So, You Want A Hotwife?

The following happened on October 6, 2019, and this is how I wrote it up back then:

My boyfriend likes to go play basketball with his friends and I like to go watch and support him.  Sometimes its just them shooting around, but usually it gets busy and they end up in a game with random people.  So when he’s not in the game we hang out and when he’s in the game I watch or go on my phone if it’s boring me.

I always dress to show off for my baby.  Even before our “arrangement” I’d dress extra sexy when we went there.  He always pointed me out to other guys and I think I gave him some kind of “cred”.  That didn’t stop them from hitting on me though.  More than a few times he’s let a ball go right by him when he was staring over to see who I was flirting with, but I was always a good girl and never left with another guy.

I’ve gotten much more flirtatious with the other guys lately.  My boyfriend didn’t tell me it was okay to do it, but he never told me not to do it.  Obviously I focus my attention on the black guys and they flirt pretty hardcore.  They put their hands on me right in front of him.  I’ve even had a few grab my ass.  I enjoy playing up the role of good girlfriend who’s just flirting and having fun, but one time it went further.

A Black guy I’d been flirting with told me to meet him back there some night my boyfriend wasn’t gonna be there.  I told him I don’t cheat on my boyfriend. He told me he wasn’t asking me to cheat, he just wanted to spend more time getting to know me.  I told him he had me right then and there, so let’s just chat now.  He said he was hoping to do a little more than chat.  “Like what kinda more are you talking about?” I asked.  “Meet me here tomorrow night and I’ll show you.” He persisted as I kept shooting him down.  

I saw my boyfriend paying more attention to me than the game and I motioned to him by flipping my head and eyes over to the parking lot with a slight point of my finger to try and ask if he’d mind if I took a walk with my new friend.  He put his hands up like a slight shrug, which I took as consent.

So I got up with my ass in his face, looked down and told him to follow me.  I led him over to the parking lot near the back corner of the court where there was a bit of privacy between my boyfriend’s truck and another one.  I told him, “alright, you got me alone so now what?”

It looked like tiny little me made him a little nervous. 

“My boyfriend can’t see us…” I said as he kept looking back toward the court.  “You don’t care your boy is right over there?” he asked with what seemed to be one last attempt to make sure I wanted something to happen.  

“Nope.  It’s more exciting with him over there, isn’t it?”  I said as my hands went straight down to feel his hard cock through his basketball shorts.  He was tall enough, maybe 6′3″ that I (5′1″) could just stand and lean down a bit to pull him out and take him into my mouth.  He was still sweaty from the game, but it just turned me on more.  His scent was so musky and taste extra salty, but in a sexy, animalistic way.  

After sucking and slurping and gagging lightly on his Big Black Cock, I looked up at him and told him to cum in my mouth.  I reached down to massage his balls as I worked as much of his cock down my throat as I could, sucking hard and drooling harder until he gave it to me.  Shooting so much hot cum that I almost choked on it, but I sucked and swallowed, swallowed and sucked until the last drop.  I stood up and wiped the mix of drool and cum from my chin.  

I got his number and punched it into my phone, but since I didn’t remember his name from earlier I just punched him in as BBC Basketball. I still don’t know his name even though I saw him one more time after that.

With his cum still fresh on my lips, I went back first to the game, but he stayed back a while.  My boyfriend was still in the game, but as soon as he was done he came over and I gave him a big sloppy kiss.  “I love you, baby” I told him as he looked at me wondering what I just did and asked, “where’d you go?”  

I could see the desperation in his eyes. Not jealousy or anger… The kind of desperation a cuckold gets when he suspects his Goddess has a new adventure to share with him. 

“Don’t worry,” I said, “I’ll tell you all the details later.”  

My sweet baby smiled at me like it was Christmas morning as the taste of sweat and cum from that strangers Black cock passed from my lips to his. God, I love sharing that taste with him.

