Just A Reminder

when women say “i hate men” they mean it in the “stop hurting me and my sisters” kind of way, not the “i want to rape, murder and oppress you” way. you know, the way men hate women.

No, people aren’t “More sensitive” now. People aren’t too “Politically Correct” now. Nor are people “Just looking for a reason to be offended” now.

We, as a people, know better now. Therefore we, as a people, are trying to do better now.

“Angels” block the Westboro Baptist Church from protesting Orlando victim’s funeral

When a handful of Westboro Baptist Church members showed up Saturday at the funeral of Orlando shooting victim Christopher Leinonen, counterprotesters donning large, white angel wings were there to shield mourners. Members of the Orlando Shakespeare Theater put together the wings as a symbolic but also literal screen between the WBC and funeral attendees. An Orlando Police tweet later proved the efforts to stop the WBC worked.

"But women get unfair advantages in custody battles"

FALSE. Fathers who ask for sole custody are far more likely to get it. It’s just that they don’t ask, mostly women do. Men win custody over women even if they are ostensibly unfit. More and more, judges and parents rule in favor of 50/50 custody. In fact, in the past ten years, the men’s rights movement has been devastating to women seeking custody in court and women are awarded sole custody about half as many times as men.  

So find a new fucking myth. 

omg there’s a dog in my yard this is the best day ever hello fuzzy baby friend

The Fandom That Lived 

word-vomit on depression and seeking treatment for it:

I was asked about seeking treatment for depression.  I don’t want to out anyone or share somebody else’s story, so I replied privately.  Here’s what I told them, just in case anyone else is thinking of asking but not sure how:

I would definitely recommend therapy as a first step.  Finding someone that you can talk to who is IMPARTIAL and TRAINED is really freaking great BUT - you’ve gotta find someone you can click with.  I have spoken to a handful of therapists over the years and in my experience when you walk out of the office of a good therapist, you feel 10,000x better than you did when you walked in.  Conversely, I left the office of a bad therapist (she might not have been bad at her job, but she was bad for ME) and basically cried for the next hour.

SO!  Finding a therapist (I’ma walk you through all the steps I took to get my mental health on track, bear with me)!  I’m going to assume that you are over 18, so you can go looking for health things on your own.  Look in your local area for free clinics/places that refer.  Most areas with a semi-decent population will have some sort of free mental health clinic or at least a good starting off point for you.  When you find one, be specific about who you are and what you’re looking for in a therapist.  I said that I wanted a woman, someone who was used to talking to people about LGBT issues, etc.  The first couple of meetings are odd because you’re telling all these personal things to a STRANGER but luckily (hah!) for me, I tend to be word-vomity when nervous and therapy is the IDEAL PLACE for word-vomit, so that worked out well.  You should never feel 1) pressured, 2) judged, 3) patronized by, or 4) UNCOMFORTABLE with your therapist.  If you experience ANY of those things with a person, then don’t see them again.  Just don’t.  This is about YOU and YOUR health.

As far as having a parent who is potentially in denial about their child’s mental wellbeing goes?  OH HONEY, LET ME HUG YOU!  IDK if you’ve seen my other depression posts but yeah, I FEEL YOU.  Here’s the thing though: your parent will never be able to remove themself from the situation (ie: BEING YOUR PARENT) enough to judge this accurately.  There’s a massive conflict of interest there.  There’s also the fact that no parent WANTS their child to be depressed.  People who know what depression is want it even LESS.  Do not let their opinion stand in the way of you seeking answers FOR yourself ABOUT yourself.  This is your body, your brain, and YOUR LIFE.  You’re the one who’s living it.  YOU DO YOU.

Finally, the big thing everybody talks about: medication.  Not everyone needs it.  Not everyone goes on it.  Currently, I need it to remain functional and healthy.  You may not need it at all, it’s really up to you (and your doctor).  You will, obviously, need a diagnosis before you get medication.  You can either go to your GP, or - if you go to a clinic - there will likely be someone on staff in the same building as the therapist who can prescribe meds.

Personally, when I started on my treatment, I went in this order: 1) GP for basic prescription of antidepressants, 2) referral to free clinic, 3) therapy, 4) started seeing a psych nurse at the clinic to deal with my meds, 5) continued with therapy for over a year - basically until I moved away from the area.

The reason I went in that order is because I was suicidal.  I had plans, I was actively thinking about it every day, and I finally got to a point where I realized that was either going to get help or I was going to die.  As you can see, I went for help.  I do not recommend the MEDS FIRST route to ANYONE, but I was desperate, and I needed to feel like I was doing SOMETHING while I got all the therapy shit together so I could talk shit out.

For me, one of the best things therapy did was it detached my depression from my daily thought processes, so instead of going “you didn’t do that assignment, which was bad, and you did a bad thing because you are fundamentally a bad person, and because you are a bad person you deserve to feel awful and be treated like shit” I was finally able to sort out ME from my ILLNESS.  All of the negative feelings that I had always attributed to being a shitty person who sucked at life and deserved all the bad things were/are actually my depression.  Think of depression as being like a big sticky ball of taffy that floats somewhere over your left shoulder.  A bad day, a mistake, anxiety, all of the things you don’t like about yourself: depression latches onto that and feeds it.  Therapy can cut those cords.  I’m not saying it’ll cure your depression, but MAN is it a lot easier to ignore that freaking ball of taffy when it’s just floating there and not actually wrapping itself around you.

Gee, can you tell from my overuse of analogies that I was an English major?

ANYWAYS, sorry if this wasn’t helpful.  Please let me know if there’s anything I haven’t addressed or answered that you’re curious about!   TL;DR

1.  Look up free clinics in your local area.  Focus on ones that offer counseling as well as medication if possible.  Consider going through your GP, if you have one, for a referral.

2.  Finding a therapist/counselor - it might take a while but it’s worth it.  If you’ve ben bullied or abused then it will DEFINITELY be worth it.  You may, if you’re anything like me, find that you’ve been misdirecting a lot of your negative feelings inwards and getting to shed that is like losing twenty pounds of emotional baggage and GOD is it good.

3.  Medication - NOT PART OF EVERYONE’S JOURNEY.  Do not feel pressured to go on meds.  Conversely, do not feel guilty for needing or wanting them.  If meds take you from “surviving” to “thriving” then they’re FUCKING WORTH IT.

I don’t know if I answered all of your questions, but please feel free to ask me follow-ups.  I’m sending you all the karma/good vibrations I can.  *hugs*

Why do we need Bisexual Awareness Week, you ask? Because anti-bisexual discrimination, stigma and violence are alive and well.

This week, the Movement Advancement Project released a new infographic detailing the inequalities bisexual Americans face in spheres like employment, health and economic status. The data’s not pretty. Read MAP’s full report on bisexual issues here, and see the infographic bigger here.