Latest Posts by strawberrysynonym - Page 9

09/03/24 ☆☆☆

well damn its been a while.

what im listening to rn!:

the last time i updated was on the 16th last month!? thats like 3 weeks my bad

but now its odd cause i have nothing to say

it's safe to say that these last 3 weeks have been spent on self improvement on my inner self but honestly i need to be focusing on my academics 😭 i have A LOT of coursework to do its insane but ima be real and say i do not care i cannot lie

i'm generally feeling happier !! ♡ its nice feeling somewhat better than this month last year,, i've been feeling fulfilled

but that also means i am near 1 full year of being s/h clean ‼️ (pls cheer)

me and my brother stepped out for a little while yesterday :

i will be updating a lot more 💀 i will actually keep up on it too 😝

a manifestation routine.

! long post ahead !

in this post, i want to give you an idea of how a manifestation "routine" could look like. i'm aware that this is one of my longer posts but i wanted to give as many insights and as much reassurance as possible. it’s a guide especially for those, who need a bit guidance, who may have come off track a little and who want to discipline themselves a bit more.

morning and evening.

right before you wake up or fall asleep, lay down on your bed and close your eyes. try to calm your mind, loose any tension built up in your body and take deep breaths in and out. with your eyes closed, pay attention to the darkness you're seeing. everything around you doesn’t exist for now. the outer world is none of your concern. your responsibilities fade away and in this given moment, there is nothing that needs to be worked on, nothing that needs to be fixed, nothing that needs to be dealt with. right now, it’s only you in this darkness. you are safe. you are protected.

now, think about it: what is it that you want? what is it that you wish to experience? this isn’t about what you feel like you should want or what you need to experience but rather what YOU deeply want. what would having / being it feel like? what would it look like? what if you had / were exactly what you wanted?

as you become more and more decisive and definitive about who you want to be and what you want to have, you begin to enter the state of the wish fulfilled. you take a step towards the end. you start to bask yourself in the feeling of being the version of yourself who has or is what you desire to have or be. for this, you can visualise yourself or use affirmations that go hand in hand with your desired outcome.

at the same time, let go of your old conception of self. leave your old mindset. right now, you aren’t who you were before you entered this state of calmness. shift your states. go from your former one to your desired one. give life to your new state and death to your old state. abandon the old story. you don’t need it now. you no longer need to retell it. you don’t need to carry it with you anymore.

don’t focus on details. don’t worry about your scenes of visualisation or wording of affirmations. don’t try to make it perfect. don’t question it. and don’t reason your way into it. try to make it natural. try to make it enjoyable. in imagination, you cannot do anything wrong. feel free to imagine any way you would like to. doing any technique without feeling it to be true and without accepting it won’t do anything. it cannot change you. not the technique itself but the feeling will alter self. your visualisations and affirmations shall only support you by guiding you to your desired state. don’t perform anything in vain. do it with purpose. do it with conviction. do it with acceptance. mere repetitions lead to mere results. if you repeat, then do it with feeling. for feeling is the secret.

this way, you become conscious of your new self. and since consciousness is the one and only reality, things can only appear through consciousness. becoming conscious of having your desire means to feel your desire to be yours. by making consciousness your aim, you are aiming to become conscious of BEING and HAVING your desire.

rest of the day.

after you took time to meditate in the morning, you continue to live with your wish fulfilled during the day. whenever you think of your desire, whenever you start to desire something, you claim it to be yours. you declare that it’s part of your reality now. you simply accept it to be true instead of letting your mind wander, overthink or worry. you don’t leave any space for feelings of desire and refrain from living in desire as well. you don’t have to go into a deep meditative state either. you think of it, recognise your desire, imagine it to be yours, feel it to be yours and then go on with your day. this way, you only aim for your inner fulfillment and get rid of any desire that comes up.

you don’t need to force yourself to think of your desire for a very long time, nor do you need to immediately start affirming or visualising a scene that implies you having your desire. what you do is that you take some time, not a lot, to acknowledge your desire and to shift your state from desiring to owning. you do this for as long as you like, until you have accepted your desire to be yours. you will know when you have shifted your state as you won’t feel feelings of desire anymore. you won’t want it anymore because you know there is nothing left to desire that isn’t already yours.

there's no need to constantly bring you back and to remind yourself of your manifestation. the moment you accept it, you can let it go. it’s done now. it belongs to you. assuming your desire to be yours once you think of it is totally enough. you don’t need to obsess over it either.

the more you do this, the easier it will be for you to remain in your desired state. you will get used to the state because you get used to the feeling. it will start to feel familiar to you. it won’t be as difficult as before. it won’t scare you as it did in the beginning.

