Puppy Play But Halfway Thru I Suddenly Start Barking And Run Off Into The Woods Faster Than U Can Keep

Concept: Wei Wuxian and Hua Cheng as Luo Binghe's younger biological brothers, but it's like, a lot younger.

Like centuries on. TLJ's recovered from his mountain-flattening to the point where he has roughly the strength and capabilities of a decent human cultivator. The world has changed. The boundaries between the realms have gotten stronger, and the potency of demon blood based powers in the human realms have accordingly weakened. Lots of cultivators have ascended, and the current ranks of them are not nearly as impressive as they used to be. Luo Binghe and his husband have withdrawn into the demon realm to try and keep the peace and maintain stability, but TLJ doesn't feel such an obligation and prefers the human realms even when his power is a lot weaker there, so as the boundaries grow thicker, he just sort of sticks around on that side of the divide.

Eventually he takes on the persona of a wandering cultivator, observing the changes that various human sects and societies undergo. As true immortals become much more rare and the cultivation methods and philosophies change, TLJ starts taking on different personas every few hundred years, just to avoid becoming too conspicuous. He observes with interest as the various cultivation sects shift from meritocratic to dynastic inheritance, as the old sects either ascend too far from humanity or else fall into obscurity, while the new ones that take their place provide ample fodder for his soapy RPF stories and gossip mill. The boundaries between worlds become so thick that only beings of extreme strength can pass through, with the most prominent "demonic" forces in the human realms becoming resentful spirits and ghosts, although even so sometimes an item or creature still manages to chance upon a weak spot and cross over.

Beasts and cursed items that would once have been mere trifles for cultivators to deal with instead become major sources of conflict and nigh-indestructible foes. TLJ feels at times like he's watching insects wrestle with the consequences of someone carelessly discarding a piece of garbage in their path, fascinated by the lengths they must go to in order to deal with it, but then he too has his limits these days on how much he can even help (if he chooses to do so, which he doesn't always).

At one point he decides that he'd like to try living life more from the perspective of some of these barely-above-mortal level cultivators. Like choosing to play a game with extra handicaps on, just for the challenge of it. He takes on the identity of a new young cultivator, recently bereft of a master and looking to join one of the great sects, and takes on the name of Wei Changze. Striking up a friendship with the young master of the Jiang sect isn't difficult, and playing the role of servant and subordinate is pretty entertaining.

TLJ is not expecting to encounter one of Su Xiyan's reincarnations in the midst of all of this, but that's life for you.

The new Xiyan, Cangse Sanren, is a lot sweeter than the cold and cutting sugar daddy of days gone by. But she's still quite ruthless when she wants to be, and extremely talented, and she still falls into TLJ's orbit even when she has much more practical options at hand. How can he not fall in love all over again? Even when he thought she orchestrated his betrayal, he never fell completely out of love. He might be a jillion years old by now, but at heart he still wants his Xiyan to pamper and spoil him, and to return the favor as much as he possibly can.

TLJ's no saint. He's as greedy as any Heavenly Demon, especially when it comes to love. So he doesn't refrain from stealing his new Xiyan, Cangse, away from all rival suitors when the opportunity presents itself. When she gets pregnant, he becomes nervous about history somehow repeating itself. He sort of wishes she hadn't. But she's excited, and he never really got to experience this with her the first time. He's greedy for any and all experiences with her, in the end.

The baby is cute. TLJ likes him. This new son also takes after his mother, which is good too. He's not much like Zhuzhi Lang except for being a bit simplistic (because he's a baby) but TLJ feels a stirring in his heart strings not unlike the sentiments he once held for his poor doomed nephew, a stirring that grows in time to become genuine affection.

Intriguingly, this son of his doesn't show many signs of his heavenly demon heritage. It isn't potent enough to require a cradle seal. There are hints of it, here and there, but only to one who knows how to look for the signs of true demon blood. Which actually isn't all that surprising in the end, hybrids can turn out any number of ways. Still, TLJ feels confident that by the time he starts walking and talking, little A'Ying could survive on his own.

Humans tend to raise their children longer for that, though, and Cangse is very attached to their son. So TLJ is like, oh well, no need to cut the apron strings even if this third wheel stuff is dragging on a bit (Wei Ying is four). He's maybe even actively enjoying parenting! He's pretty sure he's improving at it as well, like he always makes sure his son has enough money to buy food before they leave him alone for a few weeks, even though the boy is big enough to hunt small game. Spoils him, really.

But of course, then tragedy strikes again. Despite being stronger than most stuff, TLJ is not nearly as powerful as he used to be, and he sometimes sucks at guesstimating the actual differential between him and some of the malicious ghosts out there. His attempt to satisfy Cange's ambitions and take on the Burial Mounds go disastrously, with Cangse once again dying on him, and TLJ ending up trapped in the resentful mire of the Burial Mounds, body nearly destroyed (again).

