Children Please Stop Calling The Slightest Hint Of Sexual Desire “gooning” I’m Going To Strangle

BEHOLD

A little something made by me in honor of this momentous occasion

the thing about queer tv is that every time someone says "why isn't there a queer show where XYZ happens" the reality is that 1) there is actually a queer show where XYZ happens, and 2) that show is almost always either a thai drama or black sails

Nicknames: when you shorten someone’s name affectionately

Nicholasnames: when you elongate someone’s name affectionately

I turn 30 next month so here’s what I learned in my 20s:

—don’t work for startups, they’re always one ‘innovative idea’ away adding ‘sell your kidneys on the black market’ to your job description.

—keeping a collection of basic OTC medicine on you will save your life one day. I recommend Advil, Imodium, and TUMS.

—those little single-use glasses cleaning wipes are 1000% worth the money

—overly self-depreciating jokes just make people uncomfortable, wean yourself off of them

—you can buy dehydrated mini marshmallows in bulk online and they’re a godsend for hot cocoa

—people don’t care if you have fidget toys on your desk they just want to play with them

—try to go to bed BEFORE the existential ennui kicks in