Where.

I live for this bullshit

How to Please You

Stu Macher X Reader

Don’t come after my life if my writing isn’t up to par, it’s been a long time since I’ve written on another platform.

- Stu Macher’s Pillow Princess

(Let it be known I’m a switch at heart but I would let this man demolish me if he wanted to.)

You stumble through Stu’s house reaching the staircase. You sit for a moment and then call out for Randy, but he’s distracted by the movie playing on the tv and the horde of guys calling out obscenities to Jamie Lee Curtis in ‘Halloween’. You close your eyes for a moment and you feel a warm body sit next to you on the steps.

It’s Stu.

He laughs and puts his arm around you.

“There’s a reason you don’t drink keg beer, you drink the good shit I keep around for the pretty girls, that beer is trash.”

Pretty girl? You think, You haven’t had 2 seconds alone with this man since the beginning of time. He’s so forward.

“I’m not drunk Stu, I slipped and fell hard in the kitchen and my everything hurts.”

“Well little miss clumsy if you need to lay down or something your little boyfriend can take you up to my parents room.”

“Randy’s not my boyfriend.” You scoff.

You’ve been on one ‘date’ if hanging out at the video store after hours even counts as one.

“Like hell he is, every time I walk into that lousy ass video store he’s flapping that fucking mouth about you.”

“Not enough apparently because I’m sitting here with a sore ass and he’s too busy watching movies.”

“I’m not too busy for you and your sore ass” He grins stupidly as he pokes at your side.

You hit him playfully on the shoulder. He smirks.

“Come on, a bed’s gotta be comfier than these stairs”

He grabs your hand and lifts you to stand. He wraps his arm around your waist and grips you hard, almost carrying you up the stairs. He leads you to a room at the end of the hall. He closes the door and you hear a slight click.

‘Did he lock it?’

You plop down on the bed and fall back on the pillows. You feel Stu sit on the edge. He places his hand on your leg.

“Comfy?”

“Mhm”.

“You know.. I gotta ask .. because me and the guys just… can't seem to figure out how virgin extraordinaire landed you?”

“He’s sweet to me, plus how about you show me the list of available guys in our school that aren’t assholes or taken”.

“So because of Tatum I didn’t make the cut?”

“No.. you’re not on my list because you’re an asshole.”

He laughs. “Oh really now? I didn’t know” his sarcasm is all too much. “Wipe the smirk off your face”. He looks at your mouth and then back to your eyes.

You giggle at his frustration.

“Or what? you’ll do it for me?” You put your finger to his chest.

“I could do more than that..” his touches your hand with his fingers tracing patterns on the back of your palm.

His eyes wander for a second but he pops back into reality and blinks a few times. You place your hands in your lap.

“So tell me, have you popped old randy’s cherry yet?” He nudges you playfully.

“No one’s popping anything.”

“Nothing? Come on babe! a girls gotta have needs right? The kid isn't satisfying you in other ways?” He taps his fingers on your leg.

“No stu, Randy’s a virgin, in all ways, shapes, and forms”. You grab his hand and move it off of you placing it on the bed.

“So what do virgins do on a friday night? Play fucking checkers and call it a night? You gotta do better than that”. He shakes his head.

“What do I even do? He’s so sweet but he wouldn’t know how to make a move if I stripped naked and threw myself at him”.

“Oh really? That easy huh?

“Oh fuck you, I didn’t meant it like that. I wouldn’t even know what to do.”

“I could show you a thing or two”.

“You dick-” you grab and pillow and try to whack him, he grabs it and he tosses it on the ground

“I’m not kidding you want to please your man don’t you?”

“You’re lying, what would your girlfriend say about that?”

“She won’t say shit, because I’m not gonna tell her. Are you telling me you’d look Tatum in the eyes and tell her what we did?”

“But we didn’t do anything”

He grabs your legs and pulls you to the edge of the bed. You sit upright as he moves closer to you. .

“Yet.”

“But s-stu-”

“But-but Stu what? You think I don't know what you want? Fuck, I’ve always thought about it.”

“You think about me?” You bite your lip.

“You think me and Billy sit around and play who’s got the bigger dick all day long when we hang out? We talk about all the ladies we'd like to have-”

You cut him off

“Billy would probably win that argument”

Stu stands up grunting a little in frustration.

“You just like being a little brat don’t you. I was gonna show you mine but I guess you don't get to see it now.”

“Wait wha-”

“I mean if you insist I’d hate for all this to be a waste.”

He grabs your hand and places it on his chest and guides it down his stomach to his pants. He’s so hard.

“What are you doing?” You look up at him innocently.

“You want to learn how to please?” His voice gets lower.

“I-I don’t really know what to say, I’m a little-”

“Intimidated?” He cuts you off. “You don’t have to say anything, just listen.”

