Words

Pages

I don’t know what love is

I just can’t wrap my head around it

Like the size of the universe

Love makes people do crazy things, but it just usually makes me curse

How could you not lose hope and keep lining up shells?

Because of love

I am third wheeling it

And it’s lonely

But not for the lovers, only

They are unconsciously awake

Let’s travel

And get a plane ticket

To a place where our hearts don’t feel heavy with atmosphere

Dear,

Let’s start again

Even if I feel like a spring…

Stressed out

Is how I work

Otherwise

I just sit on my ass instead of taking to the skies

I need to get away to any other place

A new reality where I will not be a sad tragedy

But will have a happily ever after

Filled with much laughter

Because any other place has got to be better  

I currently live in a deep cave of a library, that’s full of empty dreams

I stare at the ceiling as I scream with laryngitis

And I feel the shelves towering over me, all around

I'm a story that someone forgot to put down

And I just want to be put on the shelf

Sometimes it seems like I can see the most clearly when I am blinded by tears

Because that’s when I'm not avoiding my feelings

It’s like I am able to see the lopsided way the world moves

The inner working grooves

That are so complicatingly simple

I wonder not when, but if the pieces will ever fall together

Being the mismatching misfit that I am

I don’t know if I am a puzzle that can be put together; maybe I was made wrong

All along,

A factory mishap

I want you to hold me as close as pages of a book that are bound to the spine

Because maybe

You could force and weld pieces of me together and get readjusted

As I fall apart and become more rusted

Like the tin man  

I have a heart

I just don’t like to let on to that,

It’s actually not stone cold at all

It’s quite the opposite

It’s all mushy and squishy

We Need To Talk

We need to talk

And you probably don’t want to hear what I'm going to say

And you'll probably take it as me pushing you away

It feels like I'm suffocating

On anything other than him, concentrating

I think you need to be so near,

To combat your unnecessary fear

But if you don’t want me to go

What you should know,

Is that you need to give me a galaxy so I can fall

I don’t want to appall,

You, my case,

Is that, I need space…

That is, if you want me to fall stupidly

And hit a bullseye with me, cupidly

You need to give me a cliff

Unless you want me to go all limp and stiff

However, it is your choice if you want to catch a fallen me

But don’t make me do a lame trust fall; do we agree?

Man, I like to go all the way

So just listen to what I gotta say

Give me all of it or don’t bother with me

Can’t you see,

That lately I've been finding other things to occupy my hands and hours with

Since I am a giver, if you don’t give me space, I’ll leave you amidst,

My present of coldness that you can not return

Maybe you'll learn

And I don’t like being doted on 24/7

I guess what I'm saying is, be a little more like hell rather than heaven

“Come ‘ere”

You could move yo ass instead of pulling me near

I don’t chase boys

So if you want me you're gonna have to follow me for your joy

We need to talk

But without me, please don’t go for a walk

I want to go too

Rachel

Those damn ex’s

Leave your brain perplexed

Walks lightly

Thinks brightly

Favorite color is green

Just like a spleen

Understands your weird, random metaphors

Doesn’t waste her time and energy knocking down unnecessary doors

The grand piano player

Has many layers

Some that I’ll probably never get to see

Gave away her key

Seems pretty sophisticated

Good fated

Always saying that everyone has their own fight

Not afraid to spend the night

Looking out for me

Lets my thoughts be

She’s courageous

She’s contagious

You’ll always want her around

Leaves you thinking new thoughts like why don’t you just push off the ground

What are you hiding under there?

Doesn’t take a stupid dare

Goes beyond

Knows about that dirty mucky messed up pond

Promises you that you can fly

Look at those blue eyes

Deep

Proves the secrets that she keeps

Fell and scraped her knee

Got stung by the swarm of stinging bees

But stood

To show life that she could

So smart

She’s off the chart

So much more to learn

In life there are so many places to turn...

Journaling

I leave my journal laying open at night, hoping that the words will fly off the page

And drift out the window into the night air

And dance around the moon

I should start dreaming soon

Too many bugs flying around my world

You wouldn’t want forever

People change

And you’ve never seen my rage

I miss your calming

Smooth

Sing-song voice

You left me no choice

But to trust

And live in the exhilarating moment

And taught me that you don’t have to chase

Or try to erase

Moments

Of happiness and sadness

The magic is already there

Sparking in the air

Getting stuck in your crazy hair

That I miss more than you'd ever know

I'm stuck in negative time

While forgetting how to rhyme

Where are my feelings?

