The-harperbaddock - (False) Bravado

safiyeece​:

As the closest friend Safiye had, Harper saw more of her than anyone else, more of her humor and more of her frustration. It was always a relief when she could sip wine with Harper and mock the more farcical aspects of her life. Somehow it was never depressing to think about the more frustrating parts of her life with Safiye was with Harper like it was when she was alone. The other woman’s presence, and her understanding was everything to Safiye.

She listened to Harper’s story with increasingly wide eyes, enjoying the show as Harper reenacted the whole episode from her day. Safiye shook her head at a few key moments in the story, just enough to keep Harper going, and when they finally reached the story’s conclusion Safiye threw her head back and laughed. It was the perfect vignette to make Safiye feel better about her own life. The absurdity of the whole situation belonged in the most elite pureblood parlor, shared by the women who truly did believe that the whole world, right down to the flowers, should bow to their whims and tastes.

When Harper asked about the meeting she’d attended, Safiye rolled her eyes and took a fortifying drink of wine. Then, she sat up straight in her most perfect Pureblood Princess posture. “Oh yes, we were very productive. First, we spent a good hour congratulating ourselves on just how simply wonderful our last event was, and yet after all that time I’m still not sure what exactly the event was, other than exquisite. We wrapped up the meeting by bemoaning the upcoming auction for the Society for the Upkeep of Wizarding Historical Artifacts and how we cannot possibly hope to outdo Marya Warrington at our next event.” Safiye settled back against the sofa and sighed. “So it was precisely the usual.”

-

“Oh how lovely!” Harper enthused, honeyed voice and widened eyes. “Every event simply must be more exquisite than the last!” she let out an un-ladylike snicker, interrupting her impression. She was glad that she could make Safiye laugh; she hated to see her friend so tense and frustrated. Besides, when they exchanged their ridiculous stories and encounters, it allowed Harper to forget about the tension that typically filled the cracks of her everyday life.

And as much as she did enjoy her alone time, she was getting quite lonely. That just made her value the time spent with Safiye even more.

“Technically we could do it, you know,” Harper started, knowing full well that neither of them could actually do what she was about to say.

“We could just pick up for a while and get away from here; galavanting around beautiful and exciting places, meeting new people, doing daring things. You could write your poetry and fall in love; I could…” she trailed off, not sure how she even intended to end her statement. She turned to look at Safiye and shrugged. They sat in a comfortable, if not slightly wistful, silence for a few moments. Harper looked down at her hands, fiddling with the rings on her fingers.

She finished the last of the wine, and, determined to keep the night going and spirits up, looked back to Safiye, her lips curling into a mischievous smirk. “I’m not getting stuck down the sad wine-tipsy road. Not tonight. We need some more fun” With a renewed determination, Harper summoned the drink and dessert menus over to them. “Take your pick,” she told Safiye as she passed one to her. “And you should know that I made sure we put that plum drink you like so much back on this season’s menu”

I opened my mouth, almost said something. Almost. The rest of my life might have turned out differently if I had. But I didn’t.

Khaled Hosseini (via sunsetquotes)

lilyeliora·:

Lily Evans had always  been an animal person. When she was a child, both young and not so young, she was forever rescuing wounded birds and scrawny tomcats from the  streets of Cokeworth, much to her mother’s chagrin and even at times irritation. She’d loved living at Hogwarts surrounded by everyone’s pets, and one of the happiest days of her life was when she adopted Cheshire. She looked forward to the day that she was no longer living in a cramped apartment and was making enough money to adopt a second cat. Until such a time came, she contented herself to window shopping at Magical Menagerie. 

It was, in fact, one of her favorite pastimes, and what she’d planned to do after work today. She was just planning to stand outside the front window for a little while, and maybe go inside to pet a few cats, when she saw another young woman standing in front of the shop. She seemed quite confused, perhaps as to what she was doing there or maybe what she should be doing. Lily watched with blatant curiosity as the woman seemed to have a silent argument with herself, wondering what it was about and what the outcome was. 

