166 posts
Whoever came up with this, know that you almost killed me while trying to drink my coffee.
In wwx defense (I don't do that a lot but imma play devil's advocate for a sec) jfm didn't love him for who he was, he loved him for who his parents were, if he were some random kid jfm would have left him on the street to freeze, that's gotta mess with your head. Jyl and jc loved him for who he was, and when he thought he lost that he went searching for someone who would. He's just a guy who wants unconditional love, would he get that from jc if they sat down and talked about their feelings for once? Yeah, but they're both fucked up from their childhood, so wwx replaced that with lwj. Not saying it's a good nice thing and he's done terrible stuff in his life, but I can understand wanting someone to just love you for you, not who they think you should be. Anyways thanks for the jc defense and support you always give, he gets way too much hate in this fandom I'll never understand it
omg I am definitely not saying WWX had it good with the Jiangs, they fucked up all three kids! and the appeal of a relationship like his with LWJ is very clear for his particular personality and traumas-- I just think it's really interesting that so much is left unresolved in favor of that relationship in a way that doesn't feel sustainable
like there are some/many romances where the resolution of the central relationship is the symbolic resolution of both partners' major traumas/issues/questions/whatever, and thus other threads can be left unresolved by the narrative in explicit terms because they've been symbolically resolved by the resolution of the protagonists' emotional journey. but that doesn't feel like the case in MDZS at all!
30, 31, 36 for the writing ask game pls!
(also adore your ask box line shsjjdjdjf)
:D thank you for the asks! (And hehehe thank you, when I did my avatar rebrand I thought it was time to update that too)
30. Describe a fic that almost happened, but then it didn't.
Ohhh man, haha, this fic has actually been on my mind a lot today, I've explained it to three separate people lmao.
So okay, I have this old WIP from last year. It was going to be the next fic I wrote after my first Jaytim fic, I was going to write it on PURPOSE with a PLOT and PINING and EVERYTHING. The WORKS. It was my first attempt at writing Jason's voice too - he's the POV character - and instead I wrote Hurt/Comfort lmao. This fic was heavily inspired by listening to "This Losing" by the Airborne Toxic Event on repeat during February of 2023, and was going to feature a friends with benefits situationship that quickly spirals into Real Feelings that Jason is having trouble grappling with because he's afraid of scaring Tim with how intensely jealous/possessive he gets. With how much he loves him :')
Eventually I'll write it... someday...
31. What was the most difficult fic for you to write (but in the end you made it)?
Oh, Hurt/Comfort for sure. That fic was SO nerve-wracking because uhhhhh I'd never written BDSM before! Not really! Not a full on, planned out scene! And on top of that, Hurt/Comfort is experimental with it's choose-your-own-adventure style two endings, so once I was done with writing Hurt I had Comfort to write as well, lmao. I'm pleased with it, but in retrospect, imo it's pretty vanilla for what it is (this may be relative lol), and I feel like I've improved as a writer since posting it :)
(I really enjoy writing panic attacks and bad mental spaces tho, and I still really like the small moment in the bathtub when Tim is sucked into his short flashback uwu sorry Tim, but I had to do it to em)
36. How do you come up with fic titles? What's the one you're most proud of?
In the grand tradition of fic authors everywhere, most of my fic titles are song lyrics or other quotes o7 Usually they're taken from the song I'm listening to the most while writing the fic, and usually I use the lyric I feel best captures either the vibe or a specific beat in the story.
That being said, Sit, Stay, Speak is probably my favorite original title, because it's out of context spoilers for the story as well as a funny dog pun :D Jason is going to sit in Tim's apartment, stay put, and speak to Tim without realizing it; and Tim is going to speak to Jason without actually speaking. His apartment, his life does the talking for him - and Jason hears it. I am genuinely quite proud of Sit, Stay, Speak, every aspect of it was agonized over, but it was worth the effort.
putting in my order
I'll want this on my desk by *checks clock* april 31th
Skxnfjsk I'll add it to the WIP pile 😂 I'm working on a secret project rn, and ww fic continues to sit on the backburner 😔 but you got it captain o7 I do intensely crave this for Tim... Maybe au where Jason is the babysitter who takes the job but doesn't expect the young professional dilf who has no idea what he's doing... Who unexpectedly helps heal the damaged relationship between Tim and the rest of his estranged family... Hmm... Possibilities...
Jason calls Tim by nicknames (babybird, doll, some variation of Tim's name) because when he says Tim's name, it comes out sounding so sweet and loving that anyone would know how smitten Jason actually is
Jaytim for @ferreho-rocher for her bday today! <3
Happy bday babe!