He grabs your chin and leans your face up so your eyes meet his.

“Don’t be scared, I’m not going to hurt you..”

“I wasn’t afraid of that.”

“Afraid you’d enjoy me too much?”

“Then what Stu? We go back to class on Monday and act like this was some dream?”

“Maybe I enjoy you too much and make you my girl.”

“I don’t want to rely on maybes..”

“You talk too much, maybe I should show you something to shut you up for a second.”

“Huh?”

He pushes you back on the bed and climbs on top of you kissing you without hesitation. His hands find their way to your chest grabbing at you hard. His kiss is rough, it only makes you want him more. His lips move to your neck biting you softly,

‘will this leave a mark?’

You think to yourself. His kisses trail down to your chest then turn to biting and sucking. A noticeable hickey would form, but you didn’t care, you could always wear a high collar t-shirt for the next week.

You moan out his name.

“Oh babe we’re just getting started.”

His hands feel down your thigh, his fingers moving up your skirt to your panties. He rubs the outside of you, you can feel yourself getting wetter at the touch of his fingers.

“Does that feel good?”

“Mhm” you close your eyes hard diving into the feel of his touch.

“I want you to use your words.”

“Y-es, you feel good.”

“That’s my girl”.

‘His girl?’

You love the sound of that. His fingers inched their way into your panties.

Those hands.. The way he was rubbing you was sending pulses throughout your whole body.

“Tell me you want it” He gritted his teeth. How turned on is he?

“I want it.”

“Do you need it?”

“I need it”

“Beg”

“Please, I can’t take it anymore.” It feels like you can’t breathe.

His slipped his fingers inside of you. You audibly gasp and he smiles at you. He’s almost proud of himself. They were almost too big to fit,

“Come on babe if you can’t handle this how could handle the rest of me?”

In and out his fingers moved slower, faster, it felt like You could just lose yourself all over his hand.

“You can wait.”

He stopped abruptly. Fuck.

“What are you doing.”

You were almost mad that he stopped.

‘Why would he do that? Maybe he likes the power?’

“Now I know how you like to be pleased..”

You sit up, chest heaving, you look into his eyes.

“Fuck you.”

“Not yet. It’s my turn.”

He stands up and backs away from the bed raising his hand to his mouth, his fingers touching his lips and tasting them. Tasting you. You stand up slowly. Wobbly. You put your hands on his hips. His hand reaches behind your neck pulling your face closer kissing you. He’s needy. You can feel the want in his kiss. He pulls you against him. He’s so hard.

You turn him so his back is to the bed. And push him down. He sits and looks up at you smirking ever so slightly.

“So you’re the one in charge now?”

You let out a breathy laugh for a moment.

“You have no idea,” pointing to his pants you only have to say two words.

“Pants. Now”

Stu grins and bites his lip as he struggles to undo his buckle and zipper. He’s a little too excited. You sit on his lap and pull his dick out of his boxers. He’s already ready to go.

You start stroking him and he leans his head back eyes closed tightly. He grips your thighs with those strong hands. He wants you so badly to just get on top already.

“Does that feel good?”

“Fuck, you know it does”

His hips start moving up and down to the rhythm of your hand sliding up and down his dick.

“I just need you already”

“How badly?”

“Like I need air” he gasps “fuck”

“Beg”

“Beg?”

He’s shocked? His own word used against him.

You stop. He looks at you in surprise.

“You’re such a dick.” He breathes out.

“I don’t hear you begging..”

“Please”

“That doesn’t sound real” you shake your head disappointed.

“Come on” he teases.

“Fine, that’s too bad I guess you’d rather I go downstairs and leave you like this” you shrug and move to get off of him.

“You aren’t going anywhere”

He leans up and place one hand on your ass pulling you closer, and the other hand up to the back of your head. His fingers grip at your hair bringing you close to kiss again. You grip at his sweater and pull it up and off of him tossing it to the side. You reach your hand around his dick again. He tenses up at the motion of your stroking.

He moans into your mouth.

“Please, I’m not fucking kidding anymore. I need this. I need you. Take these fucking things off and come here”

He tugs at your Panties trying to pull them down.

“You take them off if you want it so badly”

His fingers grasping gently turned to both hands gripping tightly and ripping them off. He tossed them on the ground and smiles into the kiss.

“Oops, I’ll just have to buy you a new pair.”

In one swift movement you grip and slide his throbbing dick inside of you. He’s so thick, he just fits so perfectly. You gasp as it enters. The warmth and wetness is too much for him. He lays back and moans gripping the sheets with one hand as the other remains on your hip. He bucks into you.

“F-fuck, you feel too good I can’t.”

He moans louder.

You place your hand on his mouth trying to muffle his moans.

“They’ll hear us.”

He grips your hand and moves it to his chest.

“Fuck them. This is my fucking house”

“Oh yeah?”

