Latest Posts by sugarandnails - Page 8

Inside

The past is the past

It may not have been the best

Let’s just leave it at that

But soon I'll be free from this wrecked nest

Right now it's not fun

It's those memories

I should hurry up, get over it and be done

Families that feel like enemies

The stares that pierce through you

They judge

But they don't have a clue

Their stubborn heads won't budge

I now look forward, so don't make me look back

I will be better someday

I won the treasure by slapping the jack

I didn't mean it like that way

No one to trust

No one to hold and clutch

Heat full of tumble weeds and dust

Not even a love touch

I was invisible

They didn't care

But anything is live-able

So I built my own lair

They didn't pay attention either

Suck it up and deal

Never got a breather

No one cares how I really feel

Say that you love me then break me like a china plate

Why did you make me sit on a towel?

Well now you're too late

Never had good bowels

Always felt out of place

I'm sorry but some things can't be forgiven

After things happened I don't feel safe

But I'm going to keep on live'n

Always felt different and weird

In a bad way

I tried to make all of it disappear

Nobody I wanted ever stayed

Tears roll'n down my cheek

They hit the floor like glass

The feelings that are deep down are antique

It can happen that fast

I've learned how to turn myself into a rock

Always picking up my own head

It causes me to have writers block

While people eat the meat, I don't whine and take the bread

No one cared if my head drooped down

I was forced to walk alone

They ignored me when one my face there was a frown

That's when my heart turned to stone

Marble

Our time is 5:07

It's my heaven

Don't you ever doubt that you are my friend

Shall I make you say it again?

You know what I mean

Please spill the beans

I’ve heard that before but I don't know where

Sorry, but I don't dare

I can't hurt you, I won't sugarcoat it with extra fluff

You've already been hurt enough

I like writing misery, you like science

But 5:07 is our compliance

I refuse to lose my marble

This one is really garbled

Garbled and hard to understand, without a doubt

I like it when you freak out

It means you care

My tall teddy bear

Now you know that I can't even sneeze

And all you could say was, "oh jeez"

Oh but that guy, Brad

She's mad

To make her day

She wishes that certain people would get out of the way

She's befuddled

I'm befuddled

When she smiles

I sit back and watch for awhile

For you I will never stop

Until I'm at the top

That rock wall, for you I will climb

Because 5:07 is our time

I Am Grendel

I am Grendel

I hate the sound of laughter

It just leaves me angry after

I am Grendel

I like to be alone

I'm a monster with a heart of stone

I am Grendel

When I see someone having fun

I get the impulse to run

I am Grendel

I’ve been around

And Beowulf threw me to the ground

I am Grendel

All I need is love

But I only seem to get shoved

I am Grendel

Why can't anyone see?

They don’t get me

I am Grendel

Always misunderstood

No one ever believed in me and told me that I could

I am Grendel

No one understands

Always getting canned

I am Grendel

I don’t mean to be bitter

Too bad people never consider

I am Grendel

I get laughed at for the way I look

I get out of this world by reading books

I am Grendel

Did you pay attention to what you said?

Because of you I am dead

I am Grendel

I can’t keep going

The current is too strong and keeps flowing

I am Grendel

I've bled out

There is so much self doubt

I am Grendel

I don’t know what to do, I am lost

Their insults in my heart are permanently embossed

I am Grendel

I just wish it would stop

I'm never on the top

I am Grendel

I've never been shone

Just leave me alone

Save Me?

Why must time stand still?

The longer I wait here the more it kills

Come on

Just because I’m no longer your student, are you gone?

You have to still care

Before I sent it, I told myself to beware

My hopes have shattered

Heart tattered

Why do I never learn?

I guess It’s still not my turn

When will I be saved?

My roads are never freshly paved

Don’t you dare leave me hanging

By a thread I’m already dangling

My head is a complete mess

I don’t know how I’ll ever confess

Sometimes I think that life is a game

How much can I hold in until I go insane?

What you don’t know

Just promise not to go

But I don’t trust

This is a must

Are you still here reading?

Well I’m still sitting here bleeding

If you thought I was strong

You were wrong

I used to be

But along the way I lost me

I don’t know who I am

I don’t know how to get my old self back, damn!

