I scrub and scrub until my body bleeds, convince myself I'm coming clean, forget and ignore who I used to be. That kid is never coming back.
135 posts
Latest Posts by tatemcallisterr-blog - Page 4
theprodigalsoldier:
god, he was tired. after a long overnight shift, his whole body ached with weariness. it wasn’t anything like the long overnighters in the military. but it didn’t mean it was particularly fun or easy. especially tonight. with a rough domestic violence call, with kids involved. he was ready to go home. but he was starving. and eating at home meant cooking, and he definitely didn’t have the energy for that. “ hey, daisy, ” jax smiled warmly at the waitress behind the counter he knew too well after so many early mornings. “ steak and eggs? with sweet potato fries. to-go, please. and a black tea. thanks, darlin’. ” he was about to sit down, waste time on his phone, when he saw tate. looking just as exhausted as he felt. “ i can grab you one if ya really want. but you look like you need a nap more than caffeine, ” he pointed out, gentle and understanding as he sat across from his old friend. “ hey, man. rough night? ”
At the sound of a familiar voice in response to his request Tate looked up to meet Jaxon’s gaze. He was right, but there was no way he was going to get any sleep more at this point in the day. It might as well be noon Tate-time. Jaxon had always been able to read him. Although it wasn’t that hard right now to tell that Tate was exhausted. Between the bags under his eyes and the mess of hair he hadn’t bothered to comb through before he left the house, it was clear he had just rolled out of bed and come to the diner. Tate shook his head slowly letting out a sigh. “Thought you were the waitress.” He replied, setting his fork down as Jaxon took a seat across from him. His gaze moved to his plate at Jaxon’s question, staring at the barely eaten contents momentarily before he answered. “Just couldn’t sleep is all.” He shrugged, looking back up at his friend.
Tate McAllister moodboard 001
“Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.” - Norman Cousins
It was early, even for Tate. But after another night of restless sleep he thought maybe some food would take his mind off things and help him relax a little bit. So he sat at his favorite twenty-four hour diner, pushing the food around on his plate with his fork absentmindedly more than he was actually eating any of it. He had a million things on his mind since he had gotten back home three months ago. Losing his mother, his injury, the end of his career in the marines --- it was all a lot for him to handle in a short amount of time. Rubbing his sleep filled eyes he could hear someone approach him, and just assumed it was his waitress checking in on him for the one hundredth time since he had sat down forty-five minutes ago. “Just another cup of coffee, please.” He muttered.
It hurts to fake a smile, but I do it anyway to prove that I’m stronger than I really am. To prove that I still exist.
The pain is still unbearable sometimes // littlemissimaginary (via wnq-writers)
I used to punch walls until my knuckles bled because I was filled with rage and anger, now I punch walls until they bleed just to fucking feel something, or to at least try.
(via joellewritcs)
I punched a wall. And then I punched it a few more times. It was the first time I felt anything all day.
(via 50shades-of-you-and-i)
I just feel so angry, all the time. What if after everything that I’ve been through, something’s gone wrong inside me?
J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (via slyherin)
People who think I don’t already “pick my battles” greatly underestimate the number of potential battles in my path on a daily basis.
My poor mother begged for a sheep but raised a wolf.
Michelle K., Four Rhythms. (via paralvman)
I’ve lost too many people and too much faith to give a fuck.
Hedonist Poet (via hedonistpoet)
I look young But inside I am old And filled with the deaths Of other people.
(via hailthequeens)
