Thought Experiment: The Crew Of A Hypothetical Star Trek Style TV Show That’s Been Deliberately Contrived

Thought experiment: the crew of a hypothetical Star Trek style TV show that’s been deliberately contrived to cause as many arguments as possible between canon-conscious fanfic authors.

A chief engineer whose facial appearance is apparently shockingly unusual, but whose face is never actually seen. The engineering deck is often obscured by steam, and their responsibilities frequently require them to wear a full-face protective shield, while any time they’re encountered outside of engineering they’re shot exclusively from the back, or with some foreground object conveniently blocking their face. There’s a running gag where any time someone tries to describe them they just can’t seem to come up with the right word.  

A tactical officer who may or may not actually have a name. Unlike the chief engineer, above, no conspicuous concealment ever occurs; the show’s plot and dialogue are simply structured so that their name just happens never to come up, in such a way that a given audience member might not notice until someone points it out to them. The character is, of course, one half of the show’s primary canon ship. The show’s supplementary material is likewise phrased in such a way that the character’s name is never stated, with the character’s actor being credited as “also featuring”.  

A chief medical officer who manages to deploy a strangely topical anecdote from their implausibly extensive prior career in nearly every episode. These anecdotes are careful never to directly contradict each other, but in aggregate form a personal history which cannot conceivably be true. The possibility that they’re just spinning tall tales is ruled out by the fact that their anecdotes are frequently corroborated by comments from other crew members who’ve either heard about the incident in question or were present themselves for some (generally unspecified) reason.  

A communications officer and a science officer who are played by the same actor. They’re never seen on screen together, even while off duty. (e.g., at any gathering where one of them appears, the other “couldn’t make it”.) The circumstances that prevent them from ever being in the same room are often set up to lead the audience to suspect that they’re looking at one character pretending to be two separate people for some unspecified reason, but only characters who aren’t members of the crew ever notice the fact that they’re identical apart from the colour of their uniforms; the other crew members simply don’t see the resemblance.  

The captain, who appears in every single episode and often plays a central role in the plot, yet has no regular actor, being portrayed by an endless parade of guest stars. Their age, gender, and overall appearance is usually wildly different from episode to episode, though they always wear the same distinctive headgear in order to allow the audience to easily recognise them. This is apparently a diegetic phenomenon, as other characters will occasionally comment in passing on the captain’s current appearance, but the phenomenon is otherwise so unremarkable to them that its significance is never discussed.

More Posts from Thecaffiend and Others

4 years ago
An RNA Vaccine Produced By Pfizer & BioNTech Was Approved For Use In The UK Today.

An RNA vaccine produced by Pfizer & BioNTech was approved for use in the UK today.

Here’s a graphic, made with the Royal Society of Chemistry, explaining how these vaccines work: https://ift.tt/3g0d6Kh https://ift.tt/39xwwFf


Tags
4 years ago

I bet it's a cicada. Those suckers are terrifying.

My Friend Sent This To Her Professor Today

My friend sent this to her Professor today

3 years ago

I'm really tired of people on social media saying things like "being silent on an issue means you side with the oppressors" like yes this is true in an abstract sense and is true in a more definite sense if we were all celebrities with large platforms and someone was interviewing us and they asked us about some political issue directly and we said "no comment" but choosing to exist on social media without endlessly discussing every political issue happening throughout the entire world does not mean you stand with oppressors, it means you're just living your life and focusing your energy (mostly offline!!!!!!!) to the few causes and issues most important to you, and that's entirely okay... enough with the fake woke guilt-tripping

1 year ago

one day I woke up and realised all the waiting and yearning was actually me living my life and it’s happening right now and it’s still good even if it’s not perfect and there is no moment when all your dreams get fulfilled and everything makes sense. like… this is it. this is life. you’ll waste away your youth waiting for some imagined future if you don’t love life for what it is now and make the most of it

7 years ago
Daily Fitness Motivation Http://inspiremyfitnessspirit.tumblr.com

daily fitness motivation http://inspiremyfitnessspirit.tumblr.com

3 years ago

“For all the attention the Berlin conservatory study has received, this part of the top students’ experiences—their sleep patterns, their attention to leisure, their cultivation of deliberate rest as a necessary complement of demanding, deliberate practice—goes unmentioned. In Outliers, Malcolm Gladwell focuses on the number of hours exceptional performers practice and says nothing about the fact that those students also slept an hour more, on average, than their less-accomplished peers, or that they took naps and long breaks. This is not to say that Gladwell misread Ericsson’s study; he just glossed over that part. And he has lots of company. Everybody speed-reads through the discussion of sleep and leisure and argues about the 10,000 hours. This illustrates a blind spot that scientists, scholars, and almost all of us share: a tendency to focus on focused work, to assume that the road to greater creativity is paved by life hacks, propped up by eccentric habits, or smoothed by Adderall or LSD. Those who research world-class performance focus only on what students do in the gym or track or practice room. Everybody focuses on the most obvious, measurable forms of work and tries to make those more effective and more productive. They don’t ask whether there are other ways to improve performance, and improve your life. This is how we’ve come to believe that world-class performance comes after 10,000 hours of practice. But that’s wrong. It comes after 10,000 hours of deliberate practice, 12,500 hours of deliberate rest, and 30,000 hours of sleep.”