So he spends several years locked in a depression fugue state and also very slowly regenerating his destroyed parts, lost in memories and grief, eating a lot of dead humans (never his cuisine of choice, but he isn't rich on options) when one day some rancid little upstart throws down a corpse that isn't a corpse, and is also very familiar.

Why, it's Wei Ying! And he's basically a man now! TLJ's not sure exactly how much time has passed, but given how badly humans age these days, it's probably less than a century. Wei Ying is injured and having a rough time of it, it looks like his human cultivation has gone badly somehow, but he still has enough potency to his heavenly demon blood that he'd need to be dismembered and probably eaten before death would really stick. He's not entirely lucid, though, and the malicious ghosts in the Burial Mounds aren't helping.

TLJ figures, well, he is a father after all, and Cangse was so attached to their little dumpling. He'll help out! Just until the kid gets his legs back under him again. So as Wei Ying scrabbles in the dirt and writhes in torment against the dark energy of hostile ghosts, he also gets to hallucinate his father's half-rotted visage talking him through the basics of some demonic cultivation techniques that ought to help him crawl back out of this pit.

It's a good day when Wei Ying manages it. TLJ wishes him all the best, he truly does, and then he goes back to wallowing. For like five minutes (to him). Then somehow his clingy second son returns to the region, if not to his specific pit, and brings with him a gaggle of humans in varying states of distress and poor health. TLJ finds that the neighborhood has become noisy, but at least this noise involves some interesting news and gossip, and Wei Ying appears to be mastering some kind of hybrid ghost/demon cultivation technique that is pretty fascinating. Trust Cangse's son to be so creative! And he farms, too! Badly, but. Well. TLJ certainly can't throw stones, he's never once gotten the hang of gardening himself either. The only thing he's good at growing is parts of his own body, haha!

He's actually pretty upset when the human cultivators turn up and his son ends up getting torn apart and devoured by the backlash of his own innovations. TLJ briefly considers tearing himself out of his shallow not-grave to kill everyone involved, but that does sound like a lot of effort, and in his experience revenge just never works right anyway. So after a while he just crawls his way out more sedately, saves his energy and uses it to cross back over to the demon realm for a while.

He revisits his eldest son, and is like hmm this is how you decorate a palace? No no it's fine I guess. Where's Mobei Jun's little hamster man, has he written anything new lately? By which I mean in the past thousand or so years. Oh he has! Great! Also you had a younger brother for a while there. Yeah no he's dead now. But he did exist, I actually liked him, very creative boy. Shame about the angry mob.

To which Luo Binghe's response is basically some flavor of "I don't care" whereas Shen Qingqiu is genuinely distressed that Binghe had a brother and didn't even get to meet him.

TLJ hangs out for a while, reads through all of Airplane's latest works, recovers his strength, does some "bonding" side quests with Binghe courtesy of his son-in-law's meddling (doesn't really work), and then eventually decides to go back and see what's going on in the human realm again. He can't help it, he's just not really into demon culture that much, there are only so many years he can spend lounging around the place before he starts feeling itchy and recollecting every agonizing hour of youthful displeasure and boredom that defined his life as a prince.

Getting back to the human realm is even more difficult by the time he leaves again, though. The Heavens are being annoying about it. There are tiers of Heaven, of course, and lately the lowest tier (closest to earth) has been taking a fairly hard stance about keeping the realms apart. Probably because all those gods are still weak enough that even TLJ's failson could just smash them to pieces if so inclined, and the higher tiers have been consumed with their own celestial matters, so most of these junior gods haven't had much guidance and are convinced they are responsible for the order of the universe.

Imagine being less than a thousand years old, coming from the era where most cultivators don't even ascend anymore, and thinking you're hot shit just because you moved up a single rank in divinity. Whippernappers, all of them. TLJ would scold them but that sounds too much like hard work, and anyway they don't even know that he can listen in on their noisy little communication arrays and settle back with some popcorn to watch their dramas unfold. It's like his own personal television channel.

Though he doesn't let himself think directly about it too much, he is also on the lookout for another reincarnation of Xiyan. Things ending in tragedy twice can only make it more likely that they should go well the third time, right? Or, even if not... the tragedy might be tolerable, so long as there's a reprieve of togetherness beforehand again.

Alas, TLJ is not in luck for quite some time. In a moment of weakness he even settles for the pursuit of a spirited young commoner with a just-similar-enough kind of temperament to soothe the ache, before making him feel all the more unsatisfied in the aftermath. It's not that he imagines himself keeping faithful to a woman who has been dead (again) for ages and may or may not be reborn one day, it's more the feeling that having something near to the right thing is, in its way, even more unsatisfying than nothing.