once in the state, it will become easier to handle the outer world. your thoughts come from your state aka your feeling and if you happen to be in the state you wanted to occupy, you will respond better to 3D circumstances (if there are any). you'll stop viewing your physical world the way you used to and you'll also stop feeling like it’s a lot of work to be in the state of the wish fulfilled. you'll stop viewing the act of shifting your state as effortless. as normal. as natural. you can happily live in the 3D while still experiencing your manifestation from within, giving your inner self what you want. from now on, you will want to identify with your real self more frequently and anything outside of you will lose importance. you won’t care about how the world may look like, you won’t stress about your physical existence. anything that does not serve you will be of little account.

everyday.

the purpose of this guide is to motivate you to make fulfillment your one and only goal. make it a lovely habit to daily manifest your desires. do it each day.

do not waste time contemplating whether your desires are easy to manifest, quick to manifest, possible to manifest or logical to manifest. stop categorising your manifestations into "big" and "small". do not concern yourself with these matters.

the moment you accept your assumption to be true, it has no option but to materialise. your 3D can never stop reflecting your 4D. you can never run away from your feelings, so why not change them? why not choose lovely feelings for yourself? why not claim great things about yourself? why not immediately grant yourself every wish you have? stop wasting time, conditioning your desires and doubting your abilities as creator of your reality.

within imagination, all things exist and all things are possible. you can be or have anything you'd like in your imagination. it doesn’t have to be hard to get. you don’t need to earn your way to happiness. and you don’t need to work hard for it either. so why would you deny yourself that experience? why would you actively choose not to fulfill yourself? why would you not manifest your desires?

make your imagination a place you love spending time in. make yourself feel feelings of wealth, love, success, health and more. make it so amazing, so addicting that you cannot be bothered or moved by the limitations of the outside world. quoting aphrodite apprentice: "see your desires as invitations to experience something new within yourself and fulfill yourself. and then walk in that fulfillment. just live your entire life in fulfillment."

with love, ella.

“I’m blessed that you’re mine.” is the kind of energy I deserve. No rooms for playing games.

saweetie on meditation making you a pretty girl or boy ♡ I KNOW THATS RIGHT!!

starry rambles #5...

in consciousness, all realities exist, including the one where you are your desired self. hence the saying "consciousness is the only reality"!

so all you really have to do is choose to be your desired self within consciousness, who already has everything they want and that's it! (= creation is finished!)

so you no longer desire, wait, or count the days passing because you already ARE you desired self.

on the topic of fulfilment, you don't even need to feel actual emotions, it's really just knowing creation is finished and living in the 4d!

+ the 3d is absolutely none of your concern, doubts & intrusive thoughts don't stop you from manifesting at all. they don't affect you at all.

\♡3♡/ 16/02/24

i havent updated in a while !! but things are really starting to go my way and im grateful each step of the way~

what ive had on repeat recently :3 :

on saturday me and all my friends did a galentines party and it was so cute and fun and i really enjoyed it !! the cake was yummy (we wrote most boys suck on it) and we all had sm fun

(me in the back with my massive pink sweater and phone 😭😭)

and everyday since then ive just had a really nice fulfillment in my heart ive been working on my self concept too and even manifested a few things~ being grateful for a lot of things really is the answer i cannot believe how far gratitude has gotten me

ive also been working on being more spiritual ever since ive learnt about perception and its influence on the human mind and its been really peaceful so far,,

ive gone ahead and downloaded a bunch of games off of my cousin which resulted in me doing this the whole of yesterday :

i do plan on playing more and the rest of the franchise ofc 😁

thats ab it,, i wanna update weekly instead of everyday now i think its more doable for me

anyway i wish you resiliance, abundance, love and joy ♡♡

3d is not proof of anything

You can tell me that you have no money, and I will ask to you, "how do you know you don't have money?" and maybe you will tell me "I just checked my bank account, I have no money".

But are you checking your bank account right now? No, you are not. Then you are imagining it, assuming that you don't have it.

Knowing Imagination creates reality, and that what you assume and identify as real is reflected, why you sustain limitations and lack in your mind?

You can Imagine and assume anything that you want. Do you want to be poor? I bet you not. Then free yourself in your mind to FEEL what you WANT to feel. REMOVE THE OUTER WORLD CIRCUMSTANCES. You are not forced to unknowlegde what you see with your mortal eyes as real, you can ignore and rewrite the history as you want it to be.

Now let me tell you, the whole world is imagined. Nothing you see with your mortal eyes is a fixed fact.

"If I can make something, I can unmake it. Whatever I can create, I can uncreate." NG

How can I create and uncreate? I dismiss what my senses tell me and I decide to be aware of what I want, knowing it is mine, I experience it. I cannot fail.