— Alex Soojung-Kim Pang, Darwin Was a Slacker and You Should Be Too

4 years ago

Cool Tip

If you are like me and always need to be working on something to keep your anxiety under control, during this quarentine why not helping scientists by looking at pictures of some neat penguins? or even galaxies?  There’s this site call Zooniverse, where you can help on scientific projects by analyzing pictures and data!  Right now my favorite project has returned, called Penguin Watch (where yeah, you get to watch penguins, it’s amazing)

Cool Tip

you basically have to analyse photos looking for penguins, their chicks, eggs or even predators and human interaction But there are lots of interesting projects you can help in areas such as biology, physics, history or even art: 

Cool Tip
Cool Tip
Cool Tip
Cool Tip
Cool Tip
Cool Tip
Cool Tip
Cool Tip

Oh and the best part, some institutions even accept it as volunteering/service hour requirements for graduation and scholarships!! It’s helping me a lot during this time, so I thought it was worth sharing 

3 years ago

“For all the attention the Berlin conservatory study has received, this part of the top students’ experiences—their sleep patterns, their attention to leisure, their cultivation of deliberate rest as a necessary complement of demanding, deliberate practice—goes unmentioned. In Outliers, Malcolm Gladwell focuses on the number of hours exceptional performers practice and says nothing about the fact that those students also slept an hour more, on average, than their less-accomplished peers, or that they took naps and long breaks. This is not to say that Gladwell misread Ericsson’s study; he just glossed over that part. And he has lots of company. Everybody speed-reads through the discussion of sleep and leisure and argues about the 10,000 hours. This illustrates a blind spot that scientists, scholars, and almost all of us share: a tendency to focus on focused work, to assume that the road to greater creativity is paved by life hacks, propped up by eccentric habits, or smoothed by Adderall or LSD. Those who research world-class performance focus only on what students do in the gym or track or practice room. Everybody focuses on the most obvious, measurable forms of work and tries to make those more effective and more productive. They don’t ask whether there are other ways to improve performance, and improve your life. This is how we’ve come to believe that world-class performance comes after 10,000 hours of practice. But that’s wrong. It comes after 10,000 hours of deliberate practice, 12,500 hours of deliberate rest, and 30,000 hours of sleep.”

— Alex Soojung-Kim Pang, Darwin Was a Slacker and You Should Be Too

3 years ago

Tips for working with children?

1. Don't lie to them if you can avoid it. Water down truths at your discretion, but if you try to lie outright, a good number of them are probably going to pick up on your weird energy and figure you're hiding something. This will very likely come off as "adult who doesn't think we're real people", which is how you promote rebellion.

2. Listen to the problems they come to you with. Imagine they were your problems. If Brůnden at work stole all your pens and ignored your requests to leave you be, you'd be pretty pissed if your manager told you to "just use your nice words" or "let him get bored". Decide what you would want an adult to do, and form a reasonable response.

3. Let some of your weird (child appropriate) interests show. Odds are, when they see your passion, they'll take interest. I accidentally wound up teaching an intro to animal biology to a group of first graders in my after school program this way, and it became what they knew me for. Great for bonding, teaching, and bartering for completed chores.

4. Learn about things they're interested in, but don't force it into things. It'll help you understand what you overhear, and pitch in at the right moment.

5. Treats and stickers. They work on adults, and they work on kids. Make them take a little bit of effort to earn, but also pick special occasions where everyone gets one free. Once you get a better idea of their personalities, lives, strengths, and weaknesses, you can tailor this for personal growth.

6. Acknowledge their feelings. Verbally affirm that they are upset, they are frustrated, they are angry or sad, and encourage them to explain why, and work to find acceptable solutions. Staying perfectly calm and happy while they're angry might help to a point, but ignoring their obvious feelings will make them feel that you don't care or understand, which will make things worse. A lot of kids have a hard time figuring out how adults feel, and why, so empathy will need to be clearer.

7. Play with them on their own level. When you play a game they started on their own, follow their rules, and if you can't, explain why. Expect a few of them to try and mess with you. You're not as distant or alien if you can fall for the same things they do, or admit when you've been outsmarted or outclassed. Be aware that some rules may change at random, and don't go all out on winning.