Anyway, the young lady eventually tracks him down with news that she's pregnant, which TLJ supposes could plausibly be a result of their tryst. He gives her some money and tells her to contact him if the baby is weird, which does end up being the case (red eyes, clear demonic tendencies) so he provides some more compensation, at least until the kid is big enough to survive on his own. Then he just sort of peaces out to keep looking for Xiyan-Cangse Mark III, good luck to Third Son, it's not like this world is especially dangerous to a heavenly demon with blood that potent anyway.

Or rather, it shouldn't be, but plot twist: Third Son didn't get the regenerative abilities in the hybrid lottery. He dies on a battlefield. TLJ doesn't even hear about it, though he does eventually assume that the kid must have died because he's not hearing anything about a red-eyed conqueror or such after a few decades and that's unusual for Heavenly Demons. He's not too bothered in this instance, however, because he didn't let himself get attached this time. Smart of him. That whole Wei Ying business was just awful, he still thinks about it occasionally and he'd really rather move on.

Eventually a new ghost city crops up. TLJ doesn't think he'll find any version of Xiyan there, but he goes to check out the night life. Lo and behold, he finds himself spying a familiar face at the new gambling den, too. He's never heard of a Heavenly Demon becoming a ghost, but again, hybrids can be weird like that, and ghosts have filled a lot of the ecological niches left behind by the absence of demons. Ghost King, huh? Turns out Third Son is conquering his way across these piddly little realms. Good for him! Good for him. TLJ opts not to interfere. After all, he's not needed, the kid doesn't owe him anything, and he's mostly just in the city to collect gossip and enjoy the market. They get some interesting books.

He does cheer for this "Hua Cheng" when the kid beats a whole bunch of junior gods into the dirt. This must be the appeal of children's sports teams. The divine communication arrays start buzzing about this calamity, as the youths call it, and TLJ decides he's once again doing pretty good at this fatherhood business. Two interesting sons out of three isn't half bad!

The show gets even more entertaining when it turns out that Third Son has been carrying a candle for a particular disgraced god (Heavenly Demon romantic hyperfixation strikes again) and said god ascends once more, and this time there's all sorts of intrigue and plot twists in the heavenly court. It's so good that TLJ even goes to the effort of placing a call to the demon realms and magically livestreaming some of it to his son-in-law, who was so disappointed to miss seeing Wei Ying in action.

Unfortunately, the event he manages to livestream also features Hua Cheng dying. Whoops?

Well, it's a fittingly dramatic end to the story, even if his eldest son is pissed at him for upsetting his son-in-law with such things. His intentions were good!

As it happens, too, his divine livestreaming was a little more strongly broadcast than intended (well, he had to get it through the realms, that's not easy these days) and someone picked it up on the other side of the celestial divide as well. Specifically, one of the higher tiers of heaven. Which is how TLJ finds out that Wei Ying had actually come back from his first death, in a new body (smart kid!) and then subsequently hooked up with one of those Lan boys and ascended to godhood together.

After reuniting, Hua Cheng also proves resilient to the whole dying business, and so TLJ decides to make things up to Shen Qingqiu by organizing a family reunion.

His efforts initially garner interest from Wei Ying, coldness from Lan Wangji, glacial indifference from Hua Cheng, and some very cautious encouragement from Xie Lian (his sons all have impeccable taste in men), before the reunion finally happens and the gates of hell spring wide to bring forth the ultimate evil (Luo Binghe) and his better half, armed with some delicious banquet dishes and gifts for Shen Qingqiu's new brothers-in-law.

Dark Lord and The Master of Death Harry Potter

truth serum / system reveal au where shen qingqiu gets hit with an uncloaking spell that reveals the system in the reflection of his eyes every time it pops up.

during one of his missions, in the treasure hoard of some dragon-like creature, he finds a golden, oval shaped hand mirror, its gaudy style more victorian based than anything (airplane you hack!), that doesn't seem to do anything when he looks into it. but when he does, it reveals the system's screen in his eyes.

he doesn't notice this, of course, because he can't see it, and the system, surprisingly, stays quiet.

the peak lords think he's cursed.

maybe mu qingfang is the first to notice, during the mandatory post mission check-up, when shen qingqiu is scrolling through his most recently accumulated points and mu qingfang can see the strange vividly-blue lines reflected in his pupils. it's gone when shen qingqiu blinks, like it was nothing but a trick of the light.

it comes out when yue qingyuan is visiting and, just as he's done laying out the plans for a new mission, shen qingqiu's eyes glaze over and a bright blue box takes over the whole of his iris. shen qingqiu goes quiet; the thing in his eyes moves, shifts, pulses for a second, like static worms crawling all over his pupils. then he blinks, and it's gone, and shen qingqiu accepts the mission that yue qingyuan was almost sure he would decline.