XoXo Jenny

I'd love to hear some naughty confessions. Feel free to message me tell me what you've done what you want to do

You can even tell me what you would like to do to me 😜

A guide to entering the Hotwife lifestyle

So you are now one of the millions of women who learned she has a husband with fantasies about you having sex with other men. Welcome to our club. Hopefully you’re past the shock. Maybe you have even reached that point where there is no need for me to tell you how lucky you are. If you’re not then you WILL reach that point if you follow what other wives like me have learned. If you’re like most of us, you were unaware that your husband had these desires. You were living the married life thinking that you knew your husband better than he knew himself. Ha! Too funny. Depending on how long you’ve been married, things may or may not have cooled off in the bedroom. Face it. The rut comes to every bedroom. If it hasn’t don’t be lulled into thinking it won’t happen to you. Some of you may have already had affairs or even had thoughts of leaving your husband out of sheer boredom. Then you somehow found out about his secret fantasy, and hopefully decided that there is a solution for the both of you. Lucky you, even if you don’t know it yet. He wants you to have sex with another man. Wow. Unsure about it? Don’t feel alone. I did too. But take a moment and think about the potential. See all of those other unhappy women out there in boring, sexless marriages? See all those other women around you having affairs, lying to themselves and their husbands, and risking messy divorces? Don’t laugh at them. They were once you, or could have been you. But now you will end up different from them. If you read this and follow it you’re going to find yourself on a road that will return you to sexual fulfillment, feeling as confident as when you were first married, in love with your husband again and appreciating him more than ever. You are on the way to becoming a Hot Wife. A Hot Wife is a woman who is free to have sex with others with her husband’s knowledge, approval and encouragement. The level of her husband’s involvement can vary. In fact it will be up to YOU. Some wives play completely on their own, with no interaction with her husband. Others enjoy their husband watching or participating. However, in all these relationships the wife is free to play with others, while the husband remains completely monogamous and faithful only to her. Sound crazy? Well believe me when I tell you it is easy to do and your sex life will be better than you imagine. In this new relationship the husband is often called a cuckold, which just means a man with a cheating wife. Of course cheating is a misnomer, since the wife’s actions are not hidden from the husband, and he is very aware of her activities. In fact his awareness and approval is one of the most important ingredients. It will turn him on like nothing you’ve ever done before. I assume you’re reading this because you’ve finally found out about your husband’s desires and you are contemplating the Hot Wife lifestyle. Good for you, but you may want some advice. First, go slowly. Do not rush it. Having a husband that enjoys this lifestyle is different, so you need to nurture the relationship first and foremost, while moving into the lifestyle slowly. It might take time before you are comfortable having full on sex in front of him, or he may take time to become accustomed to watching or knowing you are out being intimate with other men. What you want to do is encourage his desires for you to be with other men, and make it as pleasurable for him as it is for you. If you go slowly and follow my advice, in time you will have a husband that will let you do anything sexually. Anything! And he will want you to do more. He will find himself anticipating it as much as you (maybe more than you). He will get his sexual satisfaction from YOUR encounters with other men, and most importantly he will be drawn to you like never before, and more in love with you than at any time in your marriage! In the Hot Wife lifestyle there are three levels of involvement for your husband: 1. You meet other men alone with no involvement from your husband. He may never know them or meet the other men in your life. You meet them on your own, and make all arrangements without any approval from your husband. The other men may or may not know about your lifestyle, or be aware that your husband knows about them. They may not even know you’re married, if you choose to remove your rings and pretend to be single. 