My Dogs. They Look Busy, Don’t They? If Some Of Your Dogs Are Seniors, Like Some Of Mine, Remember

More on How to Drown Out Noisy Neighbors:  (1) Buy old-school clock radio from thrift store. (2) Tune radio to the 1980′s station. (3) Turn up volume. (4) Eat a crunchy snack while listening to the tunes.

Vet care = making pet ownership the living hell it has to be.

At the top of the photo is a gecko that just showed up in my bathroom today. I live in Florida. Here, you don’t have to buy reptiles because they show up for free. Anyway, this is the biggest gecko to move in on me in a long time. In Florida, they are helpful. They eat a lot of bugs, which also show up for free. So, anyway, I won’t have to worry about bugs in my house for a long time. It seems like these geckos usually stay for about 2 months or so. Do you have these types of lizards where you live?

The Democrats seem to be, basically, nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have no management-skills.

They are the kind of people who would stop to help you change a flat but would somehow manage to set your car on fire.

I would be reluctant to entrust any of them with a Cuisinart, let alone the economy.

The Republicans, on the other hand, would know how to fix your tire.

However, none of them would even bother to stop because they want to be on time for Ugly-Pants-Night at the country-club.

—Dave Barry, from Dave Barry Slept Here

LEGOLAND FLORIDA. Map is current as of October 2019. In a few days, I hope to post some real pictures of the park. If you’re there on Thursday, maybe I’ll see you at the park. (I’ll be the one with the old-school digital camera in lieu of an iphone -- ha, ha.) p.s. Legoland Florida is built over the old Cypress Gardens. The gazebo is part of the original Cypress Gardens.

I always wondered what the criteria was for becoming an astronaut. This is very interesting. Gosh, I wished I didn’t get motion sickness so easy!!

Want to Become an Astronaut? You Might Be More Qualified Than You Think

Have you ever wondered if you have what it takes to become a NASA Astronaut? We’re accepting applications starting March 2, and we’re encouraging all eligible Americans to apply by March 31! 

It’s an incredible time in human spaceflight to be an astronaut. With Artemis, our sights are set on the Moon – to stay – by utilizing sustainable lunar missions, and you could be one of the humans on the surface! During their careers, this next class of astronauts may also fly on any of four different U.S. spacecraft: the International Space Station, Boeing’s CST-100 Starliner, SpaceX’s Crew Dragon and our Orion deep-space exploration vehicle; They will be at the cutting edge of a new era in human exploration. 

So, still interesting in joining our ranks as an Artemis generation astronaut? Here are a few things to note.

Myths about becoming an astronaut:

MYTH: All astronauts have piloting experience.

FACT: You don’t need to be a pilot to be an astronaut. Flying experience is not a requirement, but could be beneficial to have.

MYTH: All astronauts have perfect vision.

FACT: It’s okay if you don’t have 20/20 vision. As of September 2007, corrective surgical procedures of the eye (PRK and LASIK), are now allowed, providing at least 1 year has passed since the date of the procedure with no permanent adverse after effects.

MYTH: All astronauts have advanced degrees like, a PhD.

FACT: While a Master’s degree from an accredited university is necessary, the requirement can also be met with the completion (or current enrollment that will result in completion by June 2021) of a nationally recognized test pilot school program.

MYTH: Astronauts are required to have military experience in order to be selected.

FACT: Military experience is not required to become an astronaut.

MYTH: You have to be a certain age in order to be an astronaut.

FACT: There are no age restrictions. Astronaut candidates selected in the past have ranged between the ages of 26 and 46, with the average age being 34.

Okay, but what are the requirements?

The basic requirements to apply include United States citizenship and a master’s degree in a STEM field, including engineering, biological science, physical science, computer science, or mathematics, from an accredited institution. The requirement for the master’s degree can also be met by:

Two years (36 semester hours or 54 quarter hours) of work toward a Ph.D. program in a related science, technology, engineering or math field;

A completed doctor of medicine or doctor of osteopathic medicine degree;

Completion (or current enrollment that will result in completion by June 2021) of a nationally recognized test pilot school program.

Candidates also must have at least two years of related, progressively responsible professional experience, or at least 1,000 hours of pilot-in-command time in jet aircraft. Astronaut candidates must pass the NASA long-duration spaceflight physical.

Applications for our next Artemis astronaut class open on March 2! Shoot for the stars and visit: https://www.nasa.gov/astronauts

Make sure to follow us on Tumblr for your regular dose of space: http://nasa.tumblr.com 

My dog sleeping on a dog blanket. How cute is that?

More on Kids that Scream a lot

It is now 24 hours later. Apparently the screaming eventually resulted in a well being check for someone on my street. Today, about 18 hours after the original screaming, an ambulance was on my street, blaring its foghorn at a house, perhaps in an attempt to get the resident to respond. Wow. Just think, if I weren’t immune to scream now, thanks to the turds next door, I might could have helped a long time ago!!!!!! If you don’t want to tell your kids to shut up, tell them Shelly said to shut the fuck up.

How to ruin a perfectly good day:

Attempt to change bed sheets, most especially if the fitted sheet has already shrunk in the wash. If that fails to ruin your day, try to either sew a new zipper or repair an old zipper. Now, that should do it! Good days can always be ruined by fitted sheets and zippers.

Vintage shot glasses are available on ebay. The seller’s name is: JoesComicsVault.