but there's also another side to it besides his looks.

Clark would find himself in situations that would make people scratch their heads. Put yourselves in the perspective of the Smallville citizens.

I'm going to give some examples from season 1 (can't remember which episode)

Clark's powers get transferred to another boy named Eric Summers, and once Eric finds out about these abilities he exploits them. Clark tries to talk Eric into not being a bad person, and that ends with Clark getting smashed into the top of a car, bleeding from his nose and all. A lot of his school mates saw that, and word apparently travels fast in small towns. Everyone certainly found out.

In another episode, Earl Jenkins (played by Tony Todd) is a victim of the Luthors, and while Clark's class is on a school trip, the character holds the students hostage in order to threaten the Luthors. Whatever experiments Luthor corp did on him makes him shake violently, and anything he comes into contact with will shake uncontrollably as well (can't remember if it results in death). It's best to stay away from this guy. What does Clark do? Try's to speak to the guy and convince him not to do this, and stuff like that. Basically, the same thing he did with Eric Summers. It doesn't get him heavily injured, but it could've made things worse.

Clark would also go through a thing where his personality flips. Not knowing he's on red kryptonite, everyone probably felt like they were interacting with a completely different person, but with Clark's face. Everyone's just like "Clark Kent is letting his intrusive thoughts win?" And he would mysteriously forget what's transpired (due to switching bodies or his mind being taken over). He would be genuinely confused, and is frighteningly proceeding as if nothing's happened, despite being aware that something wrong has taken place, thanks to him or involving him.

When Clark accidentally causes his mum's miscarriage, the first thing he does is crashout. He puts on the red kryptonite and rides of to Metropolis. I'm pretty sure he was gone for months, robbing from atms and getting into fights with people.

When Nathan Dean (the banshee guy) showed up (around season 3-ish), Clark lost his sight temporarily... even though it's everyone's ears that suffered. That's weird.

Onwards, Clark would suspiciously be at the scene of a crime or some kind of incident. He's always involved in police business, and playing "investigator" with Chloe and Pete. Always on his way to save people, and do something that everyone will immediately think is stupid.

Around season 3 or 4, Clark marries Alicia. A literal stalker who tried to harm Lana Lang (the it girl of Smallville). Once he comes back from his honeymoon, looking all guilty, everyone whispers while side eyeing him. And of all things Mr and Mrs Kent are mad about, it's the fact that Clark married illegally (both Alicia and him were underage), and that he disregarded how sacred marriage is (even though he was on red kryptonite). That was terrible writing, but I don't remember them being too angry about Alicia.

There's also that time (can't remember if it was season 5 or 6) when Clark and Lois crash Lex and Lana's dinner party where they're celebrating their engagement. Clark and Lois are dressed as bikers, informal leather jacket outfits. They must've looked insane to everyone at that party, Lex especially. And then Clark proceeded to ruin the pregnancy announcement for Lex and Lana (he did it for the lolz).

Every time Clark is doing (or about to do) something everyone is probably side eyeing him, and thinking "What's he about to do this time?"

What's worse is that his parents don't seem to be doing anything about it. They don't appear to be worried about the fact that he might potentially be having occasional psychotic breaks, and other mental disorders going on with him. He's got main character syndrome, and a hero complex. Insert other mental disorders and illnesses of your choosing, because I'm not a psychiatrist nor am I trained in knowing about mental health.

If the writers intended on this, knowing that they couldn't make Tom Welling look like a pathetic dork, then it's a good call. Can't make him dweebish? Make him look insane. Even if Clark was a nerd, and looked like one, everyone would still be fawning over him (me especially). But fawning over a crazy person is risky because of how unpredictable they are. Not only that, but we've seen girls fawn over him before, albeit harbouring bad intent (to some degree for most). And of course, Chloe was super interested in him, and Lana would get jealous and shocked from whatever relationship he had outside of her, even when she was with another guy.

That's my Smallville theory.

Twlight Headcanons + Fancasts

After years of only seeing the movies I'm finally reading the book. First one only. The reason why I'm not acknowledging the other books is because I heard Stephanie Meyer purposefully made Jacob unlikable so that the readers would vouch for Edward more.

Bailey Bass as Bella Swan

She's mix raised: I started reading Bella as black because of how much of myself I saw as her and as the chapters went on her skin became darker.

She's autistic: Edward is her special interest and it doesn't help that she has trouble regulating her emotions. She definitely got them from Charlie.

She has aphantasia: The inability to imagine things. She still has thoughts, she just can't imagine. Not the reason why she's a shield though. The reason I think this is because I've come across many memes saying there's nothing going on in her head.