maybe there is an intervention, when the peak lords corner shen qingqiu at qian cao peak and try to figure out what's wrong, subjecting him to all kinds of treatments and curse-finding spells that turn up empty, they can't find anything.

of course, the silencing threat is still very much up and running. at first shen qingqiu was kind of confused by the whole ordeal, but when the peak lords start describing a "strange blue box", he realizes, with sickening suddenty, that they're describing the system. and he can't say anything.

this only makes everything worse, because their fellow peak lord now keeps evading every question and acts like he doesn't understand. liu qingge points right at his face and asks, "that blue box, what is it?" and shen qingqiu laughs nervously and starts talking about how bright the weather is and surely it's the sky and nothing to worry about!

even worse, during the intervention the system thought it was a good idea to start talking to him, so now even the peak lords who hadn't seen it and who might have been persuaded by light tricks and reflections, get a first row view that no, that definitely isn't a trick of the light.

they try to do the whole thing of "are you in danger, blink twice" but shen qingqiu can't even do that because it's still a direct admittance!

maybe eventually he starts saying vague confirmations that don't actually confirm anything, like "this master hears what you're saying", or maybe he goes with a classic "this master can neither confirm nor deny that." but the system starts warning him for that too and eventually he stops saying anything, which worries the others more.

luckily mu qingfang catches on that every time they ask a direct question about the box or shen qingqiu says anything vaguely confirming, it appears. it doesn't appear when they ask about curses or demons, so it must not see that as a threat.

for a little extra angst: maybe the peak lords keep pressuring him for answers, and at some point shen qingqiu gets fed up and snaps out something like, "why don't you understand that i'm not allowed to answer that!" the system counts this as a direct admittance, threatening it's existence. so it punishes. shen qingqiu has a qi deviation so bad it lasts two weeks and takes two people every day to cleanse his meridians. the system doesn't appear in that time. it doesn't appear for a long while after that, either. the peak lords stop asking, mainly because shen qingqiu will instantly leave the room if they do. they don't stop searching for a cure, though.

shang qinghua returns from a business trip and catches on the second someone mentions a blue box and forced silencing.

SV AU where Shen Qingqiu manages to convey to Luo Binghe, before sending him into the Abyss, that he's not rejecting Binghe it's just that his Heavenly Demon heritage means that he absolutely MUST go into the Abyss and do something (not particularly defined) because Binghe is the only person who could possibly do it and it is related to his destiny and the fate of the whole entire world, somehow.

So naturally Luo Binghe takes this to mean that there is an Extremely Important Mission that he must accomplish in the Abyss, and that he can't come back until he figures out what it is and does it.

It can't just be Binghe's own trial-by-fire training, because how could that be important to the fate of the rest of the world? (Binghe does not know he is the protagonist of a novel.) So it also can't just be making it to Xin Mo and then getting back out again, even though leaving and going home is what Binghe personally desires most, because how could there be any purpose to him going if he just rushes through and does nothing except try to leave?

End result: Binghe takes longer to leave the Abyss because he concludes that his reason for being there is to end the eternal suffering of its inhabitants by changing the nature of the domain to be less rampantly hostile. Which, it turns out, is harder than just escaping.

Silly fic idea for you:

SVSSS AU where Shen Yuan transmigrates as a half-human half-crow-demon Phantom thief character.

He doesn’t want to steal from Bing-ge, but his System makes him, and naturally Bing-ge ends up obsessed. Bing-ge keeps luring him into traps with shiny things he just can’t help but want!!! Stupid crow impulses. (That he kinda wants to see Binghe again is irrelevant, obviously).

This is SUPER silly. Anon, this is so funny, I feel like I simply have to write this now oh my god. The idea that Bing-ge is confused at first, and he then sees this super handsome half bird-half human-demon thing and is like "man I need to get me more shiny things, I want to keep this fucker". ALSO, (I've heard that) crows are quite intelligent and start leaving presents as a response to getting fed or being given shiny things, so it could also be something where Shen Yuan starts having the urge to give Bing-ge things back after receiving all these shiny things (better if he doesn't recognise most of the traps as traps, mistaking Bing-ge for being a generous demon who doesn't need all of the shiny stuff he takes) and starts giving him shit like rocks and plants and the cool parts of beasts he fights... It also can be silly no matter when in the timeline this happens - it could be during the QJ peak arc where Shen Yuan sneaks around because he wants to see the awesome protagonist up close! The first time he steals something from Bing-ge, it's something super dumb like a particularly shiny rock or a coin that the boy left lying around, and Bing-ge's quickly like "??? The fuck just happened?" so he sets up a trap with the axe he uses for chopping wood (kind of rusty but still useable and particularly shiny). After that, it's chaos of trying to keep Shen Yuan the demon hidden while also stopping him from stealing other shiny things (cultivator's swords and such). Liu Qingge finds Shen Yuan trying to steal one of the swords he was gifted after saving a village and is also like "??? Kill?" It can also be after the Endless Abyss, when Bing-ge is like a demon lord and just has shiny stuff lying around. He throws it out occasionally and one day, while doing this, he notices a certain person swooping in and grabbing one of the shiny things. More antics ensue but I don't want to crash my laptop lmao (Which one would you rather me do, anon? Before the Endless Abyss, or after? Or both??) {part one! Part two, part three, part four, part five, part six, part seven!} [This gorgeous fanart from @slurmdog that's making me go insane here] [More awe inducing fanart from @moonlightobsessions that has made me pass out here]