2. You meet other men together with your husband, with him knowing them, and them knowing of him. However any interaction between both men is more on a social or perhaps friendship level. Your husband is not involved in any sexual activities between you and the other man. Your husband could even be the one who finds other men or helps make arrangements for you to meet them (your “dates”). But your husband is not included in your sexual encounters, except possibly left to hear them via an open phone call while they are happening. 3. Having sexual relations with other men in your husband’s presence, or even engaging in some sexual play that involves all three of you, ménage à trois style. In the classic cuckold arrangement you engage in sexual play with your lover while your husband watches, but he does not play at all. As an extension of this situation, there can be involvement of the husband in the classic ménage-a-trois arrangement, or traditional three ways. This could involve any degree of sex, which all three agree upon. Some wives prefer their husband be involved sexually and that is your choice. As you will see this will all become about YOUR preferences. Any of these levels can be appropriate, depending on the couple and what they prefer. It’s important to know where you, and to a lesser extent your husband, wish to take things, so open communication is important to establish your goals and boundaries. Just make sure that the “other” man fully understands everything as well. It’s important for him to know upfront where he fits into the couple’s relationship. It’s also important that he respect any boundaries you set out (you set the boundaries, NOT your husband). With proper techniques, a new Hot Wife can quickly learn how to get the most from her sexual encounters AND help her husband find new levels of pleasure from a more passive role than he is likely to have experienced earlier in your marriage. This takes time though, as most husbands are accustomed to being the spouse in charge. As you begin, you MUST remember one very important fact. Hot Wife is not just about sex. It’s also about CONTROL. If you are like most women, your husband has been in control so far in your marriage. Right? Well, now you can change that. Hot Wife is about what YOU want. YOUR sexual pleasure. YOUR sexual control. I know it sounds strange. But once you’ve experienced it you WILL enjoy it immensely! Think YOU not HIM. As selfish as it may sound at first, doing so will turn him on more than anything you’ve ever done yet! The change in you by itself will begin to arouse him. Now, here’s what to do the first few times. After that, once you’ve got a taste of it (and he’s thirsty for more), you can do as you damn well please. After all, you are the Hot Wife! (You won’t read stuff like this anywhere else.) Remember rule #1 - The goal is for YOU to be in control of the sex, not him. You do what you want; when you want; and how you want; with whom you want and have him go along with it. Got it? First, you have to set the groundwork from the beginning. If you do it right, he will be totally faithful and a perfect husband to you, as he learns to get his sexual satisfaction in the lifestyle as a result of YOUR being satisfied. Meanwhile you can have fun with your new freedom and let out the little slut that’s bottled up inside every woman. DON’T let him decide what kind of sex or how much sex or who you should have sex with. Remember this - NO CHOICE and NO VOICE. He should have no say in whether or not you jack a man off, or if you chose to screw the entire staff of Starbucks. He should have no say in whether you go out to another mans home, or bring a man into your bedroom. He should have no say in when it happens, or whom you choose. Once you allow him to have a say, then you let the control slip back to him. That’s NOT what you want. You want to be the one in control. Trust me, YOU will love it once it happens, and HE will too (even if he doesn’t know why). When you decide you’re going to go out and meet someone, or have someone over, just tell your husband, in a very matter of fact tone. Don’t give him a choice in the matter. Say, “I’m having someone over tomorrow evening and we’re going to spend some time in bed.” Or say, “I’m going out with someone Friday night and I plan to go home with him afterward”. That’s it. You can share as many details as you want (before and after) but don’t let him try to influence you or allow him to shape the event. Be firm. Make it clear that you are making the decision because it’s what you want. Take control of your sexuality and control that aspect of your relationship for that night. Send the message that you’re in charge. If you want, it’s fine to tell him what’s going to happen before you do it. That is a big part of the excitement for many couples. Share all of the details you wish. But the idea is to show him that you’ve made a decision based on YOUR needs and desires, and his needs are secondary to your needs right now. Show him that you’re a horny woman who’s taken charge of