I'm nervous
But I showed up and here I am
I'm choosing to go down swinging, hard
I have to know that I tried
Even if I know I'm gonna get my butt kicked,
I like to at least attempt to kick back
My life has trained me for the sport of butt kicking
But it sometimes leaves me feeling pooped out
Every time I yawn I roar like a lion
A silent roar of sleep deprivation
But a roar of determination
Call me stupid
Call me crazy
But I'm gonna get this right no matter how many times it takes
I'll get it eventually
You can annoy me and make me feel uncomfortable but you cannot get through my stubborn head
I'm nearly impossible to brainwash
Without other methods being used
Looking at the big picture
Can be daunting
But you can just use fractions
And break everything up
Shatter it thoroughly
Take a step back
Breathe
And look with new eyes of simplicity
One step
At
A
Time
Let the miracles happen, and have fun storming the castle
That moment when you can't get the pencil to write
When the paper bites
Writer's block
Is worse than getting stuck with your brother's smelly sock
Too many thoughts on my mind
I need to write so I'll know I'll be just fine
Into a ball I want to curl
I need to stop hiding from the world
The moment you are so numb that nothing helps, not even music
I know I have the power but I'm afraid to use it
It would just cause me trouble
Make my world as I know it crumble
You start to think
At writing you stink
You don't want to write it all
Can't risk another fall
You are plain 'ol stuck
Wishes on shooting stars for better luck
What you don't realize is that it's all there
You need to take the dare
Too many thoughts yet at the same time I have an empty head
So for now I'm off to bed
Theater is life
Someone kept stealing my lines though…
Soooo…
How’s the weather?
Its ever changing, wasn't that clever? How was school?
Did anything interesting happen?
No answer, oh he was just napp’n
This isn't awkward, it’s just weird
I think this is what I feared I know that you have a crush
But I don’t know anyone
Can’t you just be gone?
I'm just scared
Because you care I like to be alone
I'm single
I don’t want a boy to break my heart like a pringle
I've been hurt so many times
You would know if you read all of my rhymes Can you take me?
Am I ready for a big jump?
Should I prepare for another painful heart thump?
I think that your crush is just lust
Right now your love I don’t really trust Hey.
Do you even know the difference between lust and love?
I want to try you on and see if you fit like a glove
Sometimes I do get lonely
Maybe all of you is just baloney I should get my head straightened out
Are you the one?
Should we become Suan?
I need to stop making jokes out of your name
For now I'm glad you came Do you really want this?
Do you want this terribly stubborn mess
Don’t expect anymore, or any less
If I could just make up my mind
Boy, you seem kind Thanks to Facebook
You said, “Hi”
What if you ever saw me cry?
Baby
Maybe someday you'll save me I still remember that time
When you were telling a mini story
In all your glory
When you pulled me off the couch, I was a sour lime
But you asked, “Babe can you please be mine?”
I'm blowing warmth into my hands, As autumn falls like the leaves belonging to it The wind has regained its chipperness My booted feet begin to get clumsy People who say you should keep your head, Up; don’t know what they are talking about There are some bad roots you have to look down for Unless you want to get knocked down again The leaves changed fast this year Some are already brown, dry and ready to be decomposed Where’s your warm hand I thought I was holding? Where did I lose my big coat? Were you on the ship I purposely deserted and sank? Good! That’s what I wanted, At the time Now I'm lost with my flannel shirt and my snaky soul My cold nose and my mittens that no longer fit Well, decisions will get you someplace in the woods My best days are long behind and far ahead At least I can’t see my breath yet I have to find my clearing on my own That will be tough but I got myself here, I have to get myself back out Autumn you will not make me fall!
