“are You Mad At Me?” “do You Still Like Me?” “are You Sure You’re Not Mad At Me?”

the 'wow you're so emotionally mature for your age!' to having the I can't regulate my emotions disorder pipeline is real

Bpd culture is shutting yourself down again because you relearned that whenever you speak up for yourself and defend yourself and explain your bpd symptoms everyone always finds a way turn it into you being the asshole so you regress back to being a palatable opinionless doormat because at least your friends didn't wanna leave you then

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i have tourettes where I say sudden funny things but never any slurs because I am good boy 😇 I have OCD but not the one that makes me really concerned about piss and shit but the movie one that makes me line things up properly nice and neat because I am a good boy 😇 I have bipolar but not the one that makes me act embarrassingly in public because I am on the highest point of a downward curving emotional pendulum swing, but the one that makes me creative af via safely utilizing my tendency towards extreme emotions in my art (because I am a good boy 😇) I have autism but it's the one like from the movies where I'm good at math or being a detective, and not the one that makes other people hate me so bad they want to kill me because I am annoying to them. because I am a good boy 😇 I have schizophrenia too but I also don't, because somehow in the cultural lexicon no one who has schizophrenia is a good boy and there is rarely a stylistic bullshit depiction of the condition, but I'm still a good boy 😇 society knows this. society knows this.

tw vent submission

suspected BPD + self-evaluated AudHD culture is finally getting the courage to cut off your (suspected) FP after repeatedly having your boundaries disregarded and allowing your own mental health to deteriorate for the sake of preserving theirs and STILL having moments of soul-crushing guilt, paranoia, and anxiety despite knowing it was for the best. it's feeling like such a fool and feeling like you should've seen the red flags sooner. it's realizing just how unfair it was that you were held to a more strict standard in the relationship than they were and splitting on them because you feel so betrayed. it's breaking down multiple times because you feel like you're just giving up on them and maybe they'll finally change after you showed them the damage they caused you. it's being so scared and paranoid about even sending in asks to talk about this because what if they see this and retaliate against me for cutting them off and speaking about this publicly even if anonymously? it's being unable to focus because of the overwhelming amount of emotions you're feeling at one time. it's struggling to reach out to those who are supporting you because you don't want to be a bother.

-🌻

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BPD culture is never being able to tell who is the toxic one in any of your relationships because it is always assumed you are the bad one.

can everyone be nice to me forever

BPD (+ NPD) is being upset when no one else replies to you on (website) even though your fp will LITERALLY smother her selfish partner (literally selfish not just "grr bpd") with attention when they ask for it.

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bpd culture is changing your entire personality and aesthetic based on a character you relate to or just some random person you thought was cool because you don’t know who the fuck you are

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BPD CULTURE IS wishing that non-bpd people would understand how 90% of what people consider to be "manipulative behavior" from us is literally just.. us expressing emotions. Me expressing how I feel guilty for being so draining and apologizing for how I behave on bad days (ex: ghosting, or meltdowns) is not so I can win your affection or pity, it's literally just so I can explain how I feel in a way that you can understand me better..

It gets so tiring when everytime I try to express my own guilt and shame about my disorder I get accused of "guilt tripping" "manipulating" or "being attention seeking" instead of actually being recognized for how I feel.

Like, c'mon guys.. I'm a person too.. I'm allowed to be sad and feel lonely and feel guilty and I should deserve the same comfort/to be heard as much as someone without BPD 🥲

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