Tim: *walks into Jason’s room* I can’t sleep
Jason: not my problem, replacement
Tim: *lays down on top of Jason*
Jason: *pulls him close and hugs him tightly* go away
Tim: *kisses his chest* I’m leaving
Jason: okay good
Both of them in less than a minute: *asleep*
each time you talk about the werewolf fic in the tags of a post just know i'm eating up every new piece of lore
oh gosh i meant to answer this so long ago OTL I'm so glad you eat it up, ME TOO when I actually have the brain for it TuT i've been in a mini-slump for werewolf fic, but yesterday i wrote a new scene that I'd really like to fit into it and it's making me go OwO over that fic again lol
Jason finds him.
It’s not a full moon, so he’s not really sure what to expect. Tim hasn’t done anything to piss him off lately, or he can’t think of anything he’s done that could have pissed off Jason lately, so he doesn’t think Jason came with a bone to pick. Which is good, because Tim can’t— Tim doesn’t want to fight right now. He could, if he had to. But he doesn’t want to because the thought of dancing their usual dance to its usual conclusion makes him even more nauseous than he already is.
And even if they don’t reach that finale, even if Jason wouldn’t push for it... with the state he’s in, him plus Jason plus fighting would send him skidding down a much deeper spiral. And that would really fucking suck right now.
He can’t be that weak in front of him.
Sweat clings damp and cold to his upper lip, clammy and horrible. His fingers are buzzing, itchy and hot and slowly losing all delicate feeling; he tries to straighten them out but they tremble and shake no matter how he concentrates on them to stop it stop it stop stopstop— and his heart rate is already fast enough, it doesn’t need the help. So he closes them into fists and shoves them around himself, squeezing his eyes shut.
He knows Jason caught sight of him because he saw the flash of a red helmet pausing on the rooftop across the street, and Tim has the fleeting hope that by the time Jason gets here, he’ll be able to stand without the brick wall supporting him.
He nearly convinces himself that his breathing is under control when he flinches, eyes blinking open instinctively, as a pair of gloved fingers snap in front of his face.
“Hey,” Jason’s rough voice bites. “You finally with me, dumbass?”
Okay okay listen Tim would never understand Jason’s need to provide but he recognizes the devotion of it all and when he finally gets it… he’s never letting go. A different kind of devotion. That’s something they can both understand
yessss. YES. they initially have completely different views on it! Tim hates the part of himself that Jason craves to feed - he sees it as parasitic, a reason for shame, and the possibility that he could go too far one day and kill what he loves. For Tim, it's something to hate; for Jason, it's something to love.
But Tim understands devotion. He understands wanting to be claimed, wanting to belong wholly and utterly to someone, and he starts to see Jason's obsession with it as akin to that feeling. He wants it too, he feels it too OwO
Because what makes me insane about it is just...their problems are the same. Jason hates the wolf; Tim loves the wolf, because the wolf is Jason. Tim hates his thirst; Jason loves his thirst, because the thirst is Tim. It's so... if we have to hurt to live, then let me bear it with you. i'm not normal about it
Sorry your fic just made me so feral I have to let it out ahhhhh the thought of all of that combined with Jason’s transformation… being reduced to instinct so completely and still feeling the same way about being fed on? Perhaps even more intensely? Yum
Dude. DUDE. NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR THAT this the feral zone, ok, I am right there with you skfjfjdkjs
Because YES. Y E S. I don't know how else to say it but you g e t me, ok, like that's!!! That's it!!! That's the fic!!!! It's Jason feeling this way about Tim, and the feeling is SO bone deep that even when he isn't in control of himself, he WANTS it. He craves it in an animal way. It's deep in his hindbrain to want it. He wants to be needed so fully, to be the source of sustenance and support, to provide. And for someone to want it too. To live because of him. To want him with them, always OwO
I'm insane about this concept, anon, you are in good company skdmffjsk
Ohhhhh and the possessiveness of it all. Only feed on my blood. No one else’s. I’m the most delicious you’ll ever have by the sheer fact that it’s me
yes. YES. E X A C T L Y
Jaytim to me is always about a kind of dark edge of possessive mutual obsession. Like it doesn't have to be the focus, but there's this underlying quality to both of them as people that feeds well into that feeling, that trope.
The mutual stalking, the intensity they both have, the history of violence tangled up in messy, complicated feelings about Batman and being Robin...like obvi fandom exaggerates some of these things, but it's so fun to linger in it.