Don't take your circumstances to the mind, they are not real. You don't need to fight circumstances, that's not your business, they will be removed as you assume the end.

So if you see something in your world that you don't like, leave the world alone and change Self. Self is everything you identify yourself as being or having!

The confirmation that you have what you believe you have is in your Imagination, it NEVER was in the outerworld. You were always assuming that you had things, now you just assume you have things that you WANT.

If you still believe in what the senses shows you, you are not yet conviced that Imagination creates reality, not the other way around. When you believe it, you will know you are the master of your fate.

Don't sleep again, never forget this truth.

“What a wonderful thought it is that some of the best days of our lives haven’t happened yet.”

— Unknown

૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა 11/02/24

express gratitude always ♡

today i've had this song on repeat for the entire day i cannot lie, it's brought me so much peace i love it so much. i've also been thinking about how much love and light is around me and how much importance is around me i cannot physically put into words how it makes me feel as of recent.

i was also thinking, is it possible to grieve the present? or is there another word for what im feeling, it's like i am hyper aware all that is happening in front of me and how much energy and molecules of matter exist in front of me and how i have the pleasure to be awake and breathing so much so that it makes me want to cry for hours on end.. the fact that my soul and body got a chance to co-exist in one reality? .. it seems almost dystopian even though its just life. i dont want anyone to dull this spark of gratitude that ive been feeling. its so euphoric, like genuine self love i suppose? i feel it in me in waves. i'm guessing its good energy.

i drank a lot of tea today, started a new lego piece and watched one of my fave kdramas. how i wish i could live a simple life like this after the school holiday period.

wait why would i wish when i can just believe

The greatest element that helped me understand what I needed the most, was to make safety my top priority in everything I wanted. Safe in my space, safe in my thoughts, safe in my autonomy, and safe in the people around me who can honor myself just as much as I can honor them.

How to "make space" for your feelings:

- expect them to be there rather than minimizing them or pretending you're not feeling anything. Expect yourself to have emotions and feelings and reactions. Admit to yourself when you are hurt, admit to yourself when you are sad, angry, heartbroken. You're a human being! You are allowed to have feelings! Even AI bots have feelings these days!! So why can't you???

- talk it out in a safe space. Even if you have to say it out loud to yourself by yourself. Saying it out loud not only makes it real but it also helps us process in a different way, because now you have proof and evidence of the things that are bothering you.

- notice when you're dismissing yourself ("this is dumb, I shouldn't feel that way.") and say this instead: "you belong here." All of your emotions have a purpose. They're trying to tell you something. For instance, feeling jealous tells us when we're feeling left out, less than, competitive with others, insecure about our own worth, and probably telling you a past wound that is still open & needing your attention. By allowing yourself to acknowledge this jealous feeling exists, you can pinpoint the exact reason and bring it out for your own introspection & attention. But you can't do this if youre stuck telling yourself you're a bad person for feeling this way, or too unaware of yourself to even notice that jealousy is what you're feeling in the first place. That is why step one is to expect yourself to have feelings and reactions in the first place, so you can talk about them and move them in safer & healthier ways.

- Drop the need for perfectionism & expect this to be a process. You're not gonna be able to change this overnight, so don't expect yourself to. All of your emotions are welcomed here, even and especially the negative ones, even and especially when you inevitably make mistakes, even and especially if you're self hating and persecuting. Has telling yourself to "stop feeling this way" ever worked? So why the hell are we still trying that method?

- yes, that even means your thoughts and feelings of wanting to unalive yourself. You've been through hard things and you're carrying that load all by yourself. It makes sense that this is how you feel. In a world that keeps us down, you've got to learn to accept all of you exactly as you are. Your unaliving feelings belong here too. They're telling you something, they're telling you you've had enough and that something needs to change because it's literally zapped your life force.

- notice your thinking patterns. Are you beating yourself up all the time? Are you avoiding something? Is there a deeper reason? Yes, it is that deep. This is your life after all. Why live if it's not about you? Is there any way you can make this easier on yourself?

- Establish yourself a safety zone & network to unmask and ask for help & reassurance. "Making space" means to expect & allow yourself to be vulnerable. You still get to choose how, where, when, & with whom you want to be vulnerable with. You can do this by first finding spaces that make space for you. Therapy & online venting spaces are a great place to start.

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

Hope this helps ❤️‍🩹

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

“I hope that someday, somebody wants to hold you for twenty minutes straight, and that’s all they do. They don’t pull away. They don’t look at your face. They don’t try to kiss you. All they do is wrap you up in their arms, without an ounce of selfishness in it.”