getting yourself satisfied without him. The idea that you will go to another man for your sexual fulfillment will drive him crazy with lust for you (trust me!). It’s also important to keep him involved every step of the way. Share everything. Depending on your relationship level, you may want to keep him abreast of your discussions with the other man, share details of your plans, etc. It’s important to keep him involved, but as a SPECTATOR and NOT a participant. This creates a sexually charged experience for him, even before you have ANY sex at all! If you are having thoughts about calling someone to meet this weekend, tell him. Let the suspense and excitement build. It’s a game. Share it with him and it will excite you BOTH. When the big day arrives to meet a man, be deliberately aloof and distant from your husband the entire day. Give him some tasks to keep him busy, maybe something that helps prepare for your evening. Perhaps send him out to buy a nice bottle of wine, or tidy up around the household. Many couples enjoy the ritual of the husband helping the wife prepare herself for a date. You can have him help you bathe or shower, and dry you off. Have him put on your panties and stockings. I talk to my husband and tease him, I tell him to get me ready for the other man’s cock, etc. Doing this lays the groundwork early on. It puts you in charge and creates an atmosphere where he begins to mentally relinquish his rights to you, as part of turning you over to another man. Doing this also reinforces the new power you have. It will also make the sex more intense between the two of you during the next few days, when he takes charge of you again. It’s an important part of the game that has powerful appeal, and helps bond you together. If you are having a man over, have your husband arrange the areas where you will entertain (living room, bedroom, ect). Dim the lights. Light some candles and put on some quiet music as you wait. If he will be present in the bedroom, have him prepare an area off to the side from where he will watch. When the man arrives, EVERYTHING should change. Discuss beforehand what your husband’s role will be. Assuming that he remains present, there are certain things you can do to set the tone, and create an unforgettable night for him AND you. First, have it prearranged for him to sit somewhere out of the way, so that you and your lover can carry on as if your husband is NOT THERE AT ALL (this is VERY important). I usually tell the other man to ignore my husband. After the early pleasantries my husband seldom interacts with us at all. The excitement of experiencing a new man sexually, while at the same time turning on the man I love, is difficult to explain but incredibly exciting. When the man arrives at your home, don’t be timid and make small talk for an hour. This is a common mistake. It’s too awkward to prolong things. Everyone knows he’s there for sex. There’s no reason to delay. Since it’s all about sex, look for the first chance to break the ice and get started. This is part of your “take charge” persona that comes with the control you’ve assumed. Show your desire for the other man by initiating intimacy while your husband watches. If I know him from previous dates I often give a full kiss to my “date” right in the doorway and linger, perhaps even lightly rub his crotch a bit, giving him a chance to return the grope. Then I walk him into the living room, with my husband either following or already waiting for us. Depending on the man, I sometimes prefer to have an adult video playing on the TV with the volume turned down, and pleasant music playing lightly in the background. With a nice glass of wine this is a sure-fire way to get things going without much delay. You can linger there if you want, or wildly strip off your clothes and jump on him, or lead him to the bedroom. It’s up to you. You’re the Hot Wife. Some women like to tease their husbands for a while. Others just like to plop down in the doorway and start sucking within seconds. It’s up to you. Do what turns YOU on. YOU are in charge. Some wives like to NOT look at or talk to their husband AT ALL, especially during the first few times he watches. But some husbands want their wives to look them in the eye while they’re enjoying their new lover. It can be very exciting to tell your husband how GOOD it feels, how much BIGGER he is than your husband, and how much BETTER the sex feels. Cuckold husbands want their hotwives to have the BEST sexual experience of their lives, so let him know that is what you are getting. It can be extremely sexy either to ask if it’s OK for your lover to cum inside of you, or for your husband to hear you TELL your lover to cum inside of you. And be sure to let your husband know each and every time you orgasm with your new lover. On the other