Can We Please Please Please Learn To Differentiate Between Things That Are Good But Devalued Because

i like working at plant store. sometimes you ring up someone and there's a slug on their plant and so you're like "Oh haha you've got a friend there let me get that for you" and you put the slug on your hand for safekeeping but then its really busy and you dont have time to take the slug outside before the next customer in line so you just have a slug chilling on your hand for 15 minutes. really makes you feel at peace with nature. also it means sometimes i get to say my favorite line which is "would you like this free slug with your purchase"

The "kids are on their damn phones all the time" conversation has changed in an extremely significant way and I'm not sure people realize it. When kids had flip phones, and even in the early days of smartphones, kids were using their phones to text each other. It was part of an active social life. Now they're using their phones more and more to consume content from influencers or other accounts. It's more passive and it's increasingly what people are doing instead of socializing with each other. This applies to adults too, I just keep thinking about high school students.

hey if you're ever bored go read conservapedia. every article gets more deranged as you keep reading and it's truly an experience.

here is the conservapedia article on chess for example:

and before you ask, conservapedia is NOT satire, AND it was originally created because one guy couldn't get creationism to replace evolution on wikipedia.

hi what do you think of [leading question trying to get you to say something i can use against you]?

oh! i think [answer rattled off in about two seconds that doesn't account for every possible counterpoint or life experience every person might have, which will later be interpreted as a statement vaguely referencing some discourse i have never heard of and don't care about]

This is just as relevant for tumblr as for twitter, so I share it here. Fully agree

if you see a beautiful sunset or a perfectly cooked filet mignon with a red wine reduction do you want to fuck it

Cardinal Lawrence is the funniest man ever. He keeps sending his pet Monsignor to go snooping around for him, and when he comes back with intel half the time Lawrence says “no, don’t tell me… I mustn’t be influenced…” and then his Monsignor says “but your Eminence the tea is exceptionally hot today” and Larry pulls out his gay little cup and drinks that shit like a starving man at a feast who’s trying to pretend he’s only a little peckish

Sans sweep was so powerful the residual shockwaves accidentally killed the fucking queen