8. Be honest in ways other adults won't be. When telling a personal story, mention offhand that you didn't like someone, or someone was mean for no reason, or another adult was rude or broke rules, they'll see that you think and feel in similar ways as them, and it can reinforce that yeah, sometimes life is unfair, no, growing up doesn't numb your personality, and no, you don't have to feel happy and positive and pleasant all the time. Sometimes things just suck, and you need to handle it maturely. It's acting on bad feelings that's bad, not the bad feelings themselves. And hey, sometimes adults ARE mean or rude or wrong! They're not crazy or dumb when they notice!

9. Literally just be yourself. Curb any cursing or inappropriate subject matter, but otherwise, they'll recognize that you're an individual with your own personality, and either they'll like you or they won't. Either way, they'll decide how to act from there. Kids are mostly just distilled adults with social restrictions, they can adapt to a lot.

  • beans-beans-beans-beans-beans
    beans-beans-beans-beans-beans reblogged this · 2 weeks ago
  • beans-beans-beans-beans-beans
    beans-beans-beans-beans-beans liked this · 2 weeks ago
  • king-of-fuffies
    king-of-fuffies reblogged this · 3 weeks ago
  • the-later-fandom-historian
    the-later-fandom-historian liked this · 3 weeks ago
  • intervenesspitefully
    intervenesspitefully reblogged this · 3 weeks ago
  • toothpickyswag
    toothpickyswag reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • toothpickyswag
    toothpickyswag liked this · 1 month ago
  • thekiraglitter
    thekiraglitter reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • citruste
    citruste liked this · 1 month ago
  • queer-folk-abroad
    queer-folk-abroad liked this · 2 months ago
  • lizardbrainlabs
    lizardbrainlabs liked this · 2 months ago
  • sky-black-lungs
    sky-black-lungs liked this · 3 months ago
  • faniin
    faniin reblogged this · 3 months ago
  • faniin
    faniin liked this · 3 months ago
  • nochnye-vedmy
    nochnye-vedmy reblogged this · 3 months ago
  • dandelionpuppies
    dandelionpuppies liked this · 4 months ago
  • scarletpiano
    scarletpiano reblogged this · 4 months ago
  • therandompersons
    therandompersons liked this · 4 months ago
  • biichama
    biichama liked this · 4 months ago
  • tigerkat24
    tigerkat24 liked this · 4 months ago
  • thekookster
    thekookster liked this · 4 months ago
  • enbyandearthworm
    enbyandearthworm liked this · 4 months ago
  • bookgeekgrrl
    bookgeekgrrl reblogged this · 4 months ago
  • emmy-way
    emmy-way liked this · 4 months ago
  • willholtz
    willholtz liked this · 4 months ago
  • bookgeekgrrl
    bookgeekgrrl liked this · 4 months ago
  • one-eyed-bossman
    one-eyed-bossman reblogged this · 4 months ago
  • bardicinspiration-blog
    bardicinspiration-blog reblogged this · 4 months ago
  • bardicinspiration-blog
    bardicinspiration-blog liked this · 4 months ago
  • bitterpill
    bitterpill liked this · 4 months ago
  • scrungkle-wyrm
    scrungkle-wyrm reblogged this · 4 months ago
  • tehdes
    tehdes reblogged this · 5 months ago
  • onagravitashunt
    onagravitashunt liked this · 5 months ago
  • formlesschromatic
    formlesschromatic liked this · 5 months ago
  • spiderh0rse
    spiderh0rse liked this · 5 months ago
  • story-scramblery
    story-scramblery reblogged this · 5 months ago
  • agremlinofacatte
    agremlinofacatte reblogged this · 5 months ago
  • toomanyfandoms11
    toomanyfandoms11 reblogged this · 5 months ago
  • toomanyfandoms11
    toomanyfandoms11 liked this · 5 months ago
  • neverthesamebird
    neverthesamebird liked this · 6 months ago
  • infinitetiredness
    infinitetiredness reblogged this · 6 months ago
  • adishpan
    adishpan reblogged this · 6 months ago
  • wrinklecat
    wrinklecat reblogged this · 6 months ago
  • aclockworkcat
    aclockworkcat liked this · 6 months ago
  • ravens-cove
    ravens-cove reblogged this · 6 months ago
  • clockworkalpaca
    clockworkalpaca reblogged this · 6 months ago
  • good--merits-accumulated
    good--merits-accumulated liked this · 6 months ago
  • mejomonster
    mejomonster reblogged this · 6 months ago
  • strictly-script
    strictly-script liked this · 6 months ago
thecaffiend - thecaffiend
thecaffiend

food for thought and some aesthetics | she/her | 23 y/o |

238 posts

Explore Tumblr Blog
Search Through Tumblr Tags