I'm Fucking Dying At This Page Someone Shared On Bluesky.

Well, that’s enough internet for me today.

follow up question

are you fireproof

i once briefly set myself on fire at work after a customer handed me penis money, we didnt have hand sanitizer, so i doused my hand in disinfectant spray, forgot i did that, got bored, absentmindedly flicked a lighter that was at the register and then my hand went

🔥BWOOOOF🔥

krumblor cookie clicker. yes im serious

krumblor from cookie clicker (don't tell orteil42)

We took ~4500 cells from every person on earth and reassembled them into a single additional person. They are both child and clone to everyone alive. They speak an amalgam of every language but no single one fluently. They are the only true human, the long absent god of this world, and they are suing us for fifteen million dollars.

fucked up in the crib watching youtube poops inside payday 2

Gaston when he gets hungry

heist film but instead of a bank vault or casino, it's a group of moms & grandmas (outraged over grocery prices) holding a Costco's hostage while they steal all the food

*Payday players slowly putting their zerk molotovs down*

Re-blog if you're accepting anonymous asks from anyone about anything

remembering that time i got drunk and told a guy he looked like a wrought iron gate