They Are The Hottest

Based on a conversation I had with my friends today

Dick: Why are you crying?

Tim, crying: I just rewatched TASM 2 and Gwen didn't deserve that

Jason: [on his phone walking by] and you have a chemistry test tomorrow

Tim: [wailing harder] and I have a chemistry test tomorrow

bruce wayne is really into greek mythology and he'll infodump about it to anyone that'll listen

I like to think that when a parent has a emergency with their kid while working at Wayne Enterprise they just go straight to Mr. Wayne (if he’s in) No matter what, he has an open door policy. He encourages them to find him if they have any issues trying to get off work

Asshole supervisor: “and you have to leave? This isn’t a real emergency”

Parent: [walks off and gets onto the elevator to go to the board meeting currently in progress]

AS: “hey wait—“

Parent: [walks in quietly]

Bruce: “yes?”

Parent: “I have to pick up my child, I’ll be leaving soon”

Bruce: “is everything ok? Do you need time off?—“

Good parent and good boss Bruce Wayne

Dick can't be embarrassed pass it on

Tim: I want to tell Bruce that I'm queer but I just don't know how he'll handle it. How could he possibly understand?

Dick: *Having war flashbacks of a childhood spent dealing with Bruce sulking because he misses Khoa, grieving over Harvey, and breaking up with Clark every other month*

Dick: I think you're good, kid.

Ok ok ok: So when Cass first came to the family their where some problems, like when before going to a gala or anything Cass struggled to make herself presentable she was new to do this and it was stressful, yeah Alfred could help with the dresses and sometimes Barbara could come by but not often. Bruce noticed this and decided to do something, he talked to Diana, to Dinah, to Mari McCabe, to anyone who could help and learned how to do Cass’s make-up and hair. At first it was kinda awkward as Bruce is not a professional stylist and it was weird for Cass to have her dad do her hair, but with time they got used to it. After a couple times it became almost routine not just for Gala’s and fancy events but just for whenever, Bruce sitting on a chair in the bathroom as Cass sits on a little stool, Bruce with bobby pins in his mouth and scrunchies around his wrist, he is actually pretty good at it and sometimes people even asked Cass who did her hair and she never knows what to say. Its not commonly known but its also not a well kept secret, Hal didn’t believe it when Barry told him until Bruce confirmed it. At this point its a tradition and Cass and Bruce almost feel weird when they go to a gala without doing it.

gothams sleepiest detective

bruce has two phones, whatever newest wayne tech phone there is and the phone he had when jason died.

all most all pictures of jason are on the original phone, so when jason died he was terrified to get a new phone. because you always lose something when you get a new phone, and the thought of losing anything of jason panicked bruce. it was fine for a little bit but then wayne tech made a new phone and if bruce wasn’t seen with it everyone would lose there minds.

bruce ended up with two phones. he never uses the phone with jason’s picture, it’s in his nightstand. it’s in an otter box with everything backed up. but he refuses to risk it. the only reason he turns on the phone is to make sure the phone still works and everything’s okay, and to look at baby jay.

jason sends bruce very vague and very inside threats constantly.

like, when he was robin bruce accidentally stepped on a snail and the squish was so loud. jason got down on both knees and started sobbing about sylvia the snail dying. he wasn’t that upset but he was bored and thought it would be funny.

so sometimes he puts a posted note on the door of wayne manor that says, your going to end up like sylvia.

bruce gets happy every time he does it because it means jason remembers the good times they used to have. everyone else wonders who the fuck sylvia is and if jason killed her. bruce never tells them what the threats mean because he likes having things between him and jason.