Renee is an abusive parent: She moved in with Charlie in an effort to get away from Renee. She's willing to suffer bad weather if it means no longer being parentified. What's worse is that Bella wasn't even looking after any children, she was looking after her own mother.

Jin Akanishi as Edward Cullen

He's 1/4 Japanese on his mother's side: I was trying my best not to imagine Robert Pattinson and the result ended up with me imagining Yoon Ji-hoo from Boys Over Flower (Korean ver). So yes, Edward is Asian.

He's a monster: I actually like the idea of Edward being quite evil, because let's face it he is in canon, but he prefers being a poser. He's evil in that typical vampire way where their humanity is almost gone.

Thinks Bella is cute when she's angry: Enjoys banter with Bella, so long as it's not misplaced.

Dakota Beavers as Jacob Black

He and Bella can relate: With the difference being that Billy isn't abusive.

Wolf: There's a spiritual side to it as well. Jacob isn't very in tune with his spiritual side, but he does occasionally try to communicate with his ancestors.

Little brother figure: Bro is 15 there's no way he's ending up with Bella. I think the conflict between him and Edward should lean onto Edward being dangerous with Jacob being protective rather than most of being relationship wise. Things between Jacob and Bella should always be platonic.

How the Devil Gene in canon still works after Tekken 7

From what most Tekken enjoyers understand is that the Devil gene was retconned. But what if there was a way to watch all endings and past revelations without getting confused? Which brings my presentation. 

How the Devil Gene in canon still works after Tekken 7

To be clear, I haven't refreshed my memory of what went down in the storyline but I remember the basics, so feel free to call out any incorrectness. Most of this is just a ramble and I wanted to show it to anybody who would read it, along with using a bunch of gifs for artistic reasons.

When Kazuya was a small boy his father (Heihachi) threw him off a cliff, in Tekken 7 it is because Kazuya tried to fight him after Heihachi killed Kazumi, his mother. The reason Heihachi killed her is because he found out she came from a family of devil genes (or something). 

I don't think Kazuya was raised to know what the Devil gene was, so when Devil made himself present he naturally made a deal with Kazuya out of instinct of knowing what itself was but not the family history. Kind of like a kitten having the same tendencies as its parents but was taken from the litter and mother it belonged to. I think you guys know what I mean here.

I theorise that the gene itself isn't present until something tragic and emotionally distressing activates it. At least that may be the case for those with it who go untrained not knowing that they have it, I don't know how it must've been for Kazumi. Devil Jin was activated through stress, and whilst Jin was in his teens, while Devil K grew with Kazuya.

Dude's mum just disappeared and the person that's supposed to protect him betrays him with the actual intent to harm. I think Heihachi throwing Kazuya was kind of a disciplinary thing, because Kazuya still grew up with Heihachi, while Jin was left for dead. But Kazuya was 8-10 (poor memory) when he got thrown off, so his emotional/mental tolerance was... lesser. Not to say Jin losing his mum at an older age wasn't just as traumatic, but teenagers and children are different. Jun's presence also must also have something to do with it, as Devil Jin tries to resist her good powers.

Devil Jin must've been waiting to appear for quite some time, in the back of Jin's mind watching everything. What we know of Devil Jin is that he's an absolute menace to society and a typical delinquent teenager. He's very playful in comparison to Devil Kazuya's maturity. He takes his time being a menace, knowing Jin would take control eventually. TTT2's special win poses between Devil K/Kazuya and Devil J make Devil K/Kazuya look a disapproving father. From DJ firing his laser out of control and flying away, with DK either crossing his arms or showing no reaction.

In Tekken 4 the Devil in Kazuya says that he lost a part of himself and wants to take it back. In a way, when you put in the whole genetic thing he's kind of not wrong. Devil K is acknowledging that he has a son but not to the full grasp that he should. We all know how DNA works, reproduction, ect.

Devil K however believes that 'part of himself' should be taken back, not getting that the gene is in Jin's blood. While I do believe Jun was protecting Jin, I don't think that's why his body rejected the gene getting taken away. Now, as seen with Kazuya's TTT2 ending he can absorb the evil off others for his own gain which is what he did to Unknown. Thing is, Unknown is more of a possession rather than an 'in the blood' situation. Sure TTT2 isn't canon, but it has shown 'what if' scenarios. Not only that, but we see Zafrina use Azazel's ball thing for her own use.

So the Devil gene is still a thing, and it started out as just that, a gene. They can take power away from other forms of evil, but not their own family members. That may have been why Kazumi wanted Kazuya killed, because Devil couldn't be taken away from him, and she's no Jun Kazama or Angel so it's not like she could take it away from him. Not to defend her or anything, just saying.