Hopper: Got any drugs or alcohol on you?
Eddie: Yup, I'm all set! Thanks, officer.
Please take a minute to read our story in Gaza, after I lost my home for the third time, we lost our work, and we are in a tragic situation.
This sums up my daughter's situation with her four siblings. She cannot continue living without your help. Donate, share the story and send it to your friends. Any small amount helps save my children's lives, share now on your account.
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The campaign has been verified by Nabulsi
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What horrifying new social rules are the kids inventing now
"that character isn't trans" well they are now and no one can stop me
Hannibal s1e1 "Apéritif" | s3e13 "The Wrath of the Lamb"
Will going on and on about something he's pissed off about, and when Hannibal just stares he's like "not gonna say anything??" and he just squints and goes "I'm going to fuck you in this kitchen counter right now" very serious. 100% this happened, this is canon.
HANNIBAL + Text Posts 29/∞
thank you anon for this hilarious ask.
Hannibal (2013-2015)
3x07 || 3x09
After shoving Hansel in the oven, the witch turns to Gretel - who is currently fending the witch off with a gingerbread chair - and says:
“I can’t believe you thought a trail of breadcrumbs would save you. I mean, honestly, this is a forest! It’s full of animals. Honestly, the very idea that a dumb shit like you thought you could get the better of me is absurd.”
Gretel hits her in the face with said chair. To be fair to the witch, she takes the chairshot like a champ.
“Ow!”
“Did you know,” says Gretel, “that crows are capable of facial recognition?”
“Eh?” Says the witch, clambering to her feet and pulling a candy cane sledgehammer off the wall. “What’s that got to do with anything?”
“Not only that,” Gretel continues, “but they can remember both friends and enemies. And they’ll often follow people they remember as friends.”
The two fence with their sugared weapons for a moment, before the witch knocks the chair out of Gretel’s hands.
“Enough with the bird facts! Honestly, this whole attempted escape has been utter clownshoes. Get in the fucking oven!”
She seizes Gretel by the collar. Gretel immediately sandbags, letting her whole body go limp. This eminently practical defense forces the witch to try and deadlift her. Which is hard, as the witch often skips leg day.
“For example,” Gretel says, as the witch struggles and grunts, “if you feed crows a lot of breadcrumbs, they’ll probably start to see you as a friend and follow you in the hope of more food.”
The witch stops. Outside, she hears the thunder of wings.
“They’ll even bring you shiny things they find as presents!” Says Gretel, as a corner of the gingerbread ceiling is suddenly cut away by a large crow with a knife in its mouth.
“Oh shitballs.” Says the witch, as the crows descend. “I hope you know this is a great unkindness.”
“Technically,” Says Gretel, “It’s a murder.”
*Hannibal season one*
Hannibal: omg this crime is sooo horrible, I can’t believe someone could do this. Dearest Will, my pookie bear, my honeyfly, my boo boo bear, what do you think of monster who did this? Tell me what you think of him my lovely dove.
Will: *minecraft zombie noise* uhhraggg
Can we talk about how chaotic Narnian battles would feel?? Especially in Prince Caspian. Like, imagine you’re a little Telmarine soldier waiting for the catapults to go and you’ve got all your regiments in nice orderly rows and these two 16 year olds suddenly yell “charge” and the ground opens up beneath you, a mouse with a sword the size of a large pencil takes out your bestie, a griffin drops a dwarf 5 ft away from you and he comes up swinging. As you try to rationalize this, you’re stabbed by a twelve year old with a British accent. Finally, a really freaking big lion shows up, roars, and your entire army collectively pees their pants. At one point in the movie (yes I know the movies aren’t quite the same as the book but they’re still good) Peter says like “we have the element of surprise” like dude, you have drafted the trees I’m pretty sure everyone’s gonna be surprised no matter what.
He/Him. Autistic and chronically ill. Bisexual bitch. 24. MDNI. Proship and dead dove friendly. Welcome, fellow freaks! (Harringrove, Drarry, Wangxian, Steddie, etc.)
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