Latest Posts by tacticalpizzaoven - Page 5

Empakaai is very fun to play :]

Every once in a while I get this notification on my HUD Left 4 Dead style and then my notifications become unusable for several days

it was funny

(checks latest posts)

...so have you recently been thinking about Men?

:p

My aro ace ass will say yes tentatively. One friend in particular

oh so that's why my fyp was like that

i must've liked one of them

(checks latest posts)

...so have you recently been thinking about Men?

:p

My aro ace ass will say yes tentatively. One friend in particular

In your opinion, what is the most fuckable Lancer frame?

Dusk Wing, windmill slam.

Now some Lanceblrs are probably gonna call me a basic bitch, but let me explain my reasoning here.

Now I'm a monsterfucker. I like fucking monsters. And we can all talk about fantasies and shit but if I'm gonna take a mech's dick - and I am, I'm the bottom in this scenario and I'm planting my flag right now - it needs to be Size 1/2. I'm sorry, but no human body is capacious enough to accept the schlong of a Size 1 mech. I don't care if you've been training on Chance XLs your entire adult life, the GMS Standard-Pattern Size 1 fuckpole is meant for mechs of its own size class only. My pelvic floor would disintegrate upon touching it. It's a non-starter. Size 1/2s only.

Unfortunately, this restriction leaves me with a distressingly small stable of viable mechs, some of which are instant disqualifications.

The Caliban is right out the window, immediately. It's not a machine intended to be an image of man fucking large. It was never meant to thrust across the battlefield erotically to affect a greater orgasm. It is a tool designed to kill human beings very, very quickly. The Caliban is married to the job, and the only ejaculations it produces are 8-gauge buckshot. I'm going to confidently put it down as asexual. Also, the awkward arrangement of its hips would produce deeply inadequate thrusting.

The Kobold is clearly into BDSM, and specifically, waxplay. The Kobold likes to cause you erotic pain by dripping molten fluids all over your naked, trembling body, and don't get me wrong, that's hot - but we're talking like 900 degrees hot. I want my body to burn with forbidden passion, not to actually catch fire because it's covered in superheated chemicals that shouldn't ever touch. Besides, their spiky carapace feels like it would be a problem for some of the positions I want to try.

The Napoleon and I actually dated once and it didn't go very well at all so he's right out.

Now you'd think on first glance that the Atlas is the perfect fuckbuddy - anthroform, roughly the correct height, weight and shape, and possessed of those athletic, muscular arms that can just pin you down while going to town on you. That's all well and good, but he's so painfully boring. All he ever wants to do is fuck missionary, and his idea of aftercare is watching Demon Slayer. I can't. I just can't.

The Goblin wouldn't return my calls. After the third try, it just texted me this:

0S1R1Smaxx1ng: girl fuck off harrison iii just added me to a group chat

Now, that leaves the Dusk Wing, which fortunately for us presents several advantages.

Firstly: hands. Six of them (at bare minimum). You know how hot it is to be pinned to the wall by your wrists, your ankles and STILL get your tits and ass groped? Those hands are dextrous and surprisingly gentle, and when those fingers go in your mouth, you can bite down hard without hurting your jaw or chipping your teeth.

Secondly: comfort. The Dusk Wing is based off of old EVA hardsuit designs, built for ergonomics, so a lot of its non-armored sections are made out of flexible polymer that doesn't chafe against your skin. The armored sections are smooth composite. There's no spurs or spikes, no jagged or protruding elements, and no crush hazards. Heat rejection systems mostly point backwards from the mech, which might be a problem if I wanted to be on top, but we've already established I don't.

Thirdly: memetics. I'm an absolute freak for mind control, and the Dusk Wing can make me feel like I'm being fucked by sixteen of itself at once. It can squeeze my tongue and whisper its name to me and make me feel like me and it are the only things in the entire universe. It can show me myself climaxing over and over and over and over and over and over.

I hope this excessively answers your question.

Harrison Armory finally presents its Year of the Snake ensemble. Security Captain Valentina Santoso makes a rare return to Ras Shamra, dressed in an outfit that conveys both her military standing and minor celebrity status among the core territories of Harrison Armory. For better or worse, all HA rank and file know The Dirty Worker.

The brief sojourn has her in uncommonly good spirits, she's here to review the results of the Armory's new prototype frame—the Gustav. The return signifies changes in the year to come. New equipment, new assignments, and most importantly for Santoso Company, new enemies.

yeah that's

that's pretty much it

been getting into lancer lately

is this the genghis experience

I approve of powerscaling discourse only in utterly senseless contexts. I don't give a shit about which shōnen protagonists could beat up which other shōnen protagonists, but I will 100% read your five thousand word essay exploring the subtle nuances of establishing a tiered ranking of the Smurfs.

Guilty Gear: Dual Rulers (2025)

Shout out to all the Black ppl that can no longer participate directly in the fandom they love because of the stresses of racism 👍🏾 you contain multitudes of value and I'm sorry that the color of your skin and the power of your voice makes people not want to acknowledge that.

hey so it’s march now aka the beginning of endometriosis awareness month and i feel obligated to remind you that debilitatingly painful periods are not normal. if you or someone you know is ending up sick or bedridden every month, you are not crazy and deserve medical attention from someone who will take you seriously

happy ides of march

stolen off instagram but i laughed so hard when i saw this

Venom is back and still gay.

Okay so Silk & Dagger seems to be selling pretty well and it has definitely breached markets that Eureka has not which is awesome, I know this because I have been getting tumblr asks about it from people who have never read Eureka.

At the time of writing this, March 12th 2025, we have made $605 total and still need to make about $1,050 in income this month to stay alive, so here's hoping we can make that in the next 20 days or so. If you can lend us your financial support, please do so, and if you can't, you can still help a ton by reblogging our posts, talking about us, and downloading our games.

We have a ko-fi and patreon too.

hold on let me turn on my megaphone

ahem

THE EMPAKAAI

lancer rpg fans pls lmk your fav mech from there or the fandom favorite because i REALLY want to draw one but ive never played it or been in the fandom ever at all

Drawing a Lancer frame: fun! creative freedom bc all frames look unique (Personalizations + Custom Paint Job)! so long as it has its signature weapon, it should be recognizable!

Drawing a Gundam frame: If I misplace a singular panel on this sonofabitch, Bandai is going to descend from the heavens and smite me.

yang again lolz

i know what you are

^ he knows too

i also know

Have you played LANCER ?

By Miguel Lopez and Tom Parkinson Morgan

15,000 years in the future, a post-post-apocalyptic humanity has begun to colonize the stars, re-connecting with civilizations founded by ancient escapees from Earth and creating new empires. Amid kings, culture clash, and powerful corporation-states, "Lancers" pilot infinitely customizable mechs in the fight for a new future.

You can only reblog this today.

Random thought: SSC is probably like, absurdly low-key ableist

How is bnha anime of the decade...... they aren’t even anime of the hour of the minute of the second