Latest Posts by skinsheddingcycle - Page 6

Shout out to me and the other co-host who are going through the same crisis except in the opposite directions ("Oh no I'm used to stress how do I deal with daily life" vs "Oh no I'm used to daily life how do I deal with stress")

I’m both pro herbal medicine and pro vaccination because you can treat burns with aloe vera juice and sore throats with lavender infused honey but you can’t rid a country of polio with plants. 

When you're autistic, it's impossible to miss how much society normalizes child abuse.

I could dedicate my entire life to studying how to interact with people and I'd still never master the social skills that young children are expected to have on command.

Say the wrong thing? That's disrespectful and you're punished. And you don't even have to actually say anything wrong. Pretty much anything you say can be considered "giving lip" if your parent wants some excuse to punish you. But if you say nothing, then you get punished for ignoring. You also have to calculate your response to their mind game quickly because taking too long to respond is considered ignoring. Also, if you're being wrongly accused of something, saying nothing is considered a confession. And even if you somehow manage to say exactly what your parent wants in exactly the correct tone, they'll still punish you for "sarcasm" or "not really meaning it".

YOU hates terfs

There’s no such thing as work-life balance for neurodivergent & chronically ill people.

This is because everything in my life requires work:

maintaining friendships

keeping up with my hygiene

managing bills

making money

remembering my basic needs

sleeping regularly

outputting creatively

All requires some aspect of work for me.

And when everything in your life requires work, your balance goes out the window.

If you're neurodivergent and overwhelmed — I see you.

If you're chronically ill and overwhelmed — I see you.

You're not dysfunctional.

You're not incapable.

You're doing your best.

Being plural isn’t equal to being transgender. Endos do not exist.

There are OSDDID systems in endogenic communities being gaslit into believing that they haven’t experienced “severe enough trauma” for their mind to fragment to survive.

Endos and non-traumagenic systems are not a healthy community to be a part of and cause more harm than good.

Friendly reminder that if you support endos and non-traumagenic systems, you are not welcome on my blog.

You’re causing harm to people.

And AspenFrostEN fans are not welcome here. No one deserves to be harassed or threatened because your little hive mind said it was okay. It is not okay to call anyone slurs or use mental illnesses as a means of mocking someone. You’re not welcome here either.

Aspen fans harm the anti-endo community as well and make it a harmful place even for anti-endos.

You are not saints but rather the wolf in the clothing of the sheep, not protecting the herd but killing it.

You are also causing harm to people.

I GET IT I GET IT !!!

realizing youre Real is .weird,,

like you can exist for Years??? never noticing??? never thinking about Yourself. assuming you are the host, or assuming you are another alter.

it is WEIRD to sit there with your morning coffee, having a conversation, and just suddenly the stars align . and you realize how different you are from "you" . you realize you werent "you", you were actually YOU the whole time.

I KNOW THIS DOESNT MAKE SENSE BUT I HOPE SOMEONE GETS IT

So much more than "I feel like I'm someone else" , DID is so often "I feel like I'm in someone else's life". Like, this is not my house, these are not my clothes, that is not my cat, you are not my friends, but I've got to carry on anyway as though they're all mine and just hope that no-one notices that I'm walking in someone else's skin

The one thing I don’t like seeing from endos is some of them saying “your trauma makes your privileged! No one will believe me but they’ll believe you!”

Trauma doesn’t make anyone privileged. The views that trauma is privilege is terrible. That’s abuse that someone has been through, assault someone has been through.

If you’re saying that someone is privileged because they have trauma… you really need to do something to help yourself out. That’s a terrible mindset to have.

No one believes in endos because of the harm they cause to systems and singlets that are trying to be there for systems. Endos and non-traumagenic “systems” don’t need to be included in everything.

Anti-endo spaces are made so systems can have space from endos and that community, but endos and proendos force themselves into it any way. Why? Because they hate it when someone speaks up against them.

It’s not something you should feel entitled to.

This is why I will never support endos and proendos or “systems” made without trauma. You don’t exist. Your mind CANNOT fragment without trauma and that trauma IS NOT a privilege to have.

sorry systems are so funny. *turns you into 7 smaller people to fix your problems * (all 7 people refuse to work on their problems) 

Shoutout to all the hosts who thought arguing with the guys in your head was a normal way of “thinking about things” 😭

Imagine my shock as a neurodivergent teen when I first realized that using large vocabulary and eloquent speech doesn't make you less likely to be misinterpreted, rather it adds an entirely new layer of misinterpretation I had never even realized existed in the form of people thinking you're being snobbish or condescending when you're just trying to be specific

Someone in an autism facebook group I'm in just asked "How am I supposed to earn enough to make a living without burning out?"

