I Just Think Shang Qinghua Should Get So Angry One Time That He Unconsciously Overrides The System And

when your son looks like his father 💁

I remember first learning that you can cry from any emotion, that emotions are chemical levels in your brain and your body is constantly trying to maintain equilibrium. so if one emotion sky rockets, that chemical becomes flagged and signals the tear duct to open as an exit to release that emotion packaged neatly within a tear. Everything made sense after learning that. That sudden stability of your emotions after crying. How crying is often accompanied by the inability to feel any other emotion in that precise moment. And it is especially beautiful knowing that it is even possible to experience so much beauty or love or happiness that your body literally can’t hold on to all of it. So what I’ve learned is that crying signifies that you are feeling as much as humanely possible and that is living to the fullest extent. So keep feeling and cry often and as much as needed

When I was a kid my favorite game was Stick War. If you don't know, Stick War is when you and your friends pick up sticks off the ground and commence to beating the fuck out of each other with them. I don't mean like a boffer LARP; we was out-and-out brutalizing one another. We introduced one another to the ground on many occasions. One time a kid almost lost an eye. We found it great sport.

Anyways the local Scout troop had its weekly meetings at a Knights of Columbus hall, the which is a Catholic organization, so every year they would do that thing where they put a whole bunch of little white crosses in the ground out front in memoriam of all the aborted babies. Well, we discovered very quickly that them little crosses serve as a very good approximation of a light rapier for purposes of Stick War. Much blasphemous fun was had.

And you must understand that when you developed a taste for this greatest of all sports, Stick War is more than just a game. Stick War is a way of life. We'd be sitting around like, "Man, I can't wait for abortion season to roll around so we can beat on each other with more finesse and artistry."

A SVSSS fic I want to write one day is Airplane and Shen Yuan being ejected from the System and sent back to the mundane world, but with the difference that Shen Yuan's 'edits' to the story have been retroactively applied to PiDW and as a result it's gone from 'top story in a hyper specific web culture niche' to 'international sensation with a Netflix adaption in the works'.

Keyly, PiDW is still told largely from the PoV of Luo Binghe- so neither he nor the audience is at all aware that it's now Isekai story. Instead it's billed as this heady romantic drama about prejudice, the passage of time, and redemption- where a big part of the appeal is trying to piece together the otherwise enigmatic Shen Qingqiu's motives.

Was he harsh on Binghe initially because of he sensed/knew about Binghe's demon heritage (as it's now possible to find hints that he may have in fact known all along)? Or because he saw Binghe's potential and wanted to do the tough-love training thing? Or was it because he was trying to chase Binghe away from Cultivation because he knew it would lead Binghe to misery one day? Did he throw Binghe into the Abyss because he was genuinely shocked and disgusted by the Demon reveal? Or because he knew Binghe would be killed if he stayed and he was trying to 'protect' him? Or was it because he genuinely wanted Binghe to fulfill his demon Emperor destiny and thought a clean break would do it? The fandom has no idea but lovvvvvves arguing about it.

This all leads to things coming full circle, as Cucumber, sounding like an absolute insane person, is left to rant online about how the obvious answer is that Shen Qingqiu was Isekai'd earlier in the story and replaced by a completely different person- a theory which is mocked to the point of memery, and leads to Cucumber being dunked on endlessly, no matter how much evidence he brings up or how many essays he writes.

Headcanon that Shen Yuan was hotter than Shen Qingqiu, actually.

Like yeah SQQ being a cultivator gave him a boost to enough attributes + being in a stallion novel where everyone is either unrealistic hot or dog's butt ugly got the Shen Qingqiu body extra points, and he wasn't bad looking to begin with. Plus not being ill is vastly more important to the new Shen Qingqiu than those extra hotness points (Without a Cure notwithstanding). But part of the reason why he's kind of like, meh, at least I'm not hideous or anything, is because Shen Yuan's original body was a knock out.

