Inside

The Ice Is Breaking

The ice is breaking

Time is something that I’d rather be stealing than be taking

I need to run but I'm frozen

The ice has chosen

The ice shall win I shall lose

Out of this dilemma I want to cruise

That's what those boots were for!

Why didn't I ask about them before I went out the door?

My feet hurt

Underneath my feet I long to feel the dirt

Stuck

I should have listened to the ugly duck

Who else would be out on this lake?

I'm going to die in white snowflakes

I just have to survive tonight

Never would have imagined this plight

I don't have much of a choice

No one’s around to hear my voice

At least I have my phone

I'm bitter and cold to the bone

I would text her but it’s just too far

The WiFi wont reach her star

I hear the ice cracking

Senselessly the cold is smacking

Inside I'm freaking out

The ice will hold me I doubt

I don't feel good I think as I cough

This lake I want off

I need someone

Who's strong and young

I fall and I now want the numb ice off my back

It seems like the ice likes to attack

I start to feel tired from fighting

A way, I see the stars lighting

I start to feel warm

I suddenly want to stay awake, I’m just torn

Soon I’ll pay the price

That ice didn't need to roll that dice

Splash

No ash

Pages

I don’t know what love is

I just can’t wrap my head around it

Like the size of the universe

Love makes people do crazy things, but it just usually makes me curse

How could you not lose hope and keep lining up shells?