While Shen Jiu would initially scoff at “would you still love me if I was a worm?” He would not so secretly love it if Yue Qingyuan said he would still love him if he was a worm and would not so subtly prod YQY for how he would take care of and cherish worm-Jiu

Shen Jiu would declare he absolutely would NOT love YQY if he was a worm because that’s DISGUSTING. but when frantically trying to find YQY after a weird qi deviation and stumbling upon an errant worm, he holds it very gently and says it will be okay and kisses its little head (?), which human man YQY who just stumbled out of the bushes finds soul meltingly adorable.

Kinda wanna read/write a post-canon Bingqiu fic set years later, where during some routine, silly wife plot, Binghe somehow finds out that the soul attached to his husband’s body is not, in fact, the original soul.

Like any person, his first assumption isn’t that his husband had replaced the original SQQ. It’s that an imposter has replaced his husband.

A skilled imposter. One who knows all of his husband’s little quirks, who slipped under even Binghe’s watchful eye.

Binghe takes care to not indicate that he’s noticed. His blood parasites confirm this is still his husband’s body, and he refuses to scare them into running before he can get the imposter out.

Binghe spends weeks researching and practicing, until he’s finally certain he can tear the imposter’s soul apart without hurting his husband. Praying, desperately, that it’s a powerful possession instead of a replacement. Praying his husband is still alive in there.

Finally, he slips into the imposter’s dreamscape, clinging to threads and forcing his way as close to the soul as possible, for the surface-level dreams show him in SQQ’s body. Inside, he finds a small man, with big eyes and stick-thin arms, features far too similar to his Shizun. A cheap, pathetic mockery of Shen Qingqiu, he makes sure to tell them.

They are weak outside of Shen qingqiu’s powerful body. It is all too easy to restrain them, to rage and revile them for their crimes, to question what they’ve done, to tear them apart, limb from limb-

“How long?,”He’d snarled, furious, claws digging into the pathetic parasite’s left arm, yanking it just far enough for the strain to burn.

“Years,”The imposter says, eyes wide and wet. Crying.

Years. Years with his husband that this imposter has taken, has stolen from them. Nights spent entangled, lazy mornings spent curled into each other’s embrace, soft evenings spent watching the sunset.

Binghe yanks the arm the rest of the way out, relishing in the way the parasite screams. It will know pain for what it’s taken from him, for what it’s taken from his Shizun.

XXXX

At first, Shen Qingqiu, formerly Shen Yuan, didn’t know what was happening. He’d thought of himself as Shen Qingqiu for years now, so waking up in his original body had been confusing and disorienting.

When Binghe appeared as well, he knew immediately it was a nightmare. It couldn’t be anything but that. Binghe, his Binghe as he was now, would never look at him like this, like he was the dirt on the bottom of his shoe, the scum of the earth.

It was rare to have nightmares nowadays. Binghe was always watching his dreams too closely to let something like that slip by. But the last few weeks, he’d been absorbed in his newest little pet project, exhausted and stressed by whatever it was he refused to talk about. Shen Qingqiu didn’t blame him for having one night of sleep without constant vigilance.

“So the imposter shows himself,”Dream-Binghe said, and ah, what an odd thing to dream up! Shen Qingqiu was just as good as the original goods, and he knew it! There was no way at all he had such insecurities, and certainly not any strong enough to appear as dreams! If he’d had such dreams before, that was simply a coincidence, a trick of the mind repeating the scenario it’d already created to avoid making a new one.

But Binghe doesn’t rant and rave at him for lying, doesn’t call out his betrayal. Instead, his eyes hard and cold, his claws tight where they dig into his wrists, he questions him.

Why?

I don’t know, Shen Qingqiu has to answer. I woke up in this body.

Where is he?

I don’t know, he answers again.

How long?