hand, you can try to totally PRETEND HE’S NOT THERE. Some watching husbands love this. They like to think they are anonymously watching you have a secret sexual affair. But in any case, they want to see you lost with your lover, while they get a front row seat to the best live porn they will ever experience. Here’s more advice for the first few times. ENJOY yourself! Don’t be shy or act inhibited. Don’t be afraid to moan and scream and cry out with passion. Pay attention to your lover exactly like you would if you were totally alone with him. Many women feel inhibited and reserved with their husband watching, but this hinders what you want to accomplish. He wants to see you in the throes of wild passion, without a care in the world (least of all worrying about your husband). It may take you some time to do it, but putting him out of your mind should be your goal. Here’s another tip - treat your lover like you treated your husband WHEN YOU WERE DATING. Ladies, you know what this means. Let your slut come out! Plenty of oral sex. Plenty of fucking. Multiple times if possible. Give him all he wants, until he can’t see straight and you can’t walk straight! When he’s done, continue to pamper him EXACTLY as you would your husband, right up until the goodnight kiss at the door. After he leaves, you think you’re done and now it’s time for some sleep? Surprise girl! It’s not close to being over yet. The next step is VERY important if you want to keep doing this. It’s important that your husband support your Hot Wife life, and that he be behind you all the way. So, even if you’re tired, you must immediately turn ALL your attention to your husband. Turn off the distant, sex-starved Hot Wife games you played earlier and become ALL HIS AGAIN! Let him reclaim you as his own. Reassure him that you’re still his wife and that you love him even MORE for allowing you this night of pleasure! Depending on the couple, you may or may not have sex right away, or even for days after (this is up to you two). He may even have masturbated earlier, while watching you. I know some husbands who just watch without a hard-on but then end up fucking their wives like madmen for days after the date. Many husbands will want to perform CLEAN UP duty. This is where the husband licks the lovers cum from the wife’s pussy or off of her breasts. It can be EXTREMELY arousing for both involved! It’s a primal reaction serving to both reclaim the wife and show the husband’s subservience to her pleasure. But even though they desire this, most husbands will not do this on their own. Your husband may want you to ORDER HIM to perform clean up duty. This maintains the woman’s sexual dominance in all areas of the Hot Wife lifestyle. But each relationship is different. Do what’s right for you two. But as soon as the other man departs you must be right back in your husband’s arms and become his wife and lover again. Make sure he receives the love and pleasure and release he needs to REINFORCE his desire to watch you do it again. Over the next few days, reassure him that you love him and care about him, that you’re his wife forever. Most importantly, remind him that you LOVE the fact that he lets enjoy this lifestyle. Tell him how much you enjoyed that night. Tease him while replaying the night over and over. Tell him you can’t wait to do it again. Tell him how self-assured and unique he is to be able to share you the way he does, and how you appreciate the freedom he gives you. Chances are you’ll be having great sex with your husband for weeks after he watches, and he will be more attentive and loving than he was before you started these games. That’s just another benefit of the lifestyle. When that happens, you’ll become hooked on the Hot Wife lifestyle, and so will he. If you do this, the lifestyle will become an important part of your sexual relationship and it will grow into the most exciting sex life you’ve ever enjoyed together. In time, his most intense sexual pleasure will come from you HAVING SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE, as crazy as that might sound. And what could be better for you? You get to take charge of your sex life. You get to explore new sexual horizons most married women never experience. Your husband will love and adore you more than he ever has, and you BOTH stay sexually fulfilled. There is so much to experience in this lifestyle that you’ll never be bored. If you lay the right groundwork and do it correctly from the beginning, you can have a supportive, open-minded husband and the freedom to do whatever you want with his blessing. To me, there is no better marriage than one that is open and sexually permissive. Without my loving husband involved in my new life, I would probably have long ago been divorced and miserable by now. So get out there and get started.

