How R U Gonna Call Them Love Handles And Then Try To Convince Ppl Thats A Bad Thing. Insane To Me

Spot the difference: impossible addition

My freshman year attempt at the newsies jump. (the preschoolers next to us got excited after I was on the ground for a while)

Spot: I have the sharpest memory. Name one thing I’ve forgotten.

Race: You forgot me and Albert in the Walmart parking lot 3 days ago.

Spot: That was on purpose. Try again.

gay men who don’t acknowledge trans men as actual men

reblog and put in the tags: your star sign, a song that you’ve been listening to a lot lately, your favourite colour, your thoughts on cows, and your favourite season!

Crutchie: I think that the difference between us is that you like cars, whereas I wouldn’t know the difference between a Ford and a Honda if they both ran me over.

Mike; what if our phones worked like the magic mirror from Snow White?

Ike: Siri Siri on my phone, how the fuck do I get home?

*At the doctor’s office*

Romeo: Any news?

Doctor: Just waiting for your x-ray.

Romeo: But I’ve never dated anyone named ray.

Doctor:

Doctor: And we might do a brain scan as well.

Garfield is a gigachad.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk