This Was A Little Explanation Card I Created To Help Explain The Whole Hotwife Thing To My Wife. It Explained

Also sounds true.

Women Need More Than 1 Sex Partner

Anthropologists and sex researchers have puzzled over why women are multi-orgasmic and men aren’t.  It really doesn’t make sense if your model is that men are more sexual. Shouldn’t men be able to have multiple orgasms quicker than women? Yet it makes perfect sense when you realize women evolved for having multiple partners.

Of late, scientists are starting to believe that women who had greater orgasmic capabilities had greater survival outcomes thereby passing their genes onto their children.  This was partly reproductive.  A woman’s chance of getting pregnant was greater if she had sex with multiple men. Pretty simple.  In addition, the offspring's survival was greater if she had sex with multiple partners outside of her most fertile time of the month.  Multiple partners would help to take care of her and their children.  Consistent sex led to deeper social connections.

Women evolved to have multiple partners.   That was the natural order until relatively recently when the practice of 1 woman for 1 man took hold. 

All of this is confirmed by people in the lifestyle. A man’s sex drive  remains fairly stable even with multiple partners.  However, a woman’s sex drive skyrockets when she has multiple partners.  The way it takes shape might be different. Some women like a more connected approach with 1 or 2 additional sex partners.   Some women need the variety of many casual sex partners.  Either way, the husband benefits from having a more confident empowered wife.  A happy wife equals a happy life. 

More husbands are realizing this and helping their wives by encouraging them to take on additional sex partners.

Such a great post. I must help to keep it alive.

Sexual Questions ;)

1. First kiss? 2. First time masturbating? 3. First sex toy? 4. First kink tried? 5. First time doing oral? 6. First time having sex?
 -Turn Ons 7. Biggest turn on? 8. Biggest turn off? 9. Quickest way to get horny? 10. Weirdest thing that ever turned you on? 11. Top 3 places to be touched? 12. Ultimate fantasy? 13. Do you like the idea of a three or moresome? 14. Do you send nudes? Do you like receiving them?
 -Preferences 15. Sex or masturbation? 16. Spit or swallow? 17. Cut or uncut dicks? 18. Rough or sensual sex? 19. Oldest person you’d sleep with? 20. Loud or quiet partners? 21. How much foreplay do you like? 22. How much teasing do you like? 23. What is too big for you to take? 24. Do you do hookups or only sleep with a partner? 25. How much kissing do you like during sex? 26. What’s the most attractive part of the body?
 -Location 27. Would you have sex in public? 28. Last place you had sex? 29. Where would you most like to have sex? 30. Do you like spontaneous sex, or do you need to be in the mood? 31. Could you go through with a hookup at a strangers house?
 -Kinks 32. What’s your biggest kink? 33. Are you okay with name calling in bed? 34. Would you do any BDSM? 35. Do you prefer to tie somebody up or be tied up? 36. Do you like orgasm denial/forced orgasm? 37. Do you like overstimulation? 38. Do you like having pain involved? 39. Do you like biting/being bitten? 40. Have you ever been made to/made somebody beg for it? 41. Do you have any strange or extreme kinks? 42. Have any roleplaying preferences? 
-Masturbation 43. Do you own sex toys? How many? 44. What do you masturbate to? 45. How often do you masturbate? 46. How often do you use sex toys to masturbate? 47. Do you masturbate with penetration? 48. Do you go for multiple rounds or settle at one or no orgasms?
 -Oral 49. Do you enjoy giving oral? 50. Do you prefer giving or receiving oral? 51. What makes you orgasm the fastest when receiving oral? 53. Can you deepthroat? 
54. Do you like playing with your clit? If so how do you prefer to do it? 55. What’s your breast size? 56. How often do you go braless? 57. Do you finger yourself? 58. How familiar are you with your g-spot? 59. Do you squirt?
 -Sex 60. How often do you do unprotected sex? 61. How loud are you in bed? 62. Do you enjoy having nipples played with? 63. Do you like/dislike cum? 64. How good are you at dirty talk? 65. Do you get sleepy after an orgasm? 
66. Do you trim, shave or leave pubic hair untouched? 67. How do you prefer partners pubic hair? 68. How many orgasms can you have in a day? 69. How many other people know your bra size? 70. What do you wear to bed? 71. Any funny sex stories? 72. What food if any would you use during sex? 73. Would you give somebody a sex toy as a gift? 74. What’s the weirdest porn you’ve ever seen? 75. Do you often get horny in public? 76. Ever used something that isn’t made for sex in the bedroom? 77. Have you ever walked in on somebody or been walked in on? 78. Do you have any friends you’d sleep with?