Behind my eyes

Sharp

Hidden under the weathered tarp

One day I will finish writing my story

And I’ll let the words swarm you like a tornado of bees

Or a meteor shower

A universe with all the power

My Stupid Castle

And it looks like

This could be the end

Of this perfect palace

This new life

Was so sweet

With beginners luck

The fairy godmother magic

Could only hold out for so long

A kite flying

Then getting pulled back down

By the person who is flying it

At least

I didn’t get stuck

In a tree

My stupid castle

Was not built by a genius

It was built

By this peasant

Who was not destined to be a ruler

I now see myself once again

As not worthy

And I was silly to think I was

Depression

Is trying to kiss me

And sneak into my system

Through my chapped, chewed, cracked lips

I thought that we weren’t dating anymore, just friends

I can only keep

My dreams alive for so long

Before I become too worn down to maintain them

Being whipped

By disappointment

I can feel

Failure

Making its poisonous way back into my blood

I don’t know how to

Make myself clean again,

By sterilizing my depression

With

Hope

Time Bomb

I'm a ticking time bomb

A bottle full of pressure

The cork is stuck

I won’t give them a warning to duck

Will shatter into a million pieces

A broken pencil

Not usable or wanted

You get taunted

Never picked first

But yet I get picked on first

Yet if someone just sharpened me…never

They still won’t let me pull the lever

I'm treading in high water and I'm getting tired

Going to blow eventually

No one can see all the pressure rising higher yet

Later, they might have regrets

What will they say when you explode?

Is that what they want?

They’ll laugh at the exploded mess,

And your unrealistic progress

Good luck picking yourself back up

Why don’t they just shut up already?

Why don’t you just open up to someone

Instead of hiding behind a zinger or a pun

Your Love

I can sometimes feel your love

Like a massage that's over

Even though you're not around

I feel it and it's what I think I need

Your love is like the warmth of the sun

You're not near me

But I can feel your warmth

On my skin

Your love is like my moon

Far away

Yet I can see your light

In my dark

Your love is like a song

That has already been played

But still buzzing

Around my head

Your love feels like

A glowing aura on my skin

That protects me

From life’s miseries

Your love almost feels like

You are keeping watch and looking out for me

And I sometimes think

That I see you out of the corner of my eye

But maybe that is all just wishful thinking

Because I miss you

And your love

That felt so good and right

Questions

I hate this life

This life

Of other people trying

Trying to know everything about me

I don’t just get interrogated once, but twice too many times

I cant handle all these questions, questions, QUESTIONS!

That echo too loudly in my brain

Because I know that they will get analyzed,

In every way possible

Along with

All of my actions

I brought this upon myself

By answer one or two questions

Can you just let me

Make my own decisions and choices

Without having to be a part of it

I'm an adult now and yet

You still treat me like a baby,

That has no knowledge at all

And because of you I can't concentrate

On success

And that’s why you're being so difficult with me

Because you don’t want me to turn out

Like you

But you're making success harder

Than it really needs to be

And your sweet voice

Doesn’t help

It doesn’t make anything better

And you can't persuade me with it

Light Pollution

Staring at the dark ceiling

I have it memorized

If only the glow in the dark stars were real constellations

I’d know my way around them by now

I’m a night owl; a nocturnal creature dealing

A toilet flushing down the hall

Brings me back to my punishment of being under aged

Being owned by your parents

They call it custody

I call it a prison of musty walls

I'm allergic to the stuffy skeleton of this house

Keeping the keys quiet so I don’t get in trouble

Deep trouble

For something so little

In comparison of the big picture and the hole in my blouse

I need to get away from the light pollution

So I can shine brighter than my cousins

Two stars, and I get compared to them

It’s inevitable because I'm trapped being related

Because I must be part of the salty solution

I must get away from the people asking me why I'm not shining,

While my surface is burning hotter than magma

Waiting to explode

Letting the pressure you put in me develop,

Into diamonds I will wear while going out with a special one dining

Letting some steam off in a perfect sun storm

I'm fast and burn hard

But I wait like a cat about to pounce

You won’t see it coming before you're in a ring of flames

You can’t freeze my flames out, with your heart so cold you still can’t even make the temperature go from hot to warm

The Reason Why I Fell

The reason why I'm about to fall

Is because I once stood tall

Just as quick and graceful as a fawn

You are gone

‘Twas all but a dream

You secretly made me beam

Even though I shuddered

And muttered

You were so patient like the paper I leak ink on

You are gone

Big sister

Now you're a big blister

That I will never fully comprehend

A message I might send

But I know I will slip away like sand

In your pretty young hands

I felt so safe

But now I feel the chafe

We had fun

What's done is done

‘Twas all but a silly nightmare

‘Twas just a tear,

In the page,

Of a script who’s fate was to drift off stage

And that was the reason why I fell

Into this well

At dark dawn

I am gone...