Here, Shen Qingqiu bites down a cry of pain as his left arm his yanked painfully out, a loud pop as it tugs out of his socket. The pain is real, he realizes deliriously. It’s real the way the Punishment Protocol had been. The thought makes ice pool in his chest.

What had he done to deserve a punishment from the System?

The hand tightens, the bones in his wrist creaking ominously at the strength of the hold.

The look in Binghe’s eyes hurts far more, though. Shen Qingqiu doesn’t even notice the tears in his eyes until they’re spilling over, until his voice comes out as a broken warble.

“Years,”He whispers at last, aware he’s hammering the final nail into his coffin.

It’s only as his arm is yanked away, as muscle and sinew tears with a sickening squelch, that it occurs to him. The punishment protocol had worked by sharing his dreamscape with the original Bingge. It hadn’t summoned nightmares out of no where.

This wasn’t Bingge. He’d known it on sight. Had recognized it in the curlier hair, the taller build.

This wasn’t Bingge. This was his husband.

And this wasn’t a dream.

XXX

Binghe watches as the pathetic worm scrambles away from him, gasping and hiccuping through his tears. His remaining arm shakes against the jagged edge of his stump, trying to stem the flow of blood. It won’t do a damn thing. This is a dream world, and that form is just a representation of his soul.

“I’m sorry,”It begs, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Binghe forgive me- “

“Do not call me that,” He hisses. This parasite had squirmed its way in, had settled in and gotten comfortable in its place as his husband, but that spot would only ever belong to his Shizun, his rightful Shizun. Everything else… everything else had been a lie!

“No!,”The imposter gasped. Had Binghe spoken out loud? “No, it wasn’t! I really- I really tried to be honest, I- I-“

It gulped, face pale and wan, tears spilling over its cheeks. Its voice dropped to a whimper.

“I loved you. I thought you loved me too.”

Luo Binghe let out a harsh laugh. So that was the plan? Replace his husband and try and make him grow attached? Try to squirm into his heart, when it was already spoken for?

“I could never love a pathetic fake!,”He snarled. “I’ve been planning your death from the moment I learned!”

The imposter sucked in a sharp breath. They stopped scrambling away, simply sitting before him, shaking and curled into themselves.

It didn’t try to run again as he stepped forward. Not even as he grabbed its leg and tore it from its body. It screamed, and thrashed, but made no effort to pull itself away again.

Instead, the insolent wretch began muttering under his breath, a plea and a prayer in one. Begging for forgiveness, for the dream to end, for Binghe to wake him up. Pathetic. Had the imposter really fallen in love with him over the course of its tenure?

He dug his claws into the stump at its shoulder to stop it. The muttering broke into muffled cries, biting their lip as they struggled to hold them back. A habit he recognized from his husband. Disgusting, he thought, holding to the illusion for pity until the very last second.

“You’re just a cowardly weakling, leeching off of Shen Qingqiu. You fell in love with me? Then know this in your heart.”

Binghe dug his fingers in harder, harder, until his claws scrapped against the shattered bone of the socket and dug in. The parasite’s eyes nearly rolled back into its head as it jerked. Binghe lifted it off the ground by the bone, then held still until the worm caught its breath.

“I could never love the man before me. I would never have even looked at you twice had I known.”

Binghe expands his awareness to the dream world around him. From a greater distance, the soul of the imposter is more like a small flickering flame, a little glow between his hands, than a man.

It takes almost no effort at all, to close his fist around it and smother the flame.

XXX

Binghe wakes up in the morning, ecstatic to finally be done with this journey and desperate for love from his husband who he’s apparently not seen in years.

Shen Qingqiu doesn’t wake up with him.

Shen Qingqiu doesn’t wake up at all.

XXX

Anyway now that I’ve officially written a short version of it I want y’all to know that Shang Qinghua would be the one to tell him, after rushing over when he gets an alert that the account of User 002 was deactivated.

Binghe gets to metaphorically self-destruct, realizing everything he said and did was to his own husband and not an assumed imposter. The world shapes itself to Binghe’s wishes, and he still has access to the holy mausoleum, so he manages to bring back Shen Qingqiu. I debated having him bring back Shen Jiu instead but I love the protagonist of any book I read, and that includes Shen Yuan, so instead he brings back his husband whose heartbroken and runs off, with a new level of instinctive terror to go along with it. Binghe really does try to give him room, but that does neither of them good because Binghe drowns in his guilt and the confirmation of his husband’s fear, and Shen Yuan drowns in his heartbreak and confirmation of his husband’s rejection.

The happy ending comes after a slowburn of binghe groveling and breaking himself down(a la Lost and Found in Limitless Clarity) with a side of both being left with new insecurities to add to the existing ones post-canon.

