I Love The Camp Gossip But Do Wish Companions Would Interact With Each Other More... So I'm Gonna Draw

My friend sometimes brings her six-year-old to our DnD sessions and my husband (the DM) lets her roll for all enemy attacks and sometimes he will show her a few figures and let her secretly pick what creature we meet next. Who needs encounter tables when you have a first-grader around

The answer to your question: almonds.

tfw all of your girlfriends are very devoted to a deity or a higher figure meanwhile you're just kinda... doing your own thing!! oh you guys are praising/giving thanks?? I WANNA DO THAT TOO!! (idk if lae'zel would say this specifically but for the sake of the joke... please let it slide DFSIUHDSIU) (also this is pre-mountain pass act 1 lol)

Rachel

Every institution I email has a 'Rachel'

Rachel is the person I need to speak to

Rachel has been cc'd in to get eyes on this

Rachel can advise more accurately on this

Rachel heads our efforts on this

Rachel is OOO until Monday

It is Monday?

Rachel is OOO until Thursday

Rachel is OOO until August

Rachel is OOO until 2061, when astronomers anticipate she will return to our solar system

Rachel left the company months ago

Rachel? Why, she's been dead for years!

We have looped in Daniel to help, in Rachel's absence

Haha, you fool! Daniel is merely an aspect of Rachel!

Rachel is OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

She is OOO, she is OOOOOOOOOOO, WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, WOOOOOO!

Rachel is the friends we made along the way

Rachel is an energy field: she surrounds us, penetrates us, binds the galaxy together

Mathematicians believe there may be Rachel

Computer scientists think we might have Rachel soon

Historians doubt she ever existed.

Safe <3

Shout-out to people studying with a mental illness.

You’re doing this with half your brain tied behind your back and that’s pretty badass

fucker! we wanted to trek those

controversial writing tip

open a document and start writing

New favorite B Dylan Hollis quotes:

"Tomato spice: if pumpkin spice got hit by a bus."

"If this red flag was any bigger, it would be a blanket."

"Looks like barbecue sauce, smells of death."

"It tastes like someone killed Italy."

"How do you know when a laxative is done baking?"

"Good morning, it's time for mayonnaise."

"Mid-century America has produced many suspect salads, many of which continue to leak out of the angsty states of Wisconsin and Minnesota."

*incoherent screaming upon salt package spilling onto the floor*

"This tastes like a diagnosis."

Lessons I have learned:

People in the 60s were very creative with gelatin, for better and for worse.

The absence of sugar in WW2 encouraged the use of raisins in desserts, which raises a number of questions as for why they continued to be used after.

Margarine is the work of the devil and should be treated as such.

Magneto: Are you interested in joining my team of mutants fighting for the end of mutant oppression? :)

A mutant: sure what’s it called?

Magneto: the brotherhood of evil mutants

Mutant: w

Mutant: why’s it called that