Starvedllama - Starvedllama

i love to move on. i love to transition. i love to shed skin and act like it never happened. yes, i love to act brand new

i fear i will never top this pun

after a Game Over

Can't be sincerely dark without being called edgy, can't be sincerely emotional without being called melodramatic, can't be sincerely silly without being called stupid. They're gonna hate every emotion you put in your art no matter what so make it anyway and be as sincere as you can be

no but jayvik is so fucking funny to me like

one of them is from the Evil City and he does drugs one time and almost dies. he’s got severe cheekbones and a slavic accent but he’s one of the most soft spoken characters in the whole show. he died three times and tried to kill himself once. his best friend wants to live inside his skin in a totally normal and platonic way. he became jesus because a rocket from the Evil City blew him up and then the power of homosexual love saved his eternal soul.

the other is a Hot Man™ who pulls the sexiest woman ever animated by being naive and intelligent. he is still a crippling bisexual. he tried to kill himself but he got negged and became Less Depressed instantly. when he remembers his best friends face, he specifically remembers the burning gold of his eyes. despite being the stereotypical depiction of the “ideal man” he is certifiably possessive, obsessive, selfish, and insane. this only makes him more attractive somehow. he performed necromancy with world-altering technology and then got broken up with. he fell down a ravine and became the Sexiest Man I Have Ever Seen™. he saved his best friend from becoming a genocidal eldritch being with the power of gay love.

The fact I can imagine this scene in my head says a lot. About the writer or about me I do not know

placing a wire cage on wilson’s desk, house tapped against wilson’s desk with his cane. “need you to do surgery on this patient.”

wilson barely looked up from his paperwork. “i don’t do surgery on rodents.”

“fibroadenoma. need an oncologist to remove the mass,” house said.

that got wilson to glance up. “you could easily surgically remove that yourself. you don’t need my help,” wilson replied as he squinted at the rat in the cage. “wait a minute, is that your rat?”

house rolled his eyes. “the fact you couldn’t say for certainty if that’s someone else’s rat or steve mcqueen, and you live with him, says a lot.”

throwing his hands up into the air, wilson sighed. “a rat is a rat. they all look the same.”

house faux-gasped. “where did you get your degree from? i’m personally revoking your license and sending you back to vet school.”

“who’s rat is it?”

house smirked lazily. “let’s say the owners name is egg.”

“you’re the worst. it is your rat, isn’t it?”

“steve is our rat.”

wilson dropped his head down against the table. “what did you do to give “our” rat a fibroadenoma?”

tsking, house dropped down onto the couch that was tucked into the corner of wilson’s office. “nothing you can prove. do the surgery on your lunch break.”

the sigh that came out of wilson’s mouth was long suffering. house knew that meant wilson was agreeing to whatever hair-brained scheme house had come up with. “if he continues to gnaw loudly on wooden blocks during the night and keeps waking me up, i’m slipping him too much propofol during the procedure.”

house snagged his cane and got up from the couch. “no you won’t. you secretly love him.” house left the room and wilson watched him go.

reaching into the cage, wilson snagged steve mcqueen and placed him on the desk so he could wander across the surface. “knew it was you all along, steve. already put a surgical plan together for you when i saw the mass last week,” wilson said. he stroked a finger over steve’s head and settled back into his seat to finish up his paperwork so he’d have the time to do surgery during lunch.

Everyone at Princeton-Plainsboro knows that.

you knock on my door and hear loud barking and scrambling noises and me yelling "no!! down boy!! down!!!" and then when i open the door there is a single crab on the floor

“I've been lying to you in increasing amounts ever since I told you you looked good unshaved, a year ago”

WRONG — you love his stubble. you love that he looks like a mutt with behavioural issues you adopted from the pound. you want to feel his stubble on your skin but youre too much of a coward to ask, aren’t you wilson?

I think House should:

accept that he'll never be able to date Wilson, as the man is tragically heterosexual

start dating a man

the man's name is like,,, Will Jameson (House gets photo ID proof of this bc he doesn't believe it's not a weird prank at first)

House starts genuinely falling for this guy, and shyly (as shy as he gets, anyway) talks to Wilson about it, who also thinks it's a weird prank at first

House does get tongue tied occasionally and says Wilson's name in bed and says Will Jameson's name at work, and Wilson is VERY jealous about this (in his special repressed way)

anyway then some more things happen and House and Wilson stop being stupid and they fuck about it the end