He Was There For My First Breath. I Was There When He Took His Last. I Would Give Up So Much To Talk

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Arthur Rimbaud (b. 20 October 1854)

sadness, grief, anger, etc. might feel comfortable because they’re familiar, but that doesn’t make them good for you. feel them, but don’t let them overtake you.

Yes, it's your responsibility to heal. But you know what? It's okay to be angry about it. It's okay to be sad about it. It's okay to feel like it isn't fair, because you know what? It isn't fair! And you're allowed to feel that and acknowledge that. You deserved so much better.

work in progress

oh, i am finally old enough to know why my parents took so long to grab their coats. why they would ask us to get ready to go only to sit down for another round of coffee. what would i tell myself, at 10 years old? it’s okay. sit down with them too. take in the extra hour with your friend and her family. when you get home, write down every moment in your diary. one day you will be older and you will be waving goodbye to your best friend, and you will turn the key to start your beat up little car engine, and you will look back over your shoulder. her hair will be blowing in the wind and she will be beautiful and you will be, for a moment, struck by all of it. what you will feel is so wide and nameless that it will engulf you. and you will think of being 14 and kicking her under the table in math every time you wanted to whisper something behind the teacher’s back. you will think about how long the days felt, and how you could hold her hand whenever you wished, but you didn’t. and you will think about all of the people you could have lingered with. and you will wish, more than you have ever felt a wish, that the universe just gave you that - more time to linger. more time to say - i love you. i know i need to leave, but i don’t want to leave you. and when i go, i am leaving a piece of my heart that lingers too. 

one more round of coffee. the days are so short, and you are so lovely.

Unknown // Suzanne Scanlon

18

Maybe they’re right. I am too much, too abrasive, too irritating. Too foolish, too clueless. I try to communicate and to understand where I’ve gone wrong. I try to learn and to do better. Instead, I feel like an idiot who isn’t ever going to get it.