(And if Binghe now dreams of the delicate flicker of a soul between his hands, now jolts awake to the reminder of how small it was, how easy to smother, well-

-it’s the least he deserves, isn’t it?)

Okay, concept:

Luo Binghe grew up very poor prior to arriving to QJP. And when he first got to QJP, he was ostracized and neglected. So there are probably a lot of phrases, terms, and ideas that he didn't know were things until SY arrived and started actually teaching him. Right? So the bulk of what he did learn, he learned directly from Shen Yuan's own slightly messy attempts to fake ancient scholarly credentials.

Plus, QJP is supposed to be the peak of scholars and well-read, fancy intellectuals, and YQY probably also doesn't know shit about most of that stuff (having also been a former illiterate street child) and of course is incredibly predisposed to take Shen Qingqiu's side on virtually anything. Especially something frivolous or linked to their shared past, such as someone, say Qi Qingqi, accusing Shen Qingqiu of making up a literary reference or "gibberish" word. If something Shen Qingqiu says is something no one else seems to know, that just proves he's more worldly and well-read than the rest of his peers. Also, Shang Qinghua will probably know it, and despite his many (many) character flaws, Shang Qinghua reads a lot too. There's really very little to convince a former street child turned Demon Emperor whose former education began and ended with Shen Qingqiu specifically and Meng Mo (wildly out-of-touch with human culture anyway) to suspect that some of the difficult-to-source references his master makes really have no worldly source (in this world).

So Luo Binghe, in his quest to become as knowledgeable of all things about his shizun and keep up with him as well as possible, and maybe also put down some arguments he's overheard once and for all, eventually gets annoyed because CLEARLY there is a wealth of cultural knowledge contemporary to Shen Qingqiu and Shang Qinghua that didn't survive to his own generation. His efforts at hunting down all the sources being referenced and origins of certain philosophical ideas or terminology keep coming up empty in certain departments. He's been over the entire QJP library with a fine-tooth comb, but QJP focuses on things pertaining to cultivation, history, and knowledge. Obviously, there are gaps. The archives are unlikely to keep pop cultural references and lowbrow literature, and Luo Binghe begins to suspect (from what tastes his master seems to share with his shishu) that that is that actual source he's missing.

The trashy yellow books and romance literature of their generation! Bawdy poems and lewd artworks so on! Heck, that's probably even where the shared "code" (bad English) comes into play -- disciples are always trying to sneak forbidden material past their teachers and smuggle naughty books into the dormitories. Knowing Shizun and Shang Qinghua, Luo Binghe honestly wouldn't be surprised if the two of them were racketeering that shit in their own disciple days. Shang Qinghua acquiring materials, Shen Qingqiu acquiring buyers, both of them making their extra spending money off of secretly supplying Cang Qiong's population with contraband fiction and art.

Also, that would explain why both Shen Qingqiu and Shang Qinghua get flustered and refuse to elaborate if someone asks them what this or that strange turn of phrase refers to. Shen Qingqiu has a very thin face for actually discussing erotica, and Shang Qinghua doesn't like being caught doing illegal shit.

Luo Binghe desperately needs access to trash lit that's older than he is. However, most of that stuff is not printed to last, and turning it up is like trying to find old Spirk zines without the internet.

Shang Qinghua, the obvious go-to source, also seems to not really have anything that old anymore (intimidating him is laughably easy, if he had anything he would have coughed it up by the second or third time Luo Binghe asked and frowned at the same time), and if Shen Qingqiu did have anything he wouldn't want to be questioned about it. Asking too much might even get it destroyed in an act of excessive embarrassment.

Which means there is just one other person Luo Binghe knows who might be able to lead him to some sources. One other person he is absolutely, 100% certain was extensively reading trashy literature around the same time that Shizun was a young man. Someone who would know where to go to even begin looking for it.

Luo Binghe is going to have to ask Tianlang Jun for help with something.

Romantic bingqiu with queerplatonic liushen and eventual queerplatonic bingliushen, pretend relationship

---

When Binghe is in the abyss, Lqg gets into a bit of a conundrum.

Political peak lord reasons make him have to find a partner, as quickly as possible. Seeing his friend strangely upset about him, Sqq goes to reassure him that he could get any girl he wants and gets an awkward confession instead that Lqg, in fact, isn’t interested in anyone either romantically or sexually and probably never will be. Sqq, bro that he is, makes a suggestion. They’re going to pretend to be a couple so Lqg doesn’t have to get together with anyone that would have expectations. 

This goes surprisingly well. Lqg visits Sqq so often that he might as well live in the bamboo house too and no one doubts that they’re a couple. They get along well after a few initial hiccups and quickly grow very fond of each other until they’re inseparable. 