I also like him as chronically ill, and, as many people know, beauty standards and sustained suffering are not as incompatible as they should be. Shen Yuan was conventionally attractive in part because conventional beauty standards seem to want everyone slowly dying all the time. But even setting that aside, the man had flawless bone structure, an appealing figure, captivating eyes, and the kind of voice that stopped people in their tracks.

All of which was a contributing factor to his antisocial lifestyle, actually. Despite the fact that Shen Yuan does enjoy company and requires a certain baseline of social enrichment for his enclosure, his internalized homophobia and closeting did not play well with overtures from interested parties (regardless of gender). The only way to minimize the odds of him being asked out on dates was to essentially become a shut-in, especially since even Shen Yuan can only make so many excuses before he himself starts to notice that he's going to a lot of effort to avoid specifically that avenue of socialization. Far better to just remove himself from any risk of it, and then vocally lament that oh no he's just too much of a nerd to get anywhere with women!

Anyway this largely doesn't matter much outside of sheer comedy potential for any situation where SY gets his old body/life back. Like imagine a reveal scenario where the System is going to transport them back to their old lives.

Shang Qinghua: well bro I guess this is gonna be the ultimate test of love, right?

Shen Yuan: what do you mean?

Shang Qinghua: our husbands are gonna see what we looked like back before we were glorious cultivators! they're going to have to track us down in our mundane, kinda shitty pre-transmigration lives! it's gonna be at least a little embarrassing, right?

Shen Yuan: *gets his old body back*

Shang Qinghua, normal human with average looks: ...

Shen Yuan, exemplary 11/10: ?

Shang Qinghua: what. the fuck?? bro what the fuck why are you hot???

Shen Yuan: don't make it weird

Shang Qinghua: make it weird??? why were you sitting at home reading my shitty novel when you could have been out there building your own harem???

Shen Yuan: stop exaggerating

Shang Qinghua: oh my god you've always been like this. this is it, isn't it? it wasn't even brain damage from the transmigration or something--

Shen Yuan: hey

Shang Qinghua: --you've just always been completely unaware, haven't you? every time I wrote a beautiful woman who didn't know her own appeal you'd be jumping down my throat--

Shen Yuan: because that's a stupid trope--!

Shang Qinghua: --JUMPING DOWN MY THROAT EXACTLY LIKE THAT but this whole time THIS WHOLE TIME it wasn't even a glow-up issue, you've just been that, personified, yourself--

Shen Yuan: look I know I'm not ugly but I'm not I'm hardly that good-looking

Shang Qinghua: YOU ARE NEVER ALLOWED TO CRITICIZE THAT TROPE AGAIN! oh my god. how many broken hearts did you leave behind when you died?!

Shen Yuan: none, I wasn't even seeing anyone--

Shang Qinghua: yeah full offense but I am nottt taking your word for that. I bet you had a harem you didn't know about in this lifetime too. I bet you had a fan club, like an anime prince

Shen Yuan: *mumbling*

Shang Qinghua: what was that?

Shen Yuan: I said... only in high school...

Shang Qinghua: oh my god

Shen Yuan: it wasn't a big deal!

Shang Qinghua: *frantically trying to see if he can find any trace of it on the internet now*

Concept: Wei Wuxian and Hua Cheng as Luo Binghe's younger biological brothers, but it's like, a lot younger.

Like centuries on. TLJ's recovered from his mountain-flattening to the point where he has roughly the strength and capabilities of a decent human cultivator. The world has changed. The boundaries between the realms have gotten stronger, and the potency of demon blood based powers in the human realms have accordingly weakened. Lots of cultivators have ascended, and the current ranks of them are not nearly as impressive as they used to be. Luo Binghe and his husband have withdrawn into the demon realm to try and keep the peace and maintain stability, but TLJ doesn't feel such an obligation and prefers the human realms even when his power is a lot weaker there, so as the boundaries grow thicker, he just sort of sticks around on that side of the divide.