Because of love

I am third wheeling it

And it’s lonely

But not for the lovers, only

They are unconsciously awake

Let’s travel

And get a plane ticket

To a place where our hearts don’t feel heavy with atmosphere

Dear,

Let’s start again

Even if I feel like a spring…

Stressed out

Is how I work

Otherwise

I just sit on my ass instead of taking to the skies

I need to get away to any other place

A new reality where I will not be a sad tragedy

But will have a happily ever after

Filled with much laughter

Because any other place has got to be better  

I currently live in a deep cave of a library, that’s full of empty dreams

I stare at the ceiling as I scream with laryngitis

And I feel the shelves towering over me, all around

I'm a story that someone forgot to put down

And I just want to be put on the shelf

Sometimes it seems like I can see the most clearly when I am blinded by tears

Because that’s when I'm not avoiding my feelings

It’s like I am able to see the lopsided way the world moves

The inner working grooves

That are so complicatingly simple

I wonder not when, but if the pieces will ever fall together

Being the mismatching misfit that I am

I don’t know if I am a puzzle that can be put together; maybe I was made wrong

All along,

A factory mishap

I want you to hold me as close as pages of a book that are bound to the spine

Because maybe

You could force and weld pieces of me together and get readjusted

As I fall apart and become more rusted

Like the tin man  

I have a heart

I just don’t like to let on to that,

It’s actually not stone cold at all

It’s quite the opposite

It’s all mushy and squishy

I Want To Go Home

Trapped in my room that is myself,

Due to avoidance

Of

Feeling like and impostor in the house I live in

I know that I don’t belong

But I have nowhere else to go

I want to go home

But home is nothing more than a concept,

That I imagine in only my dreams

It’s hard to go home

When,

I haven’t discovered where home is

This is why I want to travel the world

When I'm out of school

And when I have enough money

I want to find a home

In someone's arms

Or I could find a home in my life

There is more than one way home

There are plenty of different roads

That will lead to destiny

So I'm going to keep calling everything home

Until it feels right

And only then I shall settle down

So take my bloated belly home

Because this house isn't working with the people living in it

Let's go home

Day Dream

I day dream because I accidentally woke up today

When reality struck noon

I was soon,

Met with what other people say

Being the drama queens that they are

They made a small thing into a big deal

And now I feel

Less than par

I'm also annoyed

With Jay

Because he has a hard time seeing things my way

It seems that he likes to avoid,

Putting himself in my shoes

As I do his

Give us a quiz

And I know who would lose

During school

He was my favorite subject to study

But now he has made my shoes all muddy

He insecurely lives on gender roles like a fool

And it messes with my side

Of knowing that I don’t need a guy

To protect me from my

Nonexistent fear of getting pied

But at the same time of being annoyed

I like being together

All cuddled up in the blankets of bad weather

And a bolt of cuteness you created for me and destroyed

I crave you

And your touch

So much

That I wish I could wear you like and outfit of blue

Its hard to be in love with the earth

When there are so many things wrong with it

Sometimes it just rains shit

And I don’t feel very full of mirth

I daydream like Walter Mitty

Because it makes life way more fun

Than it actually is when you're on the run,

In the ghetto city

Let’s Start A Riot

Unpenetratable silence

Every movement amplified

But it's just because it's quiet

Can we silently start a riot? It's quiet enough to hear a pin drop 

You can hear people breathe

But that's because it's quiet

Can we please start a riot? Every move of this pencil sounds like it hurts

Trillions of graphite atoms screaming

My imagination goes crazy when it's too quiet

For my sanity, someone start a riot Or at least start talking

Tapping your foot would do

To stop the awkward quiet

Get us out of here so lead a riot When I'm alone, battling on my own

I want to listen to music for the illusion,

That it is not quiet

So I don't start a riot Music and words keep me sane

When I can no longer go,

Into the anxiety provoking quiet

Music and poetry are my silent riot

Ends Are Beginnings

Ends are sometimes beginnings I need to get myself out of here Ends are the reflections of beginnings, it’s a simple mirror Is everything the same? Dead in the hall of lame Right now you and I are in between the beginning and the middle My bones are snapping, crackling and are brittle I need to know, what’s on the other side? For now I’ll let it slide Slide down my back, off my feet What is complete? Is it fullness of the heart? Or a lucky throw of the dart This reflection is not me, I’m lost But life is still well worth it’s cost So here I go and venture into the middle Me myself and I; piano, guitar and fiddle My one and only crew Some find me and my inanimate, music playing objects, infectious like the flu Just a lucky throw of the dart Is it fullness of the heart? My one and only crew Some find me and my inanimate music playing objects infectious like the flu Then on some days I find myself in between the middle and the end At writing I’m not that great, not to offend But life is still well worth it’s cost This reflection is not me, I’m lost I need a lucky throw of the dart Is it fullness of the heart? What is complete? Slide down my back, off my feet For now I’ll let it slide I need to know, what’s on the other side? Then I find myself in the end Things don’t always break sometimes they bend Dead in the hall of lame Is everything the same? Beginnings are the reflections of ends, it’s a simple mirror I need to get myself out of here Beginnings are sometimes ends

First One About You

Theater is life

Someone kept stealing my lines though…

Soooo…

How’s the weather?

Its ever changing, wasn't that clever?   How was school?

Did anything interesting happen?

No answer, oh he was just napp’n

This isn't awkward, it’s just weird

I think this is what I feared   I know that you have a crush

But I don’t know anyone

Can’t you just be gone?

I'm just scared

Because you care   I like to be alone

I'm single

I don’t want a boy to break my heart like a pringle

I've been hurt so many times

You would know if you read all of my rhymes   Can you take me?

Am I ready for a big jump?

Should I prepare for another painful heart thump?

I think that your crush is just lust

Right now your love I don’t really trust   Hey.

Do you even know the difference between lust and love?

I want to try you on and see if you fit like a glove

Sometimes I do get lonely

Maybe all of you is just baloney   I should get my head straightened out

Are you the one?

Should we become Suan?

I need to stop making jokes out of your name

For now I'm glad you came   Do you really want this?

Do you want this terribly stubborn mess

Don’t expect anymore, or any less

If I could just make up my mind

Boy, you seem kind   Thanks to Facebook

You said, “Hi”

What if you ever saw me cry?

Baby

Maybe someday you'll save me   I still remember that time

When you were telling a mini story

In all your glory

When you pulled me off the couch, I was a sour lime

But you asked, “Babe can you please be mine?”

Anxious Anxiety

I want anxiety to be anxious of me

I will hold my ground without being an earthquake myself

I will stand still and strong; there will be no such thing as a shaking knee

When the time comes I will weigh so much you will not move me with anything

Beating the ill out of illnesses; it will be the one in need of an amputee

I want depression to be happy for me

Everything should watch out for me because here I come

I might look cute but that’s just my disguise

“I’m a nightmare dressed like a daydream” I hum

There’s strong and then there’s Taylor strong

I am the cherry bomb

No longer will I fall into your guilt trap

Not everyone is there for you and sometimes you are alone

But I don’t need anyone when I have myself; if you think otherwise you’re thinking crap!

I’m writing this cheese for my future self to not cut

You like tigers so don’t be a donkey without a tail

Don’t forget that you’re hungry for success

Don’t forget that it is good to fail

I think you learn more and go farther in life,

When you are done fixing the hole in dear Henry’s pail

I am a train chugging on broken tracks and I love it

With my emo black boots it feels like I can go anywhere in the world

It keeps me interested in where I am going to go and where I’ll find that I fit

I can’t stay curled

I cannot stay still and sit

Fire

Burning, tired anger

What am I doing with this stranger?

The world on fire, is a danger

Let it burn My existence is a shout into the void

I came out irritated and annoyed

Talking and joking just to avoid,

The fact that the world is on fire Live and burn

It’s always my turn

Why can’t I learn?

It’s because I’m trying not to catch a fire Teachers make me fail

Dietitians make me eat lousy kale

I’ll never stop listening to the storm with the hail

In order to mute the crackle of the flame I don’t need saving

But the charred roads need a new paving

But for Sara I’ll try to keep braving

I’m not brave; I’m just immune to the burn I can’t send mail

I think I’m made out of puppy dog tails

Not sugar and spices that you can buy in pails

Red, orange, yellow, blue Where are you mystery one?

The world is now the sun

Living in hell with no where to run

What moment did the world catch fire?

Myself

The reason I may look like a party pooper or down

Is because when I used to walk up to people and tell them my name they would give me a frown

They wouldn't say anything so I would walk away

Then I would see them sneaking peaks at me and laughing, but someday...

I would go sit away from them on the concrete wall

Or I would get a basketball

And shoot hoops all by myself

I put my high hopes on a shelf

Sometimes when I would make a hoop someone would run up to me

And kick the ball away, then laugh at my plea

For peace

I was the one who tried hard with elbow grease

But now I just go sit there anyway

To save myself from all the pain

That's why I don't go up to people and tell them my name

I just always ended up ashamed

Ashamed to be me

Whatever I did they laughed at

Someday hopefully they will realize that

They were all the bitches

That should die in ditches

Sorry I just wish I could make them pay

And that still happens to me today

Even in high school

People think making fun of me is “cool”

Why are they so cruel?

I hate going there

Because most people don't care

And they say that there are only raggies in this town

I bet you don’t know that word, go look it up, the word raggie might be a noun

But I actually try and work hard

Even though I get scarred

Every time someone says that

It makes us all sound worse than rats

Whoever says that isn't even trying

They just like to see people crying

I'm shy

Because I don’t want cry

I'm done trying