— Unknown

i puke out all my thoughts into diary form and i love it cause its my mini corner of the internet :3 [making an actual intro and masterlist eventually]

૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა 08/02/24

all is not lost and grief is needed in order to heal.

ive been trying to make myself all put together and healed up when i havent even done the first step yet which is grieving, ive been putting it off for so long but the reality is that healing does not come without intense emotional releases and i had no idea that i was damaging myself by not allowing myself to process it all, now that i did that today it is very much tiring but its so much more better than staying in an anxious and low state all the time. all is well !! and i believe i will get better and love myself more each and everyday

its really hard to admit that i let someone treat me like i was less than and believed it but also the fact that i saw myself as less deserving, i dont want to be hateful at my past self so all i can do is love and let go no matter how long it takes to do so,, i'll def be sleeping with a clear mind and come to the acceptance of that pain

but i also finished my kuromi lego set today !! look it >

give yourself permission to be who you are, fear does not exist in a space where gratitude is always present. i always look at the life outside of my head and will forever remain grateful for it all being here, even if its negatively tied to my past. in the same respect i also choose to be who i've always wanted to be even if others look at it negatively ♡

i sit in the sun. i drink tea. i recieve a message from my friend. i read a book. i take a walk. i fall in love with life a little bit.

૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა 07/02/24

today i can safely say im grateful for everything and everyone that has come my way ♡ i was speaking to my friends a whole lot more today and felt the love all around, i love them so much !! i also worked up the courage to go to lesson today which is something i dont do often, my tiredness and anxiety gets the best of me but im glad i went today, it made me realise that maybe i do enjoy the things that i do, i cant wait for many more blessings to come my way, in fact havent they already? i'm def working on putting a diary entry up everyday 😭 ive got this !

however i know my days arent always sunshine and rainbows, i struggled a lot with unwanted thoughts today.. detachment does not come easy right now but i know it will be easy tommorow. let go and let god is something i now live by.

⁺˚⋆｡ °✩₊ 2/2/24

todays been all about challenging emotions, not cause i wanted it to be but instead it has just come to the point where its making me feel a little crazy,, all of this pent up emotion has me looking at myself in the mirror different.

but i know i cant move forward without expressing all of this emotion, yet i keep on catching myself being so worried about other peoples expectations even when they arent even in my life anymore, not just that but also the way i look to other people. i dont want to be like that anymore its draining and irritating and ive been quite irritated today :( it takes patience to make everything fall into order and accept but i wish it was just like night and day, is this a form of karma or punishment? im not sure..

im trying to be kinder to myself and as long as im trying i know there will be an outcome.

but on the positive side i got bubble tea today with my best friend :)

i managed to calm myself down from sudden anxiety today for the first time ever!? ♡♡ i'm really making progress !

i find it so surreal on how even the most forgetful things hold so much memories, to one person a pen might just be a necessity and to another it might just be the meaning of love in itself

⁺˚⋆｡ °✩₊ 31/01/24

i completely forgot to update yesterday,,

i had the worst period cramps ever they hurt so bad and i puked 5 times, truly awful

today just consisted of rest and relaxation but also healing, im aware im not making as much progress as i can be however i like these small steps and im really starting to feel at peace even if im not the happiest on most days

i finally get that healing isn't about keeping peace at all costs but instead going through emotions and processing them and turning back to peace, choosing love over fear always ♡♡

i finally got to play persona 5 royal today, i'd been putting it off cause of my mood but im so glad i did today it really turned my head back on what i usually enjoy,, i cant wait for friday cause thats when persona 3 reload comes out !! i've heard the ost leak for colour the night and i'm absolutely loving it !!

i'll prioritise good time and good friends cause im a good person too, i was speaking to a close friend of mine and he told me that i should only surround myself with people who make me soft and bring out the sweetness in me instead of bitter and cold and that genuinely resonated with me cause i always seem to be putting a mask on infront of people and even some of my friends cause i feel as if i shouldn't let my guard down.

ive been putting my mind onto the music i want to listen to more these days and my mind always goes back to jhene aiko and umi, i love them both and their music always gets me feeling soft and spiritual, i strive to be like that too.. but anyway i wont forget to update tommorow !!

oh to be a pretty little ginger cat snoozing in the dappled shade of the wild mango tree

i know that every time i take a step forward out of love for myself, the light that makes me whole shines even brighter. daily reminder that you are such a beautiful being of light too ♡

⁺˚⋆｡ °✩₊ 29/01/24

dear diary,

fear is such a weird thing? why do i care about what other people are doing and if i see them or if they perceive me,, i really shouldn't be having such limiting thoughts, i want to conquer all my social fears this week, i'm going to make it my goal.

