All Kobolds Can Hold The ZL Button To Crouch And Then Shake The Joycons To Roll Around In A Little Ball

BWAAAAHHHHH wake the fuck up everyone on earth

please don't have sex in disabled bathrooms if you're abled. we need somewhere to have sex too

i always forget my grandma used to be a clown so it caught me the fuck off guard when she saw this

and no hesitation saying “oh it’s that creepy clown- oh he’s drinking that’s against clown code”

after my werewolf boyfriend pulls out

 “hi welcome to mcdonalds what can i get for you?”

“yeah can i get a deluxe quarter pounder with cheese?”

“absolutely, do you want the meal or just the sandwich?’

“uuuuuh hold on”

*fishes something out of my pocket*

“mikey what do i do?”

“get the fries. youll need the energy in the coming days”

*stuffs it back in my pocket*

“uhh yes please  the meal would be great”

go back to sleep puppy *holds chlorophyll over your face*

men b like wow I’ve never met a girl who liked music before..

Sketch for Sampson

ALL UNITED STATES LOVERS OF MY HAMBURGER STORE POSTS will be happy to know I have tried "IN AND OUT HAMBURGERS" for the first time tonight. What follows is a detailing of my thoughts.

THE BURGER

I got a two-by-two in animal mode. This sounds like a plank of wood, which I guess is how eating a large hamburger can make you feel on a bad day.

It was pretty good.

It was VERY salty.

I seen people talk about them cooking the patties on the flat-top with mustard smeared on 'em. I like the way it seasons the meat, but I wish they either used more mustard or put mustard on the sandwich.

The special secret animal sauce is just fry sauce. It's good.

The onions were really nice.

The bun was noticeably good. I feel like some greasy spoons and hamburger stores, the bun's completely unremarkable. This one I noticed the presence and taste of the bread and it was good. Good ratio of bread to everything else.

I think I've had better burgers before, but it was a damn fine hamburger all the same.

THE FRIES

My fries were from the animal zone.

They just slapped a slice of American cheese on there!! I didn't realize it would have cheese. It was pretty good as far as American cheese goes.

The sauce is still just fry sauce. Still good. I suppose there's a reason why every hamburger shop's Special Sauce is just some variant of this same thing.

The onions went really good with the fries. I was surprised. I thought it'd be kind of "whatever" but I really liked the combo of everything together overall. Whole feels greater than the sum of its parts.

The fries themselves were the weakest link. I'm told I can get them "well done", but I wanted to try them the "default" way. I think next time I will ask for them to be cooked more.

THE MILKSHAKE

Thick as fuck!!!!

I want her to call me.

OVERALL: Was pretty good. If I was a person that was into cars and driving and American driving culture I probably would have liked it more as a wholesale experience. But the hamburgers they stock are pretty good.