Memes are NOT real life…

Can we make an effort to create and promote better lifestyle content?

I’m tired of seeing all these repetitive posts with the same unrealistic Hotwife captions that are clearly written by porn-addicted men. No woman is telling strangers to “fill their slutty married pussy with hot cum”. I get that most people come to these blogs for fantasy, but it’s really damaging to actual couples who dabble in the lifestyle. It sets unrealistic expectations and creates a pool of unqualified suitors when real couples are looking for another man to join them.

No, a Hotwife is not a cum dump.

No, a Hotwife does not fuck anyone with a big dick.

No, a Hotwife is not just a fuck toy for your pleasure.

No, a Hotwife does not fuck some one else every chance she gets.

I’d love to see more blogs create realistic images and captions that reflect real relationships.

*rant over*

Business Trip

This business trip I’ve decided to try something different.
I travel for work often but never flirt with associates. 
But I decided this seminar was going to be boring so it would be ok to get my flirt on.
Dave was one of the guys who started chatting with me almost immediately and he is good looking, tall with a boyish charm.
We’d had lunch and a few breaks together and conversation, with some light flirting, flowed.
Yesterday he asked if I’d have dinner with him at the hotel restaurant.
I readily agreed but asked if he’d be interested in the Italian place a few blocks away. He said sure and I told him I had to take care of some office stuff but I’d be ready about 6:30 and to meet me in the lobby then.
Dinner went well and we were finished and heading back to the hotel, hand in hand, by 9:30.
Back in the lobby he asked if I would join him for a drink in the bar. “I’d love to”’, I said, “but I need to go to my room, call my husband and freshen up a bit. Come with me”, I said, “I won’t be long.”
In the elevator I told him I had a great time and stretched to give him a kiss on the cheek.
I excused myself to the bathroom and told him to make himself at home.
I finished up and he was sitting at the room desk with a glass of water. I grabbed my Bluetooth and told him this won’t take long as I called my husband.
The conversation went as it always does, “how are things, is the seminar good, meet any interesting people?” … I told him a group went out for Italian and I’m up in my room going to bed soon.
At that, Dave smiled. That’s when I surprised him by walking over to him, dropped to my knees and began undoing his belt. I pulled his cock from his boxer briefs and began stroking and licking him.
I have never done anything like this before, one, one the phone with my husband, and two, a work person.
I always keep work and social life separate.
Dave was hard right away and I’m still on the phone with my husband.
I stood and turned around and had Dave undo the zipper to my dress.
I turned again so I could watch him as I slid the dress off my shoulders. He was quite surprised when he saw I was braless. Having small boobs,I can easily get away with that.
I sat at the edge of the bed and Dave came over and started to take my panties off. I must have done or said something because my husband asked what I was doing.
I told him I was just getting undressed because once I’m off the phone I’m hopping into bed. At that he let me go. As soon as I hung up, Dave’s tongue was on my pussy. And he was very good.
Dave fucked me twice last night. It was sensual, it was primal, and it was a solid fucking.
He’s already texted me this morning and asked if I’d like round two.

Watch this all the way through.  You will LOVE it!

Techniques for Hotwives: by my wife

I absolutely love being a hotwife. One of the best parts for me is driving my husband insane with lust for me by giving him just the right blend of teasing and reassurance. Not only do I get the freedom and variety of choosing my own sexual partners, but I also get a husband who burns with desire for me. For the purpose of this entry I’m going to use the term hotwife for any wife with permission to play, cuckoldress for a hotwife who emphasizes her dominance in the sexual relationship, huband for the hotwife’s primary partner (could easily be a fiance or boyfriend), and lover for the other sex partner who’s not the husband.

Here are some techniques I regularly use that I’ve found hotwives and cuckoldresses can use to make their encounters extra fun for their husbands and for themselves.

When Husband is Watching You with Another Man

Eye Contact* - Nothing will arouse and tease your husband like strong eye contact with him. Eye contact says, “Look at me!” and makes it impossible for either of you to ignore or trivialize what’s going on. Eye contact can be gentle or fierce, depending on your style and the message you’re trying to send. I prefer to lock eyes for a long time, then wink or smile right before I look away. I like to lock eyes with my husband while I’m blowing my lover.

Smile* - Smiling is both a tease and a reassurance. It says both, “Look how much fun I’m having!” and “Everything is OK.” I love to smile at him when I’m riding my lover cowgirl-style.

Say Something* - You don’t have to jabber away, but it’s fun to say things now and then. I love dirty talk with my lover while my husband’s watching. I also like to interact with him, asking, “How are you liking the show?” or “Don’t you wish you were doing this?” I also encourage my lover to talk about how good everything feels and how much fun he’s having. Moaning, screaming, crying, laughing, giggling, etc. are all great things to do, too. It’s also cute to call you husband by terms of endearment like honey, baby, etc. when you’re being fucked by another man.

Dress Up* - High heel shoes, lingerie, nicely done nails, and perfume all say, “I’m putting effort into looking fucking hot for my lover!” You husband will be aroused by your appearance and jealous of the effort to look good for another guy.

When Husband is Listening from Another Room

Go Nuts* - Scream, cry, moan, laugh, beg, talk dirty, giggle, and slurp. Encourage your lover to slap your butt. These sounds will float through the closed door and to your husband’s ears, driving him wild with desire and jealousy.