Eventually he takes on the persona of a wandering cultivator, observing the changes that various human sects and societies undergo. As true immortals become much more rare and the cultivation methods and philosophies change, TLJ starts taking on different personas every few hundred years, just to avoid becoming too conspicuous. He observes with interest as the various cultivation sects shift from meritocratic to dynastic inheritance, as the old sects either ascend too far from humanity or else fall into obscurity, while the new ones that take their place provide ample fodder for his soapy RPF stories and gossip mill. The boundaries between worlds become so thick that only beings of extreme strength can pass through, with the most prominent "demonic" forces in the human realms becoming resentful spirits and ghosts, although even so sometimes an item or creature still manages to chance upon a weak spot and cross over.

Beasts and cursed items that would once have been mere trifles for cultivators to deal with instead become major sources of conflict and nigh-indestructible foes. TLJ feels at times like he's watching insects wrestle with the consequences of someone carelessly discarding a piece of garbage in their path, fascinated by the lengths they must go to in order to deal with it, but then he too has his limits these days on how much he can even help (if he chooses to do so, which he doesn't always).

At one point he decides that he'd like to try living life more from the perspective of some of these barely-above-mortal level cultivators. Like choosing to play a game with extra handicaps on, just for the challenge of it. He takes on the identity of a new young cultivator, recently bereft of a master and looking to join one of the great sects, and takes on the name of Wei Changze. Striking up a friendship with the young master of the Jiang sect isn't difficult, and playing the role of servant and subordinate is pretty entertaining.

TLJ is not expecting to encounter one of Su Xiyan's reincarnations in the midst of all of this, but that's life for you.

The new Xiyan, Cangse Sanren, is a lot sweeter than the cold and cutting sugar daddy of days gone by. But she's still quite ruthless when she wants to be, and extremely talented, and she still falls into TLJ's orbit even when she has much more practical options at hand. How can he not fall in love all over again? Even when he thought she orchestrated his betrayal, he never fell completely out of love. He might be a jillion years old by now, but at heart he still wants his Xiyan to pamper and spoil him, and to return the favor as much as he possibly can.

TLJ's no saint. He's as greedy as any Heavenly Demon, especially when it comes to love. So he doesn't refrain from stealing his new Xiyan, Cangse, away from all rival suitors when the opportunity presents itself. When she gets pregnant, he becomes nervous about history somehow repeating itself. He sort of wishes she hadn't. But she's excited, and he never really got to experience this with her the first time. He's greedy for any and all experiences with her, in the end.

The baby is cute. TLJ likes him. This new son also takes after his mother, which is good too. He's not much like Zhuzhi Lang except for being a bit simplistic (because he's a baby) but TLJ feels a stirring in his heart strings not unlike the sentiments he once held for his poor doomed nephew, a stirring that grows in time to become genuine affection.

Intriguingly, this son of his doesn't show many signs of his heavenly demon heritage. It isn't potent enough to require a cradle seal. There are hints of it, here and there, but only to one who knows how to look for the signs of true demon blood. Which actually isn't all that surprising in the end, hybrids can turn out any number of ways. Still, TLJ feels confident that by the time he starts walking and talking, little A'Ying could survive on his own.

Humans tend to raise their children longer for that, though, and Cangse is very attached to their son. So TLJ is like, oh well, no need to cut the apron strings even if this third wheel stuff is dragging on a bit (Wei Ying is four). He's maybe even actively enjoying parenting! He's pretty sure he's improving at it as well, like he always makes sure his son has enough money to buy food before they leave him alone for a few weeks, even though the boy is big enough to hunt small game. Spoils him, really.

But of course, then tragedy strikes again. Despite being stronger than most stuff, TLJ is not nearly as powerful as he used to be, and he sometimes sucks at guesstimating the actual differential between him and some of the malicious ghosts out there. His attempt to satisfy Cange's ambitions and take on the Burial Mounds go disastrously, with Cangse once again dying on him, and TLJ ending up trapped in the resentful mire of the Burial Mounds, body nearly destroyed (again).

