P. Vallejo

things you can overhear when Harry is teaching Draco how to cook

Draco: I made a conscious decision to use less salt this time. 

Harry: …

Draco: I wanted it to be more healthy.

Harry: …

Draco: it didn’t taste as good.

Harry: Yeah, you always were a salty bitch.

***wooden spoon clatters against the wall near Harry’s head***

draco & harry: [fighting and swinging at each other behind the counter]

ron: can i get a waffle... can i please get a waffle...

Hagrid: Now that you have money for the first time in your life, what would you like to buy in Diagon Alley? Food? A pet?

Harry: I want a solid gold cauldron.

Draco *passing by*: Mother I think I’m in love. 

@dreamerkx2 don’t you say that’s not me

Draco, monologuing: I am evil, I am darkness, people should quake at my presence. No human being could come close to the amount of evil in my sou-

Pansy: Oh look, a cat!

Draco, already squatting down to call it: Ooh Kitty! come kitty. You are just adorable, little kitty cat. Who’s adorable? You are! Oh yes you are! Awww, I just love you, oh yes I do, yes I do…

(Bonus if Harry is hiding behind the invincibility cloak having a heart attack.)

Billy: *strums guitar* I love you bitch

Steve next to Dustin: oh my god

Billy: *strums* I ain’t never gonna stop lovin you, biiiiitch

isayama:

snk fandom:

Dustin: If you kill my babysitter, I will kill you.

Billy: Why would I kill him? He’s my boyfriend.

Max: What?

Mike: Wait, what? *Looking at Steve*

Steve: …

Steve: I can explain.

Richie holding a fake gun up to Eddies head: what are your last words ?!

Eddie: do it pussy