Just. Wanting, desperately, darkly, for him to turn his absolute focus, his total attention on me and only me... don't bother looking elsewhere, babybird, once you get a taste of me you'll never want anything or anyone else ever again OvO
There’s something sooooo fhgsjdhcb about Jason’s blood sustaining Tim. The most intimate (he’s literally in his veins) instinctive (he’s providing, sharing, giving himself) trusting (trust to give, trust to take) way to take care of Tim. Hot!
Skdkfjsks YOU GET IT, YOU GET ME OTL
godddd that's exactly it. I'm clasping you by the shoulders anon, YOU GET IT. It's about providing, it's about being so deep in you that I am literally what makes your heart beat. It's about absolute trust and devotion - feed on me and only me, I can take it (I have supernatural regeneration powers baby, this is a win-win)
And low-key? The act of providing for you is what saves me. When I am reduced to nothing but my pain and animal rage, your teeth in my neck reminds me that not all pain is bad. My blood in your veins tethers me to who I am. I am more than this
(this is the theme that sustained me through writing the rest of this fic:
my claws tear your skin, but it’s my blood that splashes on the ground. i cut you but it’s me who bleeds
It's the concept of two as one; let me crawl inside of you and make a home in your bones OwO)
It makes Jason bark bark woof woof awooga crazy and it also makes ME bark bark woof woof awooga crazy amdfnsmsnsksj
22 from the prompt list? if you want to, of course.
Thanks for the prompt, anon! <3
22. “They won’t take you away from me ever again.”
Jaytim; established relationship; warning for brief description of eye trauma (not serious)
--
The first thing Jason does is check his pulse.
When he feels fluttering life under his fingertips and marks the shallow rise and fall of his chest, some of the anger collapses into jittery relief.
Some.
Tim's face is bloody and bruised, his cheek swelling purple under his mask. There are electrical burns on his uniform— they must have gotten creative when they couldn't get him fully out of the costume. He's trussed up, his bare hands bound and hanging from a meat hook in the center of the dank, round cell. Seeing it, Jason would like to return to the floor above them and cash in every cent of good will he's earned with the bats.
But the toes of Tim's boots barely brush the floor, and instead of giving in to murderous impulse, the second thing Jason does is hoist an arm around his waist to take the weight off of his shoulders.
When he does, Tim gasps, a wounded sound that nearly sends Jason right over the edge.
"You know," Jason says through gritted teeth as he saws through the ropes, his jovial tone sounding strained even to himself. "This is a pretty needlessly convoluted way to get out of doing dishes. Do we need to rethink the chore wheel?"
The last of the straps around Tim's wrists give way with a snap. Tim's strangled cry is loud in his ear, and Jason grunts as he bears Tim down to the floor.
"Because you can just ask if you want to rethink the chore wheel."
He runs through the checklist— spine: intact; head injury: negative. Unless you count the black eye and the split lip and—
Baby blues peer out at him from narrow slits. His pupils are mismatched; possible concussion but a drug is also likely, and the white of one eye is nearly consumed by bloody red. They're the prettiest thing Jason's seen all night.
"...H'd?"
"Yeah," he says roughly. "I've got you, babybird. I'm here."
"Tal'ns. Mayor's off'ce. Midnight."
God. Even beaten half to death and drugged out of his mind, Tim still has the wherewithal to deliver cryptic warnings. Jason might swoon. And they say romance is dead.
"I hear ya. Don't worry— it's taken care of."
It was the last transmission they received from Red Robin, before he cut out. There had been arguing in his comm for all of five seconds before the roar of Jason's bike drowned it out.
"Mm. 'kay." Tim blinks, and flops a hand to Jason's wrist. Aside from some scratches and chipped nails, his fingers are miraculously intact. He clasps their hands together.
"C'n we go home?"
Jason's chest clenches.
“Yeah. Yeah we can."
He pulls Tim to his feet, then into his arms when he can't stand. He walks them out the way he came.
Ten steps down the corridor, Tim jerks in his hold.
"Talons— the mayor—"
Jason shushes him.
"Hey, hey. You already told me. We've got it."
"But—"
"It's being dealt with. We'll get them. And they won’t take you away from me. Ever again.”
The last part slips out without Jason's permission, tight from his throat. Tim only sighs and turns his face into Jason's neck. Jason takes them home.
It's an empty promise. Not because he won't try to keep it, but because there's no way to guarantee it and they both know it. The Court has its scrawny little claws in every crack and crevice of Gotham, and there's no telling who's behind every mask.