After almost two years of all that, Binghe returns from the abyss and, through the power of communication and Lqg’s bluntness, makes up with Sqq and returns to Qing Jing Peak as a disciple, miraculously recovered from death.

At this point, Binghe doesn’t feel entitled to his Shizun’s love, so when he finds out that Liushen are “together”, he quietly accepts it even though his heart breaks a little.

Several months pass that look somewhat like this: 

Lqg goes on hunts, brings Sqq back interesting things and is overall very content with his life. He also expects Sqq to eventually get together with the disciple he acted like a grieving widow about for so long. He’s secure enough in his relationship with Sqq to know that it won’t change that much, even when Bingqiu happens.

Sqq is ecstatic that Binghe is back and that he has somewhat forgiven him. He can’t stop touching him and making him spend time with Sqq and squeezing as much time and attention out of Binghe as he can while wondering why he still wants more. He’s also very confused as to why he keeps getting upset when Binghe talks too much to any girl or is out of his sight for more than two hours. Lastly, Binghe seems strangely down, but Sqq is sure it’s just the lingering trauma from the abyss. He also keeps the fact that his relationship with Lqg is purely queerplatonic a secret, partly because he barely even remembers these days that they’re pretending to be romantic and partly because he doesn’t want to betray Lqg’s trust.

Meanwhile, Binghe is devastated every time he sees Liushen being tender or comfortable with each other and more or less depressed the rest of the time. He looks at Sqq yearningly 16 hours a day and cries into his pillow every night. He hates Lqg with all of his soul, but can’t even find that much fault with him except that he doesn’t cook or clean for Sqq and that he doesn’t flatter and admire Sqq enough and that he isn’t jealous enough and does Sqq even feel loved??? 

He goes through a whole arc of cooking and cleaning for Sqq before he realises that it makes him too sad to do that when Sqq will never return his love. He also decimates three entire demon clans and the demon realm is weeping and desperately trying to find Binghe a bride so he’ll calm down.

It all comes to a head when Binghe decides he can’t take it anymore and packs his little rucksack to leave Qing Jing Peak. He only gets halfway down the mountain before Lqg catches him in the act and confronts him because: Is he going to abandon Sqq? Does he not love him after all??

Binghe tensely tells him that he doesn’t need to worry, Binghe isn’t going to try and steal him from Lqg. He was just about to leave.

Lqg replies that he better get his butt back up there and explains the situation to him.

Having his worldview rearranged, Binghe quietly goes back to the dorms and takes a few days to process the information. Lqg and Sqq are together but not romantically? Not even sexually? Binghe isn’t quite sure how someone can be with Sqq in a purely platonic way but he’s prepared to accept it. It takes him a while, but eventually, he reaches the conclusion that: if he has the chance to be with Sqq as long as he accepts that Lqg is going to be a part of their life too, he’s gonna take it.

Meanwhile, Lqg has told Sqq all of his confrontation with Binghe and Sqq is highkey panicking. What if Binghe hates him now for being gay for him? Probably gay. Admittedly, likely gay. What if he’s disgusted with him?? He wavers between going to talk to Binghe about it and avoiding him at all costs. 

In the end, it’s Binghe who confronts him and they have a long talk that ends with them snogging on the floor, Binghe crying, and two emotionally constipated love confessions.

It takes some time, but the three find a way to fit together. Bingqiu are unbearable the first while and Lqg goes on many, many hunts to not hear anything he doesn’t want to hear. But, eventually, Lqg returns to being a frequent visitor and even spends the night there now and then. Binghe grows… fond… of Lqg. He supposes. At least somewhat. Lqg thinks Binghe is a little strange, but he’s Lqg’s now, so that’s alright. Sqq can be a bit strange too. Bingqiu are still unbearable, but what can you do? In the end, they’re happy in their own way, all three of them.

There should be a fic in which multiple different Binghes meet each other and they have all married Shen Yuan. Except Shen Yuan transmigrated into someone different in each and every one of their universes.

There would be the one in which he transmigrated into Shen Qingqiu, of course, but there would also be one in which he transmigrated into Yue Qingyuan and another where he transmigrated into Sha Hualing and so on. There should even be one in which he transmigrated into some random guy literally none of the other Binghes have heard of before.

The Binghes keep talking about the same person, except they're calling that person different things so none of them realise at first. And then they do and it's like "oh, we all married the same person, except that person has a different name and body".

And like obviously Shen Yuan would be slightly different depending on who he transmigrated into. Because of different circumstances and such. So occasionally a Binghe mentions something his transmigrated Shen Yuan did or said that would not and does not apply to any of the other transmigrated Shen Yuans.

Bonus if Bingge is there too, as the one Binghe there who has married many but none of them are a version of Shen Yuan.