Serges-meadows - Naraba

✷ JOKER ✷

by aviothic__rinki

PONDER THAT FUNKY ORB/HAUNTED CASTLE DOCTRINE

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Oh boy so many setbacks this month.

It honestly started off so good. And now its ended in a confusing way. I’m trying to handle each month as slow as I can. February feels like 2 years ago lol. 

I watched Nezha 2, 3 times lmao. I almost saw it a 4th time, but I had to restraint myself plus I’m short on money for the month. it's probably gonna be one of my favorite memories of the year. I love that movie so much. I don’t even consider myself to be a big 3d animation fan. Some of my faves are Megamind, httyd, happy feet and maybe tangled shrugs. But I never saw any of them in theaters tho.

Nezha 2 is almost 3 hours long not including travel to get to the theater(it’s not in the best area either). So I must really love the hell out of this movie to waste 3-4 hours to see it(I do I really do). It’s such a great movie, I think about it almost everyday. There’s so much I can say about it about it but I will end up writing a book on why it's great lmao. I’m so jealous of all the merch it gets out of the U.S. our country is full of so much hate. I can’t wait for the dvds, and the art books 😫. I wish it could stay in theaters forever lol, so I can see it whenever. 💖

Other stuff that happen, I cleaned my bedroom, I made it as functional as I can, hopefully for the rest of the year. It still needs a lot of work but I think I used up too much energy on it and was feeling like a dried jerky for a week just floating in the air, head empty no thoughts ugh.

The weather has been really nice out, I was out a lot this month, I wasn’t doing anything fun tho, but I had some cute outfit combos that I didn’t get a chance to take pics of, sigh I always forget. 

Some of the cherry trees are in bloom, I think it just the dark pink ones tho, still I love walking around outside just to see them.

This month I really was drawing a lot. The question of what do I want to draw just flashes in my head all the time. What do I want to draw, what do I want my art to look like? Idk, I just want to draw lol. I think that in the early 2010s I use to draw for myself, whereas now I am self conscious about what others might think.

sobs I’m just rambling now. I wanted to post more this month but it’s been a long ride. Hopefully April is less bumpy. 

x x x

“Things I know about healing: Speaking kindly to yourself helps a lot.”

— Rebecca Ray

I was told by my bestie that I needed to practice some self control with my spending lmao~

🎓🎉✨

My sister Graduated.

It was an really awful day, nothing could prepare me for it lol, I was completely shocked by it. I mean it's been days now, she graduated in the 9th of May and I am still thinking about this horrible day. Like what could I have done to make this day anything else than the day that it was. And the answer it nothing lmao, because I wasn't the one causing the problems. Maybe if I write about it, I'll think of it less. I just keep thinking this day was gonna be an easy day, I literally didn't have to do much of anything today, just get to the place and sit and watch my sister walk.

It started off fine. I was in a good mood because I had figured out my outfit for the day, and I really liked it, I thought it was so simple and cute and not to eye catching. I had an outfit planned for this day, but I wasn't feeling it last minute, the weather and my outfit weren't matching to me, it was raining all morning. So I was able to put something new together and it made me feel good, I felt in high spirits I guess lol, it made me realized that a good outfit can really save the day lol, because it kind of did help this day, if I had hated my outfit I would of left the arena early lmao.

Long story short, I was micromanaged all day, for a good chuck of this day. Me and my sister were micromanaged, and it was so infuriating. I didn't even want to go, I just went because my sister wanted me to go, and I really didn't have plans that day. I did want to be supportive of her, I am proud of her, it was a big accomplishment. I felt like this day should of been about her, her day to relax and take her awards. She worked for it.

But the person we were with made it all about themselves. Nothing we did that day was good enough. They just kept having to nitpick at us. They couldn't say one nice thing to me the whole day, and at dinner they were talking to me like everything was sweet, like they weren't being a asshole to me all day. They're the type of person who will say some really awful things to you in a really bad way and think they are speaking from the kindness of their heart and are doing you a favor. and it's like no, you are an ASShole.

And I was just so confused all day. I was really drained of energy I didn't know how to react to any of it. I wanted to walk out of the arena so bad and go to the movies lmao. But I knew that my sister would be like WTF. I kept wanting to be happy for my sister, kept trying to turn my mood around it was not working. My sister was mad, I was mad, my brother was mad. The day had been made lol.

The only good thing out of this day was the Graduation itself. This lady coming up to me and telling me my outfit was pretty😭. And when I got home I got ready for bed and went to sleep 🛏 lmao I was done with this day.

Emerald ponds 🌸

© Jee Won Park (ig: zeewipark)