Emerge, then Vanish* - Take a break from fucking. Go out into the room where your husband is: hair a mess, makeup smeared. Have a glass of water. Say hi to your husband. Then, go back to the bedroom. Close the door. Lock it.

Make a Movie* - Film your bedroom romp. Hook the camera in your room to the TV in the room where he’s sitting so he can watch live feed! He’ll be scratching at the door in no time.

When Husband is Not Around

Call Him* - It’s fun to call him and put the phone on speaker phone while you’re getting railed. Then, husband can listen! Even more fun (for you cuckoldresses) is let your other guy call from his phone instead. It’s more humiliating.

Texts* - Like above, but text dirty things. What you’re doing, feeling, etc. Have your other guy send husband dirty pics of what you’re doing.

Get Caught* - I love having my husband walk in on me when he’s not expecting anything. Just make sure that you know he’d be OK with this, and that your lover is also OK with this. Some people don’t like surprises.

Leave Evidence* - Your lingerie lying around the bed, sex toys on the nightstand, or a condom in the garbage all remind your husband of what you were doing in his absence.

Make a Movie (pt. 2)* - Film your bedroom romp and leave the recording on the nightstand for him.

Hotwife Lifestyle - Understanding Our Man’s Hotwife Fantasy and How to Use That to Our Advantage

The fantasy of having a “Hotwife” is growing, in fact, research shows it is growing at a higher rate than a good majority of the other lifestyle alternatives, including the old staple of “swinging” and the modern “open relationship”.  Why is it that a fantasy that revolves around only one part of a relationship – the woman – going out and finding pleasure from another man more intriguing to an increasing number of men than going out and “getting some” for himself?  

Basic psychology tells us that men are highly competitive creatures.  They have a drive to compete with other males of the species for the best mate – this isn’t so much different than what happens in the animal kingdom.  Most men have an innate drive to compete with other men when it comes to the “best mate” or the “most attractive woman”.  With this being said, one of the reservations of most women who find out about their husband or partner’s Hotwife fantasy is that he is somehow “weaker” than the rest because he wants to give up his position as your only partner.  Is this really true, though?  Could the truth lie somewhere within today’s man’s loss of natural competition in everyday life, and a desire to maintain a level of competition after marriage or “monogamy”?  Is this weakness, or rather the ultimate confidence?  

Cuckholding aside, because this aspect of the fantasy requires a bit more in terms of a “woman led” relationship, and a bit more from the man in terms of a desire for mental sadomasochism, a good majority of men enjoy the idea that they have been able to “capture” the best mate and even when she’s out having amazing physical and emotional experiences with men who may have qualities that actually supersede their own – a better body, a larger cock, youth, more prowess in bed – their woman actually WANTS to come back to them at the end of the night.  While most Hotwife-Husbands do get some level of turn-on from the jealousy and the possibility that their Hotwife may actually be enjoying their dates more than they enjoy being “at home”, the overwhelming desire is the competition and the “win” in terms of having a wife who chooses them again and again even after being allowed to go out and have other men.  

As Hotwives, we may be the focus of the fantasy, but there is that deeper and more psychological desire of a man who, even after committing to one woman, is able to compete with other males sexually.  This is why the desire for “reclaiming” a Hotwife after a date is so strong – it’s actually been scientifically proven that men who are able to reclaim a partner after she has been with someone else have an increase in testosterone levels, which means stronger desire, more powerful erections, longer lasting erections, and an overall stronger sex drive.  So, what does this mean for us as Hotwives?

He Enjoys the Jealousy, Go with It

As women we’ve learned that inducing some jealousy can actually be a good thing when it comes to dating – before we’ve found our “person”.  We use our female prowess to keep the men who we are seeing guessing…why?  Because they seem more interested in us when it seems as though we may not be 100% there.  So, if this works in the dating world, why wouldn’t it work once we’re married? In contrast, women typically don’t respond as well, or in the same way to jealousy – we tend to worry, question, and sometimes shut down if we feel that he might be “just not that into us”.  Naturally, because of our own feelings on the matter, we tend to avoid making our men jealous once we’ve committed to them, because we, ourselves don’t want to feel as though we’re in constant competition with other, more attractive, sexier, younger, etc., women.  Why would we do something to the man that we love that we, ourselves, would hate?