So he spends several years locked in a depression fugue state and also very slowly regenerating his destroyed parts, lost in memories and grief, eating a lot of dead humans (never his cuisine of choice, but he isn't rich on options) when one day some rancid little upstart throws down a corpse that isn't a corpse, and is also very familiar.

Why, it's Wei Ying! And he's basically a man now! TLJ's not sure exactly how much time has passed, but given how badly humans age these days, it's probably less than a century. Wei Ying is injured and having a rough time of it, it looks like his human cultivation has gone badly somehow, but he still has enough potency to his heavenly demon blood that he'd need to be dismembered and probably eaten before death would really stick. He's not entirely lucid, though, and the malicious ghosts in the Burial Mounds aren't helping.

TLJ figures, well, he is a father after all, and Cangse was so attached to their little dumpling. He'll help out! Just until the kid gets his legs back under him again. So as Wei Ying scrabbles in the dirt and writhes in torment against the dark energy of hostile ghosts, he also gets to hallucinate his father's half-rotted visage talking him through the basics of some demonic cultivation techniques that ought to help him crawl back out of this pit.

It's a good day when Wei Ying manages it. TLJ wishes him all the best, he truly does, and then he goes back to wallowing. For like five minutes (to him). Then somehow his clingy second son returns to the region, if not to his specific pit, and brings with him a gaggle of humans in varying states of distress and poor health. TLJ finds that the neighborhood has become noisy, but at least this noise involves some interesting news and gossip, and Wei Ying appears to be mastering some kind of hybrid ghost/demon cultivation technique that is pretty fascinating. Trust Cangse's son to be so creative! And he farms, too! Badly, but. Well. TLJ certainly can't throw stones, he's never once gotten the hang of gardening himself either. The only thing he's good at growing is parts of his own body, haha!

He's actually pretty upset when the human cultivators turn up and his son ends up getting torn apart and devoured by the backlash of his own innovations. TLJ briefly considers tearing himself out of his shallow not-grave to kill everyone involved, but that does sound like a lot of effort, and in his experience revenge just never works right anyway. So after a while he just crawls his way out more sedately, saves his energy and uses it to cross back over to the demon realm for a while.

He revisits his eldest son, and is like hmm this is how you decorate a palace? No no it's fine I guess. Where's Mobei Jun's little hamster man, has he written anything new lately? By which I mean in the past thousand or so years. Oh he has! Great! Also you had a younger brother for a while there. Yeah no he's dead now. But he did exist, I actually liked him, very creative boy. Shame about the angry mob.

To which Luo Binghe's response is basically some flavor of "I don't care" whereas Shen Qingqiu is genuinely distressed that Binghe had a brother and didn't even get to meet him.

TLJ hangs out for a while, reads through all of Airplane's latest works, recovers his strength, does some "bonding" side quests with Binghe courtesy of his son-in-law's meddling (doesn't really work), and then eventually decides to go back and see what's going on in the human realm again. He can't help it, he's just not really into demon culture that much, there are only so many years he can spend lounging around the place before he starts feeling itchy and recollecting every agonizing hour of youthful displeasure and boredom that defined his life as a prince.

Getting back to the human realm is even more difficult by the time he leaves again, though. The Heavens are being annoying about it. There are tiers of Heaven, of course, and lately the lowest tier (closest to earth) has been taking a fairly hard stance about keeping the realms apart. Probably because all those gods are still weak enough that even TLJ's failson could just smash them to pieces if so inclined, and the higher tiers have been consumed with their own celestial matters, so most of these junior gods haven't had much guidance and are convinced they are responsible for the order of the universe.

Imagine being less than a thousand years old, coming from the era where most cultivators don't even ascend anymore, and thinking you're hot shit just because you moved up a single rank in divinity. Whippernappers, all of them. TLJ would scold them but that sounds too much like hard work, and anyway they don't even know that he can listen in on their noisy little communication arrays and settle back with some popcorn to watch their dramas unfold. It's like his own personal television channel.