I can sometimes feel your love
Like a massage that's over
Even though you're not around
I feel it and it's what I think I need
Your love is like the warmth of the sun
You're not near me
But I can feel your warmth
On my skin
Your love is like my moon
Far away
Yet I can see your light
In my dark
Your love is like a song
That has already been played
But still buzzing
Around my head
Your love feels like
A glowing aura on my skin
That protects me
From life’s miseries
Your love almost feels like
You are keeping watch and looking out for me
And I sometimes think
That I see you out of the corner of my eye
But maybe that is all just wishful thinking
Because I miss you
And your love
That felt so good and right
Light flickering
Reminds me of where I live
It’s annoying
But that’s just how it is
It makes it feel like more of a horror movie
And I know that there are monsters under the bed
I consider it camping
Yet it’s just life
It will carry on even if I can’t see the stars,
Swirling in time
Above my head,
A universe that I cannot touch
My mind
Is a strobe light
And I feel a bit dizzy
It’s a bit too much to take in, again
My heart is light with carbon dioxide
The candle a flickerin within
And I'm scared that
I can smell the smoke of the future
I’m hanging on like a cliff hanger
Just hanging on and just hoping against odds
But you learn to pull yourself up and at least sit on the branch
But it sways in the wind
So you hang on and try your best not to fall
If you do it’s all over
No second chances
No forgiveness for trying so hard
So hard not to just jump
It’s getting tempting
It seems easier just ending it
But you just keep fighting
That’s all you've ever done
You think it will just end anyway
You might slip
Your hands are getting extremely tired and sweaty
But you’re used to it
You teach yourself how to walk on the small branch
You start to trust it
You shouldn't though
But it’s all you've got
You just want to be saved
But you know that’s highly unlikely
You lose hope
You want to climb the cliff
It’s straight up
Or straight down if you fall
One way trip
Will you make it?
You try to grab the side of the cliff
It falls out of your hand as debris
And dust because you have been there for so long…
And yet longer…
No help!
You start screaming
All you hear are your echo’s
You know it’s no use to hold on anymore
You jump
You feel so free
You like the feeling of flying
Your stomach in your throat
You haven’t done anything like this in at least a year
You see the bottom getting closer
You can’t wait for it to end…
Summer will not make me dumber
With no stress, I'm more depressed
Biased people with remainders of my past, in my brain it will never last
I can't breath; It's debilitating but I'm not suffocating
Give me a car and I'll take it far
Wishing things were different, kissing your black shoe
Waiting for that day, knowing you'll be hesitating
Waking up without a mission, then going fish'n
Feeling like you're not going to get there, life is only so fair
Dreamers with their silly fantasy dreams, fighting for them but not getting ice creams
They became depressed, while they were back in their nest
They stopped fighting, and tried rewriting
Their progress plateaued, and started the downhill flow
Then out of nowhere their flame relit, and found the way out of the pit
They wrote of sugar coated endings, to deal with the god sendings
Of summer never being a bummer
You, little flit flirt
Back at my window
From bad to good, my feelings you convert
The wind blows, blows, blows
Window, open, I still can’t hear you
Please stay
With you I think I’ll get through
My light of day
Everything, you give
I’ll saver
Die for you, or live?
If you ever need a favor...
You and I don’t have the clock,
Don’t rush
Love, my time torturously tick tocks
Me heart you better not crush
I will succeed
Still you come and go
Love me?
You taught me how to go with the flow
I sit here observing
Observing other people's lives
Observing my life Observing how the canoe
Hugs the dock
As if it knows it will be dark soon Observing the smell of the pines
And a pontoon boat going by
Observing a kid learning to scuba dive Observing the twilight sky reflected picassoed
On the fairly smooth
Glimmering water Observing a summer romance
Taking place on a tall rock
Observing my sunburnt skin peeling when I get the feeling... Observing how the mood of the water can change
So fast
So shifty The ducks already passed
Knowing this night is my last,
Probably for a while
Of this lake girl style
Living my dream days
I thought they were here to stay
I was wrong
They sure didn't last long
I find myself back in a dreadful waiting room
Doctors, doctors, and nurses
I sit waiting while my heart fills with doom
Mothers paying clean their purses
While the air plays the song paradise
Sardonically speaking of the days my friend spent eating white rice
The cold takes me out of my daydream
If only the cold was sweet like ice cream
I get dragged to a building that has a sign with the number, 65
Trying to text my boyfriend
Off of the unknown I do not thrive
Checking my phone over and over again
It's super silent in here
I can't seem to let go of fear
Is the doctor young or old?
Will they fit my up-down turn around mold?
I rerealize that I'm sitting in another drab waiting room
Doctor, doctor and a nurse
I sit here while my heart refills with doom
I see a mother paying out of her purse
Thinking about my dream days
I wish they were here to stay
But alas I was wrong
Too bad they didn't last long
Hello over there! I love writing poetry. I have a dream of becoming a writer! I hope that my poetry makes you feel like you're not in this world all alone.
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