Exactly.

are u ever too stressed to do anything like ur literally so stressed that it has reduced u to someone who stares at the wall for two hours instead of doing the things u need to do that will make u unstressed

Terrified Texan

I'm honestly terrified of being out in public now. I look Arab, even though I'm not. I'm born and raised in Texas. I'm gay. Maybe it's my paranoid schizophrenia, but I truly believe I will have to be careful when I'm out alone. I believe my looks were part of an assault by a police officer when I was travelling through west Texas. White people tell me I'll be fine. They say we'll get through this. But this isn't another Bush administration. This is this the xenophobic, homophobic, "disenfranchised", evangelical, white supremacist majority that incorrectly sees me as the enemy. With both Bush elections I was disappointed, but I wasn't terrified. I didn't joke about moving, I took democracy in stride and kept living my life. I jokingly get called terrorist, when I'm a native Texan. I get weird stares on the train and bus because I'm brown, and I was born in the US. I get searched every plane ride, even though I'm half white. In fact, I'm half Irish descent and half Indian descent. But I'm too brown for whites and too American for browns. I don't fit in, so I tend to stand out. And in doing so, I draw the ire and looks of others. There's too much hate and uncertainty in the world. This has always bred fascism, nationalism, and totalitarianism. And that's why I'm afraid. These ideals just won majority in the most powerful nation state in the world. And here I am, just wondering why people rationalize hate. Why has my country betrayed me? I'm truly worried for my safety in public. This wasn't the America I was promised under Reagan, Bush, Clinton, Bush, and Obama. My first political memory was watching the Berlin Wall fall. And now, my home will be building one. Winter is coming.

Watch: This is exactly what’s at stake on election day

follow @the-movemnt

Just got off the phone with legal aid and rehashing the trauma again. That was a very long conversation. Attempting to keep my head high and not get overwhelmed by everything. I am lucky enough to finish this day out with a dental appointment and moving things out of my storage unit. Lawyers, and dentists, and moving, oh my!

So this happens. Particularly zoning out, and it seems more intense now that I've been on medication. Sustaining concentration on anything is difficult.

I tend to crochet to keep myself grounded. But even then, I'll become enamored with the texture or my progress and I'll stop and dissociate. Even writing this reblog was more difficult than it should have been.

Are You Dissociating?

Dissociating is one of the most common responses to abuse and trauma. It involves feeling numb, detached or unreal and (while it happens to everyone once in a while) is experienced more frequently and severely in survivors. Dissociating people vary widely in symptoms and may experience any or all of the things from the following list.

You may be dissociating if you:

find yourself staring at one spot, not thinking anything

feel completely numb

feel like you’re not really in your body, like you’re watching yourself in a movie.

feel suddenly lightheaded or dizzy

lose the plot of the show or conversation you were focused on

feel as if you’re not quite real, like you’re in a dream

feel like you’re floating 

suddenly feel like you’re not a part of the world around you

feel detached and far away from other people, who may seem mechanical or unreal to you

are very startled when someone/something gets your attention

completely forget what you were thinking just a moment ago

suddenly cover your face or react as if you’re about to be hurt for no reason

can’t remember important information about yourself, like your age or where you live

find yourself rocking back and forth

become very focused on a small or trivial object or event

find that voices, sounds or writing seem far away and you sometimes have trouble understanding them.

feel as if you’ve just experienced a flashback (perhaps rapidly) but you can’t remember anything about it.

perceive your body as foreign or not belonging to you

(likes and reblogs always taken as support)

Be like Neil!!

THINK ABOUT HOW MANY PUPPIES WILL GET TO EXPERIENCE SNOW FOR THE FIRST TIME THIS WINTER. PUPPIES. CONFUSED ABOUT WHY THEIR FEET ARE COLD. CONFUSED ABOUT THIS FLUFFY STUFF. GOTTA BITE IT. GOTTA ROLL IN IT.

Ha ha seriously tho.

If you’re an introvert,  follow introvertunites.

Aww I love this!! 😍😍