The streets would run red and he'd lose Tim anyway.
You know what would be funny?
Baby Stalker Tim being seen as a omen.
There are goons that believe that he is a spirit haunting batman. That he is a child that the bat had lost before he became the dark knight.
He isn't, but people will still turn around whenever they see him lurking
“No, get off, I’m still angry at you”
“But it was just a joke~”
“Not to me”
Weird how “masturbating and falling asleep in the late afternoon” isn’t regarded as a cherished summertime tradition
rolic:
For Nemesi, who was deliciously specific in her request. I hope this met your expectations bbe!
I only drew some out of those reqs from last time, I will probably post them soon, however I am determined to do all of them, and eventually draw them when I have time, so please bear with me with patience!
And sorry for the absence, finals were coming up, but after my last exam on Thursday, you’ll probably see me on here more often.
Day7, NAUGHTY OR NICE!
PART 2 TO THIS
I had an internal struggle on whether or not I should go naughty or nice myself
DAY 6, SNUGGLING… Sorry I’ve missed a couple aahgh! I wanted to make this a short comic thingy but no time…
“i no longer need you to fuck me as hard as i hate myself. make love to me like you know i am better than the worst thing i ever did. go slow. i’m new to this but i have seen nearly every city from a rooftop without jumping. i have realized that the moon did not have to be full for us to love it. we are not tragedies stranded here beneath it.”
— we were emergencies/buddy wakefield (via jaredschesthair)
straight guy two beers in
the deweys have a chokehold on me I cant stop thinkinh about them, so have this silly comic I spent 6 hours on (way too much time)
still kind of insane to me that people talk shit about jiang cheng without fully understanding what he has been through so lets just understand what his mental state is like BEFORE canon begins:
born via a dysfunctional marriage to be the sect heir
father doesnt care for him, mother expects too much from him/everything he does is not enough
has his three dogs just kicked out randomly with no notice because of some kid he's never heard of by the father who never gave him love and/or attention
said father then favours this kid more than him, to the point that the entire world basically thinks that this kid is biologically your father's son as well, which causes even more family dysfunction
despite this still learns to love this kid as his unofficial brother
works his absolute hardest but is always second-best because his new shixiong is naturally talented
nobody appreciates the hard work he puts in at being second place despite the fact wwx literally doesnt work hard for it
masks his emotions with anger as a coping mechanism to minimise the amount of hurt he feels
ok great so now lets actually take all of the above and apply this mental wellbeing to canon events FROM HIS PERSPECTIVE (keep in mind this is literally what jc is seeing/experiencing because he DOESNT KNOW what the reader knows):
brother is off being the protagonist and getting in trouble and gets their sisters marriage ruined
comes home from a year away and then almost immediately has to go and be a hostage where brother continues his protagonist behaviour
gets trapped and nearly dies in a cave with a 400-year-old monster, is in charge of finding a way out and making sure everyone else escapes
brother and a guy who maybe hates him get stuck behind in the cave so now jiang cheng has to boost it home ON FOOT, without food, to get manpower to rescue them, which takes a minimum of a few days likely without any food or sleep
no appreciation or thanks for doing that since brother was more heroic and killed the 400-year-old monster
gets scolded by his father for being annoyed by this
parents immediately get into another fight about father loving wwx more than jc
because of the above shenanigans their sect is targeted next
tries to defend brother against being whipped to death and/or having his hand cut off by mother
witnesses his entire sect being burned and murdered
loses both his parents
decides to sacrifice himself to save his brother's life, instead of dying he is tortured and has his golden core melted
on top of his inferiority issues, the ONE THING he was expected to do was be the sect leader for the yunmeng jiang. the sect that no longer exists. he is now a sect leader with no sect and no golden core. no shit he wants to mcfuckin die
miraculously gets a new golden core but loses his brother
immediately plunged into a war and he's only like 17
spends 3 months trying to find his brother only for his brother to show up doing the Forbidden Magic and necromancy which is Super Disrespectful in their culture like holy shit what are you doing
brother refuses to use his sword in favour of the Forbidden Magics and kind of keeps undermining jc's orders as sect leader which makes jc look weak in front of all the other sect leaders when he's actively trying to rebuild their sect and be respected as a leader
fights a war for [handwaves] an amount of time, certainly a few years minimum, while watching his brother descend further into Unhealthy Behaviour but brother refuses to do anything or talk about it