Someone replied: "You're not. Even neurotypicals can't right now in the system designed for them. We're the canaries in the coalmine. When we start failing, they know something is wrong."

People underestimate how much it fucks you up to be subtly excluded as a kid. I would try to talk to my classmates and be met with disinterest or annoyance. The one friend I had, who I clung to and nodded along to his every word, had other friends he liked just as much or more. And his other friends didn’t care for me at all.

I look back at pictures from the time and see how separated I was from them. I remember knowing I was different. I remember posing questions about the world to the girls playing next to me and realizing that they had never asked the same ones to themselves. That the ways we thought couldn’t be more different.

I kept myself amused with my own fanatical stories and musings in my head. I would wander the playground on a circular path, imagining a friend and being sorely disappointed when it didn’t feel as real as I’d hoped.

There was a bubble separating me from everyone else, thin, and nearly invisible, but with a pearly sheen you could catch under the right conditions. I knew it was there, they knew it was there, and it changed me

Diagrams are helpful to me

"I would notice if you switched!"

No. You wouldn't notice a person with DID switch unless you payed very close attention. DID is made to be covert, showing obvious and visible signs of switching can be dangerous for the system. Most alters/parts learn to mask and blend in to make it less obvious. Parts with very different personalities and mannerisms try their best to learn how act as the host for the systems safety.

- unknown

that sucks! the only sign of being endo is being convinced that you're a system who formed without trauma. everything else is fakeclaiming

TW:: Fake claiming, bit syscoursy?

Plural culture is not being allowed in traumagenic discords because my system has "signs of being endo" [many fictional introjects, big headcount] but not wanting to join pro/neutral endo discords because they make us uncomfortable.

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"can men be lesbians?" bestie in 100 countries women can't be lesbians is this really the most pressing issue rn

Children's oppression and lack of humanization is one topic that makes my insides feel like they're rotting and I'll die on the hill of defending them and pointing out how fucking gross it is every single time people act like it's cool actually to hate a group of people who are the least able to defend themselves in any terrible situation

Y'all will scream "protect queer kids" "protect trans kids" "protect kids of color" then forget all that and proudly stand behind "well kids are fucking annoying in public actually so it's fine when I talk about wanting to have grocery stores and planes that are child free :)" individualism has killed humanity so deeply

Hey, I just want to say that recently we've been engaging with people who go against one of our core beliefs without knowing and we're sorry to any of our followers who had seen this and knew. Won't name any names and also won't start petty user discourse.

Just know that this blog aims to be a safe space for those with personality disorders, psychosis, schizophrenia, and delusions while also maintaining being CDD and physical disability centric.

While we are anti-endo, we do not support the usage of words such as "psychotic" and "delusional" to describe endos and their supporters. There are much better, less insulting and less sanist adjectives.

If in the future we're reblogging from blogs who have a history of being ableist, sanist, etc, PLEASE do not be scared to inform us. Chances are we just don't know because we try to steer clear of user discourse. We do not want to give people like this a platform on our blog.

First controversial post in a while but people need to realize a therapist is not going to challenge you on your reality directly. Because that can be insanely harmful. If you walk in going "I'm a system without trauma" they wont tell you no. Or that you are wrong. Because directly challenging someone's world view is not how you gain a clients trust nor does it help recovery. OF COURSE THE THERAPIST ONLINE ISN'T GOING TO GO "endos aren't real" because that could push people who need help away from help. A therapist is going to say "I'm not going to rebuttal anyone's lived experience" because to you. You are a system without trauma. No matter how factual that is. That is the way you see your brain.

Which is why I want people to get help. If you believe you are a system if you end up being one or not YOU NEED THERAPY. No if ands or buts.