I used to hate writing

But now I write lots of poems while lip biting

I don’t even know if I miss my old self

My high hopes I will put back on a shelf

That way they won’t shatter

Does it even matter?

Colitis

Proctitis

Don’t be a buttcrack

And just write back

I just can’t take it anymore

I’m running for the door

I just can not

Ever since I was little I’ve been through a lot

All I do is fight

But I now have no more might

A fight that will last a lifetime

I’ve given up on the climb

A fight that I’ll never win

Complication after complication that’s all it’s ever been

I’m just really tired of it all

Just exhausted of being fate’s rag doll

I can’t keep everything in, everyday closer to exploding

Me you’ll never be able to decode

Why must time stand still?

The longer I wait here the more it kills

We Have Each Other

Depressed and weak, united we stand

Hand in hand

We hang on by a strand

We silently have each other’s backs

Someone else has what I lack

Sometimes we fall apart and crack

Some draw on their sides

Some hide

Behind a blind

When we are choking

We all have our ways of coping

But we still take each other under our wing

Sometimes dominoes that stand tall

Uncontrollably we fall

But we always get back up like a bouncy ball

But one thing that we’ve got

We understand a lot

We hope that if we draw that we'll never get caught

Between us we must

Share a secret trust

We know the feeling of having heavy hearts full of rust

We hide the pain in our eyes

Terrified of anymore goodbyes

We start faking smiles at sunrise

Most people don’t “get it”

But we do and that’s why we are close knit

Some of us have grit

We don’t use it when we need it most

Like when you're thinking about trying to overdose

Some of us like to hide in the shadows like ghosts

It’s hard to watch the change of a season

When you can’t find any real reasons

To keep fighting your vicious demons

Some of us can feel pain all the way to our bones

We think we are alone

But we’re not, together we have grown

We can do this

Our mission we won’t diss

Togetherness is almost bliss

Myself

The reason I may look like a party pooper or down

Is because when I used to walk up to people and tell them my name they would give me a frown

They wouldn't say anything so I would walk away

Then I would see them sneaking peaks at me and laughing, but someday...

I would go sit away from them on the concrete wall

Or I would get a basketball

And shoot hoops all by myself

I put my high hopes on a shelf

Sometimes when I would make a hoop someone would run up to me

And kick the ball away, then laugh at my plea

For peace

I was the one who tried hard with elbow grease

But now I just go sit there anyway

To save myself from all the pain

That's why I don't go up to people and tell them my name

I just always ended up ashamed

Ashamed to be me

Whatever I did they laughed at

Someday hopefully they will realize that

They were all the bitches

That should die in ditches

Sorry I just wish I could make them pay

And that still happens to me today

Even in high school

People think making fun of me is “cool”

Why are they so cruel?

I hate going there

Because most people don't care

And they say that there are only raggies in this town

I bet you don’t know that word, go look it up, the word raggie might be a noun

But I actually try and work hard

Even though I get scarred

Every time someone says that

It makes us all sound worse than rats

Whoever says that isn't even trying

They just like to see people crying

I'm shy

Because I don’t want cry

I'm done trying

Frozen

Even though I gave you the secret key

To me

I can still very easily lock you out

Don't you doubt

You have the key but I can change the lock

Then all you would be able to do is walk

Away

Dismay

No one will be able to get in

I'll grin

Every time you fail to get in

I will win

I won't let you see

Me

I'll slam the door

And you'll be crying on the floor

If you declare war

I know how to make a bulletproof door

You won't be able to bribe me out

So you shout

Nothing is getting out or in

No mocking jay pin

Once I'm inside that locked door

I'll soar

I'll run as fast as I can

To where the land

Ends

But that depends

I must keep my storms

Inside more

Maybe that's why people leave

My storm puts them inside a blizzard, I believe

“Conceal don't feel”

That's what I've always done, it's real

The cold of the storm never bothered me anyway

I'll make all the fakes pay

"Let it go"

No!

