Starfleet-xenobotanist - Plain And Simple Xeno

So I had a hysterectomy today (hooray!) and I brought along my stuffed orca, Shamu, as a comfort object. And everyone i interacted with during my pre-op was like "Oh! Who's this?" so I was telling them all about him, how he's been with me since I was 9 and gone on every single vacation and road trip, and they were telling me about their own stuffed buddies (one lady said she still has hers after 40 years!) and all of this while I was signing consent forms and providing a list of the things I'd brought with me, you know, small talk.

So then a nurse comes over and goes "Okay, I've got some stickers I'll put on your things so we know they're yours" and I'm like "OK cool" so she puts a sticker on my coat and stickers on my bags of clothes and then she turns to Shamu and I'm like "oh I guess he gets a sticker too"

But no. She pulls out a hospital bracelet that's an exact copy of mine and slaps it on his tail, like so:

And i was delighted by this, so I took a picture to send to my friends, who were equally delighted, and were cracking me up with their reactions (like so:)

Anyway, they take me back and put me under, and when I awake groggily a few hours later it takes me a minute to get my bearings, so I don't notice Shamu at first. But then I realize he's tucked up next to me in the gurney, so I grab him, and my hand touches gauze.

And I'm like "huh?" so I look at him and I realize

They gave my fucking orca a hysterectomy

LMAOOOOO IM LISTING TO THE GARAK BOOK RIGHT NOW AND IT'S JUST HIM TRAMA DUMPING TO BASHIR FOR 20 HOURS STRAIGHT... I can't stop picturing Bashir listening to all of Garaks messages like:

This is so stupid

A memory of hope

I just watched Civil Defense, in which Garak has some trousers of Bashir's for mending.

Now I'm watching Improbable Cause, 13 episodes later, in which Garak has some trousers of Bashir’s for mending.

Conclusion: Bashir either has a remarkable need for trousers or he's been fabricating excuses to go to Garak's shop.

Or Garak is incredibly slow at mending trousers.

words to live by

Rewatching DS9 and I forgot how annoying Bashir was at first. Man both masked and masc-ed too close to the sun. I would die for him.

garak if he vlogged during the wire

I know in my heart of hearts that Amsha Bashir is the Star Trek equivalent of one of those social media autism moms who was posting shit like "the autism won today :(" through Julian's entire childhood