We're going out this Friday night. Our kid is out with friends so we're going to our nearest bar "to be adults".

You have no idea how much I hope she flirts with someone.

Hold thumbs for me.

My wife's "Gym Hottie"

My wife and I gym separately at different gyms. I asked her to have a little perv next time she trained and she's come back having spotted someone who's caught her eye. She doesn't know his name, so we refer to him as her "Gym Hottie".

For about 2 weeks now, she's been giving me updates on how she managed to train next to him or cross paths while returning weights.

Thinking about her at gym watching him do his stuff, getting all hot and wet over a muscular, sexy hunk is enormously arousing to me. I hope she gets brave and chats with him. Some active flirting would be amazing and totally send me over the edge. I also love the fact that she's found someone she genuinely finds super attractive, not just settling for someone to make me happy with some made up stories.

I'm trying to play it cool, but everyday I want an update. I'm encouraging her, but don't want to push her.

She's soooooo sexy. I love her to bits!

Yup, that's me.

Whew... how I wish I would hear this from my wife.

How you started that talk about her be a hotwife?

Whew, as with most things, we struggle to remember how things started.

I think the first thing I did with her was to play a game. I made cards with questions on them and had her pick cards and answer the questions. The questions hinted at hotwifing eg: her first sexual experience and if she'd fantasised about having a threesome. 15-odd questions later and it was very easy to tell her how I find the idea of her being with another man was a very sexy idea.

I didn't justify or explain it. I just left it at that.

A week later, I tied her hands and blindfolded her, and told a little story about inviting a friend over, and then made love to her while wearing a penis sheath so I'd feel different. She really enjoyed it and next thing we know, the fantasy was acceptable.

Excellent. We've even done a few of these without realising it.

So you want to talk dirty but you have no clue what to say?

Dirty talk is an awesome way to explore your fantasies in a safe environment, but it can also be a daunting task if you’re not used to expressing your sexuality in such an explicit way.

What do you say? How do you say it? And how do you know he’ll like it?

Diclaimer: the following advice reflects our kinks and likes but the principles can be used for any fantasy you want to talk dirty about. We’re very much into hotwifing both of us. Basically he enjoys to watch me being fucked by a hung guy. He’s not into humiliation or being put down, but he do like to hear that another man can give me just as much pleasure as him, sometimes even more. For me, I enjoy walking that fine line where he’s a mix of horny and jealous. I want him to be horny thinking of me cumming over and over again, but I also love to know that it does sting a little bit when I tell him that a bigger dick can turn me into an obedient little slut and make me cum instantly.

Some safety rules.

First thing first. We don’t want your dirty talk to turn into a stupid argument, so let’s get some safety rules down first.

• Talk about what he like and doesn’t like beforehand. What I’m writing in this post is based on our likes and kinks, and they are not universal guidelines. You should always talk to your husband and find out exactly what it is he would love to hear from you. It’s important to keep this conversation non-sexual, so you get an honest answer, not a horny answer.

• What is said in dirty talk might not reflect real life. This goes both ways. Dirty talk is a great way to explore fantasies and boundaries, but not everything said when you’re raging horny is valid when you’re not. If something is said that surprises you, talk about it after. And remember, you’re going make him REALLY horny, so he might express fantasies or thoughts that is just that - fantasies and thoughts, and not necessarily something he wants to act on. In the same way you need to be clear about how you’re also just exploring your own fantasies as well as his, and might say something in the heat of the moment that you don’t necessarily mean or want to act out in real life.

• This is dirty talk, not a lie detector test. You’re allowed to exaggerate to increase his enjoyment, but I strongly advise you to reveal the truth after he’s had his orgasm so you won’t create a distorted image in his head.

What dirty talking is not

Dirty talking is not overthinking how to phrase the perfect sentence. In fact, once you start articulating your husband’s fantasies, I guarantuee he will be so horny he couldn’t care less how well you phrase it. Just the fact that you’re talking about his fantasies means that he’s too busy trying to keep his orgasm back to even care. Just relax and say something. Anything.

Don’t rush it

The goal with dirty talking is of course to make your husband have an amazing orgasm, but do not rush it!