I don't think you are a system without trauma. And I think endo logic is inherently harmful. But you and your struggles are real. Because that's how you perceive the world. And I want you to get help.

when new alter fronts for the first time;;;

to be honest, i would consider it to be very disrespectful and toxic of him. Willingly, knowingly dating a system and expecting them to perform a singlet role because apparently he doesn't give half a damn about other system members (that, mind you, help the system live and function) is straight up garbage. Consider confronting him about it, because subjecting yourself to, as you put it, straight up torture for the sake of his comfort is not something that should be done in a loving relationship

I (host of a p-did system) am in a relationship with my singlet bf. Some of my more active alters have been wanting to front more, or atleast co-front, but my bf wants to spend all day talking to me and me only. He’s not interested at all in even meeting my headmates. I’ve been fronting for over a week now and it feels like torture and I really just don’t wanna front ishdbsnakkeksz

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My Punk Tips for a DIY Lifestyle:

Thrift some black fabric (or grab an old black shirt you don't care for anymore), get a white fabric marker, posca, sharpie, or paint and make a bunch of patches to sew onto your clothes.

If you're a digital artist this is your time to shine! Make stencils, posters, design clothes (there are free templates online), and if you don't own a printer libraries will let you print for cheap and sometimes free. My library card allows me to print 10 pages for free.

Reuse everything or if you don't want it anymore donate it or recycle it.

Trash is very punk. Soda can tabs for instance can make for cool jewlery. It's all about creativity.

Drug store makeup is your best friend and honestly they're sometimes better than the luxury name brand products. Or hell even make some of your own.

If you need to order something I suggest etsy. Yes, some of it's expensive but you're supporting small artists and buissnesses rather than a corportation. It's also easier to find poc, queer, and neurodivergent buissnesses and artists.

Overall punk is about being creative. Just get creative and have fun!

It's just me, the seven other me's, and the eldritch abomination who speaks with multiple voices.

Heh... These guys don't even know the true extent of my power...! (tries to switch to my awesome demon wolf alter but instead one of my many Old Man alters appears) Where am i

one of the most important things about dissociative identity disorder and generally being a system that i wish people would understand is that it truly isn’t as cut and dry as it may seem for member count.

you’ll see people who say they have “six alters” and then immediately assume it’s six fully fleshed out equal individuals with no confusion or fuzziness regarding identity. that’s simply not true in a majority of cases, as i have seen.

most systems still VERY much deal with confusion regarding potential splits, go through dissociative episodes where they’re unsure of who they are, sometimes feel no attachment towards any identities, feel like they might have split and then suddenly that person is gone, unsure if alters they haven’t heard from often have gone dormant, not sure how to react when alters do come out of dormancy, etc.

it’s not a fun feeling and it’s genuinely unfair in certain situations to force systems to list every single alter to you with full certainty, as if it will never change. because it will. for so many different reasons, systems will grow, they will shrink, they will fuse, they will develop. you can’t expect the person with the dissociative disorder and lack of core identity to be able to keep up a perfected list of forever, it’s simply impossible. you may have alters who stick with you, but that doesn’t mean changes won’t happen.

and systems who may be reading this — please don’t feel bad. you are not a hassle, you are not a headache, and you are not an inconvenience for simply coping with something like this. it’s out of your control and the only thing you can do is continue to cope to find ways to help yourself retrain from these reactions. please don’t allow yourself to be harmed by others who don’t understand what you are going through. there are people who will accept and love you for who you are, all of you.

past, present, and future.

"was it dishes again" Yes

Here’s my metaphor for systemhood that I tell my singlet friends.

Imagine you’re playing a first person video game. You have the controller, you control your character. It’s a normal first person game. You are an alter, the character is the body. This is fronting.

Other people live with you. Sometimes, they come into the room and sit and watch while you play. They sometimes try to guide you, give you advice on what to do next. They don’t always agree, and they can argue with each other. Other times they scream at you that you’re doing everything wrong and you suck at this game. This is co-consciousness.

Imagine how distracting it would be for people around you to tell you what to do, or to scream at each other or at you, even if they have good intentions. It wouldn’t be easy to focus on your game, would it?

Then sometimes, something happens in the game that prompts you to hand off the controller to someone else so they can play and you get a break. This is (some types of) switching. This can be good.

Other times, someone rips the controller out of your hand or fights you for it. This is (other types of) switching. And sometimes, six other players hook up their controllers, but there’s only one character to play as. So all of you have your controllers, but you’re all trying to play the same character. This is cofronting.

Imagine how difficult that would be. Imagine how hard it would be to try and play a game while someone is trying to take the controller from you, or while six other people are trying to play too.

There are also times that nobody is playing, or you can’t decide who should play. What’s happening to the character in the game? What are they doing if no one is playing? This is dissociation. The character is doing nothing. They’re stuck.

This is the best metaphor I have come up with for being a system. It’s something a lot of people get because they’ve played games before.