Though he doesn't let himself think directly about it too much, he is also on the lookout for another reincarnation of Xiyan. Things ending in tragedy twice can only make it more likely that they should go well the third time, right? Or, even if not... the tragedy might be tolerable, so long as there's a reprieve of togetherness beforehand again.

Alas, TLJ is not in luck for quite some time. In a moment of weakness he even settles for the pursuit of a spirited young commoner with a just-similar-enough kind of temperament to soothe the ache, before making him feel all the more unsatisfied in the aftermath. It's not that he imagines himself keeping faithful to a woman who has been dead (again) for ages and may or may not be reborn one day, it's more the feeling that having something near to the right thing is, in its way, even more unsatisfying than nothing.

Anyway, the young lady eventually tracks him down with news that she's pregnant, which TLJ supposes could plausibly be a result of their tryst. He gives her some money and tells her to contact him if the baby is weird, which does end up being the case (red eyes, clear demonic tendencies) so he provides some more compensation, at least until the kid is big enough to survive on his own. Then he just sort of peaces out to keep looking for Xiyan-Cangse Mark III, good luck to Third Son, it's not like this world is especially dangerous to a heavenly demon with blood that potent anyway.

Or rather, it shouldn't be, but plot twist: Third Son didn't get the regenerative abilities in the hybrid lottery. He dies on a battlefield. TLJ doesn't even hear about it, though he does eventually assume that the kid must have died because he's not hearing anything about a red-eyed conqueror or such after a few decades and that's unusual for Heavenly Demons. He's not too bothered in this instance, however, because he didn't let himself get attached this time. Smart of him. That whole Wei Ying business was just awful, he still thinks about it occasionally and he'd really rather move on.

Eventually a new ghost city crops up. TLJ doesn't think he'll find any version of Xiyan there, but he goes to check out the night life. Lo and behold, he finds himself spying a familiar face at the new gambling den, too. He's never heard of a Heavenly Demon becoming a ghost, but again, hybrids can be weird like that, and ghosts have filled a lot of the ecological niches left behind by the absence of demons. Ghost King, huh? Turns out Third Son is conquering his way across these piddly little realms. Good for him! Good for him. TLJ opts not to interfere. After all, he's not needed, the kid doesn't owe him anything, and he's mostly just in the city to collect gossip and enjoy the market. They get some interesting books.

He does cheer for this "Hua Cheng" when the kid beats a whole bunch of junior gods into the dirt. This must be the appeal of children's sports teams. The divine communication arrays start buzzing about this calamity, as the youths call it, and TLJ decides he's once again doing pretty good at this fatherhood business. Two interesting sons out of three isn't half bad!

The show gets even more entertaining when it turns out that Third Son has been carrying a candle for a particular disgraced god (Heavenly Demon romantic hyperfixation strikes again) and said god ascends once more, and this time there's all sorts of intrigue and plot twists in the heavenly court. It's so good that TLJ even goes to the effort of placing a call to the demon realms and magically livestreaming some of it to his son-in-law, who was so disappointed to miss seeing Wei Ying in action.

Unfortunately, the event he manages to livestream also features Hua Cheng dying. Whoops?

Well, it's a fittingly dramatic end to the story, even if his eldest son is pissed at him for upsetting his son-in-law with such things. His intentions were good!

As it happens, too, his divine livestreaming was a little more strongly broadcast than intended (well, he had to get it through the realms, that's not easy these days) and someone picked it up on the other side of the celestial divide as well. Specifically, one of the higher tiers of heaven. Which is how TLJ finds out that Wei Ying had actually come back from his first death, in a new body (smart kid!) and then subsequently hooked up with one of those Lan boys and ascended to godhood together.

After reuniting, Hua Cheng also proves resilient to the whole dying business, and so TLJ decides to make things up to Shen Qingqiu by organizing a family reunion.