I’ll dare say that for your husband the process and the talk itself is way more exciting than his orgasm. So take your time and let him  enjoy and simmer in it.

Don’t worry about repeating yourself

You might be thinking “but I already told him that story 3 times, I can’t think of something new”. Don’t worry about that, just tell it again. Trust me.

And now…. Without further ado here are my secret dirty talking methods that’ll make your husband lose his mind.

And then what

I find that the biggest obstacle in dirty talking is how to start it. That first thing you break the ice with. It can feel a bit awkward at first, but you’ll quickly get the hang of it. I’m a big fan of something I call the and then what technique. Basically you just start with a rather innocent question or statement and then evolve into the next natural thing that would happen. So you say something, and then pretend someone asks you “and then what” and then you answer that question.

So let’s pretend for a second you’re on top of your man, riding him cowgirl style and you want to spice it up a little.

Simply starting with a “you like the way I fuck you?” Is enough to break that awkward ice. He’ll answer yes of course. And then what? “then imagine how Mark (using names of actual guys you know works amazingly) would feel if I fucked him like this”

And then what?

“I would bounce up and down his cock just like this. He’ll get to feel how tight your wife’s pussy is”

And then what?

“then I want him to….”

You get it.

Reliving the past

My husband is very much into hearing stories about guys I used to fuck so this one is his favorite type of dirty talk. The way it goes is when I give him a handjob, blowjob or even ride him, I would say something like “you like the way I stroke your dick?” (asking if he likes it is always a great way to break the ice and initiate dirty talk without feeling awkward). This always gets me a very enthustiastic “YES!” to which I answer something like “this is exactly how I used to stroke [name of guy I used to fuck]’s cock…” (pause for dramatic effect) “except… His was a lot bigger than yours”. This line alone is usually enough to almost bring him over the edge, and if not it’s a great way to go into more details - how did it feel to stroke a much bigger dick, would you do it again, perhaps the guy used to get so horny that he would fuck you before you could finish the handjob, etc. Details, details, details, I can’t stress it enough.

Fair warning: not everyone is into hearing about your past! Make sure your husband is into that before springing this on him.

The commentator

This one is super easy because you don’t feel like you’re talking dirty, you’re just saying what’s on your mind. So the way it works is to watch porn with your man and simply make comments about the movie paying. Particularly about the guy and what you like about him. Compliment his dick, go into details about what you like about him, think out loud like “I really wish I could get fucked like that one day” / “look how big his dick is. He would make me cum so fast with that”

If you’ve fucked someone who reminds you of the guy, by all means tell your husband about it. Watching a porn with a guy who’s fucking some girl senseless and hearing your wife drop the bomb that the guy is the exact same size as some dude she dated in college is a sure way to make your husband look at the porn and all he will see is you being fucked right there on the screen. Very hot for both of you.

The yes ladder

This is a really simple but very effective technique that is easy for new dirty talkers and is guarantueed to drive him crazy.

In a nutshell what you do is ask him some questions that all leads to a yes. With each question the intensity in what you’re asking increases. There’s something crazy hot about this almost confessional way of talking dirty and being “forced to admit” your deepest fantasies. This is a great way to get yourself going, and to test out boundaries.

Optional: let him know ahead of time that you’re going to ask him questions and if he says no just once, he don’t get to cum. See what he’s willing to say yes to - just remember these are forced and horny yesses expressing what he likes in the heat of the moment. They don’t necessarily count in real life.

Example of a yes ladder.

“you like this huh”

“would you like it if i did this to another guy?”

“would you let me pick any guy i want?”

“what if i want a guy who’s bigger than you, would you allow that?”

“do you want him to fuck me hard?”

“what if he makes me cum really hard, can you handle that?”

“what if he makes me scream out his name, can you still handle it?”

“can I fuck him right here in our bed?”

“would you allow me to fuck someone I’ve dated before?”

“even if he really knows how to fuck me good?”

“what if I want him to fuck me while you wait in the other room, will you do that?”

You get it, just continue like this. Make the questions increasingly more provocative and test his boundaries, maybe even cross them if you know he can handle it.

The O-bomb

This method works extremely well if you’ve been teasing and playing with him for a while, keeping him right on the edge and he’s SO close now that you can make him cum any second.

All there is to it is asking him “do you want to cum?” he’ll answer yes almost pleading. And that’s when you drop the O-bomb. The O-bomb is some of the blue thought you put into his head and force him to cum to before he can even react.