ends up lowkey being a war hero
the other three great sects (of which there are now only four) swear brotherhood, leaving out ONLY ymj/jiang cheng, which, what the Fuck dude
is now a teenager who has lost his parents who now has to rebuild his sect from scratch with fuck all money, supplies, and support
brother, who promised to always be at his side helping, is not helping, and in fact is actively just getting drunk and being a nuisance and STILL REFUSING TO SAY WHY
entire cultivation world starts to turn on his brother who is now looking like a loose cannon bc he has Forbidden Magics that are Terrifyingly Powerful and also it has been proven that he does not give a fuck about jc's opinion since he's constantly doing whatever the fuck he wants
literally out of nowhere said brother decides to piss off everyone, start fights, and then KILL JIN GUARDS at a camp and MAKE OFF with like fifty people who are part of the family that he just fought a war against and were responsible for slaughtering his family/sect
go to the terrifying haunted mountain where wwx and the wen remnants are and sees that he's essentially starting a new family with a kid and crops, doesn't seem to care that jiang cheng is still trying to keep the ymj afloat and look like they have any strength
brother is still doing Forbidden Magic and refuses to explain why, and now says he'll secede from the ymj so his bad reputation doesn't reflect on jc like he HASNT BEEN DOING THAT THE WHOLE TIME
so now shixiong wants to just abandon jc completely after jc has lost his parents, had to rebuild everything from scratch, while ignoring the promise he's made their whole life? ok fuck you
jc also can't defend him in public because that would turn the ymj into a target and please keep in mind he is a teenager who was expected to do this ONE THING by his parents and he has poured his heart and soul and blood and tears into rebuilding the ymj and they are So Vulnerable Right Now
uhhh what the fuck suddenly wwx kills their sister's husband ?? bro what the FUCK?
everyone rallies to go and attack wwx for this and again jc literally cant do anything about it and refusing to go will just make everyone assume he's on wwx's side and their sect can't afford to be attacked rn
bro what the fuck now THEIR SISTER IS DEAD?????
oh even better now said brother is DEAD
jiang cheng literally has NO ONE LEFT. no friends. no family. no parents, no siblings, everyone he knew growing up is dead. its literally just him and his infant nephew, who by the way, is living with the sect who are the most powerful and also most likely to be super fucking shady so jc has to tread very carefully
so jc spends over a decade raising his nephew ALONE while trying to make ymj powerful and also hunting/killing demonic cultivators that now p much only exist bc his brother invented/popularised the technique
oh yeah and also this whole time the guy who maybe hated his brother is now like EVEN colder and more antagonistic towards jc like it was HIS FAULT that wwx is dead? get fucked lan wangji you didnt even like the guy (or if this is cql/untamed canon: you literally did nothing either so where do you get off on acting like you're better than jc)
over a decade passes and suddenly his dead brother is alive again and causing more problems and acting like the things he did were not major contributors towards jc's entire family and sect dying
More Political Drama Happens and jc has to manage it
suddenly its revealed that the guy he's been co-raising his nephew with is the major villain who caused the entire world to turn on wwx in the first place oh and also it turns out that the fucking miraculous core jc has IS HIS BROTHER'S, WHO NEVER SAID ANYTHING, AND THIS IS THE REASON HE STARTED THE FORBIDDEN MAGICS AND STOPPED HELPING AROUND THE SECT, but he didnt even BOTHER to tell jiang cheng about it
by the way did i mention this was done via an entirely unconsented experimental surgery
and now the brother of the doctor who did the unconsented experimental surgery is ?? mad at jiang cheng about it ???? like he was supposed to KNOW ABOUT THIS when wwx was KEEPING IT FROM HIM ON PURPOSE???
and now theyre all nearly dying in this dumbass temple - and the ONE family member jc still has is literally being threatened with a garotte
oh cool now jc's brother is saying forget the past let's just leave it all behind !!! as though THAT ISNT JC'S ENTIRE LIFE AND TRAUMA and the ONE THING he EVER wanted was for him, wwx, and jyl to be alive and happy, and now wwx is saying just forget it! like FUCK YOU???? does jc truly mean NOTHING???????
oh and now his brother is off gallivanting with the guy who hated him - who it turns out doesn't hate him - and now they're getting married
and jiang cheng is meant to just. pretend all of this never happened and live his life normally. while wwx is out there. being happy and married.
like... if you can read all of this and still treat jc like he's the bad guy, i'm sorry, but you have literally zero empathy. dude had it probably more rough than any of the other main ensemble cast, and i am including jgy in that, because jgy Made His Choices. jc literally just had to let things happen around him helplessly