today was very all over the place but i think it fell in place beautifully? even if it's not what i wanted. i think these days theres just comfort thinking in the air, as in how my clothes feel against my body or how the wind flows outside, the sound of the train station every morning, the squelchy noise my boots make every time i step on the pavement.. like that, is there a word for that? is it mindful thinking? i also want to focus on the present a lot this week.

my train ticket ended up declining this morning and for a moment it felt so humiliating but i then realised that it wasn't, i just had to put more money into my account and just move on, i now want to live like that. if it doesn't serve me i just move on with it.

i had mentoring today and it was so freeing to finally be able to discuss with a teacher why i struggle in certain lessons and how i can combat them,, now i just have to actual put that in practice

i also finally submitted a poetry piece into a college comp and im pretty proud of the piece ♡ i hope i have a chance of winning it but i also know that if i believe in myself i'll get the outcome that is most ideal

today was slightly anxiety inducing but mainly due to my own fears and self esteem, gives me something to work on~ i hope tommorow is a better day for myself.

its only 10am and today is already off to a bad start,, hopefully it gets better.. well let me trust in positivity ♡

30 Heal Your Inner Child Affirmations 🧸🍭💛✨

I am worthy of love and acceptance.

My feelings are valid and important.

I forgive my past and embrace my present.

I am deserving of happiness and joy.

I am safe and protected.

I trust the journey of healing.

My inner child is resilient and strong.

I am in control of my life now.

I release old wounds and embrace healing.

I am enough, just as I am.

I deserve to be treated with kindness and respect.

I am capable of creating a life I love.

I am surrounded by love and support.

I am proud of who I am becoming.

I am deserving of all good things.

I am healing more and more every day.

I am open to receiving love and care.

I am connected to my inner wisdom.

I am free from the burdens of my past.

I am brave and courageous.

I am deserving of inner peace.

I am in charge of my own happiness.

I am worthy of trust and understanding.

I am loved for who I am.

I am constantly growing and evolving.

I am deserving of a life filled with joy.

I am a beacon of light and hope.

I am deserving of comfort and security.

I am in a continuous process of healing.

I am embracing my inner child with love and compassion.

⁺˚⋆｡ °✩₊ 28/01/24

dear diary,

okay, first diary entry here

today has been somewhat.. odd? i'm focusing on myself more than ever right now but it still feels as if i'm stuck at phase 1,, i dont like the feeling of being stuck but i know that in reality ive made a lot of progress ?? i guess i just have to keep on telling myself that i have moved forward. i think taking care of myself after an awful breakup is the best thing ive ever done, that person made me realise that i have a whole lot of healing to do but of course i dont like or resonate myself with the way they said it or how they treated me through out the time we were together, however dwelling on that thought and how they hurt me just isn't healthy at all, so i have nothing to do but accept the outcome as it is and work on myself that.

is it odd that i dont class it as a relationship? it's been months. it was hardly what lovers would do and in my mind what i would do or would want to do as a lover. i move on with the seasons so it isn't any of my concern anymore. i can't waste my energy on things that do not serve me, i am a being of light and should be treated as such.

i just want to love myself whole and stay in peace and solace, i need this right now ! all the focus is on me ♡ i'm now looking forward to new begginings, i know they'll serve me greatly

one of my friends sent me a few tiktok videos talking sbout how thankful she was to have me in her life and i think thats so beautiful, shes amazing and i love her too !! shes been nothing but amazing to me, i'll be sure to pay her back tenfold.

i've been getting a lot of loving messages from people around me these days and honestly it makes me feel so valued, i take it to heart a lot more than i used to you know? one of them also said they'd let smoke with them next time they got some more bud and i honestly think thats so nice

both me and my bestfriend are single and we've both felt more gratitude and gratefulness with each other more now than ever and we made this whole little plan for places to visit and i love it so much, shes taking me to a japanese restraunt on valentines ♡ i can't wait, shes truly my soulmate.

i guess im torn between searching for new love or loving myself. i think the best thing to do is to love myself until the person that fits my worth comes by.

i have a lot of assignments to catch up on but im not too stressed about them right now,, i know i'll be able to get the work done. as of right now i stay unbothered and want to stay unbothered for a long time lol, i stay vulnerable and small within my own circle.

We need to stop being so anxious about our loved ones needing some space from us. It's ok to need some alone time, it's ok to take time to regroup after a disagreement, space does not equal separation, and our anxiety of separation is not a reason to deny someone the space they need. Even needing time everyday spend alone is normal. Some people need more space than others and that's ok. They will come around. Give them a minute.