In the end, Lily’s curiosity and her sympathy ganged up on her, and she abandoned her previous plan of window shopping in favor of helping this woman with…whatever  it was she was trying to do. She stepped closer until the other woman noticed her and smiled her best, most friendly, patented Lily Evans smile. “Oh no, you’re fine,” Lily shook her head, rejecting the offered apology. “It’s just, you seem a little at a loss. Is there anything I can do to help?” From anyone else, the question might have come off a little snobbish, or impatient, but Lily had a great talent for seeming just as genuine as she was.

-

Caught off-guard by the young woman’s offer to help, Harper did her best to contort the surprise on her face into a smile (internally kicking herself for how awkward she probably looked in the process). “Oh, I just… I, um, I… think I want to adopt a pet?” she eventually managed to blurt out, “But I don’t have much experience with animals. I mean, I saw them around at Hogwarts of course, played with some cats in the common room, and I recall my cousins had a dog growing up, but I’ve never had one, myself,” she quickly added.

Harper was usually a private person, so she didn’t know why she was explaining all this to an unknown person on the street. Although on second thought, Harper seemed to vaguely recognize the girl from school, despite being unable to put a name to her face. Regardless, there was something about the genuine smile and overall vibe that the woman gave off that told Harper she was an animal person; she was someone who should be adopting and caring for an animal (not you, a voice remarkably like her mother’s echoed in her head). It was probably due, in part, to the few subtle strands of cat hair that Harper observed on the other woman’s clothing, but also just how comfortable she seemed around the pet shop; a stark contrast from Harper’s own anxious energy.

“Is this where you adopted your cat from?” Harper asked, trying to prevent too long of a lull in the conversation and move beyond her clumsy introduction.

a world alone / lorde

safiyeece​:

It was always a relief to Safiye to feel known by Harper, even if not fully. She spent so much of her time reflecting back what people expected of her, fighting to live up to high expectations, none higher than her own. So much of her life was a high wire act, it was nice to sit with Harper and just be, and know that Harper saw her, even if she didn’t understand it all.

“I’ll make room whenever you want me, just let me know.” It was not a promise Safiye made lightly. On any given day she had to contend with her mother’s plans for her, any commitments she might have to the Order, and carving out some quiet time for herself, and this rarely left room for impromptu plans.But you made sacrifices for your closest friends, and Safiye was well used to sacrificing for far less.

Safiye hummed in agreement with what Harper was saying, She herself was never able to escape the nagging feeling of lack. Like there was something more out there, something that was waiting for her. It was part of what had driven her to join the Order, and what kept her there, despite being generally unwelcome. Still, even her nighttime vigilante work wasn’t enough. She still felt, as Harper put it, stalled.

She chuckled at Harper’s question. Knowing it was all in good fun she still considered it seriously. “Well, five years after a horrible tragedy is probably around when you would meet him. He’d be utterly inappropriate at first. Either too poor, or too rich, and probably rude, but there would be an unspoken attraction neither of you could deny.” Safiye broke off her faux serious monologue to giggle, then picked back up. “You are the perfect romantic heroine, though. Serious and dedicated, but secretly longing for more.”

-

“I appreciate that Saf” Harper said, knowing that her friend having an open day was a rarity (and not just because she preferred to have most things scheduled).

But when Safiye starting putting thought into answering the question Harper asked— mostly jokingly— she was intrigued. Her chin rested in her hands and her drink sat unsipped as she listened intently. But she gave a scowl with no malice behind it at ‘probably rude, but there would be an unspoken attraction neither of you could deny’

“I cannot for the life of me decide whether I love that or hate that idea. Undeniable chemistry? Sign me up. But having to deal with someone rude first…. Well,” she considered, tilting her head, “I suppose it would depend on what type of rude they are.” Harper’s giggles joined Saf’s. She couldn’t imagine talking to anyone else like this, being able to know without explaining exactly what she meant by different types of rudeness (and there were plenty).