His efforts initially garner interest from Wei Ying, coldness from Lan Wangji, glacial indifference from Hua Cheng, and some very cautious encouragement from Xie Lian (his sons all have impeccable taste in men), before the reunion finally happens and the gates of hell spring wide to bring forth the ultimate evil (Luo Binghe) and his better half, armed with some delicious banquet dishes and gifts for Shen Qingqiu's new brothers-in-law.

Silly fic idea for you:

SVSSS AU where Shen Yuan transmigrates as a half-human half-crow-demon Phantom thief character.

He doesn’t want to steal from Bing-ge, but his System makes him, and naturally Bing-ge ends up obsessed. Bing-ge keeps luring him into traps with shiny things he just can’t help but want!!! Stupid crow impulses. (That he kinda wants to see Binghe again is irrelevant, obviously).

This is SUPER silly. Anon, this is so funny, I feel like I simply have to write this now oh my god. The idea that Bing-ge is confused at first, and he then sees this super handsome half bird-half human-demon thing and is like "man I need to get me more shiny things, I want to keep this fucker". ALSO, (I've heard that) crows are quite intelligent and start leaving presents as a response to getting fed or being given shiny things, so it could also be something where Shen Yuan starts having the urge to give Bing-ge things back after receiving all these shiny things (better if he doesn't recognise most of the traps as traps, mistaking Bing-ge for being a generous demon who doesn't need all of the shiny stuff he takes) and starts giving him shit like rocks and plants and the cool parts of beasts he fights... It also can be silly no matter when in the timeline this happens - it could be during the QJ peak arc where Shen Yuan sneaks around because he wants to see the awesome protagonist up close! The first time he steals something from Bing-ge, it's something super dumb like a particularly shiny rock or a coin that the boy left lying around, and Bing-ge's quickly like "??? The fuck just happened?" so he sets up a trap with the axe he uses for chopping wood (kind of rusty but still useable and particularly shiny). After that, it's chaos of trying to keep Shen Yuan the demon hidden while also stopping him from stealing other shiny things (cultivator's swords and such). Liu Qingge finds Shen Yuan trying to steal one of the swords he was gifted after saving a village and is also like "??? Kill?" It can also be after the Endless Abyss, when Bing-ge is like a demon lord and just has shiny stuff lying around. He throws it out occasionally and one day, while doing this, he notices a certain person swooping in and grabbing one of the shiny things. More antics ensue but I don't want to crash my laptop lmao (Which one would you rather me do, anon? Before the Endless Abyss, or after? Or both??) {part one! Part two, part three, part four, part five, part six, part seven!} [This gorgeous fanart from @slurmdog that's making me go insane here] [More awe inducing fanart from @moonlightobsessions that has made me pass out here]

Magical bullshit yada yada Shen Jiu gets a one way direct psychic line to Yue Qingyuan’s brain. He hears everything YQ thinks, all hours of the day, and can see into his dreams (like a one way Sharing is Caring). Except most of the time, Yue Qingyuan’s thoughts are silent. Maybe a passing ‘I’ll schedule that tomorrow’ but that’s it for hours.

And then Shen Jiu sees the first dream. It took a while. Yue Qi prefers meditation over sleep. It’s understandable when what he dreams of is an endless maze of caverns, body falling apart, the ghost of the boy Shen Jiu used to be haunting the cave as a flaming specter. It’s the only dream Yue Qi ever has.

Then the first peak lord meeting comes. Yue Qi’s mind sparks when Shen Jiu walks in.

Xiao Jiu!

Xiao Jiu looks so elegant today.

I hope he’s eating.

I love you.

I’m sorry.

I miss you.

Xiao Jiu is so smart!

I love you.

I would give Xiao Jiu anything. Everything he wants.

I love you.

I’m sorry.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

You shouldn’t forgive me.

I love you.

