Not Everyone In Gotham Has Batmobiles You Know

I must admit that “shit-ass” is not a word I ever thought I’d see in a 19th century letter… but here we are.

“This is kind of a shit-ass of a letter, but I just wanted to let you know I was alive.”

- Gilbert Patterson to Jack, June 16, 1896.

i feel like i'm going Italian

obsessed with the girl who says that if you lie on the floor long enough you will start to cry and shake because your body is 'releasing excess cortisol' like i just think you might be going through something girl

Most insane pipeline known to man:

Help your younger sister pass her university assignment -> Accidently end up as a part of the rebellion to overthrow the tyrannical president

Drowning.

Polonius: Tell Ophelia about the birds and the bees.

Laertes: They're disappearing at an alarming rate.

“I dressed myself hurriedly, and she handed me the articles of apparel herself one by one, bursting into laughter from time to time at my awkwardness, as she explained to me the use of a garment when I had made a mistake. She hurriedly arranged my hair, and this done, held up before me a little pocket-mirror of Venetian crystal, rimmed with silver filigree-work, and playfully asked: ‘How dost find thyself now? Wilt engage me for thy valet de chambre?’”

—

La Morte Amoureuse by Théophile Gautier (trans. Lafcadio Hearn)

This scene is honestly adorable, and made me think of how unique Clarimonde is for a vampire character from this era in that she actually has a sense of humor. 

By my count, Lord Ruthven laughs exactly three times over the course of The Vampyre: When Aubrey asks if he has any intention of marrying the woman he plans to seduce, when he’s killing Ianthe, and when he gets Aubrey to agree to The Oath™. It’s always ominous, malicious, or both, and it’s invariably in a situation where he’s enjoying hurting someone or having power over them. It’s never in a scenario where the audience would be laughing along with him, at something we’d find funny or endearing too. And that’s what you mostly tend to find in early literary vampires: even the more sympathetic ones (like E.T.A. Hoffmann’s Aurelia) are mostly just serious and brooding, without much by way of humor. 

By contrast, Clarimonde bursting out laughing because her sheltered dork boyfriend has no idea how fancy clothes work is… dare I say it, refreshingly human. There’s nothing malicious or malevolent in it, it doesn’t seem like she’s, idk, gloating in her power over him or something, she genuinely just seems to be giggling over him being an awkward dork. The same goes for the way she teases Romuald: It’s genuinely cute, and there’s a humanity and mutuality there that’s completely absent in a lot of early vampire/human dynamics (and later ones too - compare it to how Dracula’s Brides talk over Jonathan but never to him, for example). 

That doesn’t mean there’s no sense of foreboding to the story or to Clarimonde, I just think it’s an aspect that brings more complexity to the picture, and to this relationship. 

against the kitchen floor by will wood is so ricky “jupe” park coded

the curse is lifted! you are no a beast no more! congratulations! but you'll never forget the way they looked at you, will you.