In Another Life, I Would’ve Really Liked Just Doing Laundry And Taxes With You

How did people describe the taste of cilantro before modern soap was invented? Or did the cilantro-tastes-like-soap gene not exist then? (Writing a Socrates x Plato fluff fic)

im sorry youre writing what now

I promise I didn't disappear, I just don't have any impulse control and started several at once again haha

the meaning of life is….dipping carbs into liquids ….bread into soup…biscuits into tea…that’s it

"the trauma made you kind" fuck that. no. i am kind because i cannot allow anyone to go through what i did. i am soft because i chose to be.

Find yourself a man who proposes to you using a ring pop candy

I like that at some point a human looked at a sheep and went ‘oh man that looks warm, I wish I was that warm’ and then stole all its hair

he put it on his wallet

The Doctor and The Master implies a third, less prestigious renegade timelord named The Bachelor

The biggest misconception in public schools is that literary analysis is about proving you can be right or wrong about a book you read

Literary analysis isn’t about the book

It’s not even about being right

It’s about performing an investigation and presenting your case to the jury

It doesn’t matter if your defendant killed that guy or not. If you can convince the jury he didn’t, you’ve won

And the incredible life skill of spinning bulletproof bullshit out your ass with a handful of facts and a prayer is soooooooo much more valuable than anyone’s ever gonna tell you

welcome to my crack au where everything was fine and nothing bad ever happened to anyone