The door is closed

I'll be completely enclosed

You can't save me

If I don't want to be

Thought Soup

Honey don’t listen to them all

Don’t let yourself fall

Just keep doing what you were doing

The dream of life keep on pursuing

Don’t fucking stop

Pull out of that garbage smelling parking lot

Don’t let go

Keep moving even if it is slow

I know you sweetheart, you always make it

Keep that fire inside of you lit

Don’t let it go out

Cry your heart into a drought

Come on, love pull yourself out, now more than ever

You are definitely clever

Run you clever girl

Stop believing that you aren't a pearl

Just keep on your feet

Let the future uncurl, I promise it will end up feeling complete

Don’t ever let them force you to sit

One thing about you that amazes me is that you always make it

I know that this isn't what you think, I know it all seems like a mess

But you'll make it don’t think any less

You, have no clue

How much I believe in you

You will find a reason for that pain

Sorry I won’t explain

It will be a great surprise

You have the ability to see through lies

That perfectly terrible loop

Your brain right now is, thought soup

Just another bump in the road

You can take the heavy load

I am the future yet at the same time the past

That desert of the darkness is very vast

But "the best way out is always through"

So for now just make do

Buried Deep

Die

Survive

Die

Survive

It's already buried deep down there

I hide it behind a secret glare

"Maybe someday we'll talk"

Could you just take a walk?

Fuck off

Step off

I'm fine

What I'm thinking is all mine

Tell? Never

Whatever

I'm fine I tried to portray

Just go away

Why must you ask every time?

The answer is always going to be no, and that I'm fine

The more you bring it up the more I'm going to think

I don't want to think about it, tears no longer on the brink

It's all over and done

It's buried all the way, just leave it, if you get pushier trust me I'll run

Some relationships I don't want to mend

That hand don't lend

It's been too long

What's wrong?

I'll never tell

It's already buried deep in a well

You've said that you've been there

And everywhere

But you don't know

Just go

You wouldn't get it

But it's already buried in a pit

In your office, pure,

Adrenaline, you'll never know what I endure

In there my mask 

Will always last

I'll never tell, clenched teeth

It's already buried beneath

Just give it up

Because I'll never throw it up

Solid living death

Forever hold my breath

Fake Friends

Why are you whispering behind my back?

Intelligence is what you lack

Are you too scared of me?

Baby?

Why are you doing this to me?

Why can’t you just let me be?

Where did you go?

You should know

Our friendship was growing strong

What you are doing is wrong

No one gives a shit

Go die in a pit

What happened to you?

You are now making me extremely blue

What did I do to you?

To make you go

So now you have made me go this low

I hope you’re happy now

Your ego is getting to be as fat as a cow

You should be nice to others as your way to the top because they are the ones you’ll see on your way down

I hope you bought a nice gown

You're the one who's going to need it most

At least I don’t boast

Unlike you

I'm going to start new

Without you

The Caged Bird

Waking up trapped

In a room all alone

Behind all the windows there is

Cold stone

That doesn't only contain me but my soul

I yell for help but no one even answers

Yet I hear people out there

I find a violin

I don’t even know how to play

But I know I must

It’s all I've got

At least it frees my mind

I now march to the beat of my own violin

I can control it

Don’t let your walls ever hold you back

There is more than one way to break them down

You’ll know when it’s right

When you find someone with the same beat

And they play it for you,

Outside your wall

Too bad you’ll never see him

But you can see his heart is true and made of gold

Yours is stone like your walls

You both play for each other

And just wish

Why were you born with walls?

Then you remember…

They protect you from everything

But they also hold everything good out too

It’s time they come down

But I've built them too strong

I'm trapped and it’s my fault!