SVSSS "no Abyss" fluff AU where Shen Qingqiu just keeps accidentally proposing to a full grown disciple Luo Binghe in ways that don't register to him, but do register to Binghe, but Binghe also knows that his Shizun is clueless and doesn't actually mean it, so he's trapped in a hell of constantly getting what he desires most and fighting the urge to take advantage of the situation in order to actually claim it.

For instance, it turns out that PIDW has a knock-off version of Valentine's Day thanks to one really ill-planned VIP chapter. Shen Qingqiu found that one so egregious even he mostly scrubbed it from his mental records, but the long and short of it is that in the PIDW chocolate exists, but it's a symbolic treat that is only meant to be given to someone you intend to marry.

Of course, Shen Qingqiu discovers chocolate in PIDW and IMMEDIATELY hands it over to Luo Binghe, because he wants to see how Binghe's magnificent cooking skills can utilize this ingredient. Also he wants bon bons and this seems like the only way he's gonna get any in this lifetime.

Naturally, Binghe does make delicious bon bons, all the while fighting down the urge to be like "you proposed so we're getting married now, no take backs!"

Shizun eats the chocolates and Binghe counts slowly backwards from ten and reminds himself that getting what he wants by way of trickery would ultimately deny him what he wants most, which is for Shen Qingqiu to choose him of his own volition.

And of course, this shit just keeps happening. Somehow Shen Qingqiu keeps "forgetting" (read: subconsciously repressing) the little details about various proposal customs in PIDW (of which there are A LOT thanks to all the wife acquisitions) and proposing to Binghe almost constantly. This part of the world has a special ritual proposal wine? Better give some to Binghe! This demonic cult requires one to present a specific monster kill to their intended? Shen Qingqiu just so happened to kill one such monster himself and now he's given it over to Binghe to claim the parts (Binghe's cultivation would make better use of them!) They're visiting a neighboring sect where couples traditionally tie their wrists together with a particular type of rope as a symbol of engagement? Somehow, someway, Shen Qingqiu is going to find a good reason to tie himself to Binghe with the betrothal rope.

Not only is this dance giving Luo Binghe intense mixed feelings, and causing him to lie awake at night trying to figure out if Shen Qingqiu somehow does actually know what he's doing, and wants Binghe to bamboozle him into a marriage (or is that just wishful thinking??), it also causes him ever-more stress whenever SQQ goes on a mission with anyone else.

Especially Liu Qingge.

What if he does the clueless not-proposing to Liu Qingge? What if Liu Qingge proves to be less strong-willed than Luo Binghe (absolutely possible) and "accepts"? What if he's stupid enough to not figure out that Shen Qingqiu is a clueless idiot, and thinks it's genuine?

Shizun might marry him just to avoid having an awkward conversation!

Anyway things come to a head when finally, for once, Luo Binghe is the one who does the accidental proposal. And this time Shen Qingqiu does notice, and he gets all flustered and scolds Binghe to "be more careful" and "not waste such gestures on this old master, or anyone Binghe doesn't want taking advantage!" and Luo Binghe, who has aged one thousand decades in the past few years, still nobly resists the urge to lay out all the times Shizun has made this exact same "mistake" towards him and instead just confesses. Shoots his shot. Now or never!

He almost immediately regrets it because he had a whole plan for how to slowly ease Shizun into the idea over the course of several years, and he's prepared to be rejected now that he's fucked that up. Because he knows his master is delicate about stuff like this. Why else would he be so atypically obtuse?

But, well. Shen Qingqiu always said that the most realistic thing about the harem was that no one in their right mind would turn down a marriage proposal from Luo Binghe.

So he just, uh, says yes?

Binghe's like, you mean this whole time all I had to do was be the one to ask?!

But also he's really too happy to give a shit about the particulars either. They will have a beautiful wedding! No take backs. If SQQ gets cold feet then Luo Binghe has a list and compiled evidence of fifty million marriage proposals from him, so now he definitely has to follow through!