“This pussy is mine. You’re mine.”

He grips your hips rocking you back and forth on top of him as he fucks you from underneath.

Both of your hands resting on his chest you grind harder on top of him. He’s slipping.

“Yes please fuck. I can’t” he cries out.

“Yes you can stu. Who’s dick is this?”

You’re in charge now.

“It’s all yours babe, yours”

“Are you gonna cum for me? Stu”

“Yes, please I want to. Fuck you feel too good”

You bring his hands up to grip your breasts. And bounce harder and faster on him. Your whole body is tense.

“Fuck stu”

Your breathing quickens as you feel yourself getting closer. You feel your thighs gripped his waist tighter and tighter. Both your moans getting louder, matching ‘yes’s and him moaning your name over and over.

You feel it building inside of you as you ride harder and harder. And finally

Your orgasm makes you tighten around him pushing him over the edge as your body melts all over him. He finally cums and his grip was tight as he fills you up. His hands would leave an imprint. He gasps and let’s you ride every last drop out of him.

You gasp and moan as you collapse onto his chest.

It could have been hours or minutes before you could come back to the reality that you were in Mr. and Mrs. Macher’s bed, a party happening down below, and the fear that someone could catch you.

He wipes the sweat from his face with his shirt on the bed to the left of you guys. And wraps his arms around you. His lips kiss your forehead.

“Fuck” He’s breathing hard.

“I know” you smile into his chest.

“You just-”

“I know”

“Goddamn My head is spinning” his hands rub his face.

You both lay for a minute. Him still inside of you. Catching your breath. Someone knocks on the door.

“Who’s in there”

“Who the fucks asking?”

“Who the fuck else?”

It’s only Billy.

“Give me a minute Billy I’ll be right there”

You get off of him and walk across the room, sitting at the vanity and looking into the mirror fixing your hair and clothes.

It seems like he feels your reaction to the sex wasn’t as life altering as he assumed it was for you. Even if it was you weren’t gonna let him have the satisfaction.

“What the fuck just happened- it’s like you-”

“Knew what I was doing?”

He nodded questionably.

“I never said I was a virgin stu, randy is. You aren’t the first to “teach” me anything”

“What the fuck does that mean?”

He laughs nervously.

“Why don’t you ask Billy?”

You smirk as you open the door and walk out. Leaving him speechless. Billy is there standing against the hallway wall. He looks you up and down. Biting his lip. And raising his eyebrows at you.

“Now you’re not the first person I expected to walk out of there but you were definitely on the list”

You smirk.

“I didn’t expect last weekend either so just add this to your pile of secrets you have.”

He smirks as you walk away to join the party downstairs. Maybe he taught you well.

And to think I said "pid" instead of pod smh

BEN & Jeff: We're two peas in a pod.

Y/N: No bitch, y'all two rees in a tard.

Kinktober list babyyyyyy! Ik its early but still. Send me ur asks and ill put them on da list!

1. Lingerie

2. Dacryphilia

3. Temperature Play

4. Cosplay

5. Dry Humping

6. Public

7. Corruption

8. Degradation

9. Hair pulling

10. Marking

11. Cockwarming

12. Bondage

13. Knife kink

14. Edging

15. Somnophilia

16. Squirting

17. Overstimulation

18. Exhibitionism

19. Face sitting

20. Toys

21. Bath Sex

22. Mommy Kink

23. Thigh Riding

24. Dirty Talk

25. CunnilIgus

26. Praise

27. Body Worship

28. Mutual Masterbation

29. Phone Sex

30. Size Kink

31. Breeding

Oh for fucking sure

Eddie the type of mf to be like “babe watch this” and you look over and he’s trying to steer his car with his boner

Jeff: I’m on shopping duty, do you want anything?

BEN: Can you get me some of those gay cheerios?

Jeff: Ya mean fruit loops?

BEN: Oh yeah, those.

Omfg im so so sorry y'all 💀. It is October 13th and I havent done a single kinktober post yet. It'll be coming out this week. I give you my word. #21 on my list 😉

just watched gabriel (2014) and am currently having a mental breakdown HES SO BABYGIRL I CRY EVERYTIME I WATCH THIS

This FUCKING picture of schlatt made me WEAK IM DROPPING OUT. I GOTTA GO I GOTTA GO I GOTTA GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE

SCREAMING WITHOUT THE S ON GOD!

Edit: https://youtu.be/XxNsi0UVbCg (2:10 ;))

Slender: Where are you going?

Y/N: To get ice cream or to commit a felony. I'll decide in the car.

not me watching gabriel as you post this-

i wholeheartedly believe that gabe would be a really good boyfriend. maybe his love for you would get a little out of hand at times, but that's okay cuz its him. he's the sweetest boy ever and would treat you like absolute royalty, nothing less ever. 🫶