Please don't leave

I tell you not to

But I can’t truly stop you

I hope you realize that I'm trying

I'm not lying

I want to teach you how to fight

With all your might

Don’t let the inside voices take over

You’re my four leaf clover

You can do this

Sorry my advice might be amiss

You are strong

No I'm not wrong

I can see it in you

This you can get through

I'm always here

You are going to have to face the mirror

That I know you hate

You might want to pay more attention to your gait

You can tell a lot about a person just by looking at the way they walk

Don’t let those voices talk

Duck tape

Just anything so you can escape

You I believe in

You have my special mocking jay pin

Trust me I know what it’s like

That long, lonely, dark hike

I'm having my own problems too

I've got you

Please don’t leave

When you do I greave

How I want to save you, Kim

But I'm just too weak to go out on that extra shaky limb

I believe that, that battle is yours

You'll find the other doors

People all say that we’re safe and sound

But our little worlds go round and round

Don’t leave like that

Because then I can’t tell you to look out for that black cat

After that I'm no use

I can’t slip you out of that noose

Just don’t leave

Then there’s nothing to achieve

You are important

At the moment we’re just dormant

But we will someday come alive

Just give it five

Five what? you may ask

Life is sometimes a hard task

But you have me

If you would just believe

Take the leap

Have faith that it isn’t so deep

I beg you just please don’t leave

The Cliff Hanger

I’m hanging on like a cliff hanger

Just hanging on and just hoping against odds

But you learn to pull yourself up and at least sit on the branch

But it sways in the wind

So you hang on and try your best not to fall

If you do it’s all over

No second chances

No forgiveness for trying so hard

So hard not to just jump

It’s getting tempting

It seems easier just ending it

But you just keep fighting

That’s all you've ever done

You think it will just end anyway

You might slip

Your hands are getting extremely tired and sweaty

But you’re used to it

You teach yourself how to walk on the small branch

You start to trust it

You shouldn't though

But it’s all you've got

You just want to be saved

But you know that’s highly unlikely

You lose hope

You want to climb the cliff

It’s straight up

Or straight down if you fall

One way trip

Will you make it?

You try to grab the side of the cliff

It falls out of your hand as debris

And dust because you have been there for so long…

And yet longer…

No help!

You start screaming

All you hear are your echo’s

You know it’s no use to hold on anymore

You jump

You feel so free

You like the feeling of flying

Your stomach in your throat

You haven’t done anything like this in at least a year

You see the bottom getting closer

You can’t wait for it to end…

A Chip In The Dip

Just another chip lost in the dip

The second half of the broken chip

No one’s favorite

Always picked last

Salty tears I cry                   (cuz I'm a chip lol)

I want to get out of the thick ocean

But I'm stuck

No going back now

Everyone sees me

But they won’t help me

I'm oh so blue

Slowly sinking more and more under

The thunder of the storm grows louder

It surrounds me

I hate the coolness but start to like it

It gives me a false comfort that I like

I like taking a risk in it

Now it has me all the way under

I'm drowning

It hurts less than I expected

I see it getting darker as I sink

But it hypnotizes me

I like sinking

I see everyone else swimming

I like being under it’s like I know a secret that they don’t

They can’t see you because you’re under so far

I have lost most of my salt so I sink yet further

The ocean makes it feel like I'm on top of the world flying

But I'm just the opposite but I don’t care

No one can save me now

But I like that, it makes you feel free of everyone

I wish that one certain person could save me

They think they did one other time but they didn’t

You think I’ll be perfectly fine again, but what if I never was?

I screamed for help once but you didn’t listen as I walked away

I need them

How dare you leave me like this?

I think you owe me an apology yet the world still owes me nothing

You think you cleaned my slate for me but you didn’t

Instead you scratched it up

You think nothing of it

But you don’t know half of it

I just want you to hold me, with your gentle fingers and warm me with the kindhearted words you speak

Sorry I just get scared and lonely just like you

Please heal my stone turned heart

It’s been broken from a young age

Living day to........day, broken

I've almost hit the bottom of the almost infinite ocean

I want to be in the sky

The sky is infinite

I hope you realize that what goes up doesn’t always come back down

Angles started from the ground and they stay in the sky

I want to be there

Save me if you care

I hope you’ll be there forever

Forever not never

Shadow Girl

Broken,

No one knows

No one cares

No one can see my depressed shadow

But that shadow is mine and it’s the other half of me

It is taking over

My hallow, dark inside, body makes a shadow

Please stop walking on my shadow and thinking nothing of it

You think stomping on it is funny

But you don’t realize that, that is me

I want to put a cast on my broken shadow but I can’t because it moves with me and is always behind me

You fall for the fake smiles and laughs in the front but you forget to look in the back

If anyone really did love me they would look in the back and try to control it

They would try their best to stop and conquer it

The sun only brings out my shadow more

I hate the sun

I like rainy dark days

I like the feeling but I hate it at the same time