I Don't Like What I'm Becoming And A Part Of What I'm Becoming Antagonises The Self-hatred That I Use

i don't like what i'm becoming and a part of what i'm becoming antagonises the self-hatred that i use to regress

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i completely understand likeee sometimes i see myself and the person that im growing to be and i can’t help but feel a striking sense of wrongness that i am too angry too resentful but i then see myself in a condescending and patronising light in the manner that i am ‘over’ this self hatred and now a paragon of virtue and it is a cycle and it is a cycle and i wish i could move on from hating myself -> thinking im better and above who i ‘used to be’ and then -> hating myself again this probably makes no sense and is completely different to how you feel but i’m here anyway!!! always here to listen lots of love tea if i could i’d make you a pot of tea and some chocolates and a big fat hug and some paracetamol just in case your head hurts

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