But when Safiye continued her monologue, she yet again had Harper’s rapt attention. Harper couldn’t help but feel touched and seen, but the logical part of her brain scolded her and kept her skeptical. “Me? The perfect romantic heroine? With my bizarre hours, contradictory personality and… affection for alcohol.” She took a big sip as if to punctuate the sentiment. “But you? Growing up full of glamor and beauty; invitations to balls and charity events; getting a taste of freedom and losing it; and the most important requirement— being a hopeless romantic,” Harper over-emphasized those last words before dissolving back into giggles.

“Seriously though, I know I tease you about it, but I think it’s amazing that you’re in touch with that side of yourself and what you want. It’s a good thing… Even if it does give me some of my favorite fodder against you” Harper said, sticking out her tongue.

safiyeece​:

-

“Yes, it simply must be!” Safiye simpered along with Harper, then rolled her eyes again. “Nevermind that exponential growth is fundamentally unsustainable.” It was always like this with Safiye, swift shifting between shallow swimming and deeper waters. She was by necessity comfortable with surface interactions, but she craved greater stimulation. Usually, she ignored the urge, pushing it down until it was little more than a vague irritation, but she didn’t go to the same trouble to appear Proper when it was just  her and Harper.

For a moment, Safiye allowed herself to imagine it. Her hand went to the watch in her pocket and she traced its outline as she pictured seeing the world with Harper at her side, showing her friend around Istanbul, even reconnecting with Dilara. But the memory of her fallen cousin pushed Safiye out of her reverie and she shook her head. They could, technically, but at what cost? 

“Oh, but think of all of the Society we would miss.” The joke came out thin and dry. Safiye knew all too well that neither she nor Harper would truly miss the society they’d grown up in. Sometimes she craved a lack of it, and though they danced around the subject, never openly addressing it, she had a feeling Harper did as well. The truth of it was like the sun, easier to look at through the corner of an eye rather than directly.

Safiye took the offered menu and perused it eagerly, happy to follow Harper’s plan away from the ‘sad wine-tipsy road.’ Her eyes went immediately to the cocktail Harper mentioned, gin mixed with black tea and a ginger simple syrup poured over muddled plum. It combined several of Safiye’s favorite flavors and was something she’d mentioned to Harper on more than one occasion. It was touching that Harper had remembered to include it this season, and the kind of silent gift that their friendship was built on. “Well, if you have that, then I don’t need to look at the menu.” Safiye smiled as she handed the menu back to Harper.

-

Harper internally felt a surge of pride in herself as she took in Safiye’s response to the drink. She thrived on positive feedback as it was, but coming from Safiye it hit a different chord. It felt so genuine and natural; she knew Safiye wasn’t looking to gain something from her, she had just made her friend happy. And in a world where Harper knew that was a struggle for both of them, she was honored.

They didn’t often discuss it, their feelings about their respective situations. It was clear that there was more beneath the surface that neither friend could or would discuss, but part of what made their friendship so special was their understanding and respect of those boundaries; their shared ability to catch each other’s drifts in spite of things left out. It was this same understanding that guided Harper to drop the joke. If it were anyone else, she probably would have continued in order to keep her guard up and her edge intact. Truth be told, she also had the feeling that if she tried, her voice would crack or some other tell would show itself.

Unsure of what more she actually wanted to drink, herself, Harper pondered the menu. She let out a soft laugh. “You know, considering the role I had in shaping this menu, you’d think I’d have an easier time picking something,” she mused aloud. Truth be told, beyond Safiye’s drink, she could barely remember what they’d actually selected for this menu.

The summer was difficult for Harper. Between the memories of graduation, and then her parents, plus her birthday thrown in there too, the early part of summer especially tended to be blurry and hard to focus on. For one or two years after her parents passing, Harper attempted to actively deal with both, which just resulted in whiplash and guilt. She’d considered trying again this year, but ultimately hadn’t decided for sure.

Settling on an elderflower cocktail for herself, Harper sent word down to the kitchen and bar to deliver a couple of their chosen drinks along with some sweet biscuits up to her suite.

1x07 / 2x07 / 2x10 / 2x11