For men, though, and especially those with Hotwife fantasies, jealousy is a big component and tool for us to keep our men hot and bothered.  Sometimes just the mere mention of being flirted with by that cute guy at our favorite restaurant, or our interest in the sexy personal trainer at the gym is enough to send our men into a sexual frenzy.  It doesn’t take a lot to feed the fantasy.  It’s not ALL about dates and recounting how well we got worked over in the bedroom (and how much we loved it), though that is the ultimate turn on for our men, it’s also about the little things – the mention of our interest in someone else, the sexy messages that we send to potential lovers or Bulls, the “tease” of how much we loved what our last Bull did for us and how much we’re looking forward to doing it again.  Remember, this ignites the “competition” element of things, which is natural for men.

The More You Enjoy it, the More He Enjoys it

You may be thinking, “But I’m doing it for him, I’m not doing it for myself” (a common theme by A LOT of Hotwives), but in reality, our men WANT us to enjoy our encounters. They want to hear about what this “other guy” did for or to is that sent us over the edge, and yes, they want to hear what we liked better about the “other guy”.  I know it seems crazy, because we don’t want to imagine our men, even if we did allow them to be with other women, thinking that their “others” were better, sexier, hotter or had something that we don’t.  That’s because we don’t have that “competition drive” like our men do.

Let’s face it, despite what our men tell us – “It’s all about your pleasure” or “I don’t get anything out of it unless you’re enjoying it, because I love you so much” – this isn’t some ultimate “unselfish” thing our men are doing for us.  These things come out of their mouths, but what they are really saying is “I want to know that you came three times while he was fucking you, and you STILL want to come home to me”.  It’s their kink, and we have to understand it.  

So, if you’ve actually taken the step into the world of Hotwifing, you’re going to have to learn how to properly tease your man into believing that, just maybe, your Bull was better than him in some ways.  Whenever you think “But I’m only doing it for him”, follow that us with “I’m doing it for him and he WANTS to know that I absolutely enjoyed it”.  Find some aspect of your encounter that was mind-blowing, and recount, in great detail exactly what it was that sent you over the edge.  This may require a little bit of embellishment, and that’s OKAY…trust me…embellishment is your friend in this situation.  Tell your man about your Bull’s amazing cock, how good if felt, how good he tasted, how fantastic he was at oral sex, etc.  These are the things that will ramp up that competition streak in your man and make him want to reclaim you with increased vigor and desire.  

The More You Want Someone Else, The More Your Man Wants You

Again, you’re playing on the competition and the teasing aspect of things here…  The more that you act as if you WANT to be a Hotwife, the more that your husband or partner is going to WANT you.  His desire for you is going to skyrocket, his sexual desire for you is going to make it so that he’s ready to chew his own leg off to get you back in bed.  I have experienced this firsthand many times…if I am completely honest about an “encounter” and admit to “D” that my Bull was lacking in some way, or I didn’t quite “get there”, he isn’t nearly as turned on as when I tell him about how amazing things were.  I don’t like or believe in lying, but I do advocate for being selective and stretching the truth…maybe your lover wasn’t the best at giving oral sex, but maybe he was an amazing kisser, so a good answer would be “he was amazing with his mouth” and leave the rest up for interpretation.  

We’re women.  We are strong and capable and we are smart.  And the truth is, this is a GAME we are playing for and with our husbands/partners, so we need to get our heads into the game. Furthermore, this is an intellectual game, and we need to use our intellects to get to where we want to be.  Where do we want to be?  We want to have a husband/partner who is absolutely drooling over us, believes we are the ultimate sexual goddess, and in is jealous enough to realize that in order to “compete” they will need to step up their own game in order to “keep” us satisfied – be that with amazing sex, extra romance, other rewards, or all of the above.  

Happy Hotwifing!

-S

More Hotwife Dares here: Hotwife Dares Original Hotwife Confessions here: Hotwife Confessions Our own pics here: Becoming Hotwife