For example: he just said yes he wants to cum. You then say “good. I want you to cum while you think of me cumming all over (name)’s big dick” and then you simply force him to cum before he even gets a chance to react. As he’s cumming you keep feeding him the thought over and over until he’s done. “yes, cum while you imagine how he makes me scream” etc.

The story

My personal favorite. One thing is to talk about imaginary stuff that could maybe some day happen. Another is to talk about stuff that actually already happened simply by telling him a story about some incredible hot sex you’ve had, either because the circumstances where hot, because the guy knew what he was doing and fucked your brains out or the guy happened to be seriously hung.

This is also super simple for you because you dont have to make anything up, you simply just tell what happened and describe the situation.

Don’t worry about elaborate descriptions or anything. Trust me he’ll ask you to elaborate when he hears something he likes. Just describe what happened and how it felt for you. Especially the “how it felt” part is very important.

The talk

Now in the safety rules i told you to talk about what he likes and dislikes without touching him so his arousal won’t reflect his answers. This time you do the exact opposite. Simply have a conversation about what he likes while slowly touching his dick. There’s something really hot about just talking while casually stroking him. And you’ll be able to measure his response simply by the way his dick throbs, which is incredibly hot.

How to start it: just casually ask him a question about his likes and as he answers you slowly start touching him while asking him more questions.

The close your eyes and imagine

Sometimes it can be a lot easier if your husband can’t see you when you talk dirty.

Example:

“close your eyes. Do you like my hands on. Your dick? Now imagine i was doing this to another guy. Stroking his big dick just like this. I would be so turned on knowing it isn’t you. My pussy would want to feel him inside me. Imagine how he would push me down and fuck me. Imagine how i would gasp when he starts to stretch me. How I would scream when he goes deeper than you.”

Do you see how the above also make use of the and then what technique to tell the next part of the story?

Putting it all together

Now, I know reading about it and actually doing it is two very different things. When you’re first starting out I actually advice you to plan out your dirty talking. This might not be as sexy and spontaneous, but while you’re still getting the hang of it it’s nice to be a little prepared so you don’t run out of things to say. I would also advice you to start off doing it while giving a handjob, as you will have a much easier time focusing on what to say than if you were giving a blowjob or having sex.

Let’s break the ice with an innocent “do you like the way it feels when I stroke your cock?”

When he says yes I would then say something like “good…. Now close your eyes” wait for him to do it.

Then: “would you like it if I did this to another man?” - “yes”

Then: “you know, [name of ex / bull / fantasy guy] used to love when I stroked his dick. Of course his was a lot bigger than yours, I could barely close my hand around it”

Then: “do you like that, thinking about how I used to stroke his big cock?” - “yes”

Then: “having that big cock in my hands always made me feel so tiny and horny”

Then: “do you want me to show you how I used to suck him?” - “yes”. Then put all your effort into giving the best head you have ever given.

Then: “mmh… Can you imagine how good his cock must have felt in my mouth? I used to suck him just like that until he came in my mouth”.

By now he should be getting pretty close, so it’s time put on the finale. Ask him “do you want to cum?” - “yes”. Start stroking him faster.

“tell me…” - make him say that he wants to cum.

“I want you to cum while you think of me getting fucked by [name]. He would always make me cum so hard. Imagine how I used to scream his name” - if you really want to go all out you could start moaning the name of this other guy, whether that’s your bull, an old fling, your husband’s friend or who ever you like to fantasize about.

Do you see how easy it flows from do you like it, to imagine it’s someone else, to describing how you used to do or would do it on someone else?

With time it will come naturally and you won’t have to plan ahead, but to begin with it’s nice to have an idea of how you want to start it, how you want to end it and how you bridge that gap.

There you have it. My secrets to driving your husband wild. Now go… Make him lose it.

This cartoon was what inspired me to do a few drawings of my own. I realised it expresses the idea better than most of the re-purposed photos circulating here. It's very easy to identify with it because he could be anyone. Thank you to the author.

How are you progressing toward actualizing the lifestyle in your marriage?

It's going well. It's still at fantasy stages, but she hasn't gotten bored with it and plays along nicely. Last week, I took my daughter to a school event. My wife worked late and we met back at home around 8pm. I asked if Robert (gym hotty) had come around while we were out. She ran with it completely, telling me how she had to kick him out early when I messaged that we